Showing posts with label new year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new year. Show all posts

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Sod orf Twenty Eleventy two

Oodles of skywater, even more lack of warm, more than enough atmospheric movement and not a glimmer of solar stuff at the Castle this last day of 2013.


Not been a good year for poor old Angus, bits have dropped orf, clogged up and gone tits up, Grimly Dark Orspital  got in touch yestermorn to tell me that I will have to go in to have the arteries reamed next Tuesday instead of Wednesday because "there is a big case coming in" which will apparently take all day in the short stay surgery thingy.

Makes you feel important and cared for-not.


But it has been an even worse year for some people-Michael Schumacher is apparently at death's door after falling orf a couple of flat sticks orf the piste.


The old fella dahn in Sarf Africa finally shuffled orf this mortal coil after a very bad year and to show their love and respect his body was dragged up and dahn the country to be put on show like an exhibit in a freak show for days on end by the "management".


Others who popped orf include-Peter O'Toole, Frank Thornton (who is now finally free), Lou Reed and of course Maggie (I fucked up the country more than anyone else) Thatcher, Mikhail (my product has killed many, many people) Kalashnikov, Ronnie (good riddance) Biggs, and loads of others who I can't be bovvered to mention.


But there is some "good" news:


Ex Nazi El Papa Benedict XVI took the easy way out and "retired" instead of  doing the right thing and expiring, and is now living in luxury in the Vatican probably surrounded by young boys and jack boots.


And despite the best efforts of Dickhead Dave and No Nuts Nick the economy has steadied, mainly due to the Private sector, which would have happened anyway regardless of the Piss Poor Millionaires Club Coalition attempts to equal Thatcher.

Who gives a shit......

Have apparently been paid oodles of loot to switch off their turbines while storms lashed the UK over the festive period and tens of thousands of homes were left without power, according to figures published today.

No change there then..... 

But enough of all this doom and gloom, let's look forward to 2014, may it be better in all ways than this one, may all your dreams be fulfilled, may your bank balance equal that of the members of the sideboard and may your standard of living rise beyond your wildest hopes.

 And if you believe that........


And today's thought: 


Yeah right.......
The next post will be an old Farts first hand view of the National Elf service...


Monday, 31 December 2012

Twenty Twelve Twats (and other cupid stunts)

Many, many droplets of skywater, even more lack of warm, less atmospheric movement and still not a whatsit of solar stuff at the Castle this morn.
As Twenty Eleven plus one ignobly sinks into the mire of history it is once again time to have a look at those who have managed to make it even worse.


First up has to be the entire Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition who have mismanaged the economy, the NHS, the police people, benefits, immigration, tax cuts for the rich, standards of living for the rest of us, bankers, welfare and my fucking pension.
And especially shit for brains U-Turn Cam who reckons that Blighty is travelling in the opposite direction to the left.

I won't even feature that other bloke whatever his name is because no one really gives a an old nags vag.


Then there are the “Royal” leeches; in particular “Prince” Henry who got his kit orf  in a hotel room with a couple of his mates and a non-male or two with a camera phone.


And his sister in law the Duckess of Cambridge who showed her upper wobbly bits to someone with a long lens as she cavorted on ‘Oliday with some tall, bald bloke.


Not forgetting the man on the bike Andrew Mitchell who took so long to resign over the “plebgate” thingy that the “establishment” had a couple of months to decide that the un-doctored silent CCTV footage showed he was entirely innocent of anything and that the “law” was stitching him up.


Dopey Dorries who went Dahn Unda to the Jungle and sadly came back again


The “global warming” pundits who seem to think we are as stupid as they are so that the price of gas, leccy, petrol and diesel can be raised to such heights that it brings tears to your wallets.


And the phone hackers who used peoples lack of common sense to access their voice mail to sell newspapers (which some of us bought), and in particular Rebekah Brooks who is £10.8 million better orf for not being sacked and didn’t have a conversation with the Prime Monster and the old Aussie bloke about BSkyB at a party.


The Ed-Milli band by turning into a very bad copy of a Tory whist telling us that we are all “one nation” and whose nasal style of vocals has managed to get right up one’s hooter

The rest of the Royal dysfunctional family, who spent the year being entertained, fed, housed, clothed and rowed about by the rest of us as we watched while our lives disappeared dahn the imperial bog in a royal flush.

And finally:

Alien reptile in disguise and son of a......Baronet George (nobody loves me) Osborne who apart from fucking up Blighty’s fiscal stability also managed to get booed as he took advantage of his free ticket (paid for by us) to the big sporty event up in the Smoke.



And this last day of 2012’s thought:
Roll on 2013.

 Happy New Year! 


Sunday, 1 January 2012

Non white and non Christian Blighty: The middle aged old boys’ club: The million dollar Numpty: Taxi!: Blackpool bubbles: Buggy bread: and the PC crossing.

‘Tis warmish, wettish and not a jot wobbly at the Castle this first day of twenty eleven plus one, the study is bulging with busted ex adding machines and his Maj has discovered the joy of  stealing one of my slippers and hiding it whilst I am in the land of nod. 

I would like to wish all visitors, commenter’s and blogosphere friends a very, very happy and prosperous new 2012.........well you never know.

There is allegedly a bit of a hoo hah at the Al-Maktoum College of Higher Education in Dundee, Professor Malory Nye, 47, claims he was dismissed from his job because its hierarchy viewed his race and religion as a threat to its Muslim values.

His wife Isabel Campbell-Nye, 42, alleges she was also forced out of her position as head of the college’s English language centre because she brought in too many students who were not Muslims or Arabs.

Or in other words white and Christian.

The independent college, which operates as a charity in partnership with the University of Aberdeen, advertises in its prospectus that “multiculturalism is at the centre of our vision and structure”.

According to a “spokesperson” “The Al-Maktoum College will vigorously defend its reputation as a centre of excellence within the higher education sector and the good name it has won over the last ten years here in Dundee, nationally and internationally.”

“Professor Nye was dismissed from his post as Principal at the College following a period of suspension on full pay and an inquiry conducted by the College Chancellor.”

Which way is East?


By dishing out special privileges to 'his friends in the City' following the news that Mr Ruddock is to be knighted.
Shadow Cabinet Office minister Michael Dugher accused the Prime Monster of going back on his promise to 'clean up politics'.
Mr Ruddock is known for using a tactic described as 'short-selling' in the wake of Northern Rock's share price crash, after which it had to be saved by the taxpayer.
This involves allowing the price of stock to plummet before buying it back at a rock-bottom price.
Mr Ruddock's donations to the Conservatives – which total almost £500,000 – date back to 2001.
He has been handed a knighthood for services to the arts and philanthropy, on the back of his roles as chairman of the Victoria and Albert Museum in London and as a trustee of New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art.
 Meanwhile a Cabinet Office spokesman defended the decision to award Mr Ronson with the honour.
'If someone has served their time and gone on to do wonderful works, I don't think that prevents someone from receiving an honour,' he said.
Mr Ronson is also known for bringing self-service petrol stations to the UK and building the Heron Tower, the City of London's tallest structure.

Oh well; that’s alright then.......

A Lexington man is accused trying to use a fake $1 million bill to pay for his purchases at a Wal-Mart.
Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, of 3 Parker St., walked into the Wal-Mart on Lowes Boulevard in Lexington on Nov. 17. He shopped for a while, picking up a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totalling $476, an arrest warrant says.
When he got to the register, Fuller gave the cashier the phony bill, saying that it was real.
Store staff called police.
Fuller was later charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretence and uttering a forged instrument, both felonies, court records show.
The largest note ever printed was the $100,000 bill, which featured President Woodrow Wilson. The bills, which were not available to the public, were printed from Dec. 18, 1934, through Jan. 9, 1935, and were used for transactions between Federal Reserve banks.
Fuller was being held Friday night in the Davidson County Jail with bond set at $17,500. He is scheduled to appear in court Tuesday.

Sod it, does that mean my stack of sixty two pound notes is a bit dodgy then....

To the posh bit of the Smoke, a minicab complete with “driver” managed to lurch down a slope and land on top of a parked car in Hampstead, North London. No one was hurt.

Karel Asiyo, who owns the VW, said: “I normally park on the other side of the road – I wish I had this time.”

Still; at least she has a taxi to get about in while the insurance is sorted out....

Blackpool residents have been left baffled by a mysterious foamy substance which has blown in from the sea, carpeting a number of roads.
The foam is piled several feet high in areas closest to the sea, making driving conditions particularly treacherous.
Locals have expressed worries that the phenomenon is caused by polluting detergents, and said it is forcing people to stay at home.
But environmental experts have allayed their fears and suggested the foam could be the result of waves churning decomposing algal matter.
An Environment Agency spokesperson said: 'We have taken samples of the foam as obviously if this is caused by any kind of polluting material, we need to know about it.
'Early samples are not showing any trace of detergent so we think it could be the combination of decomposing algal matter churned with the tide and the westerly wind which is causing the foam.
It is not the first time the area has been awash with the foam, which came in from the sea like a snow blizzard following recent winds of up to 90mph.
'We know it happens occasionally and can disappear again quite quickly so we will be looking further into what triggers it,' said the spokesperson.

Entomologist Skye Blackburn breeds edible bugs and sells them as novelty gifts.
The businesswoman puts crickets and mealworms into lollipops or covers them with chocolate as a 'tasty' treat.
"Eating insects is a fairly new concept," she told Sky News.
"It is a little bit unique and most people wouldn't expect to get a gift like this but they have been really popular this Christmas.
"We try to put the bugs in an edible form which people would recognise."
Ms Blackburn grinds up roasted mealworms and uses the flour-like powder to make other foodstuffs like banana bread and biscuits.
She said: "We kill them ethically; we freeze them which put them to sleep so they don't feel any kind of pain.
"We keep them in a very sterile environment feeding them organic grains and vegetables which increases the flavour of the bugs themselves.
The chewy creatures, which have a crunchy, biscuity taste, have proved so popular that Ms Blackburn says she is planning to expand her menu in the New Year.

She said: "We are adding water bugs, scorpions and even tarantulas."

Yum, yum........

To the county of sausages and a green colour, Lincolnshire County Council is rolling out new signs at pelican crossings in Boston, and walkers are being asked to wait for the green figure before they cross.
The authority says the signs are helping to keep the streets as safe as possible, but critics have questioned whether the change has been motivated by political correctness.
Alan Bell, senior engineer at the Lincolnshire Road Safety Partnership, said: "We need to do all we can to help keep people safe on the county's roads. These signs remind people to cross only when the green figure is lit."
He added that the wording of the signs varies across the county.
While some crossings retain the traditional green man, the crossing at John Adams way in Boston has been given a new sign asking residents to "Cross with the green figure".

Nice to see that the New Year is starting out just like the old one finished.

And today’s thought:


Thursday, 1 January 2009


And no, I am not being sarcastic, a new year, new site colours, and a new start (maybe).

It was very quiet here last night, not surprising really, unlike the rest of the world.

Just a quick rundown of some “interesting” news.

Resolutions- I never make them, and now there is proof that you shouldn’t- Resolutions 'bad for your health'.

Now I can be smug for a while.

Gordon Brown trousers is telling us that the New Year will be “tough”.

He is very quick isn’t he?

Russia is threatening to cut off gas supplies to the Ukraine, and would “do it’s best to guarantee supplies to Europe”.

So, if your heating goes off you know whom to blame.

Microsoft, my favourite software conpany (yes it is a deliberate miss-spelling), has cocked up-their software for the Zune, the IPOD look-alike.

Well, there’s a surprise!

Yet another Pillock has come up with a reason for the recession-It’s all our fault for being pessimistic!

On your bike Sir David Tang, and they say I live in another world.

Afghanistan yet another pointless death of a British soldier, He is the 137th British serviceman to die in Afghanistan since the start of operations in October 2001.


And finally, the Hypocrite of 2008 goes to Gordon Brown-Trousers for his statement-

Brown's new year message hails end of 'free market dogma', because he is the Tosser who decided that the “free market with no regulation” was the future.

I must get on now, I have a “new” laptop and apart from the “qwerty” bit all the other keys are in different places to my old one, and I keep pressing the wrong one and deleting things or shifting into caps. You would think they would come up with a standardised keyboard wouldn’t you?


Monday, 22 December 2008


This is the fourth Crimbo I will spend on my own; I’m not looking for sympathy, or invites.
“We” really used to enjoy the festive season, no thought of the homeless or the poor, or the old, or the lonely.
Since “Mrs Angus” passed, my outlook has changed, I look on Christmas as something to get past, and over with, but I do think about the above more. Christmas to me now is a time of reflection and pondering, a time to look at the past year and add the good and the bad bits to either side of the “scales of life”.
The past three have come down heavily on” the Bad side, this year I think they may well be balanced, I have discovered the joy of Blogging, made quite a few “online” friends, and learned a lot.
I have tried to change a bit, to be less “abrasive” and more considerate in my writing, some of you may have noticed.
But deep down the “old” Angus is the one which will win, I don’t “think” too much when I write (and it shows), I call it my auto-pilot, and when I do think I get bogged down for words and unsure of the direction to take in my mindless wanderings.
I don’t tend to go into too much detail, because I find it boring to read pages and pages of stats, or quotes, and I like to think that others do as well.
So I like to “Tease” readers with a small amount of facts and then supply a link, so that they can find out for themselves what the hell I am rambling on about, because you learn much more from finding out for yourself.
I enjoy making comments on articles, and try to make people smile because then they will remember me and revisit the blog (shameless self-advertising), but that is what I do.
I love writing for NHS Exposed, the “team” are great and really supportive, and I enjoy letting loose the “Dogs of War” on the Powers That Be.
I will spend this year at home in my dark, cold garret, and will have Crimbo dinner with my Neighbours, who are the best you could have. After dinner I will stretch out on the couch and watch the TV, with my cat on my lap (there's nothing nicer than stroking a pussy in your lap), and probably fall asleep, not much different to anyone else really.
Next year I will carry on, I will continue to write and comment on things that I feel need to be brought to the attention, of others. And I think that the abrasive, gobby, patronising arrogant “Angus” will re-emerge, I hope so because I really like him.

I haven't quite got ot the point where I enjoy Christmas again yet, but you never know.

As to Crimbo-I hope you have a wonderful time, over eat, don't drink too much, and enjoy, because life can be far too short, and you don’t get a second chance.

This is my last post for a few days but,I shall be back on the 27th.

Thank you for reading the blog, and putting up with my ramblings. And I also hope that next year will be peaceful, prosperous and kind to you.