Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Tuesday 6 November 2012

Adolescent electorate: Go juice tax on tax: Ugly marriage: Nun got a lot: Baby polisher: Face Yoga, and a Pregnant Dwarf Galaxy giving birth.


Post one grand plus one. 

The first layer of white crusty stuff, an absence of atmospheric movement, a vast amount of solar stuff and not an atom of skywater at the Castle this morn.
 

Had an “interesting” day on Monday, my lovely young lady arrived to trim what is left of my hair, the interweb thingy went totally tits up, and after a couple of hours I gave up completely, so I decided to “sort out” the study and as I was dismantling shelves and stuff the phone rang and it was a mate who was in more than a state of panic, his laptop had frozen and all he had was a “page” telling him that the Police had taken over his computer because of “illegal use”, but if he paid them £100 it would all go away and he could compute away to his heart’s content.

Luckily he didn’t oblige and brought the laptop to me, it was of course a scam, so I did the old ctrl-alt-del thing and ended up with just his desktop background, the next step was to shut dahn the offending pieces of electronics and press f7/f8 during boot; boot up in “safe mode” and do a restore to a couple of days before-sorted.

 So beware; if it happens to you, follow the advice above, and do not click on anything if you are attacked by these thieving, fuckwit tosspots they are only after your money.

 


Lord Tyler who used to be the Liberal Democrats’ former shadow Leader of the Commons has come up with a cunning plan to totally balls up the electoral system.
He wants to extend the right to vote to 16 and 17 year olds in all elections and referenda in the United Kingdom.
The Voting Age (Comprehensive Reduction) Bill which is being published would make this change with a simple amendment to electoral law.
Lord Tyler’s Bill was backed Lord Adonis, by former Labour Transport Secretary, Lord Lucas, former Conservative Government Whip, and Independent Crossbench Peer and Baroness Young of Hornsey.
Lord Adonis said: “Young people should be able to vote at 16, so that political debate and democracy fully include them, and so that they start to consider and discuss while still at school how to use their vote.”

A Cabinet Office spokesman said: “The Government has no plans to change the current voting age.”

 
Nice to see that Cupid Stunts are still rife in Gov.....

 
 

According to the shit for brains MPs on a typical litre of petrol costing 138.3p, 81p goes to the Treasury in fuel duty and VAT.
Under current Treasury plans, duty on petrol and diesel will rise by 3p a litre on Jan1 next year.
Motoring groups and campaigners, including Conservative MPs, are urging the Chancellor to scrap the planned rise, which they say will squeeze household budgets further and dampen Britain’s economic recovery.
The Commons library, which is politically neutral, tracks data on fuel and produces regular reports for MPs on prices and tax levels.
Its latest report shows that, after gradually falling over the summer, pump prices are close to levels seen in April, when a typical litre of petrol cost 141.7p.

The library’s researchers report that this year’s higher prices have mainly been caused by rising global oil prices, forced up by political tensions in the Middle East, especially over Iran’s nuclear programme.
However, tax has contributed to longer-term rises: “The price increases since late 2010 have been as a consequence of rising oil prices, the weaker pound and increases in duty and VAT,” the report said.

The library reported that overall, British fuel duty was the second highest in the European Union.
According to data from the European Commission, British diesel is the most expensive in the EU, “despite relatively low pre-tax prices”, the report said.

Petrol prices are the fourth highest in the EU, after Greece, the Netherlands and Italy.
 
A spokesman said: “The Government recognises that the rising price of petrol is a significant part of households’ day-to-day spending.
“Since coming to office the Government has listened to the concerns of motorists about high pump prices and acted. Fuel is now 10p a litre lower than under the previous government’s plans.”
 

Bollocks...

 
 

When husband Jian Feng saw his newborn baby for the first time he was horrified.
The girl was so ugly he refused to believe he and his stunning wife could have produced such a child.
And he rounded on his partner, accusing her of having an affair.
But she told him the terrible truth, her good looks were due to £62,000 of plastic surgery and the baby was indeed theirs.
Furious Feng took her to court claiming she had tricked him into marriage – and won his lawsuit.
Feng said: “I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues.
“Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me.” He told lawyers his wife had fooled him by having plastic surgery to make her beautiful and it was only the birth of their daughter that gave her away.
Incredibly, the court agreed and awarded Feng £75,000 after his wife admitted she had not told him about the surgery.
A judge in the northern Chinese court said she had tricked Feng into marrying her – and also granted a divorce. He ruled that since Feng had not been aware of the surgery, his wife had used “false premises”.
 

Your genes will find you out...

 
 
A nun with a gambling addiction was accused of stealing $128,000 from two rural parishes where she worked.
Sister Mary Anne Rapp was treated for a gambling addiction and is in recovery, her order said Monday, but she still faces a criminal charge of grand larceny following the thefts from the St. Mary and St. Mark congregations. She was expected to plead not guilty at an initial appearance in Kendall Town Court on Monday evening.
In 2010, two linked parishes were assigned a new pastor who sought a routine audit, said Kevin Keenan, spokesman for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Buffalo. The audit turned "some irregularities" that were turned over to a county prosecutor, he said.
Rapp is accused of taking the money between 2006 and 2010, Keenan said.
She was placed on leave from her position as pastoral associate in February 2011 and fired in April 2011, he said. St. Mary's in Holley and St. Mark's in nearby Kendall serve a combined total of about 600 families.
Officials believe Rapp spent the money at casinos. She is a member of the Sisters of St. Francis, based in Lewiston, north of Buffalo. Sister Edith Wyss, provincial minister of the 138-member order, said that when Rapp was placed on leave, she agreed to seek treatment for a gambling addiction.
"She spent 9 1/2 months in an in-patient treatment program and has maintained her recovery in the year since," Wyss said.
Wyss said the order does not condone the conduct but continues to pray for Sister Mary Anne as she deals with her addiction.
 

That'll help the poor and starving who are poorer and even hungrier whilst “sister” Rapp lived it up...

 

 
A US company is combining baby grows with mops so that babies can polish the floor as they learn to crawl.
Website BetterThanPants.com is hoping to clean up with its £25 invention which it calls the Baby Mop.
Inspired by a spoof Japanese advert for a similar invention, it promises to "teach your baby a strong work ethic early on in their life".
And it adds that the baby "will get a nice workout, burn off energy, and do muscle toning. And sleep better too."
Mike Parker from BetterThanPants.com said: "We have sold about 100 in just one month since adding it to our site.
"So far all the feedback from customers has been very positive; however we get some negative emails surrounding the idea of the actual product.
"The idea formed to make the actual product from a Japanese commercial on the web.
"I believe the idea was submitted as part of a contest on ridiculous inventions in Japan but was never actually sold anywhere.
"But this is the real deal; it's a legit product and is proving very, very popular."

 
Stick a broom handle up its arse and you could do cobwebs on the ceiling as well....

 
 

Have a bash at Face Yoga, developed by Annelise Hagen, who calls is the ultimate face-lift.

The New York yoga instructor says her technique is meant to be a natural alternative to Botox and cosmetic procedures, which cost Americans billions of dollars every year. She started working on her unique set of facial exercises after she learned that her students, most of them well-educated professionals, were practicing yoga, but also getting Botox shots during their lunch breaks to hide their wrinkles.

Hagen just didn’t feel that was in the spirit of yoga, so she decided to create a proper alternative. Based on the premise that, like any other muscles in the human body, facial muscles need exercise to stay toned, face yoga offers a range of exercises to help people looking younger for longer.


Just make sure there are no horses around...
 

 And finally:
 


The Hubble Bubble telescope thingy has snapped the faint irregular galaxy NGC 3738, which is located about 12 million light-years from Earth in the constellation Ursa Major, which turns out to be a Dwarf galaxy giving birth to oodles of new stars.
NGC 3738 is a type of galaxy known as a blue compact dwarf, researchers said. Unlike elliptical galaxies or spirals, blue compact dwarfs tend to be chaotic in appearance, lacking distinctive features such as central bulges or spiral arms. They're thought to resemble some of the universe's earliest galaxies and could provide clues about how stars looked shortly after the Big Bang, researchers said.
 
Lubbly Jubbly, hope there aren’t any rugby players about....
 

 

And today’s thought:
Who gives a shit...?
 

 Angus

 

Saturday 20 October 2012

Them: And Us: Exploding Ketchup: Conker crash: Burning in the sun: and The Gates of Hell


Not a lot of solar stuff, even less lack of cold, not a whimsy of atmospheric movement and nary a drop of skywater at the Castle this morn.

Didn’t manage to find a place that had shops, free parking and covered walkways yesterday, so I settled for a bit of a drive and a pub lunch.

 

Them.


The ex chief lash has finally got the hint and buggered orf to pastures new without admitting whether he said the ‘Pleb or moron’ word.
 
About bloody time... 
 
Alien reptile in disguise son of a B......aronet George (why should I travel with the moronic plebs) Osborne has had to cough up 160 squids when he tried to steal a first class seat from Virgin (where’s my franchise) chuff-chuff  between Wilmslow and the Smoke with a few of his ‘mates’. 

He will of course claim the cost of the ticket on his expenses and we will pay for it.

 
And U-Turn Cam is not talking  after avoiding questions for the fifth consecutive day about a cache of private emails between him and Rebekah Brooks.
He sidestepped five parliamentary questions over electronic communications with Ms Brooks, the former News International chief executive, that were not released to the Leveson Inquiry into media standards.
The Prime Minister also refused to release any further information in reply to a letter on the same subject from Harriet Harman, the deputy Labour leader.

 Nice to see that “open” Government thingy is working so well...

 
Us.

 


Tens of thousands of ‘plebs and morons’ are expected to march through London in protest against the government's austerity measures.
Labour leader clone B is among dozens of speakers due to address crowds in Hyde Park - where the march ends.
Demonstrators want the coalition to end public service cuts and instead create policies they say can create growth.
 

Won’t make any difference because “they” are not listening and never will...

 

 
Counterfeit ketchup collaborators are being a bit saucy by buying bulk quantities of traditional Heinz ketchup, transferring the condiment via large bladders into individual containers labelled "Simply Heinz," one of the company's premium recipes, then shunt the result off to unwitting consumers at a cushy mark-up.
Unfortunately the non top knob red stuff has got its revenge by making the fake bottles explode, probably due to carb-hungry microbes that moved in during the transfer and started building pressure inside a bottle as they convert their feast into gas.
 

Doesn’t bother me I can’t afford Heinz, I have to make do with Tesco.

 

Apparently organisers of the Scottish Conker Championships have had to call off this year’s event at the last minute - due to a shortage of conkers.
Efforts to find an emergency supply of conkers for the event at Peebles, in the Borders, on Saturday drew a blank.
The Borders Forest Trust, which has organised the event for the last five years, said the move was unavoidable due to the bad weather over the last few months.
Spokeswoman Louisa Finch said: “The first championships were a real success, so we are saddened that the event won’t be happening this year.
“Many horse chestnut trees are bare this year or only have very small conkers which wouldn’t have fared well in competition.
 

Maybe they could use frozen sprouts instead....

 


The maker of Banana Boat sunscreen is recalling some half-million bottles of spray-on lotion after reports that a handful of people have caught on fire after applying the product and coming in contact with an open flame.
Energizer Holdings said Friday that it is pulling 23 varieties of UltraMist sunscreen off store shelves due to the risk of the lotion igniting when exposed to fire.
The recall includes aerosol products like UltraMist Sport, UltraMist Ultra Defense and UltraMist Kids.
A company spokesman said there have been five reports of people suffering burns after using the sunscreen in the last year. Four burn cases were reported in the U.S. and one in Canada.
More than 20 million units have been sold since UltraMist launched in 2010, the spokesman said.
The problem appears to be caused by UltraMist’s spray valve, which is over applying the product, Energizer said in a statement. As a result the lotion is taking longer to dry, which raises the flammability risk.
“If a consumer comes into contact with a flame or spark prior to complete drying of the product on the skin, there is a potential for the product to ignite,” the company said.
 

So no smoking or cooking, or barbeques, or.....

 
And finally:
 

 
In the Karakum desert in Turkmenistan, near the 350 person village of Derweze, is a hole 328 feet wide that has been on fire. For 38 years it has constantly been active. This hole is known as the Darvaza Gas Crater or the "Gates of Hells" by locals, the crater can be seen glowing for miles around.
The hole is the outcome not of nature but of an industrial accident. In 1971 a Soviet drilling rig accidentally punched into a massive underground natural gas cavern, causing the ground to collapse and the entire drilling rig to fall in. Having punctured a pocket of gas, poisonous fumes began leaking from the hole at an alarming rate. To head off a potential environmental catastrophe, the Soviets set the hole alight. The crater hasn't stopped burning since.  

Looks like my rear exit after a curry....

 
 

And today’s thought:
Second class travel

 
 

Angus

Monday 15 October 2012

Three Core War: Minister of nit-picking: Free-fall bears: 11,721,000,000,000,000 Euros phone bill: and the fastest pram......in the world...


Lack of lack of cold, less solar stuff, limited atmospheric movement and lower amounts of sky water at the Castle this morn.
Took a day orf yesterday, back to putting non coloured stuff on both sides of eight doors, the woodwork dahn the staircase and twenty yards of skirting boards today.

 

According to Three Core Cable what is left of Europe could be plunged into war if the Euro goes tits up, he thinks that “the consequences would be “incalculable” and added there was “no automatic guarantee” that Europe would not disintegrate into conflict.” 

 Just one thought; which countries can afford to go to war? Most of the European population is in Blighty.

 

 

Tory minister Owen Paterson is busy getting everyone around him up to speed… on the use of grammar.
The new Food Secretary has issued a strict guide detailing exactly how staff should draw up his paperwork – including the proper use of semicolons
Privately educated Mr Paterson is accused of losing sight of the big picture after instructing Whitehall mandarins never to start a sentence with “and” or “but” – and insisting neither word must appear next to a comma.
They are also told to “maximise the use of semicolons to link related clauses” and “there should be a verb either side of the semicolon”.
In the document, revealed under freedom of information laws, staff have been ordered to avoid dashes, limit colons to lists and “minimise the use of brackets”.
They are warned: “You will only ever get away with one set of brackets in a sentence.”
Mr Paterson, 56, who studied at £30,000-a-year Radley College and Cambridge, produced his nit-picking charter after David Cameron promoted him in last month’s Cabinet reshuffle following the sacking of Caroline Spelman.
 
Pillock Paterson's rules
Keep sentences short – the simpler the better
Avoid jargon, dashes and brackets
Use maximum of one ‘and’ per sentence
Never begin with ‘and’ or ‘but’ and never use them with a comma
Maximise semicolons to link related clauses; use a verb either side
Use colons to start lists; commas between items 

Nice to see that the Tory Tosspot has his priorities right, “if” he read-this blog; he would have a seizure: (wanker)....
 

 

Forget about the lunatic that threw himself out of a balloon 23 miles up, here are some real free fallers, Montana wildlife officials on Thursday had to sedate a black bear and her two cubs after they had climbed up a tree on the grounds of a hotel in Missoula. The bears fell into a net, and the hotel even provided pillows to help break their fall. 

Proper Job..,

 


Solenne San Jose, from Pessac, in the Bordeaux region of France, terminated her contract with Bouygues Telecom in September, reports the French newspaper Sud Ouest. When she got her bill on Sept. 28 with the cancellation fee, she said she "almost had a heart attack."
She was told 11,721,000,000,000,000 Euros — which is about $15 quadrillion or nearly 6,000 times more than her country's GDP — would automatically be withdrawn from her account.
"It was so many zeroes I couldn't even figure out how much it was," she told the newspaper.
Eventually, Bouygues admitted the amount was a mistake, but not before many frustrating hours of San Jose pleading and arguing with customer service reps on the phone.
One operator told her she could pay in instalments — 11,721 million, million of them.
 
Finally, they admitted the error. Her actual bill? $149.

 Well; if you don’t ask.....

 
And finally: 


A lazy new dad has built the world's fastest motorised pram to save the effort of having to push it.
Plumber Colin Furze added a powerful engine to his silver metal pushchair, giving it an incredible top speed of 50mph.
But the 33-year-old, from Stamford, Lincolnshire, says it's too powerful to go at top speeds with baby son Jake.
He spent four weeks and £450 designing and making the pushchair, which has a 125cc motorbike engine hidden between the wheels.
Mr Furze uses an accelerator and brake levers to control the speed, gears to go up hills, and the handle to steer.
 

Worzel Furze?

 
 

And today’s thought:
Time to get a life

 

Angus

Monday 8 October 2012

Tosspot CONference roundup: Worzel degree: Hot Tug: and Sorry-not!


Not much lack of cold, even less atmospheric movement, quite a lot of skywater, and not a glimmer of solar stuff at the Castle this morn.

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, still a mess, still expensive but there are fewer “shoppers” staggering about and even less interweb trolley robots.

A slight pause in putting the coloured stuff on me, the floors, walls and ceilings due to the unfortunate fact that I need to do a bit of plastering in the bedroom and the stairwell, but the good news is that I have finally got the hang of the ‘super duper’ paint pad system thingy...

 
And as the unelected bunch of rich bastards gather in Birmingham to let us know how they are going to screw us even more.
U-Turn Cam informed Mandrew Arr on Auntie yestermorn that there would not be a “mansion tax” on houses valued at over two squillion squids, instead together with the other unelected bit of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition will be targeting the rich with new measures to help balance the books.
The Prime Monster said his party would "level" with the public about the need for another £16 billion of spending cuts in 2015-16.
"We have to find these spending reductions and if we want to avoid cuts in things like hospitals and schools, services that we all rely on, we have to look at things like the welfare budget," he said.
 

Too fucking late knobhead, and let me guess who will not have to pay the “mansion tax”-U-Turn Cam, George (alien reptile in disguise) Osborne, the Irritable Bowel Twins and probably most of the rest of the Downing Street sideboard.

 
Still do not forget-WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
 

 

 

Son of a.....Baronet George (my mansion’s bigger than your mansion) Osborne is apparently going to thrill the young, sick, needy and unemployed with a cunning plan to hack yet another £10bn orf the cost of welfare.
Apparently George O has reached an agreement with the Irritable Bowel Twins to reduce welfare spending by another £10bn by 2016-17.
The planned £10bn cuts will be in addition to the reduction in welfare spending of £18bn by 2014 which the “Chancellor” announced in the Budget in March. They will be driven through in conjunction with the introduction of the Universal Credit, which replaces means-tested benefits and tax credits and will be rolled out from next year.
 

I suppose the only good bit is that by 2016 there may not be a Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition.

 

Is that the Irritable Bowel Twins have drawn up proposals for a significant reduction in benefit payments after 2015.
Young unemployed people could be forced to live with their parents rather than be allowed to claim housing benefit, and there are plans to cut the benefits of unemployed families who continue to have more children, and child benefit, income support or tax credits could be withheld from jobless families.
According to the GridIron nearly 1.2 million working adults will for the first time next year face losing some of their benefits if they do not comply with new state requirements to work longer hours, find an additional job or seek higher wages.
 The aim is to increase the incentives to work but it means that people will lose money if they don't find extra work, even if there is none available where they live.
There are currently 1.4 million people working part-time because they are unable to find full-time work – compared to 500,000 in 2004.
 

Don’t blame me-I didn’t vote for this load of dickheads, then again nor did anyone else...

 
That’s the end of the “serious stuff”...

 

Jamie Fox a graduate in music and English has bagged himself a Worzel of a job as a temporary scarecrow; he spends his days sitting, reading and strumming his ukulele and then leaps into action when birds begin to circle, scaring them with his bright orange coat, accordion and cow bell.
Jolly Jamie is halfway through a fortnight-long stint scaring partridges from a field of oilseed rape near Aylsham, Norfolk.

He said: "I get to sit and read for a lot of the time, but whenever the partridges appear I have to get up and scare them off.

"I ring a cowbell and I've even played the accordion, but the ukulele doesn't seem to have any effect on them."

Mr Fox, who lives in Aylsham, earns £250 a week for his efforts policing the 10-acre field for eight hours each day. He is saving for a planned trip to New Zealand next year.

 
Worth every penny of his thirty grand “education”...

 
 

Comes the HotTug, a floating thingy with about 2000 litres of water on board and a wood stove in the front of the boat to heat the water in about 2.5 hours up to 38 degrees Celsius (100 degrees F.) just by making a little fire with normal logs.
And you and up to seven “friends” can enjoy this experience for as little as € 8.950, or if you want to go the whole log € 16.450 for the HotTugboat E-power+ Boat + stainless steel wood burning heater + electric Minnkota RT 160 EM, 4 Zenith batteries of 6 volt / 400 Ah + charger. 

I kid you not.....
 

And finally:
 

Ever wanted to say the hardest word?
This isn’t the way to do it.
 

 

That’s it: I’m orf to tweet U-Turn Cam but I don’t think 140 characters will be enough.

 

And today’s thought:
Think he is going to need a bigger boat...

 

Angus

Wednesday 26 September 2012

“Difficult to explain” What’s his name: Cycle Pleb: The Shopper Chopper: Magic personalities: Tinned Eastern air: and a Mcfury.


Chucking it dahn, a definite dearth of lack of cold, not a hint of atmospheric movement and even less solar activity at the Castle this morn.

But the good news is that I don’t have to stagger around with the watering can...

And his Maj has discovered how to make a venetian blind disintegrate.
 

 


At the annual meeting of nonentities dahn on the sarf coast the non-gay deputy Prime Monster said giving free television licences, winter fuel payments and free bus passes to everyone was increasingly “difficult to explain”.
He called on well-off pensioners to help “make ends meet” by surrendering the handouts, warning it was not fair that Lord Sugar, the tycoon, for example, should be entitled to receive state assistance.

No nuts however pledged to continue to support universal benefits for the elderly, worth hundreds of pounds per person every year, until 2015 but suggested that the handouts are then reconsidered.

A Lib Dem health minister also indicated yesterday that the elderly would face paying higher taxes to fund their care in old age under reforms to be introduced later in the decade.
 

Still; the silver voters will sort this bollocks out at the next election...

 

 
The row continues over the chief lash and “Plebs”, shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper said the Prime Minister appeared determined to prevent the truth coming out.
While he has apologised for showing a lack of respect to the police, Mr Mitchell insisted he did not use the words attributed to him - prompting angry complaints from the Police Federation that he was effectively accusing the officers involved of lying.
The Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood last night attempted to draw a line under the matter, arguing that there was no purpose in holding an inquiry as the officer concerned had accepted Mr Mitchell's apology and did not wish to pursue the matter.
 
According to the Telegraph, the police log describes Mr Mitchell speaking to a female officer on Wednesday evening and "demanding exit through the main vehicle gate into Whitehall".
He was told that it was "policy" for cyclists to use the pedestrian gate.
"Mr Mitchell refused, stating he was the Chief Whip and he always used the main gates," the report goes on.
"I explained to Mr Mitchell that the policy was to use the side pedestrian gates and that I was happy to open those for him, but that no officer present would be opening the main gates as this was the policy we were directed to follow.

"Mr Mitchell refused. Repeatedly reiterating he was the Chief Whip... After several refusals Mr Mitchell got off his bike and walked to the pedestrian gate with me after I again offered to open that for him.

"There were several members of public present as is the norm opposite the pedestrian gate and as we neared it, Mr Mitchell said: 'Best you learn your f****** place... you don't run this f****** Government... You're ******* plebs.'

"The members of public looked visibly shocked and I was somewhat taken aback by the language used and the view expressed by a senior Government official. I cannot say if this statement was aimed at me individually, or the officers present or the police service as a whole."

The log states that the officer warned Mr Mitchell that he could be arrested for swearing.

"I warned Mr Mitchell that he should not swear, and if he continued to do so I would have no option but to arrest him under the Public Order Act, saying ‘Please doesn’t swear at me, sir. If you continue to I will have no option but to arrest you under the Public Order Act'," it states.

"Mr Mitchell was then silent and left saying 'You haven't heard the last of this' as he cycled off."

From the Urban Dictionary-

Pleb.

1) one who's inferior intelligence results in them making a complete titface out of themselves in public.

Arrogant twat...

 


Comes the Shopper Chopper, a nine-foot-tall small-block-Chevy-powered​attention-grabbing shopping cart with a 350 cubic-inch engine and 500+ LED lights. 

I want one! Imagine driving that dahn the aisles in Tesco’s and you wouldn’t even need to put a quid in the chainy lock thingy....

 

 
 
According to “experts” Taking magic mushrooms (psilocybin) can have a lasting change on the individual's personality, making them more open about their feelings and the way they perceive things.

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Baltimore, MD, USA, wrote in the Journal of Psychopharmacology. The authors explained that those who had mystic experiences while on psilocybin were more likely to subsequently exhibit certain personality changes, making them more forthcoming about their feelings, becoming more focused on being creative, curious, and appreciative about artistic things.

Psilocybin is a psychedelic drug - a substance whose main action is to alter perception and cognition. Its molecular formula is C12H17N2O4P. Its mind-altering effects are similar to those of mescaline and LSD. It effects may include, an altered sense of time, spiritual experiences, perceptual distortions, and thinking processes.
 

No wonder I enjoyed that Spag-Bol so much.......

 


Chen Guangbiao, a famous Chinese businessman and philanthropist, has launched a line of canned fresh air collected from various parts of China and Taiwan. The product is called “Chen Guangbiao: Nice Guy” and sells for about $0, 80.
He has recently started selling canned fresh air collected from “revolutionary” areas of China, including Jinggang Mountain in Jiangxi Province and some ethnic minority areas and Taiwan. ”One only has to open the can, directly ‘drink’ it or put the nose close to the can to breathe deeply,” Chen said. He also mentioned there is a chip in the can, and during the “packaging process”, when the negative oxygen ions reach a certain concentration the lid is triggered by the chip and closed. And since the air is compressed, it stays inside the can even without a lid,

And the gullible bit?

”Chen Guangbiao: Nice Guy” air cans were flying off the shelves from the first day they were introduced, and they sold out in a matter of days-100,000 cans.

I’ve got a load of old empty milk containers full of ‘Ampshire air if anyone wants to make an offer...

 
And finally:
 


Jayme John Leon walked into a local McDonald's in Oregon on September 23 and ordered a quarter pounder burger without onions. But when he returned home, Leon discovered the burger was in fact topped with onions.
When he called the restaurant to complain, Leon was told he was entitled not only to a refund but also to a free replacement burger.
Leon reportedly ate the offending burger anyway but still showed up at the McDonald's demanding a refund and fresh burger.
"Since he ate the quarter pounder, McDonald's would not refund his money, sending Mr. Leon into a McFury," Sgt. Claudio Grandjean, Gresham Police spokesman, told the paper.
After tossing the drink and breaking the register, Leon then left the restaurant and headed back home.
He was intercepted by police and has been charged with first-degree criminal mischief, second-degree disorderly conduct, and harassment.


And his toys were confiscated from his pram…
 


 
And today’s thought:
Cleggy Mercury.
 

 
Angus

Monday 24 September 2012

Bank of Bollocks: Pension properties: Not bringing home the bacon (or sausages): Nipple checks: ‘Eel not do that again: and a Teenage wanker who won’t be able to...


Dark, more than damp, dingy and drear at the Castle this morn, a surprising amount of lack of cold and double that amount of non atmospheric movement.

Had a day out with a few mates yesterday-it pissed dahn all day and all evening and all night.

 And Blogger is being a right pain in the Asaragus...hence the piss poor formatting...

 

Is about to give £1 billion of our loot to try to help firms struggling to borrow from traditional high street banks.
He claims the business bank will be a “lasting monument” underlining the need for fundamental reform of the banking system in the wake of the credit crisis.
There have been widespread complaints from small and medium-sized firms that banks are blocking access to finance and hindering their ability to expand.
According to the old fart “I am working with the Chancellor to develop a state-backed institution that will combine up to £1 billion of new government capital with a larger private sector contribution.”
 

Ye-fucking Gods! Here’s an idea-why not get back £1 billion of our money given to the Wanker Bankers and use that?

 
 

Middle-class parents and grandparents will be able to use money from their pension funds to give grown-up children a deposit to get on the housing ladder, the Liberal Democrats have promised.
The Deputy Prime Monster, revealed details of the “pensions for property” scheme at the Lib Dem conference in Brighton.
The scheme will be targeted at parents who have built up a pension fund worth around £40,000 and are nearing retirement.
Lib Dem officials estimated that around 250,000 households have pension assets of around that value.
They include many public sector workers including teachers and nurses.
Pension schemes typically allow members to take around a quarter of the value of the fund in a lump sum when they retire.
Some people use the money for home improvements, holidays or cars. Ministers said the scheme would allow them to forego such things and help their children instead.
Under the new scheme, parents would sign an agreement with their child’s mortgage lender promising that the lump sum will go towards the cost of the child’s home.
So a parent with a £40,000 pension pot would be able to promise £10,000 as a deposit on a child’s first home.
 

Have I slipped into an alternative universe while I was sleeping?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
Blighty is facing a bacon and sausage shortage as pig farmers reduce the size of their herds due to the
soaring price of feed.
A mass cull is under way among farmers who can no longer afford to feed their animals, according to the National Pig Association.
Droughts in North America and Russia have caused a global failure in the grain crop used for animal feed, pushing up the price.
The National Pig Association predicts Britain’s breeding stock will shrink by more than eight per cent by Christmas.
Chairman Richard Longthorp said: ‘There will be a shortage of pigs very soon and that will lead to spiralling prices.’
 
Piggin breakfast-or not...
 
 
It seems that beauty contests are a tad different in China, as well as measuring the contestant’s chest, waist, and hips an extra bit-the distance between nipples, if the nipples are not at least 20 centimetres apart, then the contestant is out.
 
Yet another job I have missed out on….
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A man with an eel lodged in his bottom has shown up at a New Zealand emergency department 
 
asking for help.
 
The unnamed man presented himself at the Auckland City Hospital for treatment last week, the New Zealand Herald reported.
 
X-rays revealed the eel "about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus," a hospital source told the newspaper.
 
The eel was removed and the man went on his way. The hospital confirmed the story to the newspaper, but revealed no further details in order to protect the man's privacy.
 
It was not clear how the eel had found its way inside the man. According to the newspaper, eels are secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover.
 
  
Bum Asparagus?
  
   
 
And finally:
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 A teenager accidentally shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning his new gun.
 
Michael Smeriglio had reportedly not had the gun for longer than a month when the bizarre (and painful) accident happened.
 
While cleaning his weapon 9the gun, not his knob) 18-year-old Smeriglio somehow pulled the trigger and fired a shot which went through his penis and left testicle.
 
 
Doctors say the bullet ended up getting lodged in his thigh, though Smeriglio is now recovering from the ordeal.
 
 
During their investigation of the incident, police reportedly found marijuana in the house.
 
 
Stone me, what a Plonker...
And today’s thought:
Bye-bye cruel world...
 
 
 

 
 
  
 
Angus