Showing posts with label old farts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old farts. Show all posts

Friday, 21 March 2014

Flotsam and some jet?: Budget bollocks: NHS complaints process bollocks: ATOS lies-again: Old fart pilot and the parachute: Crash test Roos: and Crash test failure:

Much lack of lack of cold, more than a whimsy of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of ex skywater and just a glimpse of dawn's crack at the Castle this morn.

Poor old Angus is doing OK, the diabetes thing is now back under control despite a toof ache-toof out-infection and antibiotics, and I spent most of the last more than seven days fettling the garden; extra bamboo screens, moved the stepping stones to accommodate the new extendable washing line, put up a new fence in the quiet corner, painted the fences (hint-DO NOT buy Homebase's own "light oak" fence stuff-it is orange when applied-even more orange with a second coat, I finally used B&Q's own stuff which is artistically called "brown"-covered in one coat), and did the first cut on the moss. I even washed the Honda...



The hunt for MH370 goes on, and on, and on, it seems that the latest "clue" is a blurry photo of something that looks like a giant upside dahn motor, but the mystery deepens as it turns out that A US technology company which had 20 senior staff on board Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 had just launched a new electronic warfare gadget for military radar systems in the days before the Boeing 777 went missing.


So a few hints as to where it may be:

Norf Korea's rear exit.


The Castle's moat.


How is it that "they" can listen to all our phone calls, see all our emails but can't find a bleedin great jet with an orange black box that is emitting beeps every few moments?



Apparently son of a B........aronet and alien reptile in disguise chancer of the exchequer George (I love pensioners) Osborne has done yet another Budget, which will allow the elder part of the population to snatch and squander their pension pots.

This will of course allow we old farts to buy "luxuries" such as gas and electricity, food and even some go juice for the motor as well as being able to buy more than one pint of beer and play bingo to excess.

And will of course "stimulate" the economy adding many squillions in tax to the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalitions' coffers.


Cheers George......



After many years and many deaths allegedly the Healthwatch England watchdog thingy has come to the conclusion that the complaints system for the NHS in England is "hopelessly complicated" and needs an overhaul.

Apparently Healthwatch England says more than 70 organisations are involved in dealing with complaints about the NHS and social care.

It wants the process to be simplified to ensure patients get more support.

Healthwatch England chairwoman, Anna Bradley, said: "It's no wonder the public are left confused and frustrated. With so many organisations involved it's difficult to know where to start, let alone having the strength and persistence to navigate the system on your own.


No shit...remember the photo, we will be watching....


Allegedly ATOS that wonderful French supplier of the infamous Fit to work assessments which went so well that they want to end the contract early has now managed to secure the contract for the PIP (personal independence payments) has been telling porkies to grab even more of our loot.

In its tender document, submitted to the Department of Work and Pensions, Atos suggested that more than 700 healthcare providers, including 56 NHS hospitals, had contractually agreed to provide accommodation where assessments for new Personal Independence Payments could take place. It claimed the “hyper-local” network would mean that no disabled claimant would have to travel more than 60 minutes to attend an assessment, with “over 90 per cent of claimants able to reach the centres in 30 minutes”.

But the Public Accounts Committee heard that, since the scheme was launched, over 40 per cent of all claimants have had to travel for more than an hour to reach an assessment centre, with only 40 per cent being able to reach a suitable location in less than 45 minutes.

Atos had in fact contracted fewer than 100 healthcare providers to provide accommodation – and a miscalculation by the DWP over how long each session would take meant that some severely disabled people were waiting longer than six months to be seen.

MPs accused Atos of “playing fast and loose with the truth” in the bid document – resulting in ministers misleading Parliament about how the scheme would work.

Personal Independence Payments began to replace Disability Living Allowance in April last year. Most people applying for PIP have a face-to-face assessment to determine eligibility, which is carried out by Atos Healthcare and Capita Business Services.

But a report from the National Audit Office found claimants were waiting an average of 107 days, and terminally ill patients 28 days, for a decision on their cases – much longer than had been predicted.

MPs told Lisa Coleman, senior vice-president of Atos, that they believed the firm had been misleading in its bid document.

“You only managed to work with a quarter of the trusts you named in the document,” the committee’s chair, Margaret Hodge, told her. “If there had been one or two falling out then I could have accepted your argument – but only a quarter?”

She then asked: “Is it usual to lie in the tender document, Ms Coleman?”

Ms Coleman told the committee that because the DWP had pushed back its plans for mandatory re-assessment of all DLA claimants until 2015 fewer sites were needed than had been suggested in the bid document. “We have had sufficient coverage,” she said. “If we had used all 750 sites they would [each] be doing about three assessments a week.”

Ms Coleman added: “What we talked about in the tender document was what we thought we could achieve. When you write a tender document you say this is the specification that I can deliver. This is what I am responsible for.”

She added: “We are not there yet. I am not going to sit here and say we are.”

An Atos spokeswoman subsequently said the company categorically denied making misleading claims in the tender document.


 Yeah right......


87-year-old pilot Shannon Trembley was practicing take orfs and landings at South Lakeland airport in Mulberry, Florida when he managed to crash into a parachutist who wasn't practicing landings but took orf again.

His Cessna got caught in Mr Frost’s strings and spun through 180 degrees before crashing into a landing field.

Onlookers pulled Mr Trembley out of the plane in case it caught fire.

Emergency services arrived soon afterwards and took the two men to hospital.

Mr Frost was later allowed home but doctors kept Mr Trembley in for observation.

The National Transportation Safety Board and Federal Aviation Administration are investigating.


Should have gorn to Specsavers...


Volvo has been testing its automatic braking system with crash test Kangaroos, apparently there are more than 20,000 kangaroo strikes on Australia’s roads every year?  In response to the rogue roo problem, Volvo is in the process of training it’s City Safe autonomous braking system to recognize kangaroos that enter into the path of the vehicle. The system  are responsible for -and automatically slam on the brakes if the driver does not.

The system was originally developed to detect pedestrians; later this year the same setup will enable selected Volvo cars to also detect cyclists.

A radar sensor in the grille scans the road 100 metres ahead and a camera in the windscreen works with the radar to detect which way the object is moving to help the computer decide what action to take, if any.

The system processes 15 images every second and can react to an emergency in half the time a human driver can, Volvo claims. With some kangaroos taller than six feet, the system may prevent considerable vehicle damage.


Didn't go too well on the last try..


Volvo claims it is working on a system that can recognize dogs and cats.


How can a motor know that his Maj is called His Maj?



And finally:



Right more than a lot of imperial yards Independent car safety body, Global NCAP, has found that a number of small cars on sale in India pose a very serious risk to their occupants in the event of a crash.

In the first-ever independent crash tests of some of India's most popular small cars, Global NCAP awarded entry-level models of the Volkswagen Polo, Ford Figo and previous-generation Hyundai i10 zero stars for adult protection. This is in stark contrast to the current European equivalents – the Ford Fiesta and Polo achieved a five-star rating in their Euro NCAP tests, while the old Hyundai i10 managed a respectable four.

India's best-selling car, the Suzuki-Maruti Alto 800, was also assessed, as was the Tata Nano. The five cars were afflicted by two major problems – namely a lack of structural integrity and an absence of airbags, meaning that too much energy is absorbed directly by the people in the cars in the event of a crash.

In the 40mph NCAP crash test, the Indian version of the i10 achieved a zero-star rating for adult protection, a one-star rating for child protection and was unable to meet the UN's minimum safety requirements in the 35mph crash test. Along with the Alto 800 and Nano, the i10 was also found to be structurally inadequate, collapsing onto occupants in a crash too easily.

The Ford Figo, which is based on the previous-generation Ford Fiesta platform, achieved zero stars for adult protection and a two-star rating for child protection. What's more, it only met the UN's minimum safety requirements in the 35mph crash test because the dummy's head in the driver seat narrowly avoided direct contact with the steering wheel.

Glad they are not sold in Blighty...

That's it: I'm orf to get a new app for the smart phone

And today's thought:

They seek it here, they seek it there


Friday, 29 March 2013

Unloading in Taiwan: Finnish pig in a poke: Cat-nav: Miserable old farts: and a very old hot cross bun.

Amazing amounts of lack of warm, not even a whimsy of atmospheric movement, nary a drop of skywater and Dawn’s crack has buggered orf to somewhere else at the Castle this morn, the elbow is still iffy, but I do have a “tennis elbow clamp” which is about as easy to put on as a posh accent and works as well as the NHS.



A Taiwanese lorry driver makes a delivery.

Elfandsafety would have a seizure if they knew......oh shit.....


Hotel Finn in the heart of Helsinki is seeking a "professional sleeper" for 35 days to test their rooms and write all about it.
Hotel manager Tio Tikka says he thought up the stunt to help promote the hotel after lengthy renovations.
Tikka said Wednesday that they were looking for a "dynamic person to write a quality blog" about their daily experiences at the basic hotel, which has no bar or restaurant.
Requirements: Fluent Finnish and English, Russian a plus. The job opens May 17 with applications closing end of April.
So far more that 600 would-be hotel sleepers have applied.
So I could stay in the nice warm Castle with food and drink or spend a month and a bit in one room without a menu or libation....hmmm, tough choice.


A cat owner has developed a tracking device which enables owners to map the exact whereabouts of their pet.
Dave Evans created the device, known as the ‘cat-nav’, as he wanted to know where his cat Yollo was travelling to and why he was gaining weight.
He is now marketing the product as G-Paws, and curious pet owners will be able to purchase the gadget for £50.
The device weighs just half an ounce and is attached to the pet’s collar. When the animal returns, owners can download information stored on the device to a website, where they will be able to see exactly what their pet has been up to via a series of Google Earth satellite images.
Evans is now working on developing a social networking site to work with G-Paws. He says it will enable users to see where their pets have been, share photos, videos and other information.

Think I would rather stay in ignorance and save the fifty quid.


Apparently low expectations about the future and a gloomy outlook could be the keys to a longer, healthier life, according to a surprising new study published by the American Psychological Association (APA).
In the study, older people, ages 65 to 96, who thought life would get worse had much better health outcomes and lived longer than those who anticipated better days ahead.
The researchers also point out that optimists may look at life through rose-colored glasses and ignore the truth about the health risks associated with aging, while the pessimists have a more realistic view of the threats ahead and thus may be more proactive about taking care of themselves.
For example, seniors who anticipate that their health is likely to decline may get more medical exams, exercise more, lose weight, avoid smoking, or eat a better diet to ward off disease, while those with a “don’t worry, be happy” outlook may not consider it necessary to take steps to protect themselves.
To find out how accurate the participants’ expectations about the future were, the researchers contacted the participants five years after the initial interview. They also tracked rates of death and disability during that time span, with the following results:
43 percent of the oldest group (the pessimists) had underestimated how satisfied they would be

25 percent predicted accurately

32 percent (the optimists) had overestimated their future satisfaction

The more overly optimistic the seniors were about the future, the higher their rates of disability and death were during the study period. Each increase in overestimating future life satisfaction was associated with a 9.5 percent rise in disabilities and 10 percent increased risk of death, the study found.

Looking on the bright side:

Researchers have linked not being a miserable old fart to these benefits:

Greater resistance to colds and other infections

Lower risk of death from heart disease- Duke researchers tracked 2,800 patients who had been hospitalized for heart disease. Patients were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their feelings about their diagnosis, treatment, and prospects for recovery. Ten years later, 46 percent of those with a bleak outlook had died, compared to 32 percent of those with the positive outlook.

Better emotional health

Superior athletic performance- A study by Martin Seligman found that optimistic sports teams were more successful than those who expected to lose.  

Greater career success- Another Duke study found that MBA students with an upbeat attitude received more job offers and were promoted faster than their gloomier counterparts.

So you can be a miserable, poor, knackered old git living to a hundred or a happy, rich, fulfilled old fart who is content with the three score and ten.

And finally:

A woman has the world's oldest hot cross bun - baked on Good Friday in 1821 and passed down through five generations.
Nancy Titman, 94, keeps the 192-year-old bun in a box and amazingly it still has a cross on the top and shows no traces of mould.

The fruity bun, which has even retained its smell, was made by Nancy's great, great, great grandfather William Skinner, who owned a bakery in London.

It was made in the same year as Napoleon died, George IV was crowned king, poet John Keats passed away and John Constable painted his famous Hay Wain picture.

"It is rock hard like a fossil and the currants have disintegrated, but it still smells and looks like a hot cross bun, with the cross on the top."

Nancy was given the bun, which has the date March 1821 on the base, by her mum and she plans to hand it down to her own daughter Anthea and her 10-year-old granddaughter Hannah.

"My mum said our ancestors worked in a baker's shop and they believed buns baked on Good Friday didn't go mouldy, which this has proved," added Nancy, from Deeping St James, Lincs.

"It's a relic which has been passed down through our family and we get it out every Good Friday," said Nancy.

I get mine out every Good Friday-for all the good it does....


And today’s thought:



Monday, 18 March 2013

Busy doing nothing-ish

Misty drizzly stuff, not a lot of warm and even less solar stuff at the Castle this morn, spent the last few days doing absolutely bugger all, a bit of chillaxing, even more sleeping and watching the box in preparation for my assault on Rushmoor Borough Council’s council tax thingy. 

They sent me the expected bill on Saturday demanding an amount of loot almost equal to Cyprus’s national debt, and as from the 6th of March as I am entitled to “Pension Credit Guaranteed Credit” I decided that they can shove their piece of un-recycled paper up their rear exit.
So I spent the weekend going through their 145page (I kid you not) PDF document issued by said council containing things such as:




And finally came up with:

So I phoned the Council Tax help line and was told that although I am receiving Pension Credit thingy I am not entitled to a rebate until I am 65, so I read out the pertinent paragraph (above), the nice lady then put me on hold and after a while came back and told me I was correct and that the bill was a “mistake” but it was all my fault because I didn’t qualify for the Pension Credit do-dah until March the 6th and the bills were sent out “early” which turned out to be the 14th of March. 

Now: I am not pissed orf about this, these things happen but what really worries me is the number of old farts that have received these bills and will just pay up because they don’t have access to the interweb thingy or are too frightened to make a fuss.

Anyway, apparently a “new” bill will be sent with the amended amount and all will be peace and harmony at the Castle again.

But remember, if you are of old fart status and in receipt in Pension Credit and you have received a demand for money-check it out with your council because you could save a lot of dosh.



Thursday, 24 January 2013

S'now recession: Irish leccy: “Hurry Up and Die”: la saleté françaises: Jet surfing: and some “funny” dummies.

More lack of warm than you could shake a set of long johns at, masses of white fluffy/scrapey scrapey stuff, minimum amounts of atmospheric movement and fuck all solar stuff as usual at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread (£1.45) gruel (94ps per tin) and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, bought yet another “charity” fake pound coin for the pay me or stagger around with a basket trolley thingy (so far I have lost two) and his Maj is back to his old loony self.

And alien reptile in disguise George (I don’t have to worry about my gas bill) Osborne is lining up his excuses for his piss poor “management” of broke Blighty’s economy.
Apparently disruption caused by heavy snowfall across Britain could see the UK slip back into recession once again, in what would be an unprecedented setback for the economy.
Back in 2010 Osborne blamed the snow for the UK economy's poor performance in the final quarter of 2010 and he will probably do it again this year.
According to Global Insight's chief UK and European economist Howard Archer "Given the UK's ability to grind to a halt with even a flake, the snow has come at a very brittle time for the UK economy, adding to the headwinds that it is already battling against as it tries to avoid a triple-dip recession,"
2012 saw the double-dip recession begun in October 2011 continue for the first half of the year, before the three months to the end of September 2012 registered growth of 0.9% boosted by the Olympic Games.

Oh good, it was worth the twenty billion for the jumpy, runny, throwy, swimmy thing then......


Allegedly UK and Irish ministers will today sign an agreement that could see some of the world's largest wind turbines built across the Irish midlands.
Stretching more than 600 feet (180 metres) in the air, the towers are set to generate energy for millions of UK homes from 2017.
The UK government says the Irish power is a cheaper form of renewable than offshore wind.
Under the plan, a number of companies are seeking to erect hundreds of wind turbines across the boggy midlands of Ireland. The power generated would be transferred to the UK via undersea cables that would join the grid at two points in Wales.
One of the developers, Element Power, says the plan would save UK consumers around £7bn over 15 years compared to other renewable sources.
The developers also say that thousands of jobs will be created in Ireland and the economy as a whole will benefit.
But concerns are now growing that the turbines needed to provide the power will be of a size and scale not seen in Britain or Ireland before.
"They will be spread around 40 clusters in five counties," said Element Power's Peter Harte.
Because the bog lands are relatively windless, the company behind the scheme says they will need to stretch high into the sky to catch sufficient wind to generate power.

That’s Irish.....


The Japanese finance minister Taro Aso, who also serves as the deputy prime monster, had been in office little more than a month when he insulted Japan’s elderly on Monday, calling those who can no longer feed themselves "tube people,” and claiming that treatment for just one patient close to death can cost the government “tens of millions of yen” a month.

He reckons that he would refuse any treatment meant to prolong his life and “I would wake up feeling increasingly bad knowing that [treatment] was all being paid for by the government,” he said during a meeting of the national council on social security reforms. “The problem won’t be solved unless you let them hurry up and die.”

He obviously hasn’t learnt much since we kicked their arses back in 1945.

A new full course menu of dirt-inspired items at Tokyo French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas will set you back 10,000 yen or $112.
According to Japanese news site Rocketnews24, the chef at the restaurant once won a high profile cooking contest with his dirt sauce, so a full menu of soil-infused courses was apparently the next logical step. The dirt is a special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture and has been tested for safety and purity (yeah right).
The first course is a potato starch and dirt soup served in a shot glass rimmed with salt, and is reportedly way better than it sounds. Apparently it doesn’t have “a dirty flavour at all.”
The second course of salad with dirt dressing “tasted so little of the earthiness I was expecting that I’d kind of forgotten about that ingredient,” writes the reviewer.
And for the main course, “aspic made with oriental clams and the top layer of sediment, and a dirt risotto with sautéed sea bass and burdock root.”
Dessert is dirt ice cream and dirt gratin followed by dirt mint tea that reportedly looks like puddle water.

Oh num fucking num, still they could feed it to the non dying old farts I suppose.


The inventors of a jet-propelled surfboard so they are struggling to keep up with demand.
The Jetsurf is a cross between a surf board and a jet-ski and can reach speeds of 40mph.
The flat carbon fibre board has a 100cc engine attached to the back and features a 2.5 litre fuel tank.
Users stand upright on the board and use their body weight to steer it from side to side like a surfer would.
The craft sucks in water from the front and shoots it out behind, helping it to build up speed very quickly.
Meanwhile, an electronic leash which is attached to the surfer's wrist acts as both a throttle and an emergency kill-cord.
It was developed by and the company says it is struggling to keep up with demand for the £7,000 product.
Technician Ben Gibson said: "It handles like a surf board and the weight of it isn't much more than a kite board or a surf board.
"Out of all the sports out there it is actually closest to snowboarding, as you are not getting pulled around or waiting for waves like on a surf board.
"We make 20 boards a month, all handmade, and constantly have a waiting list for them."

Sort of defeats the object doesn’t it....

And finally: 

Here are a few pics of “funny” dummies:



And today’s thought:



Thursday, 17 January 2013

Regulated fags: Old Farts heart checks: Pull up the drawbridge: Rhino Numpty: Echidna-hat-crap: and the Ex-Nazi’s number one.

Loads of lack of warm, layers of scrapey-scrapey stuff, light amounts of atmospheric movement and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread (£1.45) gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco and I took some carrots for the horses, waved them in front of the neddy burger coolers and nearly got trampled in the stampede.

And fucking Blogger still hasn’t sorted out the IE pic thingy...



Allegedly “academics” reckon that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition could raise at least £500m a year by capping the amount of profit tobacco companies can make from cigarettes.
They are calling for state regulation similar to that used to limit the price of water.
Writing in the journal Tobacco Control, they say reducing profits would allow for higher taxes without changing the price in shops.
Dr Robert Branston, from the University of Bath, said the tobacco industry was "incredibly profitable", with some companies making 67p in profit out of every £1 received after tobacco duties. He described that as an "incredible sum".
Some industries in the UK are already regulated to prevent companies taking advantage of a lack of competition in the market place. The regulator Ofwat reviews the price water companies can set and Dr Branston wants a similar organisation "Ofsmoke" to limit the profits made by tobacco manufacturers.
The report calculated the effect of limiting profits to levels achieved by food and drinks manufactures in Europe - between 12% and 20%.

The Tobacco Manufacturers’ Association said the industry was already high taxed and paid more than £12bn to the Exchequer in 2011-12.
It said: "Some popular cigarette brands are already taxed at nearly 90%, yet this report chooses to ignore this fact and instead concentrate on the profit of a legitimate industry which supports over 70,000 UK jobs.

And look how well OfWat do, no wonder we are so deep in the faeces....


A new blood pressure measuring device which can also detect a dangerous heart condition has been backed by the NHS watchdog.
The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence says GPs could use it routinely to spot more patients with atrial fibrillation (AF).
AF is an erratic and often fast heartbeat affecting 800,000 people in the UK and is a major cause of stroke.
The device NICE is recommending in England is called WatchBP Home A.
It looks like a normal blood pressure monitor, with an inflatable cuff that goes around the patient's arm.
At the same time as measuring blood pressure, it can check a patient's pulse.
If people over 65 were to be checked with the WatchBP Home A device, it could save the NHS about £26m and benefit about 400,000 people, says NICE.
I’m so excited my heart is racing.....

Around 250,000 migrants from Bulgaria and Romania could head to the UK for work when restrictions are lifted at the end of the year.

The Government has refused to issue an estimate of the number of foreign workers who are expected move to the UK from the two countries after getting the right to work in Britain. 

But an analysis of the numbers who flooded into the country from Poland and other Eastern European countries in 2004 showed around 50,000 migrants a year for the next five years could head to the UK, the campaign group Migration Watch UK said. 

The influx of foreign workers is expected to be lower than nine years ago as temporary restrictions on workers from Bulgaria and Romania have been in place and other European countries will be lifting their controls at the same time. 

But Britain remains one of the most attractive destinations for migrants, “partly because of its flexible labour market and partly because of the ease of access to its benefits system”, Migration Watch said. 

A previous estimate from Tory MP Philip Hollobone that the number of Romanians and Bulgarians in Britain could jump from 155,000 to 425,000 within two years also “seems exaggerated”, the group added.

Oh shit.....but if Pickles fucked orf abroad that would make room for ten thousand or so....

A “suggestion” from a South African game park owner for Chantal Beyer to “stand closer” to the Rhino to get a better picture resulted in the inevitable
The Beeld newspaper said that just after the photo was snapped, the rhino attacked, and its horn penetrated Beyers' chest from behind, resulting in a collapsed lung and broken ribs

The Aloe Ridge Hotel and Nature Reserve, where the incident took place, declined to comment Tuesday.

Good job it wasn’t an elephant....


25-year-old Munro Hardy happened upon an echidna wandering in a gold mine in Australia, he grabbed the rare egg-laying mammal to save it from being run over by machines.
Hardy pulled on a pair of leather gloves to pick up the echidna, which rolled into a ball to protect itself. So, he used a hard hat to move the spiky critter out of harm's way.
And what did the spiky monotreme did to thank the man? "The little bastard crapped in my hat and then crawled under the dash in the truck and into the wiring," Hardy said.
But Hardy persevered and got the animal out of his truck and into the scrubland away from the mine. Alison Bevege of Australia's NT News has the story of the crappy end to Hardy's spiky rescue, but alas, no mention of what he did with the souvenir the echidna left in his hat

No good deed goes unpunished....

And finally:

Archbishop Georg Ganswein, 56, who has been dubbed "Gorgeous George" by the Italian media has been the Pope's right hand man for more than six years and is always at his side is on the front page of Vanity Fair.
The softly spoken clergyman, who is also a pilot, likes to keep fit by playing tennis, is often pictured in glossy magazines because of his rugged good looks and some have even compared him to actor George Clooney.
He was pictured on the cover of the latest issue of Vanity Fair alongside the headline ''Being beautiful is not a sin'' adding that he was a ''particular'' clergyman, describing him as the ''George Clooney of the Vatican.''
Archbishop Ganswein's main role is to organise Pope Benedict's day to day diary and he was recently in the spotlight over the Vatileaks scandal when it emerged he had angered senior Catholic Church figures because of the media's interest in him.
However he has insisted his mind is fully on the job and recently said: ''Personally I see my role or service with the Pope as similar to that of glass.
"The cleaner it is then it will achieve its task. I need let the sunlight and the less you see of the glass then the better it is. If you don't see it at all that means I'm doing my job well.''

So how clean is an ex-Nazi’s glass then....


And today’s thought:
What do you mean Blighty is a third world country....

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Old farts on the Dole: Anti-Vulture Kits: Men can’t multi-task: Glowing Cachaca: and Pussy sees Barker.

As twenty twelve plus one starts orf something very odd is happening at the Castle this morn-the skywater has evaporated, the atmospheric movement has dissipated, the liquid metal in the lack of warm gauge has risen a number or two; and believe it or not but Dawn’s crack is visible for the first time in more than a couple of weeks.

The sun is out, the sky is blue, there’s not a cloud to spoil the view but........I bet it doesn’t last long.....

 And Blogger seens to be suffering from a hangover.

By 2020 the number of 60 to 64 year-olds on jobseekers’ allowance will rise from 19,000 to 39,000 by 2020.
And an additional 75,000 older people will move onto jobseekers’ allowance, the report said.
The number in the old fart age group receiving incapacity benefit or employment and support allowance will rise from 280,000 to 375,000.
Allegedly Jobcentres are preparing for a surge in unemployed older people who will need extra training in how to write CVs, apply for work online, and deal confidently with employers who they fear “routinely” discriminate against older workers.
A study by the Department for Work and Pensions predicted that the number of 60-64 year olds on jobseekers allowance and incapacity benefits will rise to more than 400,000 by 2020.
The research mapped the impact of the rise in the population of older people who will be expected to continue working as a result of the abolition of the default retirement age, changes to benefits, and increases to the state pension age.
It found that the biggest obstacle the over 60s will face to finding work is “a lack of modern job search skills”, especially their limited experience of looking for work online.
Many also have “unrealistic wage expectations”, “outdated qualifications” and “narrow” views about the types of job they could do.

Happy New Year Boomers.....


Everglades’s visitors are being offered ‘anti-vulture kits’ to defend against birds with a taste for car parts.
Over the last few years, staff members at Everglades National Park have experimented with ways to scare off flocks of vandals that lurk in parking lots every winter, sporadically defacing cars, trucks and boat trailers.
They’ve tried yelling at them, squirting them with water, even dangling dead ones upside down in trees.
So this winter, the park is shifting to purely defensive tactics against the big birds, expanding a program that provides visitors at the most trouble-prone sites loaner “anti-vulture kits” consisting of blue plastic tarps and bungee cords.
“It’s recognition on our part that they’re part of the park and we’re the intruders in their world,” said park wildlife biologist Skip Snow. “The vultures are doing what comes naturally.”

And there’s me thinking that cars have always been on the Vulture’s must eat list.

Tomasz Paczkowski was trying to prove that men can multitask by doing the ironing while watching

boxing on the box; and failed miserably.

And when the phone rang he picked up the hot iron and put it to his ear, "Trouble was, I got so involved in the boxing that I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing," he said.

"I really don't know how I could make such a silly mistake. But I guess it proves men are not able to multitask as well as many women can."

You think.......

Researchers in Brazil claim to have found a faster way to age the national drink - zap it with gamma radiation for a few minutes rather than let it sit in barrels.
This supercharged version of cachaca, a spirit similar to rum, carries with it no radiation risk, said Valter Artur of the Nuclear Energy Centre at the University of Sao Paolo.
"Tests have shown this cachaca can be consumed right after it is irradiated," Mr Artur was quoted as saying in the Folha de Sao Paulo newspaper.
So far the technique has only been used in university labs.
The gamma rays ionise the cachaca and this speeds up chemical reactions that take place naturally during the ageing process, he explained.

Yeah right....

And finally:

Eight-year-old Terfel kept bumping into things and spent most of his time stuck in his basket after being diagnosed with cataracts. 

Then owner Judy Godfrey-Brown let a stray cat into her home.
The puss, named Pwditat, walked up to Terfel and led him out of his basket and into the garden. She has been helping him find his way around ever since.
Retired civil servant Judy, 57, of Holyhead, North Wales, said: “I’ve never seen anything like it — most cats and dogs hate each other.
“But Pwditat immediately seemed to know that Terfel is blind.
“She uses her paws to help guide him. They are glued to each other and even sleep together now.”

Probably because someone has glued them together......

And today’s thought
See- we can multitask



Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Old fart’s fault: Henry’s party tips: Warm bike: Paranormal Madagascar: We’re all Doomed: and up and dahn in Paris.

Dark, damp, dubious and dodgy at the Castle this morn, taken the last of my anti falling dahn and laying in vomit pills, orf to see my general medic at 8.30 0f the am for a refill.


Old farts are to blame for everything, at a hearing in the House of Lords, “experts” from a London University and the Bank of England said that politicians will have made “winners” of older people and “losers” of younger people.
They said a combination of high house prices, rising government debt, unemployment and more expensive education mean young people are getting a raw deal compared with their parents and grand-parents.
“Current young people will be contributors to the public purse, whereas older generations haven’t,” said Professor James Sefton, an academic at Imperial College.
Said Prof reckons that those who are not old farts “should be angry and thinks the deal they are getting is poor,” he said. “There are a lot of transfers going on in the system that are from the young towards the old. The awareness of it is very poor but it will come out.”
And Dr Martin Weale, a member of the Bank of England’s monetary policy committee, said Britain will need to save more money in the medium-term to pay for the rising cost of the NHS and pensions, as people live longer and get more demanding.
Lord Bichard, a former senior Whitehall official, said older people should be less of a "negative burden on society" and face penalties like losing benefits if they do not “contribute”.
The ex-permanent secretary in the Department of Education and former chief of the Benefits Agency, said the elderly should get rewards and fines to make sure they are taking a more active part in their communities.
“Older people who are not very old could be making a very useful contribution to civil society if they were given some incentive or recognition for doing so.
“We’re prepared to say to people if you’re not looking for work, you don’t get a benefit. If you’re old and you’re not contributing in some way, maybe there should be some penalty attached to that. These debates never seem to take place.

On behalf of all old farts I would to say sorry to all those not of old fart status; sorry for working my nuts orf for fucking decades paying for your education and health service, sorry for paying 33% income fucking tax, sorry for paying 12 fucking percent mortgage rates, sorry for bringing you up so that you can live in our homes until you are forty fucking years old before you get orf your arses and find somewhere to live, sorry for feeding you, clothing you, keeping you safe and taxi-ing you around for fucking years, sorry for expecting you to do the decent thing and look after the elderly who actually know what poverty really is, sorry you voted in the fuckwits that have lied over Uni fees and sorry for living so fucking long.


Allegedly the Prince of 'take em from behind' and danglers has been entertaining Army pals in Afghanistan by reading out extracts from Pippa Middleton’s new book on throwing parties containing how to play skittles with a pumpkin at Halloween and recipes for Bonfire Night by Pippa. 29.
Pippa’s book — out on Thursday priced £25 — is subtitled A Year Of British Festivities For Family And Friends. She is believed to have signed a £400,000 deal for her ideas, based on experiences working at her parents’ online firm Party Pieces.

Interesting; I didn’t know Harry could read, it is rumoured that he has ‘A’ levels in art and geography which does make him qualified to colour in maps....


Towns in the Netherlands are considering a proposal to heat cycle lanes to encourage greater use of bicycles in winter.
The town of Zutphen in the east of the country is awaiting the result of a preliminary assessment before it embarks on a feasibility study next year.
The province of Utrecht is also considering the scheme.
The Netherlands has an estimated 18m bicycles for a population of less than 17m. There is more than 35,000km of cycle paths in the country.
The scheme proposes to use geo-thermal energy to prevent ice forming.
The idea has been provisionally costed at 20-40,000 Euros per kilometre (£26-52,000 per mile).
But the man behind the proposal, Marcel Boerefijn, said there would be savings from fewer accidents, less salt needed to grit roads and reduced car expenses.
Mr Boerefijn said it was possible that the final net cost would be less than putting straw down on the paths.
Arien de Jong, a spokeswoman for the Dutch Cyclists Unions said: "We are very excited about the heated paths, because they could prevent so much misery. If cycle lanes are frozen over for four weeks, that results in about 7,000 more accidents involving cyclists.

I’m exited too-not...


Petrified children fled a cinema in tears after bungling staff screened a horror movie instead of a family cartoon.
Dozens of excited youngsters ate popcorn with their parents as they waited for fun film Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted to start.
But their joy soon turned into utter horror when a dopey projectionist accidentally played chilling movie, Paranormal Activity 4.
The film opened with a flashback to the first Paranormal Activity – featuring a woman’s bloodied corpse being hurled at the big screen.
Natasha Lewis, who took her eight-year-old son Dylan Lewis-Gray to last Saturday’s 10am screening, slammed cinema bosses for the mistake.
The 32-year-old, from Bulwell, Notts, said: “I’m disgusted about it. I thought something didn’t look right when the film started.
"It was only about two minutes worth of the film but it was enough to scar the ­children for life.
“It’s a terrifying scene where a body shoots towards the camera. It’s enough to make grown men jump – imagine the terror for these kids.”
Around 25 families scrambled for the exit of the Cineworld theatre in Nottingham when they realised the movie was not Madagascar 3.
Natasha added: “All you could hear were children crying and screaming. Everyone was upset.
“I’ve watched a few horror films in my time – Paranormal Activity ones are the scariest since The Exorcist.
“Dylan doesn’t want to set foot in the cinema again.”

That’ll save on days out then.....


Apparently if we don't solve the problem of Fukushima reactor No. 4, which is on the verge of a catastrophic failure that could unleash enough radiation to end human civilization on our planet.

The resulting releasing of radiation would turn North America into a "dead zone" for humans... mutated (and failed) crops, radioactive groundwater, skyrocketing infant mortality, an explosion in cancer and infertility... this is what could be unleashed at any moment from an earthquake in Japan. Such an event could result in the release of 85 times the Cesium-137 released by the Chernobyl catastrophe, say experts (see below). And the Chernobyl catastrophe made its surrounding regions uninhabitable by humans for centuries.

"It is no exaggeration to say that the fate of Japan and the whole world depends on No.4 reactor." - Mitsuhei Murata, Former Japanese Ambassador to Switzerland and Senegal, Executive Director, the Japan Society for Global System and Ethics

Here's how this could happen, according to Mr. Robert Alvarez, former Senior Policy Adviser to the Secretary and Deputy Assistant Secretary for National Security and the Environment at the U.S. Department of Energy:

"The No. 4 pool is about 100 feet above ground, is structurally damaged and is exposed to the open elements. If an earthquake or other event were to cause this pool to drain this could result in a catastrophic radiological fire involving nearly 10 times the amount of Cs-137 released by the Chernobyl accident. The infrastructure to safely remove this material was destroyed as it was at the other three reactors. Spent reactor fuel cannot be simply lifted into the air by a crane as if it were routine cargo. In order to prevent severe radiation exposures, fires and possible explosions, it must be transferred at all times in water and heavily shielded structures into dry casks. As this has never been done before, the removal of the spent fuel from the pools at the damaged Fukushima-Dai-Ichi reactors will require a major and time-consuming re-construction effort and will be charting in unknown waters." (

Note: He says "10 times" the Cesium-137 of Chernobyl. Others say up to 85 times. Nobody is 100% certain of what would actually occur because this has never happened before. We are in uncharted territory as a civilization, facing a unique and imminent threat to our continued survival. And both governments and the corporations that assured us nuclear power was safe are playing their "cover my ass" games while the world waits in the crosshairs of a nuclear apocalypse.

Spiffing... I’m more worried about paying the gas bill.....

And finally:

Architects have created an interesting design for a possible new bridge in Paris … it consists of three inflatable doughnut trampolines.
The bizarre design was created as a response to an ideas competition for a new bridge in Pari - which will add to the 37 bridges which already cross the Seine.

A spokesperson for design firm Atelier Zündel Cristea said: "It appears to us that Paris has the bridges and passages necessary for the flow of vehicular and pedestrian traffic across its waterways.

"Our intention is to invite its visitors and inhabitants to engage on a newer and more playful path across this same water. We propose, now, a distinctive urban feature: an inflatable bridge equipped with giant trampolines, dedicated to the joyful release from gravity as one bounces above the river.

Elfandsafety nightmare...


And today’s thought: