Showing posts with label loo rolls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loo rolls. Show all posts

Friday, 28 August 2009

Sexy Sweets, Spanish Tomato Tornado, Teenage Turnoff, Cuban paper Crisis and Gord’s gaffe

Overslept this morning and I feel as if I have been run over by a truck, the brain cell keeps switching off and the RFBC (Rat Faced Bat Cat) has been screaming since 7.00am, but the weather is nice.

And just to make life easier, you can see the weather for my bit of 'Ampshire in the lefthand sidebar at the top.

First up:

A sweet firm has come under fire for having characters on their wrapper who look like they are having sex.

Maoam sweets use illustrations of lemons, limes and cherries looking like they are getting fruity.
Now, parent Simon Simpkins of Pontefract, West Yorkshire has complained to the firm after he bought the sweets for his children.

He told The Sun: "The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face.

"I demanded to see the shop manager and, during a heated exchange, my wife became quite distressed and had to sit down in the car park."

Haribo who make the sweets said the "fun" packaging was introduced in Germany in 2002.

They added: "The jovial Maoam man is very popular with fans, both young and old."

Simple answer Simon DONT BUY THE F*****G THINGS!

40,000 “people” turned up in Bunol, 25 miles north of Valencia for the annual Tomato fight to pelt each other with 100 tons of the red fruit in the yearly food fight known as the "Tomatina," now in its 64th year.

Leaving the town filled with well, tomato puree.

I have no problem with people having fun, but have you seen the price of tomatoes in Tesco.

Youth club organisers have found a new weapon to drive out teenagers who overstay their welcome – songs from The Sound of Music.

Staff at the Hilton Community Centre in Inverness took to playing numbers from the musical after some youngsters became reluctant to leave at the end of the weekly youth club.

They have found that by playing songs from the 1960s Julie Andrews hit, such as My Favourite Things and Do-Re-Mi, the youths have been far more willing to leave at the 10pm closing time.

Classical music has also been deployed, including The Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner, and nursery rhymes are being kept in storage for use if necessary.

John Finnie, SNP councillor for Inverness, said the fact teenagers were unwilling to leave was a tribute to the success of the club, which regularly caters for around 80 people.

He said: "It is certainly a credit to the good folk who run the club that they had to introduce this."It is all very light-hearted, but it's also having the desired effect – the young people are not hanging about for any encores."

The musicals seem to be enough for most of them, although there are nursery rhymes waiting to be deployed just in case

Is this a new way of getting the lazy little shits out of bed, or away from the front of your house?

Or will some do-gooder will say it is a breach of their human rights.

A while ago I posted about the shortage of toilet paper in Cuba, I would put in a link but I can’t be bothered.

Anyway it seems that the problem is being addressed by “retirees” who buy up the surplus newspapers and re selling them as an alternative.

The Havana retiree said he and other seniors line up before dawn to buy surplus newspapers from distribution points for factories and offices that have closed for economic reasons and shortages of electricity and raw materials, The Miami Herald reported Thursday.

The man, who requested anonymity to prevent trouble with authorities, said the seniors buy the newspapers, including the Communist party's Granma, for 20 Cuban cents -- about .007 U.S.

They then resell them to neighbours for up to 20 Cuban pesos, about 71 U.S. cents, for use as toilet paper.

Cuban officials were quoted by the official Radio Rebelde as saying the government plans to import a lot of toilet paper by the end of the year to ease the shortage

Couple of comments.

Best use I can see for newspapers, and shouldn’t that be “ease the blockage”

And finally:

Gordon Brown is facing a backbench rebellion over proposals to cut the benefits of some of the poorest families, it is reported.

Treasury plans to pare back the housing allowance by up to £15 a week will mean some claimants could lose a fifth of their income, The Times reported.

Currently, half of those receiving the housing allowance - about 300,000 people - are helped by a policy that allows them to keep up to £780 a year if they find accommodation that costs less than the maximum benefit.

But from April 1 they will no longer be able to pocket the leftover cash, in a move aimed at saving an estimated £160 million, the newspaper said.

The plan has sparked anger among Labour backbenchers, including Frank Field, the MP who led the revolt against the abolition of the 10p income tax rate.

The backbenchers are concerned that scrapping the policy would destroy competition among landlords, enabling them to raise rents to the allowance maximum.

Mr Field, who is tabling an amendment to oppose the change, told The Times: "At one stroke, they get rid of a reform aimed at getting flexibility into a fairly inflexible market by giving people incentives to shop around.

"The timing for this could have been decided in Conservative headquarters."

Homelessness charity Crisis said people on £65-a-week jobseeker's allowance could lose 20% of their income under the proposals.

The charity's chief executive Leslie Morphy said: "This proposal is ill considered and potentially counterproductive. It beggars belief that the Government intends to introduce this when, by its own admission, it has no idea what the impact on claimants will be. We urge the Government to reconsider."

I should be surprised by yet another 180 by Gord’s Gang but I’m not, is that cynicism or apathy?

I’m off to go and sit by the river.




Angus Dei politico

Sunday, 9 August 2009

The Sunday Section

Red lorry yellow lorry, I wish, Mouse kebab, Belt up and Cuban Loo Rolls

I haven’t mentioned the ashes because I didn’t want to put a jinx on, but it didn’t matter: we are crap. The Aussies are better bowlers, batsmen and fielders, it seems the loss of one man (Andrew Flintoff) and the injury of another (Matt Prior) has reduced the England squad to less than schoolboy competence.

So what’s new?

Anyway: First up:

A police officer jumped into a moving lorry and slammed on the brakes after the driver suffered a suspected stroke. Police were alerted to the lorry swerving across the road.
Officers tried to stop the lorry, which was being driven erratically on the northbound carriageway of the A12 near Mountnessing, Essex. The driver failed to respond to the flashing lights and sirens and police realised he had fallen ill at the wheel.

The lorry drove off the A12 at junction 16 near Galleywood, before swinging around the roundabout and making its way back down the slip road to join the A12.

Sergeant Stewart Gason, of Essex Police, gave chase, running alongside the lorry until he was level with the cab.

He managed to jump inside and slam on the brakes just before the lorry rejoined the carriageway.

Surprise that, as Police don’t do jumping in water, patrolling the streets (not in my neighbourhood anyway), or noise, I wonder if he broke the health and safety laws.

Californian drivers are in shock, the price of Gas (petrol) has spiraled out of control to $3 (£1.77) per gallon, rising as much as 26 cents in the past two weeks at some South Bay stations. To the befuddlement of many motorists, some energy experts say the price hikes will keep coming.

"I think you'll see prices peak at about $3.25 in a couple of weeks," said Bob van der Vlk, a fuel-pricing analyst in Lynnwood, Wash. "Then they may start to level off by Labor Day."

A gallon of gas cost $3.04 in San Jose on average Saturday, up 13 cents in the past week. That's a penny more than the state average of $3.03 and a lot higher than the U.S. average of $2.64.

Prices have climbed every day since July 22 as crude oil has risen $10 a barrel in the past month, topping out at $72 a barrel last week.

"What's the deal?" asked Ted Wada of Watsonville. "Our Chevron station on North Main Street has gone up 26 cents in less than two weeks. Are we starting the Labor Day rush already?"

Partly, but there's more going on. The feeling that the recession may have bottomed out in the U.S. and positive economic news out of China have oil buyers believing demand will increase.

As I said-“if Only”

Cooked, salted or dried, field mice strung on sticks are sold as a popular delicacy in Malawi markets and roadside stalls.

The mice are hunted in corn fields after the harvest when they have grown plump on a diet of grains, fruits, grass and the odd insect. The most widely eaten species is known locally as Kapuku, gray in colour and with a shorter tail than the more common rat.

Young boys have to be quick as they chase the mice through the fields and catch them. But local villagers have also come up with an innovative trap.

One method involves digging holes and putting clay pots filled with water into them. The mouth of the pot is smeared with fried corn husks. As some of the mice fight for the husks, they fall into the pot and drown.

Malawi, with a population of 12 million, is among the poorest countries in the world, with rampant disease and hunger, aggravated by periodic droughts and crop failure.

Tasty, but wouldn’t it be easier to make food from the crops?

EASTPOINTE, Mich. (AP) - Authorities said a purse snatching suspect being chased by police near Detroit got his right leg tangled in his car's seat belt when he tried to bail out and ended up being dragged several hundred feet. Police told the Detroit Free Press and The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens that 45-year-old man Lawrence Neal of Detroit was dragged Thursday night and broke his leg before the car stopped on a front lawn.

During the chase, police said Neal used turn signals. And Detective Lt. Leo Borowsky said he was "captured by his own seat belt."

Neal was being held at the Macomb County Jail. He was charged with unarmed robbery, fleeing and eluding and resisting and obstructing police.

Police said he requested a court-appointed attorney.


And finally:

Cuba, which is in the grip of a serious economic crisis, is running short of toilet paper and may not get sufficient supplies until the end of the year, officials with state-run companies said on Friday.

Officials said they were lowering the prices of 24 basic goods to help Cubans get through the difficulties provoked in part by the global financial crisis and three destructive hurricanes that struck the island last year.

Cuba's financial reserves have been depleted by increased spending for imports and reduced export income, which has forced the communist-led government to take extraordinary measures to keep the economy afloat.

"The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," an official with state conglomerate Cimex said on state-run Radio Rebelde.

The shipment will enable the state-run company "to supply this demand that today is presenting problems," he said.

Cuba both imports toilet paper and produces its own, but does not currently have enough raw materials to make it, he said.

So if you have any spare/used loo roll send it to Raul Castro, C/O Presidential palace, Cuba, after all we can’t have communists going around with skid marks can we.