Saturday 28 May 2016

In-out-in-out and what’s this religion thing all about?


Much solar stuff, nary a whimsy of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of lack of cold and not a sign of skywater at the Castle this morn.

The moss has been mown, the weedy bits have been weeded, the hedgy bits have been looked at and stuff is growing faster than a fast thing can grow.

 


Is it just me or is this EU thingy really, really annoying, according to the Bremain lot we will suffer  world war, pestilence, boils, frogs, a crippled economy, a decade of austerity and  £4000-ish will be lost to every household if we leave.

And if we stay all will be well, immigration will reduce to a couple of people a year, the sun will always shine, it will only rain at night, every person in Blighty will be better orf, we will not have to accept any more EU laws, trade will be stonking, we will be left alone to govern ourselves and the second coming will ensue. 

On the other side, if we leave we will be able to make our own laws, immigration will fall to a couple of people a year, the sun will always shine, it will only rain at night, every person in Blighty will be better orf, we will not have to accept any more EU laws, trade will be stonking, we will be left alone to govern ourselves and the second coming will ensue. 

I suppose it all comes dahn to personal choices, we all know that politicians lie, cheat and try their hardest to fool us into believing them so that they can keep their jobs but more importantly (to them) their power. 

If we stay “they” will still get their jaunts to exotic places like Berlin, Brussels, India, China and America, if we leave they will still get their jaunts to exotic places like Berlin, Brussels, India, China and America. 

So what is the difference-buggered if I know, to be honest at my age-64 ¾ it doesn’t make much difference, personally I will vote to leave, I want to be able to go dahn the town and understand what everybody is saying, I want to know that housing is available for the young people, I want to know that there are jobs available for those that want them, I want to know that I can go where I want when I want and not be blown up by some bleeding religious lunatic with a bomb strapped to his plums.

I don’t want the people of Blighty to be absorbed into the mish mash of Europe to become some clone and lose our Blightyness we have a proud history (some of it anyway) we are known for our tolerance and good sense (some of it anyway) we are not “European” we live on an island which is quite full of people. We are innovators and inventors and are unique in the world, let’s keep it that way.


I suppose I just want my country back...
 

And talking of other religions

 

What the hell is that all about?
 

Apparently if there is a God there isn’t just one, so we have Gods who tell their followers different things, and everyone is at odds with everyone else and grudges are not easily forgiven.

Some followers are convinced that if we sin we will go to purgatory unless we admit our sins, some think that the crusades some 900 to 1100 years ago is a good reason to explode innocent people into small pieces (including their own followers), some think that they have been hard done by for millennia and have the right to revenge by annexing other peoples land.

Some think that all life is sacred and won’t even step on an ant (I like that one except for spiders).

And some believe in other things.

What we believe is of course up to us but what really pisses me orf is those that want to impose their religion on others, that seem to think if they are not followers of their God they should die or be invaded or absorbed into their beliefs.

If you live in Blighty say and believe in some prophet who says that their religion is the only one and can’t accept the British way of life then bugger orf to a land that supports your religion, so that you can stone people or behead them or cut their hands orf or whatever else is allowed in your religion. 

I make this point: all “holy” writings are written by man for man in order for the “upper lot” to control the lower lot, religion as in all things is about power and control, if God or a God had actually written a text to follow then there would only be one religion and we would all believe and follow the rules but God didn’t and human nature is to suspect those that have other ideals and think that they are right and everyone else is to be conquered.

 Well that’s what I think anyway... 

And today’s thought: What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” Buddha


Angus

Saturday 16 April 2016

No Surprises There Then:


Much lack of warm, oodles of sky water, more than a bit of atmospheric movement and not a glimpse of Dawns crack at the castle this morn.

It has been many moons since I put finger to keyboard, bits have dropped orf and been replaced, other bits have broken and been fixed, but poor old Angus is now up and “running” on seven out of eight cylinders.

His Maj is just as batty as ever, but has grown into a big, friendly, playful boy.

The butler is still refusing to “do” outside and the garden is waking up from its winter sleep.

Finally upgraded to Windows 10, with the help of “classic shell” I have managed to make it look like windows 7-win, win.

 

Many, many things have happened just lately, apparently “They” (otherwise known as the rich) have been hiding their stash abroad without telling the taxman, Prime Monster Damn “Dave” blames his dad, and is trying to scare us out of leaving the EU.

Not working is it Dave....

 

Son of a B.....aronet and alien reptile in disguise chancer at the exchequer George (where is Panama?) Osbourne has jumped on the Bremain band wagon and is threatening interest rate rises if we dump Europe.

 

Or maybe not......



 

Meanwhile old fart Jezza Corbyn who is also in the Bremain camp (this time anyway) was fined for sending in his tax return late.

 

                                                      Left across the big salty thing
 

A “Tiger whisperer has been mauled to death Malayan tiger inside its habitat, Stacey Konwiser, 38, suffered a "severe bite" wound while inside the big cat's habitat on Friday afternoon, say zoo officials.

She was performing basic tasks with the male Malayan tiger at the time, said zoo spokeswoman Naki Carter.

 

                                                          Dahn Unda and right a bit
 
 

Apparently those attached to the Victorian mode of transport have finally emerged into the nineteenth century-electric bikes.

With 2327 imported last year, they were 1 per cent of all bike imports, but this marked a near four-fold increase since 2012. Retailers report sales growth of 35 per cent a year.

Importer and retailer Neil Pollett, owner of Flux, in Ponsonby, says the "grey-power" age group were first to embrace e-bikes, but the trend had caught on with people in their 30s to 50s, and even younger.

New Zealand Post has 280 e-bikes and 25 more on order, a spokeswoman said. "The New Lynn, Rotorua, Kapiti and Timaru branches are all using e-bikes, plus we have a sprinkling of others around the country. The e-bikes are good on hills and on the flat.

 

And finally:

 

                                               Apparently the “new” Papa is a catholic
 
 

Better than being a Nazi I suppose.

 


 

And today’s thought:

It is terrible to speak well and be wrong. -Sophocles 

Angus

Sunday 14 September 2014

Still here: Homophobic explosion: Dickey gummy bear: Devil’s todger: Manhattan parking: Grassing on a thief: and something to do with Scotland.


Oodles of mist and mellow fruitfulness, just a whimsy of atmospheric movement, not a jot of skywater and bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this morn.

It’s been a bit of a “funny” last couple of months, two close members of the family have shuffled orf this mortal coil, my sister (expected) and “M”’s brother who decided to give up the ghost one day after the ninth anniversary of her exit (not expected).

On the way back from my sister’s thingy (400 mile round trip) the timing belt on the Honda also decided to expire and the engine blew up on the M4.

So I decided to go “European” and am now the owner of a Peugeot 206 in French “racing” green, not a bad motor, only done a handful of miles, it even has automatic lights and wipers (which behave like the French-they only seem to work in the mornings) and an “adaptive automatic gearbox” which is not bilingual.

Time will tell...

 

Poor old Angus has a touch of Ginger’s brother Arthur in his left knee and whilst visiting my general medic he decided to take an inordinate amount of interest in my prostate and rear exit suggesting that he should insert his finger into said orifice to check it out. The second word uttered by poor old Angus was orf, so we settled on a blood test instead.

More to come....

 

 

Apparently the annual floods have arrived in Pakistan causing many problems and lack of life, the solution was to blow up a couple of dykes.

 

How homophobic can you get.....?

 

 

Inappropriately shaped lollies on sale exclusively in the South Island have been branded offensive and recalled from shops.

Barrie Aburn, of Dunedin, said his daughters Cadence (8), Rhianna (6) and Payton (5) bought a bag of Dragon Sweets from Moyles SuperValue in Green Island and gave it to him for his birthday.

Mr Aburn's partner, Jacqui Hawkins, said she randomly took a sweet from the bag and found it was shaped in the form of male genitals.

Another lolly in the bag was a gummy baby with a penis, she said.

''I don't find anything amusing about it at all. I find it disgusting,'' she said.

Dutch Rusk managing director Willem Van de Geest, of Nelson, said the Stoke confectionery company imported 7200 bags of mixed gummy lollies, called Dragon Sweets, from a Chinese manufacturer about six weeks ago.

The lollies were originally designed for sale in England and were not considered offensive in Asia.

In Asia, the shape was considered a sign of fertility and health, he said.

 

Too much whacky baccy Mr Geest?

 

 

The statue of a devil with an erect penis could be back up in Vancouver if the city caves to residents who started a petition after it was removed.

Municipal crews in Vancouver took the statue away Tuesday after it mysteriously appeared near a highway, atop a pedestal that used to have a commemorative statue of Christopher Columbus.

The life-size red devil has black horns, a forked tail and an anatomically faithful -- and naked -- physique.

Officials told Global News it wasn't commissioned by the city.

But plenty of people want the "Beelzebub-With-a-Boner" statue re-erected, according to a Change.org petition which had more than 1,500 signatures as of Thursday evening.

"(It) should be reinstalled as a piece of public art and serve as a reminder that art is in the eye of the beholder and nothing more," Darryl Greer, who started the petition, wrote.

Greer points out the statue cost the city nothing, unlike a "cartoonish" porcelain dog on Main Street that cost nearly $100,000.

 

The devils in the detail.....

 

 

A new development, 42 Crosby Street, is pushing the limits of New York City real estate to new heights with 10 underground parking spots that will cost more per square foot than the apartments being sold upstairs.

The million-dollar parking spots will be offered on a first-come-first-served basis to buyers at the 10-unit luxury apartment building being developed by Atlas Capital Group at Broome and Crosby Streets, itself the former site of a parking lot. At $250,000 a tire, the parking spaces in the underground garage cost more than four times the national median sales price for a home, which is $217,800, according to Zillow.

So instead of a 5,000-square-foot house with a wine cellar in Dallas or a 3,500-square-foot home with a sauna in Seattle, one could choose 150 square feet in the basement of 42 Crosby, a condominium designed by the architect Annabelle Selldorf.


 Bloody hell! I hope Grimly dark doesn’t hear about this....

 

 

Maureen McKenna, 58, was caught on CCTV cameras for 40 minutes nicking a lawn.

With an accomplice, she removed the front lawn at 5am and both were seen walking away with pieces of it.

They even stopped for a cigarette break in Skelmersdale, Lancs.

McKenna was arrested and charged with theft after the footage circulated in July.

Appearing at Ormskirk Magistrates Court, she was sentenced to three months prison.

 
Grassed up? 
 

And finally: 


Apparently there is going to be a vote in the land of noisy squashy bags and deep fried mars bars about whether the Scots want to remain part of the UK or not.

Good luck to them, if they vote yes then Hadrian’s Wall will have to be heightened and extended, many-many people will have to apply for a new passport, oodles of Scottish MPs will have to be deported and the blue will disappear from the Union flag thingy.

 If they vote no then we will continue to be governed by plonkers with names like Cameron and Alexander, until next year anyway and all will calm dahn and Salmond will crawl back into his sporran and desist his ranting.

 
Or not.....


 

And today’s thought:


 

Angus

Sunday 6 July 2014

If: Boeing-Boeing splash: and Fappy wanker.


Medium amounts of lack of cold, maximum amounts of  sod all solar stuff, nary a sniff of atmospheric movement and imminent skywater at the Castle this morn.
Almost a lunar cycle has passed since the last post (where does time go?) and poor old Angus has been doing oodles of stuff-gardening, sorting out, travelling, shopping and much walking.
 

The "news" around Blighty is a bit iffy, it seems that our sports people have not done their best, and dirty old men and the kiddie fiddlers have been having a field day.

 

 

Managed to fuck up Wimbledon.

 

Nice one Murray...

 
 

Managed to fuck up the World Cup.

No real surprise there, but although I hate Footballers with a vengeance isn't it about time that

"foreign" players were banned from the leagues, then we might have a chance of gathering a

decent squad.....

 

 
 

Is about to fuck up a large piece of what used to be the railways by giving £90 million of fare

payers money to all and sundry (I wish) in order to give commuters faster Wi-Fi on chuff-

chuffs in about four years.

Shouldn't "they" use the dosh to make the trains better now?

 

 

 Is just a fuck up, and has decided that cash can no longer be used on any of London's buses in a move that Transport for London (TfL) says will save £24m a year.

Passengers will need a prepaid or concessionary ticket, Oyster card or a contactless payment card to travel.

TfL said only 0.7% of all bus journeys were paid for with cash and that tourists were unlikely to be affected.

 

Yeah right.....

 
 

Has been accused over a historical allegation of rape.

The Independent on Sunday says Lord Brittan, as he is now known, is understood to have been questioned last month about the claim, which relates to an incident in London in 1967.

The Tory peer reportedly strongly denies the allegations.

Lord Brittan, 74, was not an MP at the time of the alleged rape.

 

Oh well that's all fucking right then....

 

 

Is about to fucked up after being jailed for nearly six years for 12 indecent assaults against four girls - including one aged just seven or eight.

Harris, who was found guilty of offences that took place between 1968 and 1986, was told by the judge he had "no-one to blame but himself".

He displayed no emotion and stared straight ahead as he was jailed.

 

Still can't tell what it is then....

 

 

Has apparently been fucked up for a couple of months by a "virus" which forced him to take a break from his "tour".

The 72-year-old played an arena in Albany, New York, on Saturday night as part of his Out There tour.

The former Beatle called off the Japan leg of the tour and a South Korea show after falling ill on 16 May and later postponed a number of US dates.

He spent six days in a Tokyo hospital being treated for the viral infection.

Before his illness, Sir Paul had last performed on May 1 in Costa Rica.

 

Shame it wasn't a bit more virulent.

 

 

 Three Boeing 737 fuselages were fucked up when they tumbled down a steep bank and into the Clark Fork River in western Montana after a train derailed.

Montana Rail Link spokeswoman Lynda Frost said Saturday that it's unclear the type of challenge involved because it's the first time the company has faced such a task.

No one was injured when 19 cars from a westbound train derailed Thursday about 10 miles west of Alberton. The cause of the derailment is under investigation.

The train carried six fuselages. Three others also fell off but stayed on land. Frost says Boeing has had workers at the scene assessing the damage.

The fuselages were headed to Renton, Washington, to be assembled into completed airliners.

 

Or not......

 

And finally:

 

 

A mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 35-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested on Sunday at Metta Yoga in Phoenix after employees notified police about a man with no pants on peering through office windows.

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now spoke with reporters about the future of the organization after this recent setback. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy has helped tens of thousands of adults and children learn to live a masturbation-free lifestyle

Paul Horner is a great man. He’s passionate about his work, he loves being Fappy, he loves the kids. They even have a nickname for him, they call him the tickle monster. But now, all of that is possibly ruined by some trumped-up charges by the Phoenix five-oh, such a shame. I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this incident is resolved. Praise Fappy!”

 

Ironic Wanker....

 


 

And today's thought:

 

 

Angus

Sunday 8 June 2014

Well...: Crotch-less Dahn Unda: Portland Posers: Taking the piss in Miami: Canadian Dildo: and Missing money in OZ.


Not a hint of skywater, even less atmospheric movement, more than enough lack of cold and Dawn's crack stretches from East to West at the Castle this morn.
 

Well, another 21 light and dark things have passed since the last post, not a lot has been going on in bollixed Blighty, Niggle Garage did his thing and scooped up a few more seats in the Eurowaste Parliament, and didn't do his thing in the by election Norf of Watford, no surprises there then.

It's not that I don't like old Niggle (but I don't) it's that apart from getting out of the EU his "party" doesn't seem to have any other policies which worries me more than a tad.

Next year will sort it out.....

 


The garden is doing loads of things; there's blue stuff, red stuff, mauve stuff, white stuff and loads of other stuff bursting out, the moss is mown and the deck/recliner/rocker is out ready for a bit of vitamin D absorption and I have even got the shorts out.








 

After yet another holiday the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has returned to the Palace of Westminster for a while and the bickering continues.

 

 

Allegedly A shop manager was pelted with sex toys by an intruder wearing a wig and crotch-less pants in an Australian erotica store stick-up, police said.

The man forced his way into the Brisbane adult shop through the roof just before 5:30 am on Saturday, setting off the alarm.

"Upon being disturbed the man threw a number of items he was attempting to steal out of his hands and proceeded to climb back through the roof," police said in a statement.

"Police located the man climbing down from the roof of the business."

According to local media reports, the intruder was wearing a wig, crotch-less pants and a dress.

He was charged with breaking and entering and drug possession offences.



Seems he didn't know if he was coming or going........

 


Thousands of bicyclists, many of them stark naked, poured into the streets of Portland, Oregon last night for the 11th annual World Naked Bike Ride, a protest that promotes bike riding as an alternative to driving cars.
Nude cyclists with lights flashing in their tyre spokes rang bells as they barrelled down avenues lined with cheering spectators, while a naked, apparently pregnant woman rode in a bike trailer.
“This is a party, but it’s also a protest,” said Carl Larson, a ride spokesman. 
“It is about oil dependence, cycling vulnerability and body” image.
Jennifer Young, 40, who was at the ride with her 16-year-old son and was painted blue head to toe with fairy wings on her back, saw the goal as showing cyclists’ vulnerability, saying “I think it’s a little more evident when we’re naked.

 

Well if they worked a bit harder they could buy a motor........

 


A Miami man who, police say, shot a man while they were arguing  faced a judge Friday.
Gilberto Martinez, 28, was arrested on Thursday, June 5th after police said he pulled a gun on two people, shooting one, after they commented over Martinez peeing in front of a home.
According to his arrest report, Jose Martinez and Genaro Merlos had just returned home from the store when they saw Gilberto Martinez urinating in front of their home.
The two men told the Gilberto he should not be doing that because there were small children at the house, according to the report.
Gilberto allegedly took offense to the comment and pulled out a black hand gun, stated the report.
Jose Martinez attempted to run away but was shot three times in the torso area.
Gilberto, then allegedly turned the gun on Merlos and said, “You too,” and pulled the trigger.

According to the report, Merlos, “heard the click of the gun but nothing happened.”

Gilberto then ran away but was later arrested.

Police said Gilberto Martinez later admitted to shooting the Jose Martinez  and then leaving the area.

Gilberto Martinez is charged with one count of attempted second degree murder.

A judge on Friday ordered him to be held on $50,000 bound plus house arrest.

 
Let's hope he has an indoor lav....

 

 
An hour west of Newfoundland’s provincial capital, Dildo is a quiet, meandering harbor town with a population of 1,200. At one time, it flourished on the back of a burgeoning whaling and fishing industry; today, its name is that only thing that keeps people coming.

Though there may not be a whole lot to do there (the top three “Dildo attractions” on Tripadvisor are all hotels), the town’s residents are a proud, boisterous bunch, and partake in a number of annual festivities. Each summer, “Captain Dildo” -- an old wooden statue of a boat skipper -- leads the Annual Dildo Parade through the streets. (If you’re lucky enough to attend, be sure to snag an “I Survived Dildo Day” souvenir T-shirt -- they’re a hot commodity!)

 
Must add that to the bucket list....

 
And finally 

 
Allegedly Australians lose more than $100 million worth of coins down the back of sofas and car seats each year, the Royal Australian Mint said.
Mint chief executive Ross MacDiarmid told a government hearing that 255 million coins disappear annually and are replaced.
"Most of the coins that we provide are against coins that disappear down the back of chairs, down the back of car seats, into rubbish dumps and, in some cases, are taken overseas," he told a Senate committee Tuesday night.

"We are talking about AUD$110 million ($112.2 million) worth of coins."

 
Which is about £4.50 in proper money.....

 
 

And today's thought:

Dawn of the dead
 
 

Angus

Sunday 11 May 2014

So: Knob head 'Dave' gets it over Europe: Wait a week to see your general medic: Cover your manhole: Serial crapper: Weird Eurovision winner: and the Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher.



Much skywater, even more atmospheric movement, quite a lot of lack of cold and Dawn's crack seems to have healed over.

It seems like it's been three weeks since the last post, mainly because I went dahn to Tesco on the gruel, stale bread substitute and his Maj's food run a while ago and picked up an infection of the nasal passages, I think they had a catch one get one free deal on at the time because the old bowels have been less than satisfactory since.

But I waited a week to see my general medic who diagnosed a sinus infection and a stay close to the toilet thingy.

After a few days of industrial antibiotics poor old Angus is on the mend.

 


Dave Cam our delightful Prime Monster is telling us that he understands as he appeals directly to those disenchanted with the EU ahead of the local and euro elections.
Writing in The Telegraph, he proclaims his “passionate” and “optimistic” belief in Britain’s potential, arguing that “real” patriots should vote Tory rather than be tempted to support the UK Independence Party.
“If you’re thinking 'I’ve heard all this before’ – I get it,” he says, before going on to offer his personal guarantee that he will resign as prime minister if he cannot deliver an in-out referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU after the election next year.
 

Fat fucking chance, and who the hell is going to vote for Niggle Garage and his load of racist Numptys....

 


Allegedly Patients waited more than a week to see their GP on almost 50 million occasions last year, new figures show.

An analysis by the Royal College of GPs found that 47 million GP appointments in 2013 – one in six of all consultations – involved a wait of at least seven days to see a doctor or nurse.

In 2012, the figure was 40 million – suggesting a rise of 17 per cent, year on year. If the trend continues, projections suggest that next year 57 million GP appointments will involve a wait of a week or more.

Senior doctors last night warned GPs were buckling under the demands of an ageing population, and that too often only those who “shouted the loudest” were able to secure help quickly. Experts said some patients were forced to wait even longer than a week, with delays of up to a month for appointments at some surgeries.

 
So it's us old farts that are causing it; still waiting times should plummet when they bring in the ten pound charge to see your general medic....

 


 

 A scooter rider has been caught on camera falling off his vehicle - and then sliding straight into an open manhole.
He loses balance after clipping the right wing mirror of the car, goes into a skid, comes off his scooter and falls down the hole.
The accident was filmed in Taiwan and has been viewed more than 30,000 times since it was uploaded to YouTube.
The rider luckily escaped with just a few minor injuries.

 
Luckily my manhole has never has a scooter rider up it.....

 


 


Deputies are looking for a man who is accused of defecating in multiple yards in a Houston neighborhood.

The man has allegedly struck one home on Byrne Street so many times it forced the homeowners to install security cameras to catch the man in the act.

Police are looking for the man seen in the surveillance photos, saying he has defecated in the front yard of that home six times -- and has spread his waste to other homes in the area.

"This is our neighborhood. Whatever people think should go on around here -- pooping is not OK," neighbor Aimee Parsons told KPRC-TV in Houston.

 

Oh shit......

 


 This:

 

The "winner" of the Eurowasting Song doodah turns out to be a bloke with a beard wearing a dress and singing a song that should have been consigned to the editing room floor.

Apparently Austrian drag act Conchita Wurst has been crowned the winner of the 59th annual Eurovision Song Contest held in Denmark's capital, Copenhagen.

The singer, whose real name is Tom Neuwirth, won with the song Rise Like a Phoenix, collecting 290 points.

The Netherlands finished second with 238 points, with Sweden in third place with 218 points.

The UK's Molly Smitten-Downes came 17th, with 40 points for her song Children of the Universe.

 

Another reason to get out.....

 

And finally

 

 

It seems that the Germans have a thing that can crack soft boiled eggs and is called the Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher.

Wonderful: I've had one for years...it's called a spoon.....

 

That's it: I'm orf to get a transfusion...if I can get an appointment...

 

And today's thought:


 


Angus