Showing posts with label sprouts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sprouts. Show all posts

Friday, 23 December 2011

Silly Billy for PM: Slumped Wallpaper : Gritty skid: Bad snaps: Barnsley Brussels: and the dancing Crimbo safety demo.

Warmish, wettish and wobblyish at the Castle this two sleeps to go morn, the Crimbo shopping is all sorted-one Crimbo meal in a box, a parsnip, six mince pies, custard, a bit of Crimbo cake and a partridge in a pear tree.

I have treated myself to a new “smart phone” which runs on android 2.2; I will let you know how good it is when I have worked out how to turn it on.
I staggered into the garden yesterday and believe it or not there are snowdrops in flower!

And the interweb thingy is still dropping in and out-I still blame the Government.

According to (I will never take a Lordship) John (I really needed a new fake beam on my house) Prescott if U-Turn Cam pops his clogs Silly Billy Hague is the most likely candidate to fill his boots.

Oh joy.....


Osborne & Little, the luxury wallpaper and furnishings firm run by Sir Peter Osborne, the Chancellor's father, has posted a loss and predicted tough trading conditions ahead.
The £32.8m turnover company, which has glamorous showrooms on the Kings Road in London and in Paris, Munich and Milan, paid one director £736,000 in salary and pension contributions.
But no dividend was distributed to its shareholders, led by Sir Peter Osborne, who founded the firm with his brother-in-law Antony Little in 1968. George Osborne retains a 15pc stake via a trust.
Sir Peter, the 17th holder of a hereditary baronetcy, said the rise in raw material prices had reduced its gross margins to 53pc and that had directly led to the loss.
Osborne & Little made use of its banking facilities with HSBC, drawing more heavily on its invoice financing and its overdraft during the year. The overdraft is up for renewal in January and the directors said they were confident the bank would renew the facilities.

Oh dear what a shame....

A runaway gritter hit black ice, skidded down a hill and crashed into the garden of an Inverness home.
Audrey Barnett, 40, was woken by a loud noise on Tuesday morning and found the vehicle embedded in the front garden of her home.
The gritter’s crew was unhurt, although a neighbour’s car was also damaged in the crash.
“I heard a loud bang, and thought, this sounds close. I looked out of the window and there was a snow plough sitting in my garden,” Mrs Barnett said. “It had bashed into my next door neighbour’s car, then through the dividing fence and completely taken out the top half of my garden.
“I could see two shocked men in the plough. They opened the doors, and the driver got out and fell on the ice before they came over.”
Having offered what help they could and given Mrs Barnett a council phone number to ring, the men then reversed the vehicle and left. Highland Council officials visited her house on Tuesday and confirmed they would rebuild the garden and foot the bill.

Ironic or what....

Photography tuition company Red Cloud has launched the contest to find the country’s most inept snapper.
Entrants have included blurred faces, missed animal shots and extreme close-ups that go so far they miss the subject.
Organisers said they want to prove even the most hapless photographer can be turned into a budding pro.
‘We think everyone has the potential to take great photos with a little help and training,’ said Red Cloud founder Lee Brown.
Pictures should be submitted, with the photographer’s permission, to before the end of February.
Competition entries can be viewed at, where people will be able to vote for their favourite ‘worst’ image.

Already sent in my entry...

Andy Simpson says his new delicacy of Brussels coated in finest Belgian chocolate are selling like hot cakes at just 25p each.
Andy, who has a store at the Elsecar Heritage Centre, near Barnsley, South Yorks, came up with the idea while on one of his regular visits to schools, where he teaches pupils about the origins of their favourite treat.
The 49-year-old said: "I am always looking for something new and with Christmas approaching Brussels sprouts immediately popped into my mind.
"I decided to try them out on customers and they are proving popular and I'm hoping to sell a lot more to people looking for something a little different to have with their Christmas dinner.
"I know Brussels sprouts are a bit like Marmite, you either love them or loathe them. I like them, they are a nice chocolatey shape but I must admit they are an acquired taste."

 Think I’ll pass on that one.

And finally:

Cabin crew from a Philippine airliner who danced to fame after incorporating Lady Gaga into their safety demo have learnt a new routine set to Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas.
Manila-based Cebu Pacific airline gained fame by dancing through their safety routine to the backing of Lady Gaga, but this time have updated it for the festive holiday period.

The Philippine airline says the choreographed dance helps passengers pay more attention to the demonstration, which instructs passengers of how to use their seat belts and life jackets.

Candice Iyog, an airline spokesman, said: "Now that it's Christmas, we wanted to bring a little more fun into the flight."

They haven’t been watching the news have they...

And today’s thought:


Wednesday, 17 June 2009


WIND POWERED WARSHIP A Royal Navy captain has banned Brussels sprouts from his warship, HMS Bulwark, because he loathes them so much.

Commanding Officer Wayne Keble OBE says sprouts are prohibited and labelled them the "devil's vegetable".

His orders mean no-one on board – including his 390-strong team of sailors and Royal Marines – are allowed to eat them.

Capt Keble disclosed details his ban after he was asked to confirm reports he had banned fried foods from his ship.

He said: "The only thing I have banned on board is Brussels sprouts. They are the devil's vegetable and the only thing I do not like, and the only thing I hate.

And this guy is in charge of an Albion-class landing platform dock the UK's newest class of amphibious assault warship.

Miserable old fart.

Talking of miserable people: A traffic warden slapped a £75 tcket on a car because the disabled parking badge was upside down, Ron Padwick, 76, a great grandfather, placed the parking permit on his dashboard with all the details visible, but accidentally left the card facing the driver's seat.

He had a cup of tea with a friend and returned 15 minutes later to find a penalty notice stuck on the windscreen of his blue BMW, which had been parked in a disabled bay in Leominster, Worcester.

The witless warden also left a note on the windscreen saying that his badge was not “displayed in the correct manner”.

Herefordshire Council have refused to back down on the fine because they say the rules on its display are clearly laid out on issue.

A spokesperson said: "All blue badge holders are requested to display their badge the right way around so that the expiry date is visible.

"Instructions on how to display the badge are clearly laid out in the terms and conditions of use issued with the pass.

"If it is not displayed properly, this may result in a penalty notice being issued.

"Regarding the case under discussion, the badge was displayed the wrong way around, which is why a penalty notice was issued."

Miserable old farts

The wedding's off Haylie Hocking, 27, was all set to marry her strapping 30-year-old fitness fanatic Jason Brake until a friend organising her hen night searched online for a male stripper and spotted Jason with a woman in a porn movie.

Now Haylie has called her vicar to cancel the wedding.

She said: "There was no way I could marry an adult film star."

She told a magazine she found he was a romantic, thoughtful and passionate lover and six months after meeting he moved into her flat in Bristol.

Jason, who regularly bought her flowers and jewellery, often went away at weekends, telling her he was training clients in a gym.

After eight months, he proposed and bought her a diamond engagement ring.

But Jason's secret emerged when Haylie's friend Lisa tried to book a stripper for a hen party.
Lisa stumbled across a movie clip in which the male star looked like Jason.

Haylie checked the website - and realised it was Jason.

After he finally admitted he was earning money from making porn, she called off the wedding.
Haylie said: "I don't know if I will ever be able to trust a man again."

Jason said “I am sorry and did not want to hurt her. I still love Haylie and would have stopped doing porn if she had asked me to."

He added that he would be honest with women in future relationships.

Dirty little fiancé.

Starry starry night A Belgian teenager is suing a tattooist for £10,000 after claiming she woke up with 56 stars on her face.

Kimberley Vlaminck, 18, claims Rouslan Toumaniantz spoke such bad English and French that he misunderstood her at the Tattoo Boy studio in Courtrai, Belgium.

She claims she fell asleep while the tattooist went to work and woke up to find 56 stars on her face.

"It is horrible," sobbed Kimberley. "He has turned me into a freak. I can't go out on the street now without people looking at me."

However, Mr Toumaniantz insists she "got what she wanted" - and only complained when her dad got angry and her boyfriend dumped her.

Miss Vlaminch wants compensation to undergo laser treatment to remove the tattoos, but even after the treatment - that will cost upwards of 10,000 Euros, she is likely to be left with scars for life.

How the hell can you fall asleep having a tattoo done, let alone 56?

Star struck or what.

And finally:

Spilling mistaks The most commonly misspelt word in English is 'definitely' with many of us incorrectly writing it as 'definately', says a study.

Other problem words include sacrilegious, indict and bureaucracy, reports the Daily Mirror.
More than 30% of those polled blamed text messaging for the mistakes while 42% think poor spellers are "thick"., which polled 5,000 people, said: "Technology is contributing to our inability to spell."

The top 10 misspelt words: 1 Definitely; 2 Sacrilegious; 3 Indict; 4 Manoeuvre; 5 Bureaucracy; 6 Broccoli; 7 Phlegm; 8 Prejudice; 9 Consensus; 10 Unnecessary.

And if you are a relly bad speller, here is a quiz-Correct the spelling mistake quiz


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico