Showing posts with label satnav. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satnav. Show all posts

Friday, 21 October 2011

Longannet power station cancelled: Up your Councillors: Breast slapping: Bruton sat-nav Numpty: 64 days in Tesco’s: and a big family.

Cold, calm and sunny at the castle this morn, the butler is inserting fat teenagers into the furnace, his Maj took one sniff of the day at the rear exit and jumped onto the chair by the radiator and the Honda is covered in white crusty stuff for the first time this year.

Bit late this Friday-overslept.

I see that Gaddafi is a goner-oh dear what a shame, now our forces can come home and join the dole queue, and allegedly the world has heated up by one degree C since 1800, only another 211 years before the heating bill comes down then.


The flagship project at Longannet, the huge power station on the Firth of Forth, fell apart after the consortium planning to build it, headed by Scottish Power and including Shell and the National Grid, demanded considerably more investment than the £1bn which the Government had set aside for the scheme.
The project's collapse is a blow to Britain's declared aim of being the first country with a full-scale generating plant employing carbon capture and storage (CCS) – a complex new technology which takes CO2 out of power station waste gases, liquefies it, and buries it deep underground, or in this case under the North Sea. CCS is seen as a crucial technique in reducing carbon emissions, which Britain has pledged to cut by 80 per cent by 2050.
The Energy Secretary, Chris (no nuclear/yes nuclear) Huhne, was quick to point out yesterday that CCS remained a key part of Britain's energy strategy and that the £1bn would remain available for other CCS projects.

Or maybe not........


Members of Cambridgeshire County Council will see their allowances package increase from £7,610 a year to £9,500 after they approved the deal.
The decision attracted condemnation from union leaders, who branded its timing “incredibly insensitive”, while council workers were being made redundant.
Under the changes, approved by 33 votes to 29, the Tory council’s leader, Nick Clarke, will enjoy a £38,000 annual allowances package – up from £29,856.
Other councillors with additional responsibilities for holding cabinet posts and chairing committees will see larger increases in their pay.

 Tory see, Tory snatch.....

Apparently for those women who want bigger headlights there is a new craze.
 The government of Thailand is promoting the controversial technique known as “breast- slapping” which involves kneading, massaging and hitting breasts as well as the buttocks in order to firm the rear.
One beauty shop in Bangkok has been licensed to perform the non-surgical treatment and owner, Khemmikka Na Songkhla, better known as Khunying Tobnom, claims that proper application of the technique, which involves six ten-minute sessions, can be painful but effectively boost breast size by up to two inches.
Government approval came after the Health Ministry of the Thai government conducted a six-month study about this procedure after one client erroneously claimed she developed breast cancer from the technique.
Results indicated that the vigorous massage did increase the size of the breasts of those women who volunteered for the study with no health-related consequences.
The Ministry not only endorsed her procedure, they even sponsored a special program urging women to learn how to slap their own breasts.

The breast slapping clinic is open seven days a week from 8 till 5 at the Castle....

A lorry driver ended up with a face as red as the cab of his truck after a satnav blunder left him stuck in a narrow alley in the village of Bruton.
The driver, who remains anonymous, was delivering soft drinks in the sleepy village and was searching for a parking space when his lorry became stuck between a house and an estate agents.
Thanks to the lanes steep incline, he was unable to reverse back up the street and had no choice but to stay put and endure the taunts of the locals, who found the whole incident much more amusing than his boss.
The driver was forced to sleep in his cab overnight while a rescue team was sent out to tow him back up the street, causing minor damage to property, and has since been suspended from his job at Ian Crank Soft Drinks.

Cranky sat-nav?

We spend 64 days of our life walking around supermarkets, a study has found.
The average Briton covers 22,784 miles – equivalent to going around the globe – travelling to stores and traipsing the aisles.
Some 47 per cent are so obsessed with finding grocery bargains they visit at least two supermarkets a week.
And one in 20 now spends up to 30 minutes seeking deals on price comparison websites before heading out.
Saving on household goods such as toilet rolls is a priority for 76 per cent, according to the research by Sainsbury’s.
Cheap meat and poultry is our second target followed by fresh fruit and veg, toiletries and canned and packaged goods. But 55 per cent say they get frustrated and annoyed by the whole experience.

 Join the club....

 And finally: 

Ziona Chana is head of the world’s largest family, which has 181 members – him, 39 wives, 94 children, 14 daughters-in-law and 33 grandkids.
Although the construction worker, whose youngest child is five, certainly has his hands full – and, in one of our pictures, his head in his hands – he insists he is blessed. Ziona, 67 said: “I consider myself a lucky man to be the husband of 39 women and head of the world’s largest family.”

Life at the family’s 100-room, four-storey house in Baktwang, India, is run with military precision, with first wife Zathiangi, 71, organising all the others when it comes to domestic chores.

 The mind boggles....

That’s it: I’m orf to apply for a Phytophtora lateralis grant. 

And today’s thought: The pen is mightier than the sword; unfortunately the sword has been superseded by the gun......


Friday, 27 November 2009

Bah humbug!; Darwin Numpty; Flatulent Porker; Not Mushroom inside; and You VILL TURN RIGHT!!

Not quite as knackered today, and looking forward to my phone conversation with someone at my GPs surgery regarding the Vaccination letters received yesterday (see yesterday’s second post).

I am watching BBC news at the moment and the boss of the CQC, Baroness Young is trying to fudge the Basildon Hospital deaths, mainly by blaming Monitor, and saying that the CQC doesn’t have the power to do anything, although they have managed to prosecute the owner of a Beauty chain for using hair removal lasers without registration.

Should be interesting, post on Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE later.


The Gov’s (our) deficit is increasing at £3 Billion a week, The government borrowed some £11.4 billion in October, bringing the total borrowed so far this year to £86.9 billion - the highest running total in history - according to the Office for National Statistics.

The news is particularly embarrassing since October is usually one of the best months of the year for the public finances, since it is when much of the corporate tax receipts arrive in Whitehall. The Conservatives pointed out that the shortfall in October was 88 times more than the same month last year.

Economists said it was now all but certain that the Chancellor, Alistair Darling, would miss his borrowing forecast of £175bn this fiscal year.

How does it go again.......Prudence?

First up:

A sullen Santa Claus has been sacked from his job for being too grumpy.

The "Grinch-like" Father Christmas was axed from a festive lights switch-on for his "inept and sullen" performance.

The disastrous appearance of the lookalike also saw him failing to communicate with children during the event in Evesham, Worcestershire.

The stand-in for the real and jovial Santa was supposed to be one of the main attractions at the event but the performer was slammed by organisers who branded him "inept and disinterested".

Hundreds of townsfolk flocked to the event where Santa was supposed to ride in gloriously on a sleigh pulled by reindeer and give out plenty of sweets as he chatted to children about what they wanted for Christmas.

But while he did ride in on a sleigh, he distributed just a few sweets, only spoke twice to children and had his head down for most of the event.

Lew Hammond, manager of Evesham Market Town Partnership, said: "It was a disaster. The Father Christmas has now been sacked and the fee cancelled and we have also been given an extra GBP50 for the poor performance.
"That’s a first, too. We haven't had damages awarded before."

I would make a good Santa, I love kids, and have found that they are best slowly roasted on a spit.

From South a lot and over a bit: A bomb technician was called to a Darwin home last night to remove an explosives detonator that a man had driven over three times "to see what would happen", Northern Territory Police say.

The device had been in the home for six months, since the 29-year-old male resident brought it home from work, before he contacted police to have it removed.

"He also informed us that he had run over the device three times in his motor vehicle to see what would happen," Superintendent John Emeny said.

"The attending police officers confirmed the device was a badly crumpled detonator and a bomb technician from the Territory response squad was called in to remove it.

He said the man's decision to drive over the device was risky.

"It goes without saying that any kind of explosive device has the potential to cause serious injury and should be left alone," Superintendent Emeny said.

"And if you locate a suspicious item just leave it where it is and contact police."

Maybe they should charge him with failing the “Darwin test”.

Also from South a lot and then South a bit more: Fire fighters called to a reported gas leak on a farm in southern Australia traced the source to a 120kg pig with an irritable bowel.

"When we got to the property where the 'alert' was, these people had a pig, a big sow, which was about 20m away from the house," Country Fire Authority captain Peter Harkins told a Melbourne radio station on Thursday.

"I don't know what they were feeding this thing but we certainly heard it."

Harkins said the owner of the flatulent pig had apologised for calling 15 fire-fighters to his farm at Axedale, near Bendigo.

"He was a little bit embarrassed to say the least. It took us a little while to compose ourselves, to speak to him," Harkins said of Tuesday's incident.

"It was fairly obvious what it was.

"I think we dealt with it fairly professionally and had a bit of a giggle when we got back to the station."

Combustible Porcine.

From East quite a bit and then down a little: Indian police in Kashmir seized a $US3 million ($A3.22 million) haul of a rare fungus touted as 'Himalayan Viagra' for its supposed aphrodisiac properties.

Four men were arrested with 90 kilograms of the fungus, caterpillar mushroom; in the mountainous Ladakh region in the Indian portion of Kashmir, said Bhim Sen Tuti, a police officer.

They were allegedly trying to smuggle the fungus into China, he said.

The fungus is traditionally used in Chinese medicines as an aphrodisiac and for treating fatigue and diseases including cancer.

The street value of the haul was $US3 million, police said.

If convicted, the four face jail terms ranging from seven years to life imprisonment for violating India's Wildlife, Forest and Biodiversity laws, Tuti said.

“Stiff” sentence, (think about it).

And finally:

Martin Pohlmann, 38, ended up in hospital after the crash, causing £20,000 of damage to the property at Neuss, Germany after his sat nav ordered him to TURN RIGHT!

One eyewitness told the Austrian Times: "The car was travelling along perfectly normally then suddenly turned right and ploughed straight into the shop window."
The car was a write-off and had to be towed away.

You VILL OBEY Numpty.




Angus Dei politico

Saturday, 18 July 2009

Saturday Snippets

The sun is out, the sky is clear and all is right with the world, well almost.

First up:

That trains on Southern Railway are governed by Satnav?

Stunned passengers travelling on a train from East Croydon were told their train would be skipping six stations, owing to a faulty satellite link.

Passengers were told by the driver that the train would be stopping at the end of the line in Caterham, Surrey, due to a lost Satnav link. Many passengers who had wanted to alight at the stations in between were subsequently forced to wait half an hour for another train.

It is claimed that because some stations have shorter platforms than others, train drivers are unable to open the right doors at every station on the route without the aid of satellite navigation.

A spokesman for Southern Railway said: "A lot of our trains have GPS which recognises where the train is and allows it to open the doors at the station, depending on the length of the train and the length of the platform."

He added: "Doors can be opened manually in an emergency but we would not recommend it at other times."

So, the driver is there for?

An American writer who failed to find a publisher for his novel is putting the book on Twitter - 140 characters at a time.

Matt Stewart, a San Francisco-based novelist, began "tweeting" his first book, The French Revolution, on the micro-blogging service on Tuesday (local time).

"As far as I can tell, I'm the first person to release a completed full-length literary novel on Twitter," Stewart wrote on his website, says it will take approximately 3,700 "tweets" to transmitall of the 480,000 characters in his book.

Stewart says putting the book on Twitter is a "social experiment" to "see how the world reacts to a long-form tale told in snippets."

I’ll tell him; it is really firkin annoying!

The original recordings of the first humans landing on the moon 40 years ago were erased and re-used, but newly restored copies of the original broadcast look even better, NASA officials said on Thursday.

NASA released the first glimpses of a complete digital make-over of the original landing footage that clarifies the blurry and grainy images of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walking on the surface of the moon.

The full set of recordings, being cleaned up by Burbank, California-based Lowry Digital, will be released in September. The preview is available at

Yeah right.

Police have released an e-fit of highwayman Dick Turpin - 270 years after he was hanged.

They used newspaper clippings and technology to create the first realistic picture of him.

Richard Turpin was executed in York in 1739 for murder, burglary, highway robbery and horse stealing.

York Castle Museum worked with North Yorkshire Police to develop a 'wanted' poster for an exhibition of the cells where he spent his final night alive.

Turpin has since been portrayed as a handsome rogue. But the new picture shows a man with broad cheeks, a narrow chin, a wig and a scarred face.

Researcher Katherine Prior admitted: "The results are not pretty."

Nor is the sight of an old lady being mugged while police fart about with computers.

And finally:

Read the menu
A British tourist accidentally ordered a £1,000 bottle of wine in a Prague restaurant.Andy Freegard was dining with girlfriend Helen Kelly when he picked a Chateau Margaux 1987 Premier Grand Cru Classe which he thought was £20.

Mr Freegard, an estate agent from Sandhurst, Berkshire, misread the price on the wine list.He got worried when waiters started flocking to his table to sniff the cork, says The Sun.Miss Kelly then asked the head waiter for the price in sterling, she said: "He just coolly replied '£1,000'. We were both completely shell-shocked."Mr Freegard added: "We realised something was not right when the standard of service improved dramatically. And when they brought out the decanter I was very concerned.

"After we learned the truth we knew we couldn't send it back. Taking each sip was heartbreaking, knowing it was £50 worth a gulp. In my defence, I was tired and it was dark in the restaurant."Wine expert Alex Britton said: "The Margaux is undeniably one of the best wines in the world."

What he needs is a stiff drink.


Angus Dei politico


Wednesday, 25 March 2009


This first item is a bit serious:

BBC NEWS Social network sites 'monitored' there are plans afoot to monitor the social networking sites such as Facebook, Bebo and MySpace because it was needed to tackle crime gangs and terrorists who might use the sites. This is in addition to proposals to store details of every phone call, email, and internet visit made in the UK.

Liberal Democrat MP Tom Brake said the websites contained sensitive personal details and that he was concerned information could leak from any government-controlled database. "It is deeply worrying that they now intend to monitor social networking sites which contain very sensitive data like sexual orientation, religious beliefs and political views,"

Couple of points:

This “idea” is a breach of our human rights, which gives us the right to privacy regarding sexual orientation, religious beliefs and political views that the UK Government has signed up to.

If the history of Government data security s anything to go by they have no chance of keeping the information safe.

Bradford Man follows sat nav to cliff edge

A car was left teetering on a cliff edge after the driver followed sat nav directions down a Pennine footpath.

Robert Jones continued to follow the instructions when they told him the narrow, steep path he was driving on in Todmorden, West Yorkshire, was a road.

Mr Jones, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, only stopped when his BMW hit a fence above Gauxholme railway bridge on Sunday morning.

Police have charged Mr Jones with driving without due care and attention.

Unfortunately this isn’t a one off Police warning over sat nav use Police in Cumbria are warning drivers not to rely solely on Satellite Navigation Systems when driving through the Lake District.

A spokesman said the route-finders do not take into account weather conditions or road types.

Officers from Cumbria Constabulary have been called out to an increasing number of vehicles stranded on high mountain passes in poor weather conditions.

Drivers between North and South Cumbria have been particularly affected.

Ye, it’s called looking where you are going.

This one is bit rude, but you know what teenagers are like BBC an 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire.

It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.

If he knows about it what are the odds he will come back?

From BBC NEWS America- Barack Obama has told Americans he sees signs of economic recovery, but urged them to be patient and look beyond their "short-term interests".

The US president said his draft budget would build a stronger economy which would mean America did not face a repeat crisis in 10 or 20 years.

"We will recover from this recession," he told a prime-time news conference in Washington DC.

Mr Obama said his economic strategy, and his new budget which was now being prepared, was based on creating new jobs, rejuvenating the housing market, and creating new liquidity and lending by the banks.

Methinks he listened to Gordon too much!

Boys Toys BBC NEWS Rail enthusiasts can now enjoy views of Scandinavian fjords, the Swiss Alps, and even Mount Rushmore - in Germany.

Twin brothers Frederick and Gerrit Braun have built the world's longest model railway in the city of Hamburg.

It has six miles of track, cost £8m to build and its 1,150 square metres (12,380 square feet) take in the US, Scandinavia and the Swiss Alps.

By the time the layout is completed in 2014 it will be twice as long and will take in France, Italy and the UK.

The Braun brothers, 41, began work on the Miniatur Wunderland project in 2000.
Their model railway now comprises 700 trains with 10,000 carriages, 900 signals, 2,800 buildings and 160,000 individually designed figures.

It even includes scale models of the Rocky Mountains, Mount Rushmore, the Swiss Matterhorn, and a Scandinavian fjord complete with 4ft cruise ship.

The scenery took 500,000 hours, 700kg of fake grass and 4,000kg of steel to build.
So large is the layout that 160 staff are employed to show visitors around the railway.

Wouldn’t you like an attic big enough?

And finally:

Ananova - World's untidiest car banned police in Germany have banned a woman driver's car from the road - for being too untidy.

The Vauxhall Astra was so full of junk, magazines, old clothes and even bits of furniture that they could barely see the driver at it roared down a motorway near Düsseldorf.

The driver - who has not been named by police - has been banned from taking the car on the road again until it has passed a tidiness test.

Police said the car was so full of junk the woman's face was pressed up against the windscreen as she drove.

God job they can’t see my car!

You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. “ Doug Floyd


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico