Showing posts with label nice baps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nice baps. Show all posts

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Clegg on Social Mobility: Piss Poor Policies Dave C on Starey eyes Ball: Harrow-Boys: A puff too far: Cheap clothes: and “aircraft skin fatigue”.

Almost sunny again at the Castle this morn, nice and calm with a bit of non-darkness and the threat of a bit of warm stuff later, the kitchen is overflowing with dismantled computers and only another few days on the antibiotics- life is fun………

A growing number of export orders for fish from Japan are being cancelled by overseas buyers because of fears it could contain potentially dangerous radioactive traces.
Japanese seafood has been dropped from the menu at a string of high- end international establishments, including Zuma and Roka restaurants in London as well as at Shangri-La, the luxury hotel group.
The Japanese government has assured food safety levels of fish exports but this is failing to prevent companies from cancelling, according to Hiromi Isa, a trade office director at Japan's Fisheries Agency.
He added "Our test results showed no fish were contaminated by higher-than- acceptable levels of radioactivity."

Acceptable to whom?

NATO warplanes killed around 14 rebels early on Saturday after a stream of anti-aircraft fire was shot in to the night sky.
The victims included medics and a patient in an ambulance, struck near the Libyan front line between rebel and pro-Gaddafi forces east of Brega.
The air strike was the first major friendly fire incident of the chaotic desert war since western aeroplanes joined the fight two weeks ago.

Does that mean that NATO planes have to shoot down other NATO planes for killing civilians?

Nick Clegg is ready to use shock and awe to force social change, as a curtain-raiser, it was disclosed last week that the Government is to publish an annual “report card” on seven key indicators, ranging from babies’ body weight and the skills learned by five-year-olds to GCSE results and adult earnings. These, Clegg insists, will not be targets but “a series of dials”, a dashboard used to check on the nation’s social well being and to “trigger a reaction” when things go wrong.

You can read the rest by clicking on the link above if you have several hours to waste, but I phased out after the first three paragraphs, and to be honest I don’t give a Kangaroo’s cock.

Has branded Starey eyes Ed Balls “the most annoying person in politics” in a spontaneous outburst of annoyance during prime minister's questions, Mr Cameron interrupted his response to an MP so he could chastise Mr Balls for talking over him.
"I wish the shadow chancellor would occasionally shut up and listen to the answer," he said.
The Tory backbenches hooted with laugher, while Mr Balls smiled and reached across the despatch box to offer Mr Cameron a glass of water.
"I may be alone in finding him the most annoying person in modern politics," Mr Cameron continued.
"I've got a feeling the leader of the opposition will one day agree with me."

Doubt it: the most annoying person in politics to me is any one of the 650 money grabbing, useless, gutless pillocks who get paid just for turning up at the Palace of Westminster.

Topless photographs of an art tutor at the £30,000-a-year private school have been circulating its classrooms, dorms and corridors.
Joanne Salley, 32, a former model and TV presenter, posed provocatively in just a tight pair of jeans.

The pictures were captured by a fellow teacher at the school, professional photographer Fiona Corthine, as first reported by the Daily Mail’s Richard Kay.
They are believed to have been taken on school grounds – in its art rooms.
The pictures were discovered by a pupil in the school’s photography laboratory – where they had been left on a memory stick.

They have been seen by the majority of the school’s 825 male pupils, its teachers and even its kitchen staff.

Pupils who forwarded these pictures to the Mail did so after censoring them with modesty boxes.
The images have even made it as far as Miss Salley’s former school – Merchant Taylors’.
Pupils first started to receive the pictures – on their IPhones and BlackBerries – last weekend.
Harrow staff, noticing a stir, were made aware of the scandal on Tuesday. 
They have since demanded that all pupils delete the pictures.
Any pupil caught circulating them has been threatened with immediate suspension.

The advantage of private education-our art teacher was a hairy arsed six foot four rugby player who looked as if he had been head butting a wall for ten years.

A Dallas physician is accused of trying to run over someone he allegedly saw smoking near his car.
Police say 54-year-old Dr. Jeffrey Reed Thompson faces a felony charge of aggravated assault with a vehicle.
Friday’s incident began in a medical office parking garage.
The 48-year-old smoker, Donald Zuelly of Rowlett, told police that Thompson told him he couldn’t smoke in the garage, yanked the cigarette from his mouth, threw it down and stepped on it. Police say Zuelly told the doctor not to touch him and threw down a soft drink can. Some liquid splashed onto the doctor’s pants.
Zuelly says Thompson then hopped into his car and drove at him. Zuelly scraped his arm trying to flee.

See. Smoking is bad for you, especially if there are morons with big metal motorised things around.

Allegedly one in four people has taken clothes back to the shop after wearing them on a night out, according to a new poll.
Research for shopping website found that more than a quarter (28%) of 3,000 people questioned admitted returning items of clothing for a refund after wearing them.
More than one in 20 (7%) confessed to doing it on a regular basis.

Glad I don’t buy clothes anymore……

And finally:

Southwest Airlines has grounded 79 of its Boeing 737 aircraft for precautionary checks after one made an emergency landing with a gaping hole in the fuselage.
The US carrier said engineers would be “looking for the same type of aircraft skin fatigue” in checks over the next few days.
About 300 flights have been cancelled as a result of the inspections.
Southwest Flight 812 from Phoenix to Sacramento, California, with 118 passengers on board, landed safely at a military base in Arizona on Friday.
There were no passenger injuries reported, despite the sudden drop in cabin pressure.
The airline said one flight attendant was slightly injured.
The Boeing 737 landed at 4:07pm local time after declaring an emergency, said Ian Gregor, a Federal Aviation Administration spokesman. The plane touched down at Yuma Marine Corps Air Station with a hole in the top of the aircraft.
"We do not know the cause of the decompression," Mr Gregor said.
It may have something to do with then bleedin great hole in the roof mate.

And today’s thought: Given the capacity to be stupid . . . people will be.


Friday, 1 April 2011

Universal pension: April fool: An apple a day: Golden Numptys: Nice Baps: and Sitting on a rich deposit.

Just a short-ish one this warm, damp morn, went to the dentist on Wednesday, had a tooth pulled (big one at the back of the top jaw), there was a lot of nasty stuff beneath it and I swallowed most of the content.
Spent the rest of Wednesday and yesterday stoned out on industrial strength antibiotics and painkillers, have just woken up and before the drugs kick in again here we go.
Apologies for not visiting or replying to comments too knackered to care……

Hundreds of people evacuated from towns and villages close to the stricken Fukushima nuclear plant are being turned away by medical institutions and emergency shelters as fears of radioactive contagion catch on.
Hospitals and temporary refuges are demanding that evacuees provide them with certificates confirming that they have not been exposed to radiation before they are admitted.

Nice to see they are “all in it together”.

Piss Poor Policies Dave C has told the House of Commons that Britain has not ruled out providing arms to rebels in Libya, but has not yet taken the decision to do so,
PPP Dave was asked at Prime Minister's Questions in the Commons whether Britain was considering supplying arms to the rebels, Mr Cameron said that United Nations resolutions ''would not necessarily rule out the provision of assistance to those protecting civilians in certain circumstances''.

Here we go again…..

Allegedly plans to reform the state pension will be unveiled next week - with a new flat-rate scheme to start in 2015 or 2016, the BBC understands.
The flat-rate pension could be worth at least £155 for new pensioners.
Detailed plans are expected to be published next week, outlining how the system would be introduced.

I won’t hold my breath.

Labour party members have been urged to celebrate the forthcoming wedding of Ed Miliband and Justine Thornton with street parties, trifles and bunting, according to a secret memo seen by The Daily Telegraph.
The email, which was sent to various Labour councillors, asks party members to mark in their diaries May 27th as a "red letter day", which should be enthusiastically celebrated.
The email sent from Flora Lopi, a Labour Party official, who is understood to be one of Mr Miliband's closest advisers, said: "As you will now all be aware, Britain will be celebrating an event even more important than the Royal wedding in London on April 29, namely, the civil ceremony uniting Ed and Justine, on May 27.

I don’t think I will be joining in.


A U.S. trucker was saved from choking to death on an apple by slamming into a median.
Richard Paylor, 55, blacked out and smashed his tractor-trailer into a concrete barrier in Reading, Penn., on Tuesday as he choked on a piece of fruit, police said.
The impact is believed to have dislodged the apple chunk from his throat.
"I guess I have to thank the wall," Paylor told the Reading Eagle.
Police recovered a chunk of apple on the dashboard.
Paylor, a 23-year truck-driving veteran, was taken to hospital with minor injuries

He should have done the lottery….

Store bosses created a gold-plated car to promote a new sales gimmick - and it was towed away by police.
The motor had been parked on the street to stop shoppers in Nanjing, Jiangsu province, eastern China, in their tracks.
But sharp-eyed police towed the gold vehicle away when they spotted it had been parked on a public road without a licence plate or road tax.
"The owners have 10 days to pay their fine. If they don't it will be sold or crushed," said a police spokesman.
Police were called when angry motorists complained that the streets around the store were blocked by cars and pedestrians trying to get close to the car.
"I just wanted to get close to touch all that gold," said one shopper.
"They were causing a public nuisance and had no permission for a public show. Then when an officer noticed the car was unlicensed, it had to go," added the police spokesman.

Gold plated Numptys.

Residents in a historic Bedfordshire village are up in arms about Nice Baps, a new bakery opened last week by John O'Toole.
A petition and letter of complaint about the 'trashy' establishment were given to dad of three John by Henlow's miffed locals.
'I tried to explain to them that I do small Baps and big Baps and they're nice and firm,' quipped the 42-year-old.
'Since I came to Henlow I think 90 per cent of the people think the shops great on the whole.'
According to John, it was his wife who came up with the name for the outlet: 'I've got another shop in Caddington called the same and I've had no complaints there.'
The aforementioned letter, written by a teacher from a local school, voiced her worry about the 'effect' the name Nice Baps could have on impressionable youngsters.
What a load of old doughnuts…I can’t see what the problem is……

And finally:

A geologist sitting on a bush toilet in a remote part of the Northern Territory has discovered a potentially lucrative mineral deposit.
Rum Jungle Resources chief executive David Muller said the company was already looking for phosphate on a site near Barrow Creek, north of Alice Springs, but it was not expecting to find anything of value where it had set up its camp toilet.
"One observant geologist was sitting on it one day and kicking the rocks around and he suddenly identified some nodules and he thought, 'Oh we better assay this'," he said.
"And they put the hand-held spectrometer over it and sure enough it was full of phosphate, which is what we were looking for - and we thought we were on sterile ground."
Mr Muller said the discovery of phosphate under the toilet encouraged the company about the size of the phosphate deposit.

Mind you all the hard brown “rocks” did confuse him a bit….

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look at gravity.

And today’s thought: If you have to choose between two evils . . . pick the one you've never tried before.