Flotsam and some jet?: Budget bollocks: NHS complaints process bollocks: ATOS lies-again: Old fart pilot and the parachute: Crash test Roos: and Crash test failure:

Much lack of lack of cold, more than a whimsy of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of ex skywater and just a glimpse of dawn's crack at the Castle this morn.

Poor old Angus is doing OK, the diabetes thing is now back under control despite a toof ache-toof out-infection and antibiotics, and I spent most of the last more than seven days fettling the garden; extra bamboo screens, moved the stepping stones to accommodate the new extendable washing line, put up a new fence in the quiet corner, painted the fences (hint-DO NOT buy Homebase's own "light oak" fence stuff-it is orange when applied-even more orange with a second coat, I finally used B&Q's own stuff which is artistically called "brown"-covered in one coat), and did the first cut on the moss. I even washed the Honda...

 

 

East a lot dahn a fair bit

 

The hunt for MH370 goes on, and on, and on, it seems that the latest "clue" is a blurry photo of something that looks like a giant upside dahn motor, but the mystery deepens as it turns out that A US technology company which had 20 senior staff on board Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 had just launched a new electronic warfare gadget for military radar systems in the days before the Boeing 777 went missing.

 

So a few hints as to where it may be:

Norf Korea's rear exit.

eBay.

The Castle's moat.

 

How is it that "they" can listen to all our phone calls, see all our emails but can't find a bleedin great jet with an orange black box that is emitting beeps every few moments?

 

Back in Budget Blighty

 

Apparently son of a B........aronet and alien reptile in disguise chancer of the exchequer George (I love pensioners) Osborne has done yet another Budget, which will allow the elder part of the population to snatch and squander their pension pots.

This will of course allow we old farts to buy "luxuries" such as gas and electricity, food and even some go juice for the motor as well as being able to buy more than one pint of beer and play bingo to excess.

And will of course "stimulate" the economy adding many squillions in tax to the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalitions' coffers.

 

Cheers George......

 

All across the National Elf Service

 

After many years and many deaths allegedly the Healthwatch England watchdog thingy has come to the conclusion that the complaints system for the NHS in England is "hopelessly complicated" and needs an overhaul.

Apparently Healthwatch England says more than 70 organisations are involved in dealing with complaints about the NHS and social care.

It wants the process to be simplified to ensure patients get more support.

Healthwatch England chairwoman, Anna Bradley, said: "It's no wonder the public are left confused and frustrated. With so many organisations involved it's difficult to know where to start, let alone having the strength and persistence to navigate the system on your own.

 

No shit...remember the photo, we will be watching....

 

Staying with Elf problems

Allegedly ATOS that wonderful French supplier of the infamous Fit to work assessments which went so well that they want to end the contract early has now managed to secure the contract for the PIP (personal independence payments) has been telling porkies to grab even more of our loot.

In its tender document, submitted to the Department of Work and Pensions, Atos suggested that more than 700 healthcare providers, including 56 NHS hospitals, had contractually agreed to provide accommodation where assessments for new Personal Independence Payments could take place. It claimed the “hyper-local” network would mean that no disabled claimant would have to travel more than 60 minutes to attend an assessment, with “over 90 per cent of claimants able to reach the centres in 30 minutes”.

But the Public Accounts Committee heard that, since the scheme was launched, over 40 per cent of all claimants have had to travel for more than an hour to reach an assessment centre, with only 40 per cent being able to reach a suitable location in less than 45 minutes.

Atos had in fact contracted fewer than 100 healthcare providers to provide accommodation – and a miscalculation by the DWP over how long each session would take meant that some severely disabled people were waiting longer than six months to be seen.

MPs accused Atos of “playing fast and loose with the truth” in the bid document – resulting in ministers misleading Parliament about how the scheme would work.

Personal Independence Payments began to replace Disability Living Allowance in April last year. Most people applying for PIP have a face-to-face assessment to determine eligibility, which is carried out by Atos Healthcare and Capita Business Services.

But a report from the National Audit Office found claimants were waiting an average of 107 days, and terminally ill patients 28 days, for a decision on their cases – much longer than had been predicted.

MPs told Lisa Coleman, senior vice-president of Atos, that they believed the firm had been misleading in its bid document.

“You only managed to work with a quarter of the trusts you named in the document,” the committee’s chair, Margaret Hodge, told her. “If there had been one or two falling out then I could have accepted your argument – but only a quarter?”

She then asked: “Is it usual to lie in the tender document, Ms Coleman?”

Ms Coleman told the committee that because the DWP had pushed back its plans for mandatory re-assessment of all DLA claimants until 2015 fewer sites were needed than had been suggested in the bid document. “We have had sufficient coverage,” she said. “If we had used all 750 sites they would [each] be doing about three assessments a week.”

Ms Coleman added: “What we talked about in the tender document was what we thought we could achieve. When you write a tender document you say this is the specification that I can deliver. This is what I am responsible for.”

She added: “We are not there yet. I am not going to sit here and say we are.”

An Atos spokeswoman subsequently said the company categorically denied making misleading claims in the tender document.

 

 Yeah right......

 

Left quite a lot and dahn not quite as much

87-year-old pilot Shannon Trembley was practicing take orfs and landings at South Lakeland airport in Mulberry, Florida when he managed to crash into a parachutist who wasn't practicing landings but took orf again.

His Cessna got caught in Mr Frost’s strings and spun through 180 degrees before crashing into a landing field.

Onlookers pulled Mr Trembley out of the plane in case it caught fire.

Emergency services arrived soon afterwards and took the two men to hospital.

Mr Frost was later allowed home but doctors kept Mr Trembley in for observation.

The National Transportation Safety Board and Federal Aviation Administration are investigating.

 

Should have gorn to Specsavers...

 

Dahn Unda

Volvo has been testing its automatic braking system with crash test Kangaroos, apparently there are more than 20,000 kangaroo strikes on Australia’s roads every year?  In response to the rogue roo problem, Volvo is in the process of training it’s City Safe autonomous braking system to recognize kangaroos that enter into the path of the vehicle. The system  are responsible for -and automatically slam on the brakes if the driver does not.

The system was originally developed to detect pedestrians; later this year the same setup will enable selected Volvo cars to also detect cyclists.

A radar sensor in the grille scans the road 100 metres ahead and a camera in the windscreen works with the radar to detect which way the object is moving to help the computer decide what action to take, if any.

The system processes 15 images every second and can react to an emergency in half the time a human driver can, Volvo claims. With some kangaroos taller than six feet, the system may prevent considerable vehicle damage.

 

Didn't go too well on the last try..

 

Volvo claims it is working on a system that can recognize dogs and cats.

 

How can a motor know that his Maj is called His Maj?

 

 

And finally:

 

Staying with crash tests

 

Right more than a lot of imperial yards Independent car safety body, Global NCAP, has found that a number of small cars on sale in India pose a very serious risk to their occupants in the event of a crash.

In the first-ever independent crash tests of some of India's most popular small cars, Global NCAP awarded entry-level models of the Volkswagen Polo, Ford Figo and previous-generation Hyundai i10 zero stars for adult protection. This is in stark contrast to the current European equivalents – the Ford Fiesta and Polo achieved a five-star rating in their Euro NCAP tests, while the old Hyundai i10 managed a respectable four.

India's best-selling car, the Suzuki-Maruti Alto 800, was also assessed, as was the Tata Nano. The five cars were afflicted by two major problems – namely a lack of structural integrity and an absence of airbags, meaning that too much energy is absorbed directly by the people in the cars in the event of a crash.

In the 40mph NCAP crash test, the Indian version of the i10 achieved a zero-star rating for adult protection, a one-star rating for child protection and was unable to meet the UN's minimum safety requirements in the 35mph crash test. Along with the Alto 800 and Nano, the i10 was also found to be structurally inadequate, collapsing onto occupants in a crash too easily.

The Ford Figo, which is based on the previous-generation Ford Fiesta platform, achieved zero stars for adult protection and a two-star rating for child protection. What's more, it only met the UN's minimum safety requirements in the 35mph crash test because the dummy's head in the driver seat narrowly avoided direct contact with the steering wheel.


Glad they are not sold in Blighty...




That's it: I'm orf to get a new app for the smart phone



And today's thought:



They seek it here, they seek it there

 

Angus

Global crisis caused by Crimea incident

Many, many units of lack of warm, just a whimsy of skywater, a butterfly's' cough of atmospheric movement and the merest glimpse of Dawn's crack at the Castle this pancake flipping morn.

All is well with poor old Angus, bits that should work are and bits that shouldn't don't, his Maj is full of the joys of something and the smart cat flap is performing within expected parameters.

 

 

Well it's finally happened, landlady Mrs Floppybits dahn at the Crimea pub dropped her breakfast tray causing a global crisis.

Much coffee was lost causing a surge in the price of the beans throughout the globe, her toast was lost to the hot liquid meaning that the cost of wheat soared, the spoilt milk caused Tesco to reduce the retail price of 4 pints, the boiled egg exploded which brought about a steep increase in the retail price of chucky ovals, which in turn made the price of fowl meat burst through the 5 squid barrier and spawned a frenzy of buying in the feather pillows and duvet market.

The broken cereal bowl made a huge dent in the floor tile industry causing the shares of B&Q to soar, which made the city panic over prices of wood, corn, cement, sheds, copper, brass, lead, plastic, furniture, garden tools, fencing and turfs.

This lead to a rest break being cancelled and caused the price of tea to rocket and the result was a slump in the Rupee, the marmalade was ruined leading to a torrent of bidding on the orange markets and the backlash was that Florida is now bankrupt and the American economy is on the verge of collapse.

Back in Blighty the city has stalled, with no commodities left to make a profit on our economy has dived back into the sewer and we are all stuffed, in fact the world is going to end tomorrow because some knob head has revived a thirty thousand year old virus found beneath the permafrost up Norf (and a bit more).

 

So there we are:-fucked, all because of a lost brekkie in the Crimea and the scaremongering of the media and twats that can't mind their own business and take a delight in winding up the world.

 

That's it: I'm orf to plumb the depths of the moat

 

And today's thought:

 

Angus

 

Later lack of care: Forkin Numpty: Second hand avoidance: Where did you get that hat: Pot for the Potty and Riccing:.

Definite lack of warm, indefinite amounts of skywater, a whimsy of atmospheric movement and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the wet stuff is that nasty fine drizzly thingy that gets into all your nooks and grannies, but I did catch a snatch of Dawn's crack yestermorn.

The itches have finally gorn, the diabetes thingy is well under control and his Maj has discovered the joy of waiting for me to wash the kitchen floor and then dashing in through his "smart" cat flap and leaving muddy paw prints all over the place.

Been in the garden most of the week, putting up fences, concreting in posts, repairing the back gate, moving stepping stones and having a general fettle.

Also been watching the Ice Cold Olympics, really nice to see a load of young maniacs going about their business and enjoying it.

 

Over to the East

The Ukraine thingy is still dragging on and has been the "most important story" according to the BEEB and the rest of the media, lovely, really don't give a Porpoise's plums, have a think about Northern Ireland, Afghanistan and Iraq; what interests me more is:-

 

Up Norf

The case of a diabetic patient who died at Stafford Hospital has "wider implications" that mean a judge needs "time to reflect" before sentencing the NHS Trust, a court has been told.

Gillian Astbury, 66, lapsed into a coma after nurses failed to give her insulin and died at the hospital in April 2007.

Mid Staffordshire NHS Foundation Trust admitted health and safety breaches.

Mr Justice Haddon-Cave told Stafford Crown Court he would reserve sentencing of the trust to a later date.

An inquest in 2010 ruled there had been a failure to provide basic care.

 

Bollocks, this has been going on far too long, let's see a few "managers/CEO's" slapped in prison for corporate manslaughter...

 

Left a lot to the place where James Tiberius Kirk comes from

When a vending machine refused to give Robert McKevitt from Iowa in the USA his choccy bar, he decided to attack it with an 8,000lb (3,628kg) forklift.

Apparently the Forkin Numpty was overjoyed when two extra bars dropped into the tray but his joy was short-lived after he was eventually fired for inappropriate use of the company' property.

'That machine was trouble,' the 27-year-old said.

'They fired me, and now I hear they have all new vending machines there.'

 

Life's a Twix.....

 

Back in Blighty

Allegedly Chris Moyles claimed to be second-hand car dealer to avoid tax on £1 million, Moyles, 40, was one of the BBC’s highest-paid stars as the presenter of Radio 1’s Breakfast Show when he joined the scheme run by NT Advisers, whose initials stand for “no tax”, in 2007.

He filed a self-assessment tax return that claimed he had “engaged in self-employment as a used car trader” during the year to April 2008.

The broadcaster said finance charges he had incurred through his involvement in the second-hand vehicle business meant he suffered a loss of more than £1 million, which he sought to set against his other tax liabilities.

The top rate of income tax at the time was 40 per cent, meaning he could have avoided paying £400,000.

After investigating his case, HMRC rejected the loss claim, leading the former BBC star to launch an appeal before a tax tribunal along with two other wealthy men who had also used the Working Wheels scheme.

Moyles did not give evidence to the tribunal but submitted "a very brief and rather uninformative” witness statement that made it clear he had entered the scheme “for no purpose other than to achieve a tax saving”, Judge Colin Bishopp said.

 

Oh dear; what a shame.......NOT....

 

The future of Millinery?

 

Or not....

 

Back over to the left a lot

Cannabis and cookies is turning out to be a winning recipe for some enterprising Girl Scouts.

Lexi Carney, 8, set up shop outside the TruMed medical marijuana dispensary in Phoenix Saturday, where a day earlier she sold 76 boxes of the popular cookies in just a couple of hours, Arizona's 3TV reported.

Lei's mother, like Carney's, accompanied her child, and told the East Bay Express she feels it's perfectly safe.

"There's always a security guard and cameras everywhere," she said.

Neither of the girls' scout troops commented officially on their business ventures, but in Colorado, where recreational marijuana is legal, the Girl Scouts posted a statement on their Face book page condemning the practice of selling outside any "adult-oriented business."

 

Oh well, that's alright then...

 

And finally:

 

Somewhere in a fridge/oven/box

Back in November 2013, Christina Ricci decided to put her entire body in her fridge. She shared the picture via Twitter, and in the blink of an eye started an Internet phenomenon called "riccing." People pose for pictures while squeezed into a confined space, such as the inside of a cupboard, oven or refrigerator.

 

 

I'd  be happy just to find some food in my fridge...

 

That's it: I'm orf to Sue the EU for bad weather and other stuff

 

And today's thought:

Be afraid, be very afraid.

 

 

Angus

Level Lateness; "L" of a Parrot; Blow up Bovines; and How not to cure Vertigo.

Piss poor day at the Castle this morn, even more skywater, less atmospheric movement, even less lack of cold and sod all solar stuff.

Just returned from the stale bread substitute, gruel and his Maj's food run dahn Tesco, prices are still yo-yoing faster than the Millionaires Club Sideboard changes what is laughingly called its mind, the internet robots seem to have been cloned into many, many arseholes, and they still only have two tills working.

The good news is that the plums have now returned to "normal", I can now sit and even cross my legs, walk loads of yardy things and have a lot more energy, the old blood sugar levels have gorn dahn to around 4.5 and stayed there for quite a few days.

 

Dahn in Zommerzet

After almost forty days of wet stuff the Gov has finally got orf its collective arse and is allegedly going to send what is left of  the army (all seven of them) to "sort out" the floods by sending in amphibious vehicles.

Oh joy, let's hope they are not the same as the ones in London...

 

Up Norf to the left hand part of Yorkshire

 

Apparently a learner driver has had her motor seized by the plod after being caught driving on the M62 accompanied only by a parrot.

The woman, in her 50s, was pulled over on suspicion of speeding near junction 22 of the M62 in West Yorkshire on Sunday morning but officers discovered she only had a provisional licence.

Provisional licence holders are banned from driving on motorways and are only allowed to drive at all when accompanied by a qualified driver.

Apart from the driver herself, the only passenger found by police when they stopped the 4x4 around 8.45am on Sunday morning was a grey parrot.

A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said the vehicle had been confiscated and the driver is expected to be charged with motor offences including speeding at a later date.

 

What a knob head...she should have made sure Polly had a full licence....

 

Right a whimsy to the land of comatose F1 drivers

 

A herd of dairy cows nearly lifted the roof off their barn in central Germany when methane released by the animals caused an explosion.

Police in Hesse state said in a statement that a static electric charge apparently triggered the detonation, and a spurt of flame, on Monday at a farm in Rasdorf.

The roof was slightly damaged and one cow suffered light burns - no-one was hurt. 

Police say 90 cows are kept in the shed and it wasn't clear why quantities of methane had built up.

Bovine belching and flatulence releases large quantities of the gas.

 

Right a bit more

 

A video has been posted online of a woman trying to cure her fear of heights by walking around the top of a 110m chimney stack.

The 37 second clip, shot in Prague, Czech Republic, shows the woman walking along with a man in strong winds.

It has notched up more than 163,000 hits on LiveLeak where it was described as a "cure for acrophobia".

One confused viewer commented: "How would this help someone with their fear of spiders?"

 

Nah.......

 

That's it: I'm orf to Test out a "Monopole" (And no that isn't a single man from Poland).

 

And today's thought:

 

Stay at home then.

 

Angus

The time has come the old fart said

To talk of many things: of dickhead Dave--and  gobshite George--of cabbages and kings--and whether pigs have wings.

Still more than bleedin hot, still no atmospheric movement, and just enough skywater over the dark thing to make the "muggy" even more so.

But the "new" Honda sailed through the MOT with no thingies, the "lawn" has turned into a giant wheetabix and I am having to stagger about with the watering can many, many times a day.

His Maj is full of the joys of something and the elbow still hurts more than a digital prostate exam.

 

So: in order:

 

Dickhead Dave, you know that bloke who lives in Downing street, isn't gay and leaves his kids behind in pubs.

I see that his latest "policy" is to tell us what we can and can't access on the interweb thingy, it appears that the only way to stop brats from watching porny stuff is to block it from every user in Blighty unless one wants to tell one's provider that one wants to watch porny stuff.

Here's an idea-why not put the onus on parents to police their ignorant, arrogant snotty nosed teens from banging one orf whilst "surfing".

 

Gobshite George-that other bloke who also lives in Downing Street, isn't gay and couldn't organise a stiffy in a knocking shop.

Allegedly alien reptile in disguise George (I want to plunge Blighty back into an even deeper recession than the Bankers managed) and chancer of the exchequer Osborne wants to lend mortgage money to people who can't afford it and guarantee the upcoming toxic debts with our fucking money.

He really doesn't have a clue does he.

 

 

Then we have the cabbages-otherwise known as the BBC "management" who seem to think that all and sundry in baking Blighty are so dim that we want to watch "news" about the birth of yet another Royal bloodsucker continuously for two endless fucking days and nights.

 

Expensive, boring Royal bollocks.

 

Which brings me to "Kings"

 

After what seems like nine months Pippa's sister has finally dropped the next, next, next King of Blighty amid thunder storms, lightening and torrential rain, and after looking at the pic I have come to the conclusion that the Anti-Christ has finally arrived,

Wonder if he will have ginger hair.

 

 

Do pigs have wings?

They must have if this .... millionaires club coalition think that they can sort Blighty out.

 

 

That's it: the elbow is giving me more than jip, still I can finally have some physio on August 20th, only three months after my General medic referred me.

 

Back again sometime....

 

 

Angus

 

 

Testing testing

Oodles of cloudy stuff, average lack of cold, not a whimsy of skywater (yet) and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn.

Real life has indeed been rather testing this last week or four, the elbow is still agony, the earliest I can get physio (and I would rather skip that route and go straight to the surgical option) is the middle of July and the quandary is that if I take the Tramadol I can do things but the old left handed brain cell loses its ability to string more than one word to another and vice-versa.

So I thought I would risk the pain and let "all" the friends, readers and commenter's know that I am still alive-physically at least. 

But I have managed to keep the garden looking fairly decent, and I decided to have the Honda serviced-Har-fucking-har, the cheapest I could find was £199 and the Honda people wanted nearly £400, so; I purchased the oil, oil filter, air filter, cabin filter and a set of plugs online for £33.50 with free delivery which arrived the next day. The service took me about an hour-including greasing up all the doors, handbrake, bonnet catch and various other bits and pieces.

 Up yours garages.....

And talking of places and people that rip you orf.

 

I see that Clone "B"

Otherwise known as the Ed Milli-Band has finally morphed into a Tory, now we have no choice whatsoever at the next election apart from old Niggle Garage and his unobtainable economic policies.

 

Over in the upper part of the Irish Isle

The multi millionaire leaders of most of the free world have gathered to work out how they will be able to get round the new agreements they will reach on tax evading/avoiding.

And what to do in the middle east, which has absolutely fuck all to do with the G8, us the Americans and everyone else apart from those in Syria who are quite welcome to blast each other to kingdom come, at least it keeps all the "terrorists" in one place.

 

Somewhere in a shed in Blighty

 

Designers John Foden, 37, and Yannick Read, 42, have spent two years working on an advanced prototype of the ride able aircraft that they have called the Paravelo, which is capable to travelling at speeds of 15mph on land and 25mph in the air.

When cycling the bicycle tows a lightweight trailer carrying a powerful fan. In order to fly, the bike attaches to its trailer, a flexible wing is unfurled and an electric starter motor fires up the biofuel-powered fan.

The say they need £50,000 to finalise the design that could be brought off the shelf and have launched a kickstarter project to raise the money from investors.

To contribute to the project click here.

 
Think I'll pass on that one...what I don't need is cyclists plummeting from the sky onto the new-ish motor....

 
And finally
 

Due to lack of self esteem

 

 

 

Old fart Arnie (I belong in a museum) Schwarzenegger is thinking of coming back as the Terminator in the franchise's fifth instalment next year.

The action star will be reprising his role as a futuristic cyborg for the first time since Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines from 2003.

The former Governor of California announced the news during a speech at the 21st Century Financial Education Summit event in Australia.

"I'm very happy that the studios want me to be in Terminator 5 and to star as the Terminator, which we start shooting in January," Arnie told fan-site TheArnoldFans.

 

Oh great-can't wait.....

 

That's it: I'm orf to blame the French for the prices dahn Tesco

 

And today's thought:

I didn't pay my license fee because-

 

 

Angus

 

Cop that: Last voyage: EU serve olive oil: Up over Dahn Unda: and Harry has a banger.

Quite a lot of lack of cold, too much drizzly skywater, just enough atmospheric movement and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the elbow is still playing up, the garden is still doing its thing and his Maj is full of the joys of.......something.

 

Some white-bluebells

 

Some other white stuff

And some purple stuff

 

 

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj's food run dahn Tesco, prices are going up so fast by the time you get to the checkout the increases are added to the bill.

A while since the last post, the old left handed brain cell has been a bit foggy and there hasn't been much to write about.

And to be honest there still isn't.

 

The main "news" item seems to be

The ongoing saga of the shit shovers and pussy pummellers "right" to wed, which is causing a bit of a hoo-ha in the Millionaires Club Coalition ranks, while the rest of us are more concerned with paying the bills and affording food "they" seen to think that this "bill" will attract the younger generation to the Tory cause so that Dave and his non gay mates will return to power at the next election.

 

Does anyone really give a culled Badgers bollocks?

 

 

All across buggered Blighty

Quite a lot of plod are doing rather well, apparently almost 5,000 retired police officers who have been re-employed by their old force are receiving both a pension and a salary paid by us.

Allegedly they are ‘double dipping’ into the public purse by receiving both a generous monthly pension and a salary from their new job, with one force having more than one in five of all civilian staff jobs carried out by former warranted officers.

Among those senior officers ‘double dipping’ is Andy Trotter, the Chief Constable of British Transport Police, who earns £150,000 at his current job and receives a further reported £70,000 a-year in pension, having retired from another force. 

A spokesman for the Police Federation said retired officers who went back to work for their old forces were providing a benefit to the public.

“If a retired officer wishes to do a civilian post this is not only beneficial for the service but also the public as it retains the knowledge and skills gained and uses these in a complimentary and important support function.”

 

Oh well: That's alright then.....

 

Dahn Sarf

To Pompey: Large crowds are expected to gather later to watch aircraft carrier Ark Royal leave the port for the final time.

The Royal Navy's former flagship was decommissioned early following the 2010 defence review and is being towed to Turkey for scrap.

As part of a £2.9m deal she will go to the same yard that took her sister ship Invincible.

Former crew members are expected to watch as she leaves at about 13:00 BST.

 

A sad day for the Navy and Blighty...

 

Right a bit to where the hard round green things come from

Allegedly European Union bureaucrats managed to find the time on Saturday to impose strict new rules on how restaurants serve olive oil.

From January 1, 2014, eateries will be banned from serving oil to diners in small glass jugs or dipping bowls, and forced instead to use pre-sealed, non-refillable bottles that must be disposed of when empty.

The European Commission said the move is designed to improve hygiene and reassure consumers the olive oil in restaurants has not been diluted with an inferior product.

 

Nice to see that they have their priorities right.....

 

Dahn Unda

 A controversial British-made hot air balloon takes to the skies this weekend to commemorate the 100th birthday of Australia's capital city.

Dubbed the Skywhale, the colossal creation was designed by artist Patricia Piccinini and built by Cameron Balloons in Bristol.

With its turtle-like face and ten huge udders, the Skywhale has divided opinion, as has the £192,000 cost of the project.

It is 34 metres long - twice the size of an average hot air balloon - and took 16 people seven months to make.

Ms Piccinini sent her 3D model of the Skywhale to Cameron Balloons last year who imported it into their design systems.

Cameron Balloons then transferred the colours, patterns and textures of the design onto 3,535 metres of fabric.

Ms Piccinini said: "It is such an amazing chance to make something so massive and wonderful.

 

Yeah right....

 

And finally:

 

Still Dahn Unda

Tiffany Evans was about to take her children to school when her Samoyed Harry brought her a "present". "Harry came running to the back door with what I assumed was a stick in his mouth. He stopped and gave it to me and I thought: 'It looks like a stick of dynamite'," she said.

Mrs Evans put the explosive aside and took the kids to school before returning to investigate. She then took the explosive into the family's road machinery factory at the rear of her property in Haven - south of Horsham in Victoria's west.

After emailing photos to friends and searching the internet, Mrs Evans was sure Harry had brought home either dynamite or gelignite.

Police were called in and photos sent to the bomb squad.

"The officers asked that no one got within 10m of it," Mrs Evans said.

After a tense wait the explosive was revealed to be a large fire cracker.

The cracker has been put in a mechanic's pit in the family's factory until they can work out how to get rid of it.

The "Interesting" bit is " Mrs Evans put the explosive aside and took the kids to school before returning to investigate."

 

Talk about laid back......

 

That's it: I'm orf to upgrade the desktop computer

 

And today's thought:

Now that I have my pension and a job we can afford to get married.

 

Angus