Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Twenty two down......., Wilco and out, snorkelling Numpty, Ebay nasties and Banana sex

It has finally stopped tipping down in ‘Ampshire, we had 60mm of rain yesterday and the garden looks like it has been steamrollered. I blame it on my neighbour who washed his car, the reason he gave was that it was covered with monkey footprints (from Longleat). Yeah right.

James over at nourishing obscurity left a comment yesterday saying that there was no text between pictures for the last couple of days, being a bit dim I presumed he meant that there were gaps between the pictures and the text, which sometimes happens, especially with bitmaps because it is difficult to see the top edge and if I try to narrow the gap I can delete the pic which is really annoying if it is not the first one. My apologies to James.

Anyone else had problems viewing the posts? Let me know.

First up:

A 107-year-old Malaysian woman is looking for her 23rd husband - because she fears her marriage is on the rocks.

Wook Kundor married a man 70 years her junior four years ago, reports the BBC.

But now she fears her husband will not return home after completing treatment for drug addiction in Kuala Lumpur.

She told reporters she felt "lonely" without her husband, ahead of the Muslim feast at the end of Ramadan.

Wook Kundor, of Kuala Terengganu state, plans to visit her husband, Muhammad Noor Che Musa, if her neighbours would drive her to the capital.

She said she would re-consider her plans if the 37-year-old told her he still had feelings for her.
Speaking to The Star newspaper in Malaysia she said: "Lately, there is this kind of insecurity in me.

"I realise I am an aged woman... My intention to re-marry is to fill my forlornness, and nothing more than that."

Her husband, who used to be her lodger, had previously said it was "God's will" that he fell in love with her.

Well she must have something going for her, even if it is all wrinkly.

From NZ:

A New Zealand dog had a lucky escape after taking its owner's Ute for a drive and crashing into a cafe.

It seems Wilco, a Staffordshire-ridgeback cross, got tired of waiting for his owner, who had ducked into a shop in the South Island town of Cromwell.

Wilco pushed the gear stick into drive and the vehicle rolled about 15 metres before crashing into the Fusee Rouge Cafe.

Cafe owner Jacynda Wallace said it was a big shock.

"The dog was in the truck and the man was on the phone ringing his insurance company," she said.

"Everyone is talking about it. Lots of people from Auckland are talking about it and TV One, TV3 have rung me."

Ms Wallace says the front doors of her cafe will have to be replaced but she might name a sandwich after Wilco.

Never mind that they should take his license away.

Greg Robertson, 25, was spear fishing off the coast near Brisbane with his girlfriend when a wave knocked the gun out of his hands.

As he rushed over rocks to retrieve it another wave pushed Mr Robertson onto the weapon, which fired into his thigh, just missing his genitals.

His friend Casey Jensen rushed to his aid and unscrewed the spear from the gun but was unable to pull the barbed point out of his leg, reports.

The spear was lodged a few centimeters into the man's pelvic area, with a 10cm section still sticking out. Rescuers said it was "a pretty gory sight".

"We joked about it: we told them not to spear themselves and mistake themselves for a fish and then it actually happened," he said.

A Brisbane man on holiday in the area saw the incident occur and called the emergency services.
"He seemed to be ok, but he was in shock — he was very close to being in real trouble," he said.
A rescue helicopter winched Mr Robertson to safety in front of hundreds of onlookers and he had surgery to remove the spear last night.

Spear fishing is a popular activity in Australia. Snorkelers equipped with spearguns are allowed to hunt and collect certain types of fish and crustaceans off the coast.

Nearly a no nuts Numpty.

EBay are not renowned for keeping an eye on the items on their site, and here are ten of the oddest lots, click the link above the pic for full descriptions and pictures.

1. A dead fairy
2. A dismembered female Halloween prop
3. A petrified frog (not scared but turned to stone)
4. A silicon rubber tapeless foreskin tugger
5. A pint of sundried California bees
6. A chocolate chip cookie with a face in it
7. Medicinal nipple hair
8. A mutant cucumber
9. Yelling service
10. An Imac computer cage for hamsters

Whatever floats your boat I suppose.

And finally:

Police in Papua New Guinea police are hunting the leader of a sex cult who promised villagers a bumper banana harvest if they had sex in public.

The man and his followers fled naked into the wilderness when police tried to arrest them at the weekend, the Post Courier newspaper reported.

It said the villagers in Morobe province, about 120 miles north of the capital Port Moresby, had been promised their banana harvest would increase 10-fold every time they had sex in public.

It said the cult leader was wanted for a range of alleged offences over the past four months, including threatening people and illegal sexual activity.

Inspector Adam Busil said officers had surrounded the man's hut early on Saturday but he refused to come out. The suspect then made a dash for freedom with about seven naked followers.

"He used his two wives as a human shield to avoid being shot at by the policemen," he said.
"They were called on to surrender but they refused."

He said extra officers were being called in to track down the members of the group.

There’s one born every minute, or in this case quite a lot.


Saturday, 14 March 2009


From Yahoo! News UK Ryanair passengers were shocked last month when Michael O'Leary threatened to "put a coin-slot on the toilet doors so that people might have to actually spend a pound to spend a penny, but all is OK, Ryanair spokesman for Germany, Anja Seugling, told the Ostthueringer Zeitung daily, "it was all just a gag," adding that O'Leary was probably just thinking out loud.

Oh only a joke; and I thought he was just taking the piss; and anyway he wouldn’t be able to fit it on the plane (see above)

Don’t try this at home: if you want to see tomorrow.

For sale: nagging wife, very high maintenance A British man fed up with his wife's complaints advertised her for sale -- and got a number of offers:

“Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT. Very high maintenance -- some rust," wrote Gary Bates, 38, in a small ad in Trade-It, more usually used to buy and sell cars or household goods.”

Bates, a self-employed builder from Gloucestershire, southwest England, snapped after his wife Donna on got on his nerves while she was watching television and decided to place the ad as a joke.

"She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I'd put an ad in to get rid of her.

"I didn't think anyone would ring up but I've had at least nine or 10 people calling about her. It's gone mad. There was no one I knew -- just people asking, 'Is she still available?'"

The couple only married last year.

Any bets on the second anniversary?

You vill pay.

AnanovaA German mathematician who died 450 years ago has been sent a letter demanding that he pay for a TV licence.

Germany's GEZ sent the bill to the last home address of algebra expert Adam Ries, who bought the property in 1525.

"We received a letter saying 'To Mr Adam Ries' on it, with the request to pay his television and radio fees," said Annegret Muench, who now heads a club honouring the mathematician, which uses the house as its HQ.

Miss Muench returned the letter to the GEZ with a note explaining the request had come too late, as Ries had died in 1559. But she still received a reminder a few weeks later

Don’t forget-you’re on the database.

A nice cup of tea.

Ananova A psychologist says tea and coffee really do taste better from your favourite cup or mug.

Dr Tom Stafford, of Sheffield University, says our brains are trained to believe the daily ritual of making coffee or tea should be done in a certain way.

"Drinking tea and coffee is very ritualistic and people become very addictive to the way they want their brew made," he told the Daily Telegraph.

"Caffeine is very much a drug of reward and like any addict, people develop passions on how the drug is delivered. Wherever there is drug use then rituals will always develop

According to research, 65% of Brits have a favourite cup or mug.

I knew it!

This is my contribution to the “chocolate” tax debate.

Ananova A Devon woman who eats 30 bars of chocolate a week has just celebrated her 100th birthday.

Peggy Griffiths, of Abbotsham, has scoffed an estimated 70,000 Cadbury's Dairy Milk bars in her time.

Her lifetime chocolate consumption has been estimated at an incredible four tonnes, reports The Sun.

Peggy said: "When I was young I could buy a bar of chocolate with my pocket money. It only cost tuppence and tasted exactly like it does now."

Her daughter Eileen Osborne, 69, said she ran a sweet shop in the 1930s but it went bust because she ate all the profits.

Eileen said: "When mum was a little girl, her mother told her that sweets were bad for you but chocolate was good.

"She absolutely loves it. She's a chocoholic and her diet agrees with her."


Ananova A parrot has caused chaos at a football match.

The parrot, Me-Tu was accompanying owner Irene Kerrigan to a game between Hertfordshire Rangers and Hatfield Town.

Ref Gary Bailey, 45, told the Daily Mirror: "I've never known anything like it. This woman was standing right by the touchline and suddenly unveiled this big green parrot.

"Every time I blew my whistle the bird made exactly the same sound.

"The players all stopped so I had to ask her to move the parrot."

He added: "I've never sent off a parrot before."

Apart from his whistling, Me-Tu also shouted "pretty boy" at the players from his cage on the sidelines.

Good job it didn’t know the “ref is f……..”

Oh yes we did

Baseball 'invented in Britain' Local historians in Surrey have confirmed that baseball was played in the UK more than 20 years before American independence.

A diary that documents a game being played in Guildford in 1755 has been verified by Surrey History Centre.

William Bray, a Surrey diarist and historian from Shere, wrote about the game when he was still a teenager.

Julian Pooley, Surrey History Centre manager and William Bray expert, said the diary showed the game was a well-established sport in the 18th Century and was played by men and women.

Mr Pooley said: "He kept lots and lots of diaries that we have in the Surrey History Centre but last year a new one was discovered in a garden shed and it contains his diary from 1754 to 1755.

"It contains a reference to him playing baseball. What intrigued me is he is playing it with a load of young ladies."

Rounders anyone?

That’s yer lot.

“I married beneath me; all women do. Nancy Astor


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico