Cold and frosty at the Castle this Monday morn, the butler is down in the dungeon doing his thing with fat teenagers, the kitchen is empty of computers and I have unplugged the landline and switched off the mobile for a day off.
I see that Japan has made another attempt at nuking itself, which raises the question-“should Numptys who live in an earthquake area build nuclear power stations?”, but it will give our own energy Secretary a reason to do yet another U-turn.
And Bennetts, the local electrical retailer has gone bust, adding another 228 people to the dole queue.
Norfolk-based firm Bennetts, that employed about 300 staff in 14 stores across the country, has collapsed and called in administrators PKF.
All the shops will remain closed and only 57 staff will be kept on while administrators try to find a buyer.
The firm blamed competition from online retailers and increases in rents for its collapse.
Meanwhile Piss Poor Policies Dave C’s rear exit “Farmer Giles” has told the rest of the lost Dems that 'Lib Dems Will Never Lose Their Soul'.
Cleggie has attempted to allay the fears of Liberal Democrats by vowing to protect the party's "soul" amid anger over key coalition policies.
The Deputy Prime Minister admitted the Lib Dems were being forced to back "decisions which aren't exactly the ones we would make on our own" while in government with the Tories.
But during his closing speech at the party's spring conference in Sheffield, Mr Clegg insisted "will never lose our soul".
I think they sold that particular item to the devil when they crawled into bed with the Tories.
Millionaire Luvvies including Dame Helen Mirren, David Tennant, Victoria Wood and Miranda Hart are warning of a crisis faced by the arts from Government cuts.
The 46 names from British film, TV and the stage say they feel compelled to "speak out". They also include Kenneth Branagh, Rory Bremner, Julie Walters and Jo Brand
In an open letter published in the Observer, they say arts and culture across the UK are facing "the biggest threat" in decades.
The letter states: "Before the last election the Government promised to usher in a 'golden age' for the arts. The reality couldn't be further from this.
"With the reductions announced in last year's comprehensive spending review, the withdrawal of huge amounts of local authority support, the abolition of the UK Film Council and the financial pressures faced by the Arts Councils and the BBC, we are currently facing the biggest threat to funding the arts and culture have experienced in decades."
Does anyone really give a Bears’ bollocks? Apart from the Luvvies that is.
A U.S.-led research team may have finally located the lost city of Atlantis, the legendary metropolis believed swamped by a tsunami thousands of years ago in mud flats in southern Spain.
"This is the power of tsunamis," head researcher Richard Freund told Reuters.
To solve the age-old mystery, the team used a satellite photo of a suspected submerged city to find the site just north of Cadiz, Spain. There, buried in the vast marshlands of the Dona Ana Park, they believe that they pinpointed the ancient, multi-ringed dominion known as Atlantis.
The team of archeologists and geologists in 2009 and 2010 used a combination of deep-ground radar, digital mapping, and underwater technology to survey the site.
Freund's discovery in central Spain of a strange series of "memorial cities," built in Atlantis' image by its refugees after the city's likely destruction by a tsunami, gave researchers added proof and confidence, he said.
Atlantis residents who did not perish in the tsunami fled inland and built new cities there, he added.
Wonder how he knows that……
A football club in England's third tier is offering fans the chance to pay £15,000 for a season ticket - making the seats the most expensive in the country.
Peterborough United supporters willing to fork out the cash get a padded seat in the directors' box, a three-course carvery before each game and the title of Honorary Director.
But even the League One club's director of football, Barry Fry, is not convinced it will sell.
"The chairman is full of bright ideas. I think this is doomed to fail to be honest, but he has a go. You can't knock him," he said, laughing.
"I did have a word with him when he came up with this, and I said: 'I think you have to make it more attractive and say if we are doing well we ask the gaffer to put them on the pitch for five minutes as (a) substitute!'"
The chief executive says it is all a bit fun aimed at offering the wealthiest supporters something different while boosting the club's coffers.
Ten of the tickets will go on sale next week.
For most fans, season tickets have been frozen at £450 maximum for the next two years.
Another reason why I don’t like football.
The Vatican is to unveil the latest instalment in its social media transformation next week - a Facebook page dedicated to the upcoming beatification of Pope John Paul II.
The site, which will link to video highlights of John Paul’s 27-year papacy, is designed to promote the May 1 beatification. But it could well continue beyond, given the global interest in the late pontiff.
The Vatican’s first attempt at an event-themed Facebook page - to promote Pope Benedict XVI’s September trip to the UK - is still active six months later and updated almost daily with 10,000-15,000 fans checking in, said Monsignor Paul Tighe in the Vatican’s social communications office.
“What we found is that Facebook doesn’t just share information, it creates community,” Tighe said. “People begin talking to each other and sharing ideas,” he added.
Yeah right, check it out, apparently there is even a page on how to bugger young choirboys and get away with it (allegedly).
A California high school student visiting the Golden Gate Bridge on a field trip climbed over a railing, jumped - possibly on a dare by fellow classmates - and somehow survived the 220-foot plunge into San Francisco Bay that kills dozens of people each year.
Most jumpers die a grisly death, with massive internal injuries, broken bones and skull fractures. Some die from internal bleeding, while others drown.
But the 17-year-old lived, suffering just a broken coccyx and torn lung. California Highway Patrol Officer Chris Rardin said he was rescued by a surfer.
Little Playdough people have been found on the streets of Finland, less than half a year ago, a guy in a little town called Vaasa, in Finland arranged something unusual. A discotheque under a bench.
It all started with the idea of making something very small somewhere where you would least expect it. The idea of arranging a party was the only sure thing. The location was easily found because of the neat lamp that was the perfect dance floor for the small party animals. After that, the making of the characters begun and a musician friend gave the green light to use his music for the disco. Then, the installation was ready to be placed. After being up for just a few hours, valuables like the music player had been taken away, and the characters were abandoned.
Anyway to cut a long story short Mr Surename Here continued his quest to annoy people with his Playdough characters, and as is usual he is being hailed as an “artist” instead of the no mates, Numpty who really should get a life.
That’s it: I’m orf to test my scientific knowledge.
And today’s thought: If today is the first day of the rest of your life . . . what the hell was yesterday?