Showing posts with label speeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speeding. Show all posts

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Speed it up: Pay as you go: Robbing Peter to pay Paul: No frills fight: Flower pot Numpty: Political brains: and Lower the law.

Looks like another wondrous portion of warm sunny stuff at the Castle this morn; the kitchen is empty of broken thingy’s and I still haven’t washed the windows…….or the rover.
The garden needs a bit of maintenance, the hedges need hedging, the borders need bordering and the shrubs need shrubbing, the shed needs clearing out and the eight legged hairy things need evicting, the mower needs a service and me spade needs polishing, on the other hand there is the F1 qualifying on the box and I have dragged the sun lounger down from the big walk in cupboard up stairs, now what shall I do……….?

Apparently the fuzz have adopted new speeding rules that allow drivers to do up to 86mph and avoid points on their licence.
The guidelines mean motorists can pay to do a speed awareness course instead if they are caught at up to 10% above the limit plus 9mph.
Police leaders said 37 out of 44 forces had signed up to the new framework.
Previously, only those travelling at up to 10% above the limit plus 6mph could be offered one of the courses.
But the amendments were agreed by chief constables at a meeting of the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) in January.
For a 30mph zone, the upper limit for a speeding course would be 42mph.
This would rise to 86mph for motorways and other major roads, although the official limit remains the same.
Acpo said the figure at which a course could be offered was a decision for individual forces, and not all would make it available for higher speeds.
Drivers can only attend one speed awareness course in a three-year period.

Far too complicated for me, think I’ll just stick to the speed limits.

Allegedly Private companies should be brought in to build a network of toll roads and high speed lanes to tackle congestion, a leading business figure has said.
Neil Bentley, deputy director-general of the Confederation of British Industry, made the plea for outside investment as he accused the Coalition of lacking a “strategic vision” for the country’s road network.
He dismissed the £200 million pledged by the Government to fix potholes as part of a strategy of “make do and mend”.
Congestion, he said, was estimated as costing British business £8 billion a year, rising to £16 billion by 2025, when traffic is expected to increase by a third.

And the cause of most of the congestion-lorries, here’s an idea-why doesn’t “industry” do away with all the slow moving, wide, polluting juggernauts and use the railway system to move goods, or even the canal network then charge foreign “transporters” to use our roads which we have paid for over and over again.

When Sean Collins wasn't sure how he'd come up with the cash to pay his court fine, he turned to a bank. The problem is he didn't ask the bank for a loan. He robbed it, instead.

The Scottish man confessed to holding up a banking building in the city of Glasgow in the hopes of stealing enough cash to pay off the £2,000 fine he'd been ordered to give his victim after being convicted of assault in June.

Collins told a court today that his conviction had lost him his job and said he was struggling to pay his mortgage, according to STV News in Scotland. So on December 7, Collins entered a Glasgow banking society armed with a 12-inch knife and a can of tuna fish designed to look like a bomb.

Then, the 28-year-old man -- whose disguise that day included swimming goggles and a bright pink scarf -- approached a teller and demanded she give him money. When she asked him if he was "having a laugh," Collins threatened to detonate what employees thought was a bomb, according to the BBC.

Tuna is dangerous stuff, especially if it comes from the sea near Japan…

What started out as an attempt by a man to shoplift chicken by stuffing the bird down his pants took a violent turn in Peterborough, Ontario last Saturday.
Police said an employee watched a man place four packages of chicken down his pants and walk out of a No Frills grocery store.
When a security guard at the store tried to stop him from leaving, the man turned violent and punched him, police said.
Jessie Adam Johnson, 31, is charged with theft, assault with intent to resist arrest and breach of probation.
He is to appear in court April 21.

No chicken….shit.

A woman who tried to 'improve' a rare Chinese vase with a hammer is having to face up to the knowledge she has knocked £200,000 of its value.
The Qing dynasty porcelain vase would have been worth £250,000 in good condition but is now expected to sell for about £50,000.
The vase already had a chip in its rim when the woman, who has not been named, knocked the rest off with a hammer to "even it out".
The woman was so unimpressed with the vase after her "improvements" she gave it away to a friend to put daffodils in.
Years later, she returned to her friend's house and saw it in her garden. Taking a new liking to it, she asked for it back.
She kept it on her windowsill and was about to throw it away when she remembered seeing a similar vase that had fetched almost £200,000 at a recent auction.
She sent a picture of it to Salisbury auction house Woolley and Wallis with an email saying: "Is it worth hanging on to or, because of the damage is it worthless and should I just bin it! It came from my great grandparents."
Clare Durham, an auction house spokeswoman said: "She emailed us with a photograph and we instantly told her not to bin it, as she was planning to do."
The vase, otherwise undamaged after the unusual re-modelling, was subsequently dated from the Qing dynasty, between 1821 to 1850.
Woolley and Wallis are now selling the piece with a pre-sale estimate of £30,000 but expect it to reach double that amount.

A spot of DIY can be very expensive.

Liberals have more grey matter in a part of the brain associated with understanding complexity, while the conservative brain is bigger in the section related to processing fear, said the study today in Current Biology.

"We found that greater liberalism was associated with increased grey matter volume in the anterior cingulate
cortex, whereas greater conservatism was associated with increased volume of the right amygdala," the study said.

Other research has shown greater brain activity in those areas, according to which political views a person holds, but this is the first study to show a physical difference in size in the same regions.

"Previously, some psychological traits were known to be predictive of an individual's political orientation," said Ryota Kanai of the University College London, where the research took place. "Our study now links such personality traits with specific brain structure."

 Study links personality traits to brain structure
 Liberals' brains linked to greater tolerance
 Conservatives' brains "more sensitive to fear"

I suppose the most surprising conclusion of this “study” is that politicians have brains at all.

And finally:

With the sun out and temperatures rising, the young women of the City law firm Allen & Overy decided it was time to do the same for their hemlines.

Unfortunately, the sight of dozens of trainee solicitors arriving for work in “very short skirts” did not fill senior partners with the joys of spring.
After several complaints about the amount of flesh on show, an email was sent to the company’s 105 trainees reminding them of the sartorial standards expected by their employer — one of the five leading firms in the City known as the “Magic Circle”.
Women were told to increase the lengths of their skirts and reduce the height of their heels or face “uncomfortable discussions” with the human resources department.
“We’ve been asked to draw your attention to the fact that HR has received numerous complaints about the way female trainees have been dressing around the office,” stated the email from Allen & Overy’s trainee solicitor liaison committee.
It went on: “The main problem seems to be very short skirts and high heels and generally looking like we’re going clubbing instead of to the office. HR would like this to be addressed ASAP so they don’t have to have uncomfortable discussions with individuals about it, especially as we’re now getting into summer and are more likely to be wearing less as it gets hotter!”

I wonder who complained.

And today’s thought: "Let's make sure that there is certainty during uncertain times in our economy." -- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 2, 2008

Thursday, 7 May 2009


The sizzling bacon and fried eggs of the classic English cooked breakfast won a competition Wednesday to find a new flavour of crisps Yahoo! News UK

How dare they: Emma Rushin, a 27-year-old trainee midwife, dreamed up the concoction, calling it "Builder's Breakfast" after the cholesterol-heavy meal which is still the favourite start of the day for manual workers across Britain.

She won the 50,000-pound (56,700-euros, 75,400-dollars) first prize in a competition run by crisp manufacturer Walkers and will see her flavour go into mass production.

Her blend of bacon, buttered toast, eggs and tomato sauce received more than 232,000 votes of more than one million cast by the public, putting it ahead of flavours like Onion Bhaji, Cajun Squirrel and even Chilli and Chocolate.

The shortlist of new flavours were produced in limited numbers to allow people to sample them and cast their vote.

Sorry, but it will never take the place of the “full English”.

Six Chinese face huge Swiss fines for traffic offences these pilchards must have thought they were Jensen Button, Six Chinese who sped through a Swiss highway at up to 229 kilometres (140 miles) per hour have each been fined up to 95,000 francs (62,000 euros, 84,000 dollars) for speeding and other traffic offences, Swiss news agency ATS reported Wednesday.

According to a verdict published by the district court of Horgen, the judge threw out the defence that the Chinese drivers were unaware of Switzerland's highway speed limit of 120 kilometres (75 miles) per hour.

It ruled that they had "intentionally exceeded the speed limit."

The court set fines ranging from 5,400 francs to 95,000 francs for each of the drivers, with the highest fines also taking into account other traffic offences committed by the drivers in Switzerland.

The group was stopped by police on May 5 in 2008 while travelling in luxury vehicles, including Lamborghinis, from Italy to France where they were due to catch a flight home.

Serves them bloody right.

In Australia it is now a “crime” to link to a link to a link (I think) Aussie censors implement six degrees of separation policy.

The Australian Government yesterday broke new records for web censorship by requiring the takedown not just of a page containing harmful content, nor even a page linking to harmful content, but a page linking to a link to allegedly harmful content.

The content that the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) originally deemed to be inappropriate was to be found on a US site – Abortion TV. The site is political in nature, clearly coming down on the anti-abortion side of that debate – and the page in question features pictures of aborted foetuses.

Back in January of this year, ACMA wrote back to a complainant: "ACMA is satisfied that the internet content is hosted outside Australia, and that the content is prohibited or potential prohibited content.

"The Internet Industry Association (IIA) has a code of practice for Internet Service Providers (ISPs) which, among other things, set out arrangements for dealing with such content. In accordance with the code, ACMA has notified the above content to the makers of IIA approved filters, for their attention and appropriate action.

The code requires ISPs to make available to customers an IIA approved filter."

Lets hope the UK Government doesn’t get hold of this info, mind you they probably won’t understand it.

Jacqui Smith and her porkies Jacqui's secret plan to 'Master the Internet' • The Register Spy chiefs are already spending hundreds of millions of pounds on a mass internet surveillance system, despite Jacqui Smith's announcement earlier this week that proposals for a central warehouse of communications data had been dumped on privacy grounds.

The system - uncovered today by The Register and The Sunday Times - is being installed under a GCHQ project called Mastering the Internet (MTI). It will include thousands of deep packet inspection probes inside communications providers' networks, as well as massive computing power at the intelligence agency's Cheltenham base, "the concrete doughnut".

Sources with knowledge of the project said contracts have already been awarded to private sector partners.

The American techology giant Lockheed Martin is understood to have bagged a £200m deal. The BAE-owned British firm Detica, which has close links to MI5 and MI6, as well as to GCHQ, has also been signed up to help on MTI.

A spokeswoman for GCHQ said the agency does not comment on individual contracts. "GCHQ works with a broad range of industry partners to deliver a complex portfolio of technical projects," she said. Detica also declined to comment, and Lockheed Martin did not return calls.

Yeah right, and my cat is going to be the next Prime Minister: mind you………

And finally:

Man sues over right to wear skirt in public A man is suing the New Orleans Police Department, claiming he was harassed by an officer who threatened to arrest him for wearing a black pinstriped skirt to municipal court.

Jeremy Don Kerr is asking for $1 in damages, a ruling that his rights were violated, and an order against barring access to public facilities because of gender stereotyping.

Kerr filed the civil-rights lawsuit last month. He said he finds skirts more comfortable than pants, and wears them with button-down Oxfords or T-shirts.

Whatever floats your boat I suppose, but wouldn’t it be a bit nippy round the vegetables?

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice." Anon


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico


Thursday, 16 April 2009


Telegraph A Norwegian man faces a heavy fine and a driving ban after police caught him having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on the motorway, police said on Monday.

The unnamed couple, a 28-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman, were caught in the act late on Easter Sunday by traffic police on the E18 highway, some 25 miles west of Oslo.

Officers who clocked the couple's silver Mazda 323 racing at 133 kilometres per hour in a 100 zone realised they were doing more than just breaking the speed limit, police told AFP.

"It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.

"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way," he added.

"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know."
After following the couple for nearly a kilometre, officers pulled the car over at a service station.

"We have taken away his driving licence because of the danger that he caused," Mr Hagen said.

Telegraph A woman stole a 2mph mobility scooter from outside an Asda supermarket and attempted to drive it 10 miles home while she was twice the drink-drive limit.

Amanda Leaff, 46, took the scooter, supplied by the supermarket to help disabled people do their shopping, from an car park at Chedderton, near Oldham, and set off on a trip home.

Police later worked out that the journey would have taken her four hours to complete.
She recorded a reading of 77mg of alcohol in her breath and later admitted charges of taking the scooter without consent and driving it while unfit through drink.

The magistrates banned her from driving for 20 months and ordered her to pay £240 costs.

Ananova A would-be smuggler was arrested after trying to outrun border police with £300,000 of cigarettes in a horse and cart.

Police challenged Janos Jakab as he crossed Romania's northern border with the Ukraine carrying nearly 100,000 packets of cigarettes and tobacco.

After a short chase, police outran the cart and arrested Jakab.

A spokesman for the local border police said: "In general smugglers are becoming more and more sophisticated in their methods of getting contraband across borders. But this case proved the exception to the rule.

Dumb Ass!

Ananova Police in Germany are hunting a thief with no arms who managed to walk out of a shop with a 24-inch TV.

Two accomplices used clamps to fix the TV to his body before helping him out of the store in Munich, Germany.

Staff did not realise what had happened until they noticed a TV was missing from its stand and looked back at CCTV recordings.

A police spokesman said: "Staff only knew about the theft after they saw one of the display TVs had been taken off its stand.

"It's hard to believe that the sight of an armless man walking along with a giant TV clamped to his body did not get anyone's attention."

Yes, but how did he clamp the TV to his body?

Ananova A Russian man is facing jail after he ate his ex-wife's passport during a row.
Police in Nizhny Novgorod arrested Ivan Volokov, 31, after he tore up ex-wife Anna's passport and then ate all the pieces.

A police spokesman said: "They had just got divorced but the couple remained living in the same flat.”

"He wanted to destroy the passport as it was the woman's only official document which proved she had the right to stay living in the house."

Volokov has been charged with destroying official documents and threatening behaviour.

Yum Yum!

And finally:

Ananova A US man has been charged with assault after he allegedly broke wind on a police officer.

Police say they were fingerprinting Jose Cruz, 34, when he moved near Patrolman T.E. Parsons, lifted his leg and passed gas "loudly" on the officer.

Cruz then allegedly waved the air in the direction of Parsons, who was preparing a breath test machine at South Charleston police HQ, West Virginia.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint says.

Cruz was charged with drink driving, assaulting a police officer and obstruction.

Well he certainly didn’t have an obstruction.

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen Covey


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico


Tuesday, 3 February 2009


It’s snowing down here in ‘Ampshire, which will cover the ice that formed overnight, and make it even more fun to go out.

If you are lucky enough to be snowed in, here are a few stories to keep you company.

Following on from the man who wanted his kidney back from his wife during their divorce- Excite News VICTORVILLE, Calif. (AP) - Prosecutors say a spurned lover ambushed his ex-girlfriend and tried to cut out the breast implants he paid for by stabbing her. San Bernardino County prosecutor David Foy says 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley attacked his ex in July 2006 outside her mother's home in Hesperia, some 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert.

Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.

The 26-year-old woman survived six stab wounds and the punctured breast implants were repaired.

Rowley's former roommate Dennis McGill testified this week that the defendant wanted to reclaim what was rightfully his. Rowley allegedly told McGill, "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get em back."

And carrying on with the divorce theme-CROYDON A circus performer has had prehistoric ivory from a mammoth tusk implanted as teeth because he could not bear to part from it during his divorce.
Hannibal Helmurto, of the Circus of Horrors, did not want to split a 40,000-year-old mammoth tusk he purchased in 1993 with his wife when they recently got divorced.
The sword wielding circus performer, who is appearing at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon this weekend, decided to have the tooth fitted into his own mouth instead.

From the BBC a court's refusal to convict a police constable who reached 159mph on a motorway of speeding and dangerous driving is being challenged.
Pc Mark Milton, 38, from Telford, Shropshire, was recorded by the patrol car's video camera on the M54 in 2003.
District Judge Bruce Morgan cleared him after hearing he was "familiarising" himself with a new car.
High Court judges were asked on Tuesday to decide whether an officer could lawfully drive at those speeds.

One law for them?

From Sky News new questions are being asked about aviation security in America after a man packed himself in a crate and 'posted himself' back home. Charles McKinley shipped himself from New York to Dallas in an airline cargo crate.
He was even delivered to the door of his parent’s house - and broke out of the box on the lawn.
"My husband asked him, `Man, what are you doing in this crate?' He said he was coming home," his mother told KDFW-TV in Dallas.
Officials have launched an investigation to find out how he got past security at three airports.
Wonder if he went first or second-class?

Should you or shouldn’t you? NHS: Rosie Palm's Revenge the University of Nottingham say “Hands off” "Masturbation is linked with an increased risk of prostate cancer when practised frequently by young men in their twenties and thirties." Frequently, in this case, being in excess of 20 times a month.

The Australians say “go for it”- Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. . Masturbation Reduces Men's Chance to Develop Prostate Cancer

Does this mean that Nottingham are abstainers while the Aussies are wankers?

Belligerent Badger “A QUIET corner of rural England was recovering yesterday after a bruising encounter with Boris the badger.

Five people were put in hospital and two police officers were sent scurrying for cover after the bad-tempered creature went on a 48-hour rampage through Evesham in Worcestershire.
As the last victim returned from hospital yesterday, after having skin grafts to his legs and an arm, residents described Boris’s arrival as being like a scene from a horror film.”

The moral: never go into your garage to investigate strange noises.

Klingon interpreter sought for mental health patients Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon.

The language created for the "Star Trek" TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County, Oregon.
"We have to provide information in all the languages our clients speak," said Jerry Jelusich, a procurement specialist for the county Department of Human Services, which serves about 60,000 mental health clients.

Although created for works of fiction, Klingon was designed to have a consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary.

"There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said the county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway.”
What can you say?

Maybe “yIDoghQo'” (Don't be silly.) or “naDevvo' yIghoS” (Go away.)

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"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." Victor Borge