Showing posts with label pissed parrots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pissed parrots. Show all posts

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

I hate Talk Talk: Lordy Lordy: Cultural men: Seeing Eye Goats: Paddling Numptys: Pippa gets a new job: Pissed Parrots: and climbing the ladder of Elfandsafety.

Calm, sunnyish, warmish and dry at the Castle this morn, the new resident is snuggled up against me and is in the land of nod after an hour of lunacy and the Honda is covered with yellow dust again, which will probably be added to by the volcanic ash which is allegedly on its way.

I am in the process of changing my ISP, I have been with Tiscali since the orf and have been very happy, decent prices, excellent connection and no bovver.

Then Talk bleedin Talk took them over and my last monthly bill has risen by almost fifty pc, so I phoned them to find out why they were ripping me orf (at my expense) and as soon as the twelve year old found out that I am with Tiscali transferred me to “the other division”.

Twenty seven minutes later I was left with the promise of a phone call to “sort things out” in a months time and look forward to receiving my next inflated bill in a few days time.

So I contacted Orange (my mobile provider) who have offered me a great deal, a new wireless router, no connection charge and fixed prices for the next 18 months.

The only snag is that they tried to contact Talk Talk to obtain my mac code and surprise, surprise they couldn’t get through.

So Orange will ring me back today at 11 of the am and we will try again.

I hate Talk Talk…..

He told Chelmsford Crown Court he was "horrified" to find himself being prosecuted because of claim forms he spent just "a minute a month" filling out.

The former Lords opposition frontbencher and Essex County Council leader is alleged to have fraudulently claimed parliamentary expenses for hotels in London between March 2006 and April 2009 when he did not in fact stay overnight in the capital.

Lord Hanningfield, 70, who denies six counts of false accounting, said he "quite honestly assumed" he could claim the maximum amount after learning that this was what 85% of peers did.

Asked by his defence counsel why he thought he was entitled to the full sum, he said: "The £30-40 a day that was then available on the daily allowance was very little."

The peer, from West Hanningfield, near Chelmsford, Essex, told the court he saw the money as a "living-out-of-London allowance" rather than overnight subsistence.

Lord Hanningfield said he spent "a minute a month" completing the Lords' expenses claim form in exactly the same way each time, not even including rises in train fares.

"If I had known how important some people saw those forms, I would have done much more. I didn't see it as self-certifying, I saw it as means of getting expenses," he said.

Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing......?

Simply observing culture improves the physical health and mental wellbeing of men more than attempting to be creative, it is claimed.

Women seem to benefit more from taking part in artistic activities than just watching them, however.

Researchers suggest that doctors and policymakers should therefore promote cultural activities as a simple way to lower stress.

“The results indicate that the use of cultural activities in health promotion and healthcare may be justified,” say the authors, whose study is published online in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.

In the paper, researchers from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology analyse the results of a three-year questionnaire of 50,797 adults, who were asked about what cultural and creative activities they took part in as well as their health and happiness.

They were asked how often they went to museums, art exhibitions, concerts, plays, films, church or sporting fixtures, as well as how often they participated in club meetings, sang or played musical instruments, danced, worked out or played a sport, or took part in outdoor activities.

The academics conclude: “This population-based study suggests gender-dependent associations between cultural participation and physical health, anxiety, depression and satisfaction with life.”

Money helps quite a bit as well.

Michelle Feldstein was prepared to provide special accommodations for the blind horse she recently added to the flightless ducks, clawless cats and homeless llamas inhabiting her animal shelter in Montana.

But nothing could prepare her for the 40-legged, seeing-eye entourage that accompanied "Sissy," a sightless, 15-year-old quarter horse.

"Sissy came with five goats and five sheep -- and they take care of her," said Feldstein, the force behind Deer Haven Ranch, a private rescue facility she runs with her husband, Al, on 300 acres north of Yellowstone National Park.

The seeing-eye sheep and guard goats are never far from the white mare, and they never lead her astray. They shepherd Sissy to food and water, and angle the horse into her stall amid blowing snows or driving rains.

"They round her up at feeding time and then move aside to make sure she gets to the hay," Feldstein said. "They show her where the water is and stand between her and the fence to let her know the fence is there."

Oh bless….

Twenty-year-old Grace Nash and her 22-year-old boyfriend Bruce Crawford, of Geauga County, northern Ohio, found themselves up to their ankles in trouble for rafting on a swollen river, the Grand River, in an emergency without safety jackets and lying about it afterwards.

A ranger on April 23 observed their raft in the water with river conditions above flood stage and saw they weren't wearing life jackets, the News-Herald reported.

The pair were able to get back on land by themselves, but lied when an official asked whether they were the people who had been in the water.

At least nine departments then arrived to search for missing rafters until 9.30pm - including a US Coast Guard helicopter that was dispatched from Detroit.

The couple pleaded guilty to misdemeanour misconduct during an emergency. Painesville Municipal Court Judge Michael a Cicconetti sentenced the pair to 60 days in jail or to stand in a kiddie’s inflatable pool while wearing life jackets and handing out water safety brochures at a festival in Painesville, 48 kilometres northeast of Cleveland, Ohio.

And their punishment? Standing in a kiddie’s inflatable pool, in life jackets and handing out water safety leaflets.

They got orf lightly if you ask me.

Pippa Middleton has reportedly landed a new job working for her ex-boyfriend.

The 27-year-old has agreed to take the new 'green' job that will see her working at the geothermal energy firm which is run by her ex George Percy.

She was recently spotted enjoying a break away with George, 26, and some friends in Madrid.

A source said to UK newspaper Sunday Mirror: "Pip and George are really close friends so when he needed someone to help out with office stuff, she was the obvious person to ask.

"She's enjoying getting stuck in to something new."

 I bet she is……

Pissed Parrots have been accused of being drunk and disorderly by residents living in Palmerston, Australia.

The birds are thought to get into their inebriated state by eating a particular plant that makes them exhibit all the tendencies of having overdone it on the sauce.

According to Ark Animal Hospital vet Dr Stephen Cutter, the birds act in a drunken manner and then fall over: ‘It's probably a plant with alcohol, or toxins in a plant making it worse’.

The birds typically start out by making a lot of racket on a Friday night at the Palmerston Markets, followed by more loud drunken behaviour before they eventually fall over.

Sorry about the video-I couldn’t resist…..

And finally:

A pensioner who contacted her local council for help with a nest of angry wasps outside her bathroom window was told nothing could be done, because the job required climbing a ladder. Pendle council in Lancashire claimed that using ladders was too dangerous when environmental health staff were required to wear protective clothing and carry poison.
David Whipp, a local councillor, said: “Unfortunately, you do not find wasps nesting on the ground.
“People wearing cumbersome suits managed to land on the Moon. Presumably, we would never have got there if the health and safety brigade had their way.”
Officials stood by the policy yesterday, saying it was safer for staff to apply poison to nests with a pole.
Pendle Council in Lancashire has been stung by criticism that using ladders is too dangerous when environmental health staff are wearing a bee keepers' smock and hood, and carrying poison.
But officials stood by the policy yesterday, saying staff were better off applying the poison with a pole.
The row blew up after a resident was turned down for the service after telling the council the nest about 20ft off the ground - could only be reached by ladder.

Ah-the old Elfandsafety pole excuse…..

And today’s thought: I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!