Showing posts with label pensions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pensions. Show all posts

Saturday 17 September 2011

The Government can kiss my arse; I’ve reached (private pension) retirement age at last.


Or maybe not.......


Today I achieve the (not so) venerable age of 60 long, tiring years, getting to forty was a surprise, fifty was a shock and now I am gobsmacked, and thanks to the WBankers, the ex Gov, the present Gov, stock traders and all and sundry after forty years of giving them my hard earned money my payout from the “Private Pension” people is about half what it should be, as is the monthly pittance paid into the Angus bank account.
Which means that the world cruise is orf, as is the fully restored classic car, new clothes, new glasses, decent food, trips out and relaxing.
I was going to “retire” but that is orf as well, my aspirations of a quiet life pottering about in the garden and visiting “interesting” places have been flushed down the loo with the ever increasing water costs, I was going to spend much more time blogging, visiting and commenting on other blogs but it seems that the study will remain full of broken computers waiting to be fixed.
And the Piss Poor Policy Coalition Millionaires Club Coalition are extracting the urine, it seems that 60 is no longer “oldish” I will have to wait until the 6th of March 2013 for my bus pass and heating allowance but I do get free prescriptions from today.

Sent the powers that be £77.50 for a new bio thingy passport so that I could pay even more taxes to leave the country, been away to the big warm salty thing in foreign climes, and spent a while laying in the warm on the beach watching the turds float by,  got back early Thursday morn.
What the hell has happened to this country in a week and a bit?
It was “summer” when I left, now its autumn, leaves are falling orf the trees, the Virginia creeper has turned red and it’s cold and damp.
Inflation is up, unemployment is up, food prices are up, and I have just got an email from my Gas and Leccy provider to tell me that they are doubling my monthly payment, and just to imitate a prostate exam I popped into Tesco for some go juice and they are charging £1.339 for a LITRE of petrol, which works out at about SIX QUID a gallon!
And the demand for the Honda road fund license has just dropped on the mat (£130 squids).

But at least “we are all in this together”- aren’t we?

The (goodish) news- the renovations at the Castle are finished, the garden is fettled and his Maj has learnt to climb the six foot fence at the bottom of the grounds.




I have purchased a new laptop-500gb hard drive, 8gb ram, hi def screen, DVD dual layer re writer, and it runs Windows seven which I hate to admit I am quite impressed with (so far).

That’s about it, back on Monday for the usual.

Oh to be in England now that recession’s back...


Angus

Monday 1 August 2011

Tatty Tarmac: Time for Euthanasia?: Have a break Gary: Bog orf to Potsdam: “Tombstoning”: Knight Warrior: and daft signs.

Very humid at the Castle this morn, dry, Sunny and calm, the liquid metal gauge reads 75f in the kitchen and all the doors and windows are open.
His Maj has been in the garden since 6 of the am, and I have just returned from the Tesco stale bread, gruel and pussy food run, absolute bloody shambles-“They” are closing down next Sunday night for a week to “refit”, but it seems they have decided to start this week. Numptys all over the place emptying out shelves, cleaning, moving things, only one till out of thirty open and that was manned by an ex woollies employee who couldn’t get the thing to accept her password.
“They” have also decided to “improve” the car park by digging it all up in one go, the entrance road is dug out to a depth of a foot and is blocked by one of those massive street devouring machines so that “customers” have to drive through the garage bit (which only has one pump open because the tanker can’t get in) then turn against the flow of traffic to what is left of the car park to park. To get out you have to drive along the dugout exit road at one mile per hour dodging raised drain covers and humps that are now two feet high.


Monday, Monday.

 Late this am had to go out and “do” some things....



I see that the UK is sitting on a "time bomb of tatty tarmac", with roads facing further devastation if next winter is harsh, breakdown service Autonational Rescue has warned.
The under-funded "cheap and cheerful" patching up of roads currently undertaken by many local authorities was "wholly inadequate", the company added.
Substantially better central Government support for road repairs was essential, it said.
Autonational's marketing manager Ronan Hart said: "Britain's roads haven't really recovered from the damage done to them by several bad weather spells of recent winters, and dangerous potholes abound in our towns and cities.
"But because we're still living in times of austerity, many local authorities responsible for maintaining our road infrastructure say they are grossly under-funded and are effectively turning a blind eye to the problem."
Autonational pointed to a recent report from the Asphalt Industry Alliance which stated that £10.65 billion was now needed to be spent to bring roads in England and Wales up to scratch.

 I’ve got a spare two quid-any use?




Up to 14 million workers will retire with pensions far smaller than those enjoyed by their parents, a report warns today, as the “golden generation” of retirement schemes comes to an end.
Almost three quarters of private sector staff will be unable to “adequately exist” when they retire due to a low level of savings and the complex, costly and inefficient pensions system, the report claims.
Many workers retiring after 2020 are told to expect a “bleak old age”, even taking into account pension reforms that will force employees to save for their retirement.
The grim financial outlook contrasts sharply with conditions enjoyed by the recently retired. Figures show that the net income of pensioners has grown by 47 per cent in real terms since 1999.
Lord McFall sets out 16 recommendations for creating a stronger, more stable pensions system. The findings will be presented to Steve Webb, the pension’s minister.
The report lists a raft of grievances about pension provision. It points out that the value of pensions has been hit by the global recession, low investment returns, increases in household debt, drops in real incomes and low interest rates.
It suggests that there is a lack of trust in the system and says that private company pensions are often opaque and confusing for workers. 

No shit......

  


London aquarium staff have weaned a chocoholic giant Gourami fish on to a healthier menu of grapes and bananas after inheriting the creature, which was raised entirely on Kit Kats.
Staff at the Sea Life London Aquarium were baffled by the 4kg fish's refusal to feed, until they learned the 40cm Gourami, named Gary, had been brought up on chocolate.
So the team stuffed crushed Kit Kat pieces inside grapes to get Gary to "take a break" from his daily fix. 

Scottish Gourami?



Motorists were forced to take their restroom breaks in public after thieves made off with 22 stainless steel cubicle doors from highway service stops, news website The Local reported Saturday.
Police believe the culprits took the doors -- which retail at €2,000 ($2,900) each -- to use them elsewhere. But the manufacturer of the doors, the firm Hering Bau, thinks the thieves are planning to resell them as scrap metal.
Authorities said they had no leads and the firm feared the doors would not be found.


Lot of whistling going on in Potsdam.



Police have warned about the potential risks of "Tombstoning" after a teenager broke both this ankles jumping off a bridge.

The 19-year-old had to be rescued from a ravine on the River Glascanoch near Garve, Ross-shire, at around 6pm on Saturday, after jumping from Silver Bridge.

A coastguard helicopter was sent from Stornoway, and teams from Inverness, Portmahomack and Dornoch attended the scene.


Kevin Brown, Aberdeen Coastguard watch manager, warned: "Jumping from bridges, piers, cliffs or other structures into water can be very dangerous.

 You think......



By day, he is a mild-mannered gardener but, when night falls, teenager Roger Hayhurst turns into crime-fighting superhero Knight Warrior.
The 19-year-old has spent the last ten months walking the streets of Salford, Greater Manchester, breaking up fights and tackling bad behaviour.


Good luck with that....


And finally:


Some stupid signs.







And today’s thought: For NASA, space is still a high priority." - Dan Quayle


Angus

Sunday 26 June 2011

Kidderminster woodentops: $6.25 million per headlight: Crap warden: and how to die in the 16th century.

Dull, warm, damp and dingy at the Castle this morn, I am waiting for the “heatwave” to arrive.....still waiting........

I tried very hard to find anything of interest in the political arena-nothing, just the usual old bollocks, so a bit of an update on His Majesty.


He is perfecting his “pouncing” skills.

And he likes motorbike racing.



A Russian woman died of a heart attack at her own funeral, after waking up to find praying mourners filing past her coffin.
Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, 49, had been declared dead after suffering chest pains and collapsing at home in Kazan, capital of Tatarstan.
Doctors had failed to spot she was actually very much alive, and Mrs Mukhametzyanov unsurprisingly began screaming when she regained consciousness to find she was being prematurely dispatched to the hereafter.
Her husband, 51-year-old Fagili Mukhametzyanov, said: "Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital but she only lived for another 12 minutes in intensive care before she died again, this time for good."

If at first you don’t succeed.......

And ‘radical socialist’ Mark Serwotka is allegedly having £26,159 paid into his own pension pot every year – £3,309 more than the £22,850 average wage of members of the Public and Commercial Services Union (PCS) which he represents.
According to projections by financial experts, it means that the former Trotskyist and Arthur Scargill fan will be able to retire at the age of 65 on an annual pension of £63,554.22.

Still....we are all in this together.....


An internal police inquiry has been started after a police car crashed into a shop in Worcestershire.
The patrol car crashed into Vision and Audio Services Ltd in Kidderminster, after colliding with a Corsa in Sutton Road at about 1420 BST on Friday.
One man was in the silver Corsa and two West Mercia Police officers were in the patrol car. No-one was hurt.
The road was temporarily closed between the junctions with Talbot Street and Poplar Road, but has since reopened.
Or you could look at it this way
A police vehicle was involved in a crash with another car that ended up crashing into a shop window.
The Vauxhall Astra police car was responding to an incident when it was in collision with a Vauxhall Corsa in Sutton Road, Kidderminster, at 2.20pm yesterday.
Witnesses said the Corsa ploughed through a small wall before hitting the front of the Vision and Audio Services shop at the junction of Sutton Road and Greatfield Road.
West Mercia Police said Sutton Road was closed for several hours after the accident. Neither of the two officers in the police car or the man driving the Corsa was hurt. The force said there would be an internal investigation into the crash.

Contact details - 138 Sutton Road
Kidderminster, Worcestershire DY11 6QR
01562 822 567 –

They will probably have quite a lot of bargains....



Victoria Secret's Fantasy Bra: No lady could ask for a more ostentatious lift than Victoria Secret's $12.5 million brassiere encrusted with 2,900 diamonds, rubies and other precious stones. Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks are among the supermodels that’ve been pictured in this item since it first went on sale in 1996.
"It's pretty heavy," supermodel Gisele Bundchen said as she joked with reporters after modelling the luxury item last month. "I mean, it was, like, almost heavier than me."
Other very expensive underwear is available from all good stores....




A bogus council warden has made a small fortune by fining people for taking their dogs for a walk on the beach.
The fake official – who was wearing a uniform and driving a large black car – charged owners £75 on-the-spot fines for exercising their pets without a lead.
Last night council bosses in Conwy, North Wales, said they had no dog wardens ­operating at Llanddulas and Pensarn beaches, where the incidents happened.
Environment manager Nick Jones told dog owners: “Do not hand over any money to anybody without first asking to see an ­identification card.”
Police have appealed for information.


But they have no leads......


And finally:



1.      Bears
2.      Archery
3.      Handgun
4.      Self inflicted
5.      Bread
6.      Nut crackers
7.      Mad cows
8.      Maypole
9.      Bathing
And
10.  Taking a dump.

Click on the header link to find out.


That’s it: I’m orf for a snack.

And today’s thought: In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.


Angus 



Tuesday 31 May 2011

Gold plated NHS: U-Turn Cam about to do another one: Brockworth back on: Chicago Nuns: Now that’s what I call a pothole: and Mind your language.

Splendiferous day at the Castle this morn, sunny, warmish and calm, it won’t last.
The dog and bone started ringing early and the kitchen will soon be bristling with dead, dying and not very well computers.
The Talk Talk internet connection is still iffy, so apologies for not visiting/commenting but I will soon be connected to Orange.



I see that according to Oxfam the prices of staple foods will more than double in 20 years unless world leaders take action to reform the global food system. 

Been to Tesco lately? It already has.


New figures have disclosed that some health service chief executives will retire with annual gold-plated payouts worth up to £110,000 despite the fact that the system currently is under severe financial strain.
The revelations, which compare to the annual pension of just £7000 for an average NHS worker, come as many private pension schemes are falling.
Separate statistics also show that more than 2600 senior managers of hospitals and health trusts are paid £250,000 a year – £107,500 more than the salary paid to David Cameron, the Prime Minister.
It also comes amid heavy cutbacks throughout the NHS as frontline services are hit by budget cuts.
According to the new figures, the chief executives of ten strategic health authorities in England have gold-plated final salary pension pots worth between £1.2million and almost £2.6million.
The biggest belongs to Sir Neil McKay of the East of England authority, and is currently valued at £2.59million, reports suggested.
He is currently paid between £230,000 and £235,000, and he is said to have earned an annual retirement of between £105,000 and £110,000.
Sir Ian Carruthers, from the South West strategic health authority, has an estimated pension pot valued at £2.58 million.
He is expected to receive between £100,000 and £105,000 when he retires.  

I see they haven’t included Andrew Morris the CEO of Grimly Dark Hospital whose pension pot was about £1.5 million back in 2010 (allegedly).


According to “reports” U-Turn is getting closer to abandoning Andrew Lansley's NHS reforms, and could be prepared to lose his health secretary in the process.
Downing Street has begun 'war-gaming' the scenario in which Mr Lansley resigns after much of his reforms are abandoned, the Sunday Telegraph reported.  

I would like to be present when the arrogant rich git disappears up his own rear exit.



Rebel cheese rollers have defied the English weather to take part in a bizarre competition of chasing a 4kg wheel of the dairy product down a steep hill.
Hardcore thrill seekers staged their own unofficial event after the world-famous Cheese Rolling was cancelled for a second year running.
The race had been advertised on social networking sites with a page set up on Facebook and people posting messages on Twitter.
There was a large police presence at entrances to Cooper's Hill, at Brockworth, near Gloucester, but the event went ahead.
The bizarre annual event attracts participants, spectators and media from across the world.
Several hundred spectators braved the fog and rain to watch about a dozen daredevil athletes pursue the Double Gloucester cheese 200 metres down the 1:2 gradient slope.
Competitors slip, somersault and tumble their way to the bottom in spectacular fashion during the bone-crunching races - and the first person to grab the cheese wins.
This year champion local cheese roller Chris Anderson, 23, won the three adult male races while 14-year-old Jo Guest, from Wolverhampton, came out on top in the women's race.
After winning the first race, Mr Anderson, from Brockworth, Gloucester, said: "That's the biggest fall I've ever had, ever.
"I got far too much speed up and had a big fall."
Mr Anderson recovered from his tumble to win the further two adult men races and walk away with three Double Gloucester cheeses.
Asked how he was feeling, Mr Anderson, who is planning to join the army and might not be back next year to defend his crown, said: "Amazing, brilliant. First time I've won all three.
"I'm knackered now and cold and wet.

 One up for the revolution.


Police were today searching for two suspects who robbed a Chicago bank dressed as nuns - in a scene eerily reminiscent of the movie The Town.
The pair, dressed in black nun costumes with rubber masks on their faces, robbed the TCF bank at 1.58pm local time Sunday just minutes before closing time, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.
Both robbers, who were carrying guns, jumped over the counter and ordered two employees to the bank vault where they filled a duffel bag with cash, police said.
Police did not disclose how much money was taken, but said no one was hurt in the incident.
One suspect was described as being male, 170cm tall. He was wearing black and white gym shoes, black gloves and was armed with a revolver.
The other person was female, about 165cm tall. She was wearing black boots, white gloves and carrying a semi-automatic pistol.
The couple left the scene in a silver four-door Chevrolet with tinted windows. 

I know religion is struggling a bit, but that is going too far…


An investigation is under way in northeast China after a giant hole opened up in a road bridge, swallowing a passing lorry.
Two men who were inside the lorry were injured when the road collapsed beneath their vehicle, causing them to plunge into the river below.
The hole in the bridge measured approximately 14 metres by five metres, and developed in a section of the bridge that was built as an extension in 1995.
Local media reported that authorities suspect the lorry, which was carrying steel pipes, was overloaded.
Earlier in May, another lorry fell through a giant sinkhole that opened up in a Beijing Street, with reports that it could be due to construction work for a subway system.
And in February three people were injured when a motorway viaduct collapsed in Shangyu, Zhejiang Province.
The Foreign Office warns the "poor quality of roads and generally low driving standards" make road travel in China particularly dangerous. 

Same problem here in Blighty.

 And finally:


Swearing in public could result in boisterous people being fined £80 in a new police initiative to combat anti-social behaviour.
Officers in Barnsley, in south Yorkshire, have been told to monitor the language of people out shopping, eating or merely relaxing in the town centre.
If the member of the public is heard to swear and the profanity is judged to be potentially causing offence or intimidation, the officers have been told to intervene.
The first option is simply to tell the individual to moderate his or her language but if that is unsuccessful, the officer can fine the person a maximum of £80.
Members of the public have also been asked to report offensive and intimidating language, including swearing.

You have been warned-fucking cheek…..


 And today’s thought: By the time you find greener pastures-you are too old to climb the fence.

 ,,
Angus

Thursday 10 March 2011

Faggin hell: Carbon hatchback: Harmony of intent: Banking on a train: Up your Trossachs: Sole of a car: Neodymium attraction: Lasagne loser: and ladies sauntering.

A tad on the cool side at the Castle this morn, the butler has collected a new batch of fat teenagers for the furnace; the kitchen is empty of computers and I am still waking up at four of the am.
At about 9.30 last eve the phone rang, as I was doing my biz in the bathroom I didn’t get to it before the answer phone cut in and I heard “Deirdre, are you there?”, “Deirdre, Deirdre”, I picked the handset up and said “hello” to be greeted with “Deirdre?”
“Err, no, no Deirdre here, you must have a wrong number”
I want to speak to Deirdre, where is she?
“I don’t know, you have a wrong number”
I must speak to Deirdre, can you get her?”
“No Deirdre here-wrong number”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes”
Will you get Deirdre for me? I really need to speak to her

By now I was getting quite miffed, and said to the elderly lady.
“Sorry but Deirdre has run off with a Muslim Imam, and they have gone to live in Afghanistan”
Oh dear, and I really wanted to speak to her, do you have her phone number?”

Click.
You couldn’t make it up.




I see that smoker bashing has become the national sport of the Piss Poor Policies Coalition-again.
They have come up with the idea that if they hide all the fags and baccy under the counter no one will smoke.
And coming up is the cunning plan to only have white packaging on said consumables, which prompted “Paxo” Paxman to utter the daftest thing I have heard on the BBC-“so how will they know what they are buying?”
Because they will have the name on them you overpaid, arrogant twat.
I won’t go into the facts that smokers contribute billions to the purse in taxes, and that our contribution more than pays for any treatment we may need because of the filthy habit-unlike booze, no, I won’t go into that.
According to the PPP Coalition.
Or maybe…….




One of the first major manufacturers looking to take the plunge is BMW.
The luxury automobile maker has announced plans to build a range of electric city cars, under the sub-brand BMW-i, using lightweight carbon fibre passenger cabins.
The company has entered a partnership with German-based SGL Carbon, and together the firms plan to build a $100m (£62m) carbon fibre manufacturing plant in Washington State, USA.
VW has unveiled its own prototype carbon fibre car, the L1, suggesting that the company also sees a viable future for composite materials.
Not to be left behind, Audi and Mercedes-Benz have formed alliances with another German carbon fibre composite manufacturer, Voith.

The new cars will be so light that they will come with an anchor to stop them blowing away.




Apparently yesterday’s announcement by the Irritable Bowel Twins  (and Tommy Cooper impressionist) may not happen for a while-if at all.
All that happened on Tuesday is that Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith gave a speech making the case for reform.
He believes the current system is too complex and removes any incentive for people to save for their retirement. So he called for a "debate" to look at "options for simplifying the pensions system".
He said he was "working closely" with the Treasury on a new structure that would reward those who save. Chancellor George Osborne, he made clear, had been "seized of the importance of this project".
But Mr Duncan Smith did not say the new flat rate state pension will be £140 a week. He did not say how it would be paid for. He did not say when this policy may come into force.
He did not say when a much delayed green paper may be published - a document that in itself will be only a series of options to be considered. He did not say why people who have contributed national insurance all their lives should get the same pension as those who have not.
He did not say why rich pensioners should get a bigger state pension when richer parents are losing their child benefit.

He didn’t say much really did he? Thought it was a bit too good to be true.




A train has smashed into a bank in Melbourne's south.
The train overran a track at Sandringham station and crashed through a wall of the Bendigo Bank about 8.10pm (AEDT) on Wednesday.
Metro spokesman Chris Whitefield said no passengers were on the train and there was no disruption to services on the line this morning.
He said the train driver was performing a manoeuvre to turn the train around when the crash occurred and the incident would be investigated.
"We'll be doing what we do from a safety perspective in terms of our investigation, that will determine what happened, why it happened and recommendations and actions to make sure it doesn't happen again," Mr Whitefield said.

That’ll be a big withdrawal.




Thousands of copies of a new map of Loch Lomond have been withdrawn after complaints that an area was dubbed "giro bay".
Bosses at the Loch's authority announced the move today, saying the use of a "colloquialism" was an "error or judgement".

Previously unnamed areas in the park were also named after map makers and water rangers.

Fiona Logan, CEO of the Loch Lomond & The Trossachs National Park Authority said: "The National Park regret that we made an error in judgment in the initial print run of the new navigational chart for Loch Lomond.

"A colloquialism was included in the chart as were some previously un-named parts of the loch being named after the British Geological Society cartographers (map makers) and our most dedicated water rangers, who worked together on this mapping project over the last four years. This is a common cartographer tradition, we appreciate it is felt to be inappropriate in this instance.

"We are grateful to local people for drawing this to our attention. As soon as we realised our mistake, immediate action was taken and we withdrew the chart."

The map had been produced to update an 1861 copy.

A new chart, minus the controversial names, should be available within weeks park bosses said.
Harp of the North! that mouldering long hast hung
   On the witch-elm that shades Saint Fillan's spring
And down the fitful breeze thy numbers flung,
   Till envious ivy did around thee cling,
Muffling with verdant ringlet every string,--
   O Minstrel Harp, still must thine accents sleep?
Mid rustling leaves and fountains murmuring,
   Still must thy sweeter sounds their silence keep,
Nor bid a warrior smile, nor teach a maid to weep?
Walter Scott-the lady of the lake, no mention of Giros though.




A footwear manufacturer in China has made an electric car out of a giant shoe.
It can carry two people up to 250 miles at speeds of up to 20mph on a single charge of the battery underneath the driver's seat.
The leather 'bodywork' is made in the same way as a normal shoe but on a bigger scale, using the hide of five bulls.
A Kang Shoe company spokesman said it took six months to design and build the car at a cost of around £4,000.
The company demonstrated its bizarre vehicle outside its headquarters in Wenzhou in eastern China's Zhejiang Province.
Workers queued up for the chance to drive the shoe car which is 10ft long and more than three feet high.
Company president Wang Zhengtao says it is designed as a promotional tool and he plans to make 40 for stores around the country.

Bet the Bulls aren’t too chuffed about that.




The race to produce the earth’s strongest magnet containing neodymium and 16 other rare earth elements continues.

 I find that rather attractive.




Giancarlo Sabatini avoided Italian police for a decade on the run, but couldn't resist his wife's lasagne.
 Police say went into hiding in 2000, shortly after being given a 3-year, 8-month prison sentence in a cocaine trafficking case.
Acting on a tip, police staked out the homes of Sabatini's wife and daughter Tuesday in Rocca Priora, a town near Rome. When they spied the daughter leaving her mother's house and furtively dashing toward her home bearing a tray of lasagne, police, suspecting a secret guest, burst in and arrested Sabatini.
Many Italians prepare lasagne with meat sauce for lunch on the last Tuesday of Carnival. Police say Sabatini came from his hideout in Belgium to celebrate the last day before Lent with his family.

The way to getting nicked is though a man’s stomach.

And finally:

Ladies sauntering: (last one).







And today’s thought: Hell hath no fury like . . . the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Angus