Showing posts with label sausages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sausages. Show all posts

Monday, 29 October 2012

Tory tossers: Sodomised drivers: PGI bangers: Private speed cameras Dahn Unda: Flock orf Madrid: and a Blonde moment.

Lack of warm, less solar stuff, oodles of atmospheric movement and nary a drop of skywater at the Castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, they have “improved” the fruit and veg sections, mainly by moving everything about and increasing the prices.


 Too many on middle-range incomes are being dragged into the 40 per cent tax rate, and the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition should respond by increasing the rate at which the higher rate begins, and linking the threshold to earnings. That could take more than a million people out of higher-rate tax.
Kwasi Kwarteng, the MP for Spelthorne, and Priti Patel, the member for Witham, are worried that the tax system discourages enterprise and hurts the party’s appeal to middle-income workers.
Their report, ‘Motivating the Middle’, comes as Tory strategists debate how best to present the party as on the side of people who want to improve their lot in life.  

Another couple of Tosspots with their heads up each other’s arse...


The rest of the fuckwits infesting the left hand side of the bit next to the leaning tower of Westminster are considering a new “two-tier” road tax system as part of a Government review of transport funding, it emerged yesterday.
The scheme would see drivers who only drive locally and stay off major roads paying a lower rate of Vehicle Excise Duty than those who use motorways.
Ministers are reviewing the future of VED as the sums it raises for the Treasury fall. The tax is related to the engine emissions of cars, and the move towards smaller, greener cars is reducing tax revenues.
The two-tier tax system is understood to be one of several options that have been considered as part of that review. Insiders insisted that no decisions had been taken and that ministers remained unconvinced by the proposal.

If son of a B.....aronet George (alien reptile in disguise) Osborne hikes up the cost of go-juice by another 3pees per pint and a bit it would cost the economy at least £1 billion - substantially more than the £800 million in tax it would bring in.
Robert Halfon, the MP for Harlow and petrol campaigner, believes the rise due for January next year will cost families £60 a year in petrol costs alone.
But it will also inflict wider, damaging effects on the whole economy, according to the new report from the National Institute of Economic and Social Research (NIESR).
The NIESR economists found there would be a drop in household spending, leading to lower national income and around 35,000 job losses.
The cost to the economy could reach as much as £2 billion and cause 50,000 job losses, if the additional pressure on inflation causes the Bank of England to raise interest rates.

No scare mongering there then...


The MoT rules have changed for 2012, with the Department for Transport adding in new tests and standards to reflect more modern cars.
From 1 January 2012, new technologies such as Electronic Stability Control are being tested, rules on lighting have been updated to reflect new features, and even tests to check exhausts have been brought up to date.
The new MoT rules also help the UK meet new European legislation that’s aimed at standardising vehicle testing rules across the EU.
To help motorists get up to speed with the new rules, the first three months of 2012 will see new failure points marked as advisories only. After this, however, any compliance issues with the new test rules will result in a failure.
Click on the link over the pic to see them all...

Sausages made in Suffolk have been granted a special status which puts them alongside the likes of Parma Ham, Champagne and Melton Mowbray pork pies.
Newmarket Sausages have become the 50th British food product to be awarded the Protected Geographical Indication (PGI) from the European Commission.
It means only local companies can call their produce Newmarket sausages.
Grant Powter, from Powters Sausages, said it would protect the "reputation and quality" of the sausages.

Worth every penny of the tens of billions we pour into what is left of the bits over the channel.

Queensland’s peak motoring body has condemned moves to outsource speed camera operations as a "shameless grab for cash at the expense of driver safety".
The Courier-Mail revealed extra speed cameras would be rolled out across Queensland and operated by civilians instead of police in State Government changes aimed at cutting costs and boosting revenue.
RACQ Executive General Manager Advocacy Paul Turner said the State Government had lost sight of the purpose of the cameras.
"The Queensland Police manage speed cameras as a way to improve road safety and outsourcing their operation to a private company can only mean that profit is the number one priority,'' Mr Turner said.

It seems that ripping orf drivers is a world-wide phenonmen, phinominum......thing...


Spanish shepherds led a flock of more than 2,000 sheep through central Madrid on Sunday in defence of ancient grazing, migration and droving rights threatened by urban sprawl and modern agricultural practices.
The right to use droving routes that wind across land that was open fields and woodland before Madrid grew from a rural hamlet to the great metropolis it is today has existed since at least 1273.
Every year, a handful of shepherds defend the right and, following an age-old tradition, on Sunday paid 25 maravedis - coins first minted in the 11th century - to city hall to use the crossing.
Shepherds have a right to use 78,000 miles (125,000 kilometres) of paths for seasonal livestock migrations from cool highland pastures in summer to warmer and more protected lowland grazing in winter.
The movement is called transhumance and in Spain up until recently involved close to a million animals a year, mostly sheep and cattle.

Not quite so baamy then...

 And finally: 
A pic to wind up those who are not of the brunette or redheaded variety


And today’s thought:
Highway Code


Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Dead mouse in Downing Street: Fishy Skunk shooting: Valley of balls: Koala crawl: Antibiotic sausages: and a Big racquet.

A bit of solar stuff, not a lot of atmospheric movement and a lack of warm stuff at the Castle this morn, the interweb thingy seems to have returned to its former state and apologies to those who have commented, I will catch up.


Allegedly while U-Turn Cam is dahn in pastyland Larry the Downing Street cat has finally recorded a kill.
The No 10 spokesman quipped: "The only dead mouse in Downing Street is the one Larry caught this morning."

Sod it! I thought it was the other rodent....

Authorities say a Central Texas woman aiming for a skunk accidentally shot her husband when the bullet ricocheted.
Brazos County Sheriff Chris Kirk says the husband was expected to be released Monday from a Houston hospital. Kirk says the accident happened Sunday night at the family's house near College Station. The husband was inside.
Kirk says the bullet ricocheted off a deck, went through the house's closed back door and struck the husband in the abdomen. Kirk says the bullet did not damage any vital organs.
The sheriff says the wife, who has a concealed handgun permit, came out of the home's detached garage and saw a skunk. Kirk says the woman fired a .45-caliber handgun at the animal but missed.

Yeah right....allegedly...

Close to the town of Shetpe in Western Kazakhstan lies the Valley of Balls – or Torysh, as it is known in Kazakh. It consists of numerous ball-like rock formations strewn across a wide range of steppe land. The balls range in size from tiny marble-like rocks to huge boulders the size of a car.
The phenomenon is poorly researched, but there could be a number of geological explanations from megaspherulites - crystalline balls formed in volcanic ash and then revealed by weathering - to cannonball concretions - a process where sediment accumulates around a harder core - to spherical weathering wherein the conditions are just right to erode rocks into spherical form. In this case due to the range of sizes the most likely explanation is that of spherulite formation.
Visible from the Valley is Sherkala (Lion Rock), a stunning 332m white and ochre chalk outcrop with numerous fissures along its rim and even more rock formations at its foot. Close by are also the scant ruins of the Silk Road town Kyzylkala. 

Load of old megaspherulites?

An Amateur video captured a koala doing the crawl in the Tallebudgera Creek on the Gold Coast.
Koalas sleep for up to 16 hours a day and sightings of them swimming are extremely rare.
They are also known to drown if they fall in when drinking from swimming pools and are unable to climb out. Experts say it is possible the koala felt trapped on the bank of the tidal creek and decided the canoe was its best available escape route.
Local media said the stunned canoeists put the animal on an embankment at a local golf club where koalas were known to populate the gum trees.

Quite a lot like me then-except for the drinking from swimming pools and populating gum trees....


Antibiotic residues in uncured pepperoni or salami meat are potent enough to weaken helpful bacteria that processors add to acidify the sausage to make it safe for consumption, according to a study to be published in mBio, the online open-access journal of the American Society for Microbiology, on August 28.
Sausage manufacturers commonly inoculate sausage meat with lactic-acid-producing bacteria in an effort to control the fermentation process so that the final product is acidic enough to kill pathogens that might have existed in the raw meat. By killing the bacteria that produce lactic acid, antibiotic residues can allow pathogenic bacteria to proliferate.
Researchers at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark, and University College Cork, Ireland, found that antibiotic concentrations within limits set by US and European Union (EU) regulators are high enough to slow fermentation, the process that acidifies the sausages and helps destroy food borne pathogens like Salmonella or E. coli.

No more pizzas for me....

And finally:

New Yorker Ashrita Furman has just built a tennis racquet the size of a bus.
Furman, who holds the record for the most Guinness World Records at one time -- currently 151 -- hopes his mammoth wooden racquet will soon join the list.
The contraption is an exact copy of the wooden one used by Billie Jean King in the 1970s when she reigned over women's tennis at tournaments like the US Open that kicked off in New York this week.
The laminated wooden head, brown grip, red trim and inscriptions are a perfect match.
The only difference is that the racket measures 50 feet (15.2 meters) long and has a head 16 feet (4.9 meters) wide. The strings are made of water hose and the handle is so big that even a large person would have trouble wrapping both arms around it.
"It's 22.2 times bigger and done to scale," Furman told AFP.

Pity Tim Henman didn’t have one, he might have bleedin won something...


And today’s thought:
Gimme-Gimme I want the big racquet NOW!



Thursday, 5 November 2009

Sausage snaffler; All Alorne; Persistent burglar; Dead ringer; and Fat footballers free burgers

BF4, weather still bloody cold, cat screaming at the moon, my head aches and its bonfire night.

According to the BEEB hospital workers do not communicate with patients, no surprise there then and Ofcom have decided to change the rules regarding “silent calls” to ‘help’ businesses, lovely. And Bodycare has banned workers from wearing poppies; arseholes.

First up:

As its Bonfire night I thought bangers should be mentioned.

From the land of sun and Barbies.

A man has been arrested after being spotted stuffing sausages in his shorts in a supermarket aisle.

The 38-year-old man was found in a local supermarket in Cairns, Australia. He had successfully stuffed his shorts with sausages and his pockets with other items and was trying to walk out the door unnoticed.

Unfortunately the supermarket workers noted that something was up and called the police on him.

He was arrested after his trousers were searched and the sausages were confiscated. Managers at the supermarket were keen to communicate to the public that the items had not been returned for sale.

The man appears to have been fairly unlucky as staff at the store are notoriously non-security conscious. In July shoplifters casually pushed trolley-loads of supplies out the door for two days in a row and weren't stopped.

Nobody ever offers to search my trousers in Tesco.

From North of Hadrian’s Wall:

The country's meat industry wants the square sausage to be added to the list of foods with a Protected Geographical Indicator (PGI).

The move would mean it could only be branded 'Made in Scotland' if manufactured to a set recipe.

Parma ham, Arbroath Smokies and Melton Mowbray pies are all products which are currently protected under the PGI.

Douglas Scott, chief executive of Scotland's Craft Butchers, said: "The Lorne Sausage is as Scottish a product as you get and it would seem a threat in this global era if we weren't to apply for a PGI.

"Lorne is an important part of every Scottish butcher’s sausage trade with customers sometimes travelling many miles to source their favourite.

"We will work on the application and hope to get the backing of Quality Meat Scotland and the Scottish Government in taking the square slice to Brussels.”

The origins of the Lorne Sausage are unclear; however it's believed that it was named after Glasgow comedian Tommy Lorne.

The theatre performer, who died in 1935, was famous for his catchphrase "sausages are the boys".

Others claim it takes its name from the area of the Firth of Lorne on the west coast

Square sausage, now that you could hide in your trousers.
AN 87-YEAR-OLD disabled grandfather today told how he has been burgled around a dozen times in the last three years by the same thief.

Renowned zoologist Murdoch Mitchison, who lives near Ormiston in East Lothian, said he has been targeted up to 12 times since 2006 and police believe the same burglar could be behind all the raids.

The widower said a total of £1,000, several bottles of whisky, a mobile phone, electric screwdrivers and two computers have been stolen over the years.

The most recent theft took place on Sunday, when Mr Mitchison's computer was stolen from his bungalow, where he lives alone. The pensioner's keyboard and monitor were left behind.

Mr Mitchison, a father-of-four, said: "My cleaning lady told me that the computer was missing at about nine o'clock on Sunday morning, and I thought 'not again'. I don't know how the thief gets in.

The grandfather-of-14, whose father Dick was a former Labour MP and peer and mother Naomi a renowned writer, said: "I have never caught the thief before.

"My doors are always locked now, and we have changed the locks on a couple of occasions."
A police spokesman said: "We are aware of several house- breakings that have occurred at Mr Mitchison's property over the last few years, and on each occasion a thorough and detailed investigation has been carried out.

"During this time our officers have also been in regular contact with Mr Mitchison and his family, and the appropriate security advice has been offered as to how the property can be protected.

"We are appealing for anyone who can assist our inquires to come forward

Check the attic.

From the southern part of over the pond:

A Brazilian bricklayer reportedly killed in a car crash shocked his mourning family by showing up alive at his funeral.

Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, had identified him as the victim of a Sunday night car crash in Parana state in southern Brazil, police said.

As is customary in Brazil, the funeral was held the following day, which happened to be the holiday of Finados, when Brazilians visit cemeteries to honour the dead.

What family members didn’t know was that Goncalves had spent the night at a truck stop talking with friends over drinks of a sugarcane liquor known as cachaca, his niece Rosa Sampaio told the O Globo newspaper. He did not get word about his own funeral until it was already happening Monday morning.

A police spokesman in the town of Santo Antonio da Platina said Goncalves rushed to the funeral to let family members know he was not dead.

“The corpse was badly disfigured, but dressed in similar clothing,” said the police spokesman, who talked on condition of anonymity as he wasn’t authorized to discuss the case. “People are afraid to look for very long when they identify bodies, and I think that is what happened in this case.”

Sampaio told O Globo that some family members were not sure the body was Goncalves.

“My two uncles and I had doubts about the identification,” she told O Globo. “But an aunt and four of his friends identified the body, so what were we to do? We went ahead with the funeral.”

The police spokesman confirmed there were doubts: “His mom looked at the body in the casket and thought something was strange. She looked and looked and couldn’t believe it was her son,” Sampaio said. “Before long, the walking dead appeared at the funeral. It was a relief.”
The body was correctly identified later Monday, the police spokesman said, and has already been buried in another state. He declined to release the actual victim’s name.

All’s well.............

And finally:

From East a lot:

Thailand's top soccer players will feast on free burgers as part of a three-year sponsorship deal with American fast food giant McDonald's worth almost $900,000, the country's soccer president said Wednesday.

McDonald's will provide 25 million baht (452,000 pound) for the Football Association of Thailand (FAT) and will offer five million baht in products in exchange for shirt sponsorship for the next three years, starting this month.

"This will be a great help towards our efforts to reach the 2014 World Cup finals," FAT president Worawi Makudi told Reuters.

"This funding will help develop our game, especially youth football, and all the players, junior and senior, will get to enjoy the food too," he added.

Thailand's national team, which is currently 110th in the FIFA rankings, signed a five-year kit sponsorship deal with U.S. sports giant Nike in 2007 for an undisclosed figure.

The team has never qualified for the World Cup finals and is now being coached by former England and Manchester United captain Bryan Robson.

Who has always been known for his svelte figure.




Angus Dei politico

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Knickers nicker, In-line Maniac, Suggestive Sausages and a Farracitro

I am having real problems with the internet today; my diagnostics say everything is fine; I have a connection speed of 4.8 Mbps but web pages are taking ten minutes to load.

I think the server may have swine flu.

First up (hopefully):

Officers raided 56-year-old Michael Wolker's flat after he was stopped leaving a club with three pairs of used underpants in a bag.

And found more than 1,000 pairs.

Wolker also had more than 100 pairs of swimming trunks, they were all evidently in use, but had been washed and neatly stacked away,' a police spokesman said.

Wolker denies stealing the underwear, claiming he obtained them over the internet and from car boot sales.

Yeah right, most men have about seven pairs (not me of course I have at least, well eight pairs), and if they are single maybe less than that.

Because as the old adage goes “you can only wear one pair at a time”.

Wearing specially designed in-line skates, Dirk Auer made the attempt at the Trips Drill theme park in Stuttgart, Germany.

Reaching speeds of 90 kph, Mr Auer skated the 860 metre track in just over one minute.

This was a very dangerous stunt because there were so many factors to consider," said the 36-year-old, who conquered the rickety ride last weekend.

"The roller caster is wooden and so unlike rides made from iron and steel there was always a chance of the odd nail or screw that would not be entirely flat.

"If the skates were to catch a stray nail then I could have fallen and I would almost certainly have died."

Spending two months planning the outrageous stunt, Dirk also designed and made the monster skates, which took him a total of 110 hours work.

He already holds the world record for reaching speeds of 307 km/h as he was dragged along behind a Porsche GT2 and has raced down a roller-coaster wearing only his skates.

Dirk, from Gross-Gerau near Frankfurt, is considered to be the most extreme inline-skater in the world.

That is not the description I would use.

A sexually suggestive ad campaign for Mattesons smoked pork sausages has been criticised by the advertising watchdog.

The innuendo-filled radio adverts for Mattesons sausages asked listeners where they would like to "stick it".

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) upheld complaints that the ads should not have been aired when children were likely to be listening.

The ASA ruled that the four adverts, broadcast on Forth One, Clyde Radio and Real Radio, must no longer be aired at times when children were likely to be listening.

It is obvious where you would “stick it” isn’t it?

And finally:
Yet more maniacs have decided to cross a Citroen 2CV with a Ferrari – and produced a bread van which can travel at 180mph.

The bizarre hybrid took the pair five years and cost more than £150,000 to put together.

They took the chassis and engine of a speedy Ferrari F355 Berlinetta and combined it with the body of a 12bhp Citroen 2CV Fourgonnette bread-van.

And they stuck the iconic prancing pony logo on the front above the famous Citroen double chevron emblem.

The result of their efforts is a striking vehicle that can accelerate from 0 to 60mph in less than five seconds.

The car was put together by Nicolo Lamberti, 35, and Milko Dalla Costa, 51, who run the Italian Nimik rally team.

Mr Lamberti said they found the Ferrari at an "interesting price" and decided to modify it.

They had the idea to combine it with the 2CV after seeing it abandoned in the back of a garage in Turate, in Northern Italy.

That is a lot of bread for well, a bread van.


Angus Dei politico


Sunday, 22 February 2009


A bit late today, I overslept, ignored the alarm and was woken by the cat (I love my pussy) biting my nose, which she obviously thought was a sausage (she loves sausages); I have managed to stem the blood loss and with plaster on nose will attempt to write something vaguely intelligent-ish.

Jade Goody prepares for wedding and good luck to the girl. I hope she has the best day of her very short life, she has shown courage and strength, and deserves a bit of happiness.

Children out late 'unacceptable' this is from BBC News, it seems that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith says it is unacceptable for parents not to know what their children are up to at night.

She was speaking after police in 27 council areas in England picked up and returned 120 youngsters late on Friday.

Police spotted scores of teenagers who were drunk, abusing drugs or had nowhere to stay.

They encountered large groups behaving anti-socially, and children being out far too late without an adult.

Ms Smith said Operation Staysafe had highlighted the role parents must play to alleviate the problems.

Haven’t we been saying this for years? I am sure that Labour is in a different time line to the rest of us.

BBC NEWS UK Brown signals 100% mortgages curb I have made a small comment on this on Angus Dei politico (bit of unadulterated advertising)

From Ananova- A church school teacher asked a class of ten-year-olds to write down the rudest words they know.

Parents were horrified when their children returned home with exercise books littered with expletives.

Teacher Fred Laband asked pupils to write a list of hurtful words commonly levelled at the victims of bullying and classify them from 'really upsetting' to 'harmless'.

They came up with obscenities including four letter words, reports the Daily Mail.

Many of the terms were displayed on a board in front of the class at Great and Little Shelford Church of England Primary in Great Shelford, near Cambridge.

In a letter to parents, headmistress Alison Evans said: "On reflection, it has been agreed that it was inappropriate to record these words in writing and the pages have been removed (from exercise books)."

Alastair MacGregor, chairman of the governors, said: "We deeply regret this happened. We are investigating what happened, and are taking appropriate disciplinary action, but I cannot comment on what."

Let’s hope that the teacher’s resignation note doesn’t say “F**K OFF”

Also from Ananova - DVD thief went back for remote a thief in China was caught when he returned to the scene of his crime to collect the remote control for the DVD player he had stolen earlier. But the thief was allowed to go free - when police officers ruled the £100 DVD player was not valuable enough for them to press charges.

And we think we have troubles!

And finally from Ananova - Teen thief picks on wrong pensioner a thief picked on the wrong victim when she tried to run off with the handbag of a former championship sprinter.

The schoolgirl was surprised to discover her victim still had a turn of pace - at the age of 72.
Jean Hirst had allowed three teenage girls into her car to help with directions after getting lost in Long Eaton, Derbyshire.
Mrs Hirst, from Mansfield, said: "Suddenly I felt 18 again. The adrenaline just kicked in and I seemed to turn back the years.

"She had a head start but I covered 70 yards in about 15 seconds and was within two strides of her when she looked over her shoulder and saw me.

"She probably thought I was an easy target but she shouldn't have judged a book by its cover. The look on her face was one of sheer amazement and she just threw my bag aside."

Mrs Hirst stopped and picked up the bag which she said contained her "whole life", including purse, keys and address book.

A nice bit of “grey” justice, but just a hint don’t let people you don’t know into your car or your house.

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls.” Lenny Bruce