Showing posts with label santa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label santa. Show all posts

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Dorries Dahn Unda: McAlpine goes after ITV: The Pax is back-nearly: TOTO and doo-doo: Insect watches: and Santa hangs about.

Volumes of ex-skywater, very little solar stuff, even less lack of cold and vast amounts of opaque stuff up above at the Castle this morn.
Last trip (or two) dahn the dump this day, loaded the Honda up yestermorn with all and sundry stuff, a pile of old wood, an old office chair and about ten empty paint tins, ain’t life grand...

Dahn Unda

Dorries has been put in a box with oodles of flies and things to move washers about with a magnet.

Oh joy, shame it wasn’t U-turn Cam’s other bollock....


The lawyers of the lord of the building site McAlpine have decided to go after ITV for more than the £185,000 they took from our license fee. They contacted ITV after presenter Phillip Schofield handed the prime minister a list of alleged abusers live on the This Morning show on 8 November.
An ITV spokesman said: "We have received correspondence from Lord McAlpine's representatives and we will be responding in due course."
Others in the money magnet firing line include:

Comedian Alan Davies who has apologised to Lord McAlpine for naming him on Twitter in relation to the allegations.
Davies tweeted: "I've just written to Lord McAlpine to apologise for retweeting his name in relation to false allegations following a BBC investigation."

And a large number of Twitter users who made false claims.

 Wonder how much of our money he donated to “Children in Need”.


According to Paxman who has apparently been orf shooting other television series.
He will definitely return to Newsnight, 'I have been away filming, but I will definitely be there on Wednesday (November 21),' he told the Sunday Telegraph.

Can’t wait for that...


They are found in more than two-thirds of Japanese households and visitors to the country have marvelled at their heated seats, posterior shower jets and odour-masking function.

But for the company that has sold over 30 million high-tech toilets, commonly known as Washlets, global lavatory domination remains elusive, especially among shy US consumers.

The Washlet's functions, laid out on a computerised control panel with pictograms, include water jets with pressure and temperature controls, hot-air bottom dryers and ambient background music.

Another function produces a flushing sound to mask bodily noises -- a hit among the easily-embarrassed -- while some models have a lid that automatically swings open when users enter the restroom.

Others feature seats and lids that glide back into horizontal position, possibly solving gender battles over flipped-up toilet seats in the home.

Allegedly middle aged “Pop diva” Madonna gushed about Japanese culture during a 2005 visit and pointed to the Washlet as a key draw, saying "I've missed the heated toilet seats'' -- the kind of free marketing most companies dream about.

That’s got to be enough reason not to get one...


Tokyo Compression is an ongoing photo series by German-born artist Michael Wolf that shows daily commuters with their faces pressed against the steamy windows of Japan’s overcrowded subway trains.

Japan has one of the highest population densities in the world. Tokyo, its capital city, and the surrounding metropolitan area has a population of over 35 million, living in an area just 8,000 square kilometres in size.


They could do with a TOTO...or two...



JM Gershenson-Gates is a Chicago-based jeweller who creates accessories from discarded watch parts and old light bulbs, in a bid “to show the beauty of the mechanical world, a place generally hidden from the public behind metal and glass.”
On his website, Jason Gershenson-Gates says he has always been fascinated with mechanical things. The son of a “gearhead”, and the grandson of a railroad man, he used to always take apart his toys to see how they worked, but never seemed to be able to put them back together again. Nowadays, he takes apart old watches collected from all over the world and rearranges their parts into creepy crawly designs.

Rolled up newspaper time….

And finally: 

Officials at Broad Street Mall in Reading, England say that Santa Claus chose to dangle from the ceiling on Saturday for at least 30 minutes instead of disappointing hundreds of children by removing his beard after his whiskers got stuck in a rappelling accident.
British Army soldier Steve Chessell had been commissioned to play the part of Santa and rappel through a mall skylight during the annual Christmas-lights switch-on show when things went horribly wrong, according to The Reading Chronicle.
“He could have just taken his beard off and let himself down but he was such a professional and he didn’t want to let the children down,” Broad Street Mall marketing manager Stephanie Maynard told the BBC. “He lost his footing as he came through the hole in the ceiling and there was a sudden jolt and he got caught in the clip on the rope.”

I would like to point out to anyone that believes in the Crimbo King that the very slim person in Santa’s suit is an imposter because the real one is busy at the Norf pole abusing dwarfs, elves and reindeer.


And today’s thought from my old mate Bernard

Wonder if it available for all MPs?



Friday, 16 December 2011

Low Carbon con: Out but In: Bus Puss: Texas prezzies: Kitten classes: and Crimbo is orf in Wales.

Oodles of fast moving atmosphere, wet stuff and a whimsy of white fluffy stuff at the Castle this morn, the study is still replete with misbehaving machines, his Maj has decided that going out is orf the agenda and the butler is stuffing fat teenagers into the furnace faster than even U-Turn Cam can change what is laughingly called his mind. 


According to “them” the costs of wind farms and other low-carbon technology will not lead to sharp rises in fuel bills.
The Committee on Climate Change (CCC) says increases in bills over the past few years have been largely due to higher wholesale gas costs.
Members said their "best estimate" was that green policies would add £110 to bills per household in 2020.
It emerged recently that an estimated 1.5m people are in fuel debt in the UK.
The combined gas and electricity bill for typical households could go up from £1,060 in 2010 to £1,250 in 2020, according to analysis by the committee.
But further energy efficiency measures - such as loft and wall cavity insulation - could see the projected 2020 bill fall to £1,085 per household, it said.
CCC chief executive David Kennedy said the committee had analysed the impact of investing in technology including offshore and onshore wind, nuclear and carbon capture and storage.
Mr Kennedy said the cost of this investment was "significantly" outweighed by the benefits - including a reduced reliance on imported fossil fuels.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda.....

And allegedly: 

British officials are to take part in discussions on plans for a new EU fiscal pact, despite U-Turn Cam refusing to sign up to the agreement.
The Prime Monster agreed the move in a phone call with the president of the European Council, Herman von Rompuy.
The decision comes as the head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Christine Lagarde warned Europe's debt crisis would not be solved by Europe alone and called on all countries to work together to avoid a 1930s-style depression.
It also follows the first signs of cracks forming in the new European Union finance deal signed up by all EU countries except the UK at the Brussels summit last week with the leaders of the Czech Republic and Hungary announcing they will not sign the pact unless tax harmonisation plans are dropped.

Do I give a gorilla’s gonads? Nah...

Dodger the 15-year-old tom boards buses for up to 10 miles, sits on passengers’ laps and gets off without paying. Drivers even know his home bus stop.
Dodger’s servant Mrs Fee Jeanes, 44, said: “My daughter Emily told me one of her friends had seen him on the bus at Charmouth. I panicked and then the bus pulled up and he got off.
“That afternoon I saw Dodger climb on another bus and I rushed to tell the driver. She told me Dodger was always on there. Sometimes he sits in the middle of the road and waits.”
A spokesman for bus firm First said: “Given this cat is elderly we suspect it would be eligible for free travel, perhaps a bus puss.”

I can’t get my bus pass until March 2013...

A North Texas police department is handing out gift cards instead of tickets.
This week, the Prosper Police Department is rewarding good traffic habits.
The majority of the giving happens in schools zone. Police stop people dropping off their kids to surprise them with the $10 gift cards.
"There's such a high concentration of drivers at pick-up and drop-off times that we can safely approach those vehicles," Assistant Prosper Police Chief Gary McHone said. "Maybe they had a safe speed coming into a parking lot, their inspections were up-to-date, they were using the safety belts in the vehicles, and their child was in a safety restraint."
McHone said it's their way to live up to a well-known police motto.
"To protect and serve -- I think this is a key component in serving is to acknowledge and give thanks to our community," McHone said.

 UK plod take note.....

An Australian vet is offering one-to-one obedience classes for cats.
Nicole Hoskin claims she can train kittens to sit, stay and fetch.
One of her most challenging students so far has been a 10-week-old hearing-impaired kitten called Buzz.
The youngster needs to learn hand commands because he is unlikely to ever respond to vocal commands.
Dr Hoskin said: "He's been dumped and is going to be harder to re-home so I've had to teach him to pay attention to me.
"Already he's sitting on command and high-fiving with one paw and he can high-10 with both paws over his head."
Originally, Dr Hoskin offered a service similar to puppy obedience classes but the project failed.
"If you get more than one cat in a room, the claws come out," she said.
She says dogs learn just to please their owners, but cats will only pay attention for food rewards.

Tell me something I don’t know....

And finally:

Thousands of children have been left heartbroken after Father Christmas was turned away from their school – for criminal checks.
The Welsh Assembly has ordered that all Santa’s be vetted by the Criminal Records Bureau.
But the demand came too late for many schools in Pembrokeshire, south Wales, which have been forced to abandon their traditional gift-giving events.
Pembrokeshire MP Stephen Crabb branded the cancellation of Christmas in schools – which often involves fathers and grandfathers – as ‘red tape gone mad’.
The Tory said: ‘Criminal record checks were never supposed to be used for volunteers that sustain and support so much of school life on an infrequent basis.
Volunteers from Fishguard and Goodwick Round Table have accompanied Santa into schools for several years but now felt their ‘hands were tied’.
Chairman Peter Devonald said: ‘Our Father Christmas is CRB checked but we all have to have CRB checks to accompany him.
But a government spokesman said: ‘It is for Pembrokeshire county council to ensure appropriate checks are made on staff and volunteers who come into contact with children.’


And today’s thought:


Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Postal penalty; Marmite sentence; Angels can’t fly; Show us your helmet; and the Santa substitute robber.

Still freezing, but it didn’t snow during the dark thing, they are threatening that a large bright UFO will appear in the sky, it has been seen before those that have seen it call it the Sun.

We live in hope.

As do the “Postal service” apparently who have decided to raise the price of first and second class stamps to 41p and 32p respectively, in order to “save the universal postal service.”

The price of mail sent by small businesses will not change, remaining at 36p and 25p for standard letters. Royal Mail insisted that the cost of posting a standard letter in Britain was still among the lowest in Europe.

Putting up prices, a great way to attract more custom.

I blogged about this a while ago, and it seems that justice has been done.

A serial Marmite thief, Nicholas Welch, who forced a petrol station to stop stocking the spread after he continually stole every jar, has been convicted of shoplifting.

The 30 year-old was spotted several times on CCTV walking into the garage and swiping dozens of pots of the condiment.
In total he stole 18 jars of the £2.79 yeast extract spread on four separate occasions worth over £50 from the 24-hour W. Grose Shell Garage in Kingsthorpe, Northants.

Welch was finally caught when CCTV images were circulated among members of Northampton Retail Crime Initiative (NRCI) who recognised his face on their database of prolific offenders.

At Northampton Magistrates' Court Welch was handed a 12-month supervision order.

He will remain on the NRCI's list of known shoplifters for the next year is banned from more than 150 shops around the town including W Grose.

Justice......well sort of.

Angels depicted heralding the birth of Jesus in nativity scenes across the world are anatomically flawed, according to a scientist who claims they would never be able to fly.

He has even had a go at Christmas tree fairies-“and found the angels and fairies that sit atop of Christmas trees did not get there under their own steam.”

“Even a cursory examination of the evidence in representational arts shows that angels and cherubs cannot take off and cannot use powered flight,” said Prof Wotton. “And even if they used gliding flight, they would need to be exposed to very high wind velocities at take off - such high winds that they would be blown away and have no need for wings.

That’s the trouble with scientists-no faith.

From down under and East a bit: Police picked up two naked men on a late night bike ride in a New Zealand town but let them off with a warning: put on helmets.

“They were wanting to experience total freedom,” said Senior Constable Cathy Duder, who stopped the pair about 10 p.m. on a recent night in the beach resort town of Whangamata. She told them: “You may experience total confinement. You should head home and get helmets.”

The duo turned tail and headed directly back to their house, Duder told The Associated Press on Wednesday. She said she did not see them again during her shift, and it was not known if they donned helmets and resumed their ride.

Public nudity can attract a charge of offensive behaviour in New Zealand, but Duder said she cut the two men a break.

“It was dark and there was no one else around. They were jovial young men who had not intended to cause offense,” she said.

She described the two as “happy young men in their mid-20s ... they appeared to be as sober as two judges.”

No helmets! Painful.

And finally:

From West a lot: a man wearing a Santa Claus suit — including hat, beard and moustache — and dark sunglasses robbed a SunTrust Bank on Tuesday morning, demanding money from the teller at gunpoint.

After the teller complied, the man fled in a gray midsize car

See! It couldn’t have been Santa no sleigh!




Angus Dei politico

NHS Horror Stories

Friday, 27 November 2009

Bah humbug!; Darwin Numpty; Flatulent Porker; Not Mushroom inside; and You VILL TURN RIGHT!!

Not quite as knackered today, and looking forward to my phone conversation with someone at my GPs surgery regarding the Vaccination letters received yesterday (see yesterday’s second post).

I am watching BBC news at the moment and the boss of the CQC, Baroness Young is trying to fudge the Basildon Hospital deaths, mainly by blaming Monitor, and saying that the CQC doesn’t have the power to do anything, although they have managed to prosecute the owner of a Beauty chain for using hair removal lasers without registration.

Should be interesting, post on Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE later.


The Gov’s (our) deficit is increasing at £3 Billion a week, The government borrowed some £11.4 billion in October, bringing the total borrowed so far this year to £86.9 billion - the highest running total in history - according to the Office for National Statistics.

The news is particularly embarrassing since October is usually one of the best months of the year for the public finances, since it is when much of the corporate tax receipts arrive in Whitehall. The Conservatives pointed out that the shortfall in October was 88 times more than the same month last year.

Economists said it was now all but certain that the Chancellor, Alistair Darling, would miss his borrowing forecast of £175bn this fiscal year.

How does it go again.......Prudence?

First up:

A sullen Santa Claus has been sacked from his job for being too grumpy.

The "Grinch-like" Father Christmas was axed from a festive lights switch-on for his "inept and sullen" performance.

The disastrous appearance of the lookalike also saw him failing to communicate with children during the event in Evesham, Worcestershire.

The stand-in for the real and jovial Santa was supposed to be one of the main attractions at the event but the performer was slammed by organisers who branded him "inept and disinterested".

Hundreds of townsfolk flocked to the event where Santa was supposed to ride in gloriously on a sleigh pulled by reindeer and give out plenty of sweets as he chatted to children about what they wanted for Christmas.

But while he did ride in on a sleigh, he distributed just a few sweets, only spoke twice to children and had his head down for most of the event.

Lew Hammond, manager of Evesham Market Town Partnership, said: "It was a disaster. The Father Christmas has now been sacked and the fee cancelled and we have also been given an extra GBP50 for the poor performance.
"That’s a first, too. We haven't had damages awarded before."

I would make a good Santa, I love kids, and have found that they are best slowly roasted on a spit.

From South a lot and over a bit: A bomb technician was called to a Darwin home last night to remove an explosives detonator that a man had driven over three times "to see what would happen", Northern Territory Police say.

The device had been in the home for six months, since the 29-year-old male resident brought it home from work, before he contacted police to have it removed.

"He also informed us that he had run over the device three times in his motor vehicle to see what would happen," Superintendent John Emeny said.

"The attending police officers confirmed the device was a badly crumpled detonator and a bomb technician from the Territory response squad was called in to remove it.

He said the man's decision to drive over the device was risky.

"It goes without saying that any kind of explosive device has the potential to cause serious injury and should be left alone," Superintendent Emeny said.

"And if you locate a suspicious item just leave it where it is and contact police."

Maybe they should charge him with failing the “Darwin test”.

Also from South a lot and then South a bit more: Fire fighters called to a reported gas leak on a farm in southern Australia traced the source to a 120kg pig with an irritable bowel.

"When we got to the property where the 'alert' was, these people had a pig, a big sow, which was about 20m away from the house," Country Fire Authority captain Peter Harkins told a Melbourne radio station on Thursday.

"I don't know what they were feeding this thing but we certainly heard it."

Harkins said the owner of the flatulent pig had apologised for calling 15 fire-fighters to his farm at Axedale, near Bendigo.

"He was a little bit embarrassed to say the least. It took us a little while to compose ourselves, to speak to him," Harkins said of Tuesday's incident.

"It was fairly obvious what it was.

"I think we dealt with it fairly professionally and had a bit of a giggle when we got back to the station."

Combustible Porcine.

From East quite a bit and then down a little: Indian police in Kashmir seized a $US3 million ($A3.22 million) haul of a rare fungus touted as 'Himalayan Viagra' for its supposed aphrodisiac properties.

Four men were arrested with 90 kilograms of the fungus, caterpillar mushroom; in the mountainous Ladakh region in the Indian portion of Kashmir, said Bhim Sen Tuti, a police officer.

They were allegedly trying to smuggle the fungus into China, he said.

The fungus is traditionally used in Chinese medicines as an aphrodisiac and for treating fatigue and diseases including cancer.

The street value of the haul was $US3 million, police said.

If convicted, the four face jail terms ranging from seven years to life imprisonment for violating India's Wildlife, Forest and Biodiversity laws, Tuti said.

“Stiff” sentence, (think about it).

And finally:

Martin Pohlmann, 38, ended up in hospital after the crash, causing £20,000 of damage to the property at Neuss, Germany after his sat nav ordered him to TURN RIGHT!

One eyewitness told the Austrian Times: "The car was travelling along perfectly normally then suddenly turned right and ploughed straight into the shop window."
The car was a write-off and had to be towed away.

You VILL OBEY Numpty.




Angus Dei politico

Monday, 16 November 2009

Part time crims; Flash bang bus; Wrong type of man; Better late book borrower; Whisky with ice; and Creepy Santa

Monday again, BF300 overnight, I woke up feeling as if I have been beaten up by a bunch of psychotic elves with big elvy weapons.

And to cap it all I have the “dropsies” this dark and damp morn, so far I have managed to drop a 3Kg bag of dry cat food, which looks much more when it is spread across the kitchen floor; after cleaning that up I dropped a litre of milk which luckily bounced, but then after making my morning cuppa-down it went and landed in my favourite boots which were ready to don.

Then after my shower, I over squeezed the toothpaste tube and ended up with three inches of white stuff down the handle of the toothbrush, do you know how hard it is to get toothpaste back in the tube?

Anyone know how to get tea out of suede?

I see that one in five Primary school children are being Cyber bullied, and many of the 227 10 and 11-year olds questioned said they used social networking sites, even though users are meant to be over 13.

Campaigners say parents must learn how to help children protect themselves.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance (ABA), which is a charity bringing together 60 organisations, also released the findings of a survey of parents on cyber bullying at the start of 'Anti-bullying week'.

The research involved 1,163 people in England who have children aged between eight and 14. It was conducted by BMRB in October 2009.

The chairman of the ABA, Christopher Cloke, said: "Parents and schools need to be aware that cyber bullying is affecting younger age groups as more children get mobile phones and have computer access.

"Nationally we know that around 22% of secondary school pupils have suffered cyber bullying, but until now we did not know younger age groups were also seriously affected.

And when the gutless bullies grow up they become Blog Bullies.


Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has called for the Queen's Speech to be cancelled and replaced with emergency reforms to "clean up politics".

Nick Clegg.....who cares.

First up:

The number of prisoners who are allowed out of prison overnight has trebled as the Government tries to ease overcrowding in jails.

The Conservatives say Ministry of Justice figures obtained by the party show the number of people granted a Resettlement Overnight Release (ROR) licence went up from 3,813 in 2006 to 11,559 in 2008.

Prisoners nearing the end of their sentence can apply for a number of ROR licences, which allow them to spend up to four nights away from their cells before release.

The Conservatives claim that because prisoners not in jail overnight are not counted in the prison population figures, the shortage of cells is being underestimated.

Shadow justice secretary Dominic Grieve said: "While there is a case for allowing some prisoners to stay home overnight as they approach release in order to re-establish community links and aid their transition back into society, overnight release should never be used simply because of a lack of prison cells.

"The trouble is that Labour's incompetent management has yet again brought prisons back to bursting point."

But a Prison Service spokesman said: "ROR exists to rehabilitate offenders and make communities safer, not to relieve population pressures. We are dealing with those pressures by putting in more prison places, with nearly 25,000 created since 1997.

Gives them a chance to case a few joints I suppose.

A FLASHER on board a Hamilton bus in New Zealand has led the driver to crash into a police station.

A 14-year-old male passenger allegedly exposed himself to a female passenger on the bus on Friday morning, causing her to scream.

The bus driver called his company office, who advised him to take the bus to the nearest police station.

When the bus arrived at the Hamilton North Community Policing Centre, the driver activated the emergency door lock, thinking the bus was in neutral.

But the bus was still in gear and rolled into the station entranceway, hitting an arch, cracking the bus windscreen and causing minor damage to the building.

No one was injured and the 14-year-old boy was arrested and charged with carrying out an indecent act.

No good deed...........

If you are amongst this lot:

Dominant men: Gone are the days when a male dominated society used to be the way of life. So, if the next time you try to show your superiority in front of your girl, it might land you in a tight spot.

Women prefer mates who're recognized by their peers for their skills, abilities, and achievements – and not those who use coercive tactics to subordinate their rivals, reveals a new study.

Expert says: Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counsellor says, “Dominant behaviour is highly opposed by a female partner as she wants to enjoy the bond with equal respect. In any relationship, if one partner tries to have the upper hand in taking all decisions and if they portray their dominant self, it will not do any good to that relationship.”

Macho guys aren’t always lucky: A macho guy with an angry young man personality might look good on silver screen, but when it comes to real life, women aren’t game to hang around with macho dudes. A recent study claims that macho guys don't always get the girls. The study further revealed that the most aggressive guys ended up with fewer wives and children.

Expert says: Personality development expert Varun Chhabra says, “Women today are more keen to pick a guy who flaunts a good body combined with a metro sexual image rather than the typical rough and tough hunk. Men who look tough from the outside and bear a soft heart within are women’s favourite.”

Keep sex starved men at bay: Men are usually sexually more charged up. But when it comes to choosing a mate, women don't opt for a sexually ravenous partner. This is maybe because for such men, sex is the top priority in the relationship whereas the woman continuously seeks love and romance, sans physical intimacy.

Expert says: Relationship and sex counsellor Dr. Geetu Bhardwaj shares, “It’s not that women are not keen to have sex with their partner, but a man’s sexual inclination does plan an important role when it comes to choosing their partner. Women generally aren’t too comfortable with the idea of being with a man who has sex on his mind throughout the day. In such relationships, things like understanding and love are secondary and sexual intimacy is all that matters for the male partner.”

Chauvinism is out completely: Remember Bobby Deol’s chauvinistic character in Dostana, which was enough to drive his lady nuts. An excess of anything is bad. Women don’t find a chauvinistic man a great companion to spend the rest of their lives with.

Expert says: Dr. Ratan Kumar, a clinical psychologist asserts, “There is a very thin line of demarcation between being a gentleman and chauvinist. A girl might love your care and concern, but your over chauvinistic attitude may irritate her at times. Make an attempt to give enough space to her and let the comfort zone be there as per mutual convenience.”

Using slangs won’t take you anywhere: Using abusive lingo every time you indulge in a conversation might lend you a cool dude look cool in front of your male peers, but girls don’t want to hang around with an abusive man. Being too abusive and stressing on using slangs too often is a ‘turn off’ for today’s women.

Expert says: Psychiatrist Dr. Anupam Randhawa states, “Men need to realise that a woman would like to be associated with a respectful and well-behaved mate. So using excess of slang language and abusive words during conversations can backfire. The reason why women keep such partners at bay is because they find it offensive when their man gets abusive as it comes as a gesture of disrespect to the relationship.”

That’s me totally bollocksed then.

A high school librarian in Phoenix says a former student at the Arizona school returned two overdue books checked out 51 years ago along with a $1,000 money order to cover the fines.

Camelback High School librarian Georgette Bordine says the two Audubon Society books checked out in 1959 and the money order were sent by someone who wanted to remain anonymous.

Bordine says the letter explained that the borrower's family moved to another state and the books were mistakenly packed.

The letter said the money order was to cover fines of 2 cents per day for each book. That would total about $745. The letter says the extra money was added in case the rates had changed.

Bordine says the money will buy more books, and the overdue books will be returned to the shelves.

Or just a pri..........?

A team of New Zealanders is preparing to drill in Antarctica in the New Year, and they hope to strike -- whisky.

Among the supplies British explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton abandoned on his unsuccessful 1909 expedition to the pole were two crates of the now extinct rare old brand of McKinlay and Co whisky.

Now Whyte & Mackay, the drinks giant that owns McKinlay and Co, has asked for a sample of the drink for a series of experiments, the Telegraph newspaper reported in London.

The New Zealanders will use special drills to free the trapped crates and rescue a bottle from the crates, discarded near the Cape Royds hut used by the Nimrod expedition, or at least draw off a sample using a syringe.

The crates were discovered in January 2006, but the bottle couldn't be removed as they were too deeply embedded.

Although the New Zealanders have agreed to try to retrieve some bottles, international protocols agreed by 12 Antarctic Treaty nations say the crates can be taken off Antarctica for only conservation reasons.

A program manager with the Antarctic Heritage Trust, Al Fastier, who is leading the expedition to Cape Royds in January, said he did not want to sample the contents.

He said: "It's better to imagine it than to taste it. That way it keeps its mystery."

The whisky was found under the floorboards of the hut while workers were clearing out a century's worth of ice.

Richard Paterson, Whyte & Mackay's master blender, has said that if he can get a sample, he intends to replicate the famous old whisky.

If the experiment is successful, original McKinlay whisky could be put back on sale.

"I really hope we can get some back here. It's been laying there lonely and neglected. It should come back to Scotland, where it was born.

"Even if most of the bottles have to remain in Antarctica for historic reasons, it would be good if we could get a couple."

Mr Paterson said the Shackleton expedition's whisky could still be drinkable and taste exactly how it did 100 years ago.

And then again...........

And finally:

A controversial giant Santa Claus decoration has been reinstalled in Auckland's city centre to the horror of some locals who say it is "too creepy".

The 20-metre-high fibreglass Santa has been attached to the side of a book shop in Queen Street over Christmas for almost 50 years.

But it has undergone major cosmetic surgery after Aucklanders complained his smile looked sinister and his beckoning finger was scaring children.

Last year, the Santa had broken apart and been stuck together with what looked like a giant band-aid.

It has been under the knife for the past four months, with Santa's face currently wrapped in white bandages that are due to be removed on Sunday.

But some locals say the bandages are creepier than the old face, with one mother looking up at the decoration saying: "This is every child's worst nightmare".

American tourist Edward said he could not believe his eyes when he saw Santa's face covered by bandages.

"Santa in bondage. It's a very funny thing. They just couldn't wait to bring it out," he said.

"He does look kind of sad up there, doesn't he?"

Aucklander Phil McGrath said he had just finished his banking when he noticed the face.

"He looks like he's had Botox. A bit of plastic surgery for Santa this year," he said.

"[The old Santa's] eyes were freaky, very scary. I remember taking my niece and she looked up and started crying."

The bandages come off on Sunday and Mr McGrath says he is going to come down to watch the unveiling.





Angus Dei politico

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

iPanic; Sign of the crimes; Noonamah jumpers; Gym slip; and Technophobe Santa’s

BF 9 last thingy, weather cold, news is even worse.

Dave C is about to try to worm his way out of his promise of a referendum on the Lisbon treaty, but the goodish news is that we can leave Europe if we want-let’s do that then.

And: It seems that it will cost £4,350 per “family” in taxes to procure the latest bank bailout, thanks Ali and Gord.

First up:

People scared of flying can now press a button on their iPhone to help them deal with their panic.

Long-haul airline Virgin Atlantic Airways has launched an application, or app, for its Flying Without Fear course which boasts a success rate of over 98 percent. Apps are a source of information, games and other novelty ideas for users of Apple's iPhone and iPod Touch devices.

The airline said in a statement that this app was designed to help people overcome fear, be it of the unfamiliar aircraft, the strange noises a plane makes, or of losing control.

"The app will put many travellers at ease and enable them to prepare for their first Virgin Atlantic flight."
The airline developed the app with Mental Workout, a company developing software to help people resolve issues and increase mental performance. A spokesman from Mental Workout said an estimated one in every three adults were scared of flying.

The Flying Without Fear app has an introduction by Branson, a video-based in-flight explanation of a flight, frequently asked questions, relaxation exercises and a fear attack button for emergencies with breathing exercises.

And what about those that don’t have an iPhone?

From over the pond:- BEDFORD, Pa. — In exchange for jail time, a woman and her adult daughter have agreed to stand outside a courthouse holding signs saying they stole a gift card from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday.

Fifty-six-year-old Evelyn Border and 35-year-old Tina Griekspoor stood outside the court for 4 1/2 hours Tuesday. They held signs that read: “I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!”

Because the women agreed to hold the signs, Bedford County District Attorney Bill Higgins says he’ll ask for probation instead of jail when they plead guilty to the theft.

Higgins says they swiped a gift card that the girl set on a shelf while a Wal-Mart employee helped her.

The girl’s mother planned to drive by the courthouse to teach her daughter the importance of obeying the law

Sign of the times?

From underneath: While most people were watching the race that stops the nation, locals at a Northern Territory hotel gathered for a very different kind of race.

The annual frog race at the Noonamah Tavern, 45 kilometres south of Darwin, attracted a crowd of about 300 people.

Twenty-four green tree frogs were pitted against each other as trainers used spray bottles filled with water to prod them into action.

The frogs have a much shorter distance to hop than their thoroughbred counterparts in the Melbourne Cup, but some took a while to get moving.

The frogs were auctioned off before the race, with one fetching more than $2,000.

The winning frog, which was called XXXX Summer, will earn almost $12,000 dollars for its owner, while $9000 has gone to charity.

Time to hop it.

A man who wore women's clothing to use his dead wife's gym membership has appeared in a Hong Kong court.

Lau Siu-wah, 51, was charged after he allegedly used his wife's identification card to exercise in the female-only section of the gym at the city's Sheraton hotel, The Standard daily reported on Tuesday (local time).

But the man's looks aroused suspicion and police were called, the report said, adding that Lau was quickly arrested.

The paper said Lau admitted to police that he used the card to impersonate his wife, who died in 2007.

Lau, who appeared in court Monday in women's clothes and wearing red nail polish, was granted bail on a charge that he used an identity card relating to another person, the paper said.

The case was adjourned until later this month.

What worries me is that no one who works at the gym noticed until he got to the women’s’ section.

And finally:

Baffled Santa’s are being sent on a crash course in hi-tech toys to help them keep up with today's gadget-obsessed kids.

The training scheme was launched after ageing Santa’s complained they couldn't understand what children were asking for in their Christmas lists.

An online helpline has also been set up so Santa’s can call experts and ask for technical advice on computer games, consoles, cameras, and MP3 players.

Jeremy Fennell from PC World told The Sun: "There are more than 40,000 different gadgets and technologies on sale right now, a great many of which are going to be on children's Christmas lists.

"The Santa’s we are training are going to be faced with a very technically literate and technology savvy generation of youngsters over the next two months and we want them to be able to show that they understand what these kids are asking for.

"Nothing could be more depressing than being asked by Santa what you want for Christmas and finding he doesn't have a clue what you're talking about."

Santa’s from across the UK will be attending the training before heading to grottos across Britain.

A recent study found that only one in five Father Christmases had heard of the Nintendo DSi white while less than one in 10 knew about the must-have Sony reader.

One Santa, from Leicester, said: "There are so many new gadgets around now that I don't have the time to keep up with all the latest ones.

"It was much easier when all kids wanted was Connect 4 or a Scalextric but now they're asking for things like a Flip Mini Chrome Camcorder which, before my training, meant nothing to me."

And still means nothing to me.




Angus Dei politico