Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Cooking with gas: Stumpy Numpty: Down the drain: Bugarach magic: Don’t do it yourself: and a flying sheep.

Tipping it down at the Castle this morn, just returned from Tesco after purchasing the usual-stale bread, gruel and pussy food, and I dropped into the fuel forecourt bit to buy a pint of petrol, went in to pay and I see that the recession has hit hard-Tesco is now giving just one point for every two gallons of go juice-half of the previous amount.

That should help turnover.

His majesty has discovered rolled up foil balls, he has a nice collection of  twenty or so which he hides under the wardrobes, behind the washing machine and anywhere else he can think of so that I will make another and then recovers them and puts them all in a neat pile.

I won’t mention the Microsoft word....still trying to recover my data.....

The Piss Poor Policies Coalition Millionaires Club has announced that 800,000 of the poorest pensioners will be among the first to receive the new Warm Home Discount, worth at least £120 this year.
Payments are also expected to be made to disadvantaged families, the disabled and the long-term sick.
Energy companies are to be required by law to give rebates totalling £1.1 billion over the next four years, three times as much as they provided under the previous voluntary arrangements.
The regulations introducing the new scheme are already in force, according to the Department for Energy and Climate Change. The Energy Secretary, Chris Huhne, said: “The Warm Home Discount will give the most vulnerable pensioners practical help to manage rising energy bills through an annual rebate. Energy companies will be required by law to provide this support.”

And what will the “Energy” companies do? Put up their prices to cover the loss.

For five years Sean Murphy was driven to distraction by a painful blemish that no amount of creams, ointments or doctors' appointments could cure.
So he came up with his own radical and permanent procedure to remove the stubborn wart forever - he blasted it with a 12-bore shotgun.
But not only did the blast take off almost his entire finger, it also left him facing 15 years in jail for the illegal possession of a firearm.
Yesterday, with only a stump to show for the middle of his left hand, and a suspended 16-week prison sentence, he insisted he had no regrets.
“I’m happy with that,” he said outside Doncaster Magistrates’ Court, South Yorkshire.


A businessman tore up and flushed a handful of 'fake' £20 notes down the toilet - only to later find they were real.
The man, who does not wish to be named, was among a number of businessmen led to believe their cash was counterfeit on the Western Isles of Scotland.
It happened after bank staff became suspicious of £10 and £20 notes on the Isle of Lewis and a police inquiry was launched, reports STV.
The town's banks and many local shops stopped accepting £10 and £20 notes and purchased ultra-violet scanners in a bid to catch the counterfeit notes.
But the 'fake' notes have since been scrutinised by experts from the Serious Organised Crime Agency who pronounced them all absolutely genuine.
The businessman complained: "This is a right mess and it was caused by the RBS and Bank of Scotland.
"I tore up the £20 notes returned to me by the bank as fakes and I put them down the toilet to stop them getting back into circulation.
"I thought that was my public duty. How do I prove that and who is going to compensate me?"


A small French town has come under scrutiny by the official cult watchdog after droves of visitors descended on it, claiming it is the only place on Earth that will survive a 2012 apocalypse.
A report by the watchdog, Miviludes, published yesterday said the village of Bugarach near Carcassonne should be monitored in the run-up to 21 December, 2012, when the gullible say the world will end, according to a supposed Mayan prophecy.
Bugarach (population 200), has long been considered magical, partly due to what locals claim is an "upside-down mountain" where the top layers of rock are older than the lower ones.

Mr Fenech said he recently visited Bugarach, and found six settlements set up by members of the American Ramtha School of Enlightenment. Other "gurus" and messianic groups have been organising fee-paying conferences at local hotels. "This is big business," he said.

Good luck with that....

Sales of suicide kits, like the do-it-yourself asphyxiation hood used by a man to kill himself late last year, could soon be outlawed in the state of Oregon.
The state's House of Representative passed the bill on Monday to ban the products. It must now be considered in the state Senate, which passed similar legislation in May.
Sponsors say the bill would in no way impinge on a landmark 1997 state law legalizing physician-assisted suicides for terminally ill individuals in Oregon.
Washington is the only other state with such a statute on the books.
The newly passed Oregon bill was sparked by notoriety surrounding an elderly California woman who sells self-asphyxiation kits through a mail-order business, and the December suicide of one of her customers from Eugene, Oregon, 29-year-old Nicholas Klonoski.

 No repeat business there then....

 And finally:

Fire fighters risked life and 'lamb' to rescue a sheep - which was stuck on the roof of a house.
Residents dialled 999 after the sheep was spotted scrambling across roof tiles in the remote village of Pontycymer, South Wales.
A team from Bridgend Fire and Rescue Service took 40 minutes to bring the animal down from the terraced row using a Large Animal Rescue appliance.
A spokesman for Bridgend Fire and Rescue Service said the sheep had got onto the roof by climbing up from a garage at the rear of the terrace.
He said: "We have never had anything like that before, though we have found sheep in some difficult places. 

I am not even going to mention those boots by Wellington.

And today’s thought: Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time.


Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Gord’s up for it; Bees go bananas; Big Brit Burger; BMW Numpty and Ask a stupid question

This part of the blog seems to be becoming a fixture; today’s item is regarding the death of Fiona Pilkington, 38, and her daughter Francecca Hardwick, 18, who burned to death in a car after complaining of years of harassment by youths in their Leicestershire home.

It seems that Gord has decided to declare war on families from hell, by promising tough action on problem families who terrorise their neighbours as he delivers his final conference speech before the general election.

In his keynote speech to a Brighton conference under the banner "Operation Fightback", the Prime Minister will announce £36 million of additional funding to roll out "tough love" Family Intervention Projects (FIPs) to all 50,000 of the country's most difficult families over the coming five years.

Mr Brown will say he wants to see a "step change" so that all of those needing it - estimated to be 50,000 families with 100,000 children across the country - will go through a project by the end of the next Parliament.

So that won’t happen then.

First up:

And talking about Gord (don’t we all).

It is rumoured that he will accept the challenge to a televised debate with David Cameron and Nick Clegg in the upcoming general election campaign.

Reports suggest the Prime Minister is actively considering agreeing to an unprecedented TV debate and may announce his decision in his keynotes speech to conference.

Official sources were silent on the issue of a debate. But, it is understood that no final decision has yet been taken by Mr Brown.

A televised debate between the leaders of the three major parties has never previously taken place during a UK general election, often because the front runner in any contest fears losing ground through a poor on-screen performance.

Reminds me of the three stooges; wonder who will be Larry, Curly or Mo?

ANKARA, Turkey - A van carrying beehives crashed into a truck on Monday, and huge swarms of bees broke free and stung the injured and rescue workers at the scene.

In the end, about 20 people were taken to hospitals, six of them injured in the crash and the rest rescue workers who were stung by the bees, said the state-run Anatolia news agency.

One of the crash victims later died, but it was not immediately known if he had been killed by the impact of the accident or the insect attacks, said local Gov. Ahmet Altiparmak.

The rescue workers - including local beekeepers summoned to the scene - used hoses, blankets and rags to try to ward off the bees. But it took about an hour for them to remove the crash victims from the chaotic scene, Anatolia said.

The van hit the stationary truck on a road near the Mediterranean resort of Marmaris in southwestern Turkey, injuring four people in the van and two in the truck, Anatolia said. The impact burst open the bee hives in the van.

The bees swarmed over the injured and police, medics and fire-fighters who responded to the accident, forcing authorities to seek the help of about 50 beekeepers in the area.

As the crash victims waited for help, bees swarmed over them, Anatolia said.

In a similar accident in 2006, bees repeatedly stung the two drivers of a truck that carried beehives and overturned on a road in central Turkey. Police, fire-fighters and journalists who rushed to the scene also were attacked.

No shortage of Bees in Turkey then.

Britain's most fattening burger, the Super Scooby, has gone on sale, containing more than a day's recommended total calories.

The Super Scooby is loaded with four 1/4lb beef burgers, eight rashers of bacon, eight slices of cheese, 12 onion rings, heaps of salad and three sauces. At 2,645 calories, it exceeds the daily recommended limit for men by 145 calories.

The burger stands at six inches tall, has a circumference of 13 inches, and weighs in at 1.5kg – the same as a family-sized roast chicken. It also comes with an extra side portion of chips.

The Jolly Fryer takeaway in Filton, Bristol, are offering customers the meal for £10 – and provide a free can of diet coke for anyone who can finish it in one sitting.

Not surprisingly, the challenge of "beating the beast" has so far been unsuccessful.

Among its fans is Luigi Armato, 22, who has eaten a Super Scooby once a week since its creation earlier this year.

Whatever, but it is a bit pathetic compared to this.

Bank robber James Snell has been caught by police because of the personalised number plate on his BMW car that he used to stake out his target in Cardiff.

Snell drove his car with the registration "J4MES" to set up the £100,000 raid on a Halifax branch.

His gang of four robbers was caught when a witness remembered admiring the distinctive plate on the blue BMW - and gave details to police.

Snell, 26, and his brother Wayne, 34, were traced to their hideaway and found red-handed with more than £30,000 of the cash in bank-notes.

The number plate blunder was revealed when Wayne was jailed for eight years for robbery. James will be sentenced later.

The gang decided to use heavy metal drain covers to smash their way into a Halifax branch in Roath, Cardiff.

They set off in James Snell's BMW to plan the bank heist - including watching the branch and planning their getaway.

But Cardiff Crown Court heard they were spotted by a passer-by who remembered the J4MES number plate because it stood out.

"A witness saw a passenger lean out, lift a drain cover from the road and the car drove off," Prosecutor Tim Evans said.

"Lee Norville, who works for the council's highways department, later identified one of the two covers used to smash the windows at a branch of Halifax as coming from that drain. It is clear their arrogance contributed to their undoing."


And finally:

Ask a Stupid Question Day comes to Britain’s schools, encouraging pupils to ask teachers the daftest things they can think of.

The tradition dates back to the 1980s in America, and took place on 28 September or the last day of the school year. Pupils are encouraged to ask their teachers ridiculous questions.

Now British children are to get the same opportunity.

Here’s a stupid question: why do we have to keep taking on American “traditions”, such as Halloween and the like?