Showing posts with label pointless words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pointless words. Show all posts

Thursday, 19 March 2009

GET YOUR CHEQUE BOOK OUT


Sky News fancy buying a village?

Linkenholt down here in Hampshire is up for sale, 22 cottages, a cricket club, a blacksmiths, a manor house, 1,500 acres of farmland and 450 acres of woodland can be yours for the paltry sum of around £25 million.

Well what are you waiting for?



Don’t try to boil this bunny! Sky News mad march hares have nothing on this battling bunny.

For some strange reason fluffy decided to attack the snake it discovered in its field, and won! It eventually chased the interloper up a tree.

Ah, the joys of spring.



One for the people with arachnophobia ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) German customs officials inspecting a Swiss car got a nasty shock when they discovered 164 large spiders and 45 boxes of cockroaches - the arachnids' food for the journey.

The trap-door spiders, most "as big as a fist", were found wriggling around in boxes and plastic bags, said Markus Ueckert, a spokesman for the customs office in the south-western German city of Loerrach.

"Of course, the officers didn't open anything. They knew immediately what was going on," he said.


Me? I’d have been in Austria by the time the boot lid was open!



Se la vie

Ananova A Hungarian bank lost more than £20,000 in cash after a security van was rammed - by a prison van full of bank robbers.

While fire-fighters rescued the Category A prisoners from their blazing van, a small fortune disappeared from the cash van as bags of currency spilled out onto the street in Budapest.

People were seen driving up and grabbing the cash before speeding off again.
And by the time police arrived the money was gone and there was no trace of the people who had taken it.

Police suspected the crash may have been organised from jail by crime bosses and carried out by gang members still on the outside.

But officers quizzed all the inmates - who were being transported from a court back to their jail - who claimed they had nothing to do with the crash.

"The bank remains very suspicious. Of all the vehicles that could have hit their van, it had to be one full of bank robbers," said a police spokesman.



And finally from the BBC Council leaders have compiled a banned list of the 200 worst uses of jargon, with "predictors of beaconicity" and "taxonomy" among the worst horrors.

The Local Government Association says such words and phrases must be avoided for staff to "communicate effectively".

Clich├ęs such as "level playing field" and inscrutable terms like "re-baselining" have been prohibited.

LGA chairman Margaret Eaton said: "The public sector must not hide behind impenetrable jargon and phrases."

Local and central government are often criticised for their use of language.

The full list can be seen here, and include wondrous words and phrases like Bottom-Up, Citizen empowerment, Partnership working and Self-aggrandizement.

What can you say? Thinking outside of the box comes to mind.


There is no greater impediment to the advancement of knowledge than the ambiguity of words.” Thomas Reid


Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

POINTLESS WORDS



You come across them all the time, they are now a part of everyday speech, but; what do they mean?

My non-favourite is- Socio-economic groups, which means what? It is used to describe a portion of society, usually the poor. Alternative word-POOR.


Economic downturn: a favourite of politicians and TV presenters who are too afraid to say “recession”.

Subprime: Which apparently is a loan with a higher interest rate than “normal” loans, normally given to “socio economic groups” the POOR.

Webinar: A live, online educational presentation that has questions and comments from “viewers”- Meeting.

Pretexting: presenting oneself as someone else to obtain private information. (Or in other words “identity theft”, deception or fraud).

Boustrophedon: written from right-to-left and left-to-right on alternate lines. A pontless word and a pointless action.

Idea showers: What the F?

Incentivise?

Low hanging fruit: Used by people with low hanging knuckles.

Conversate: or to us talk.

Texted: Sent a text.


And,if you join the pontless words up you get pointless sayings.

“Opposites attract”

“A win-win situation”

“Thing's will look better in the morning”

“It’s too cold to snow”

“Hair of the dog”

“From the get-go”?



These are “Doctor speak” words that are used to show how intelligent they are and we aren’t.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis: yes this is a word and is basically pneumoconiosis-a lung condition caused by the inhalation of fine dust particles.

Sternutation: Sneezing.

Abalation– the removal of an organ or body-part through surgery.

Excitotoxicity: To do with attention deficit disorder to full blown autism.


There are of course some amusing sayings.

Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.

I'm not tense. Just terribly, terribly alert.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos.....then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Plagiarism saves time

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.


I started the day confused and I am still confused.

The word politics is derived from the word “poly” meaning many and the word “ticks” meaning bloodsucking parasites.
Larry Hardiman


Angus