Sunday Section

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Still raining down here in ‘Ampshire, so once again I am forced to relax and will watch the F1 GP later, life is all go………

A while ago I posted about cameras getting people into trouble because they have taken photographs in public and were arrested by the police.

Well it seems that times have changed:

Met warns officers off photographers (The Register)

The Met Police has issued guidance to its officers to remind them that using a camera in public is not in itself a terrorist offence.

There has been increasing concern in recent months that police have been over-using terrorism laws and public order legislation to harass professional and amateur photographers. The issue was raised in Parliament and the Home Office agreed to look at the rules.

The guidance reminds officers that the public do not need a licence to take photographs in the street and the police have no power to stop people taking pictures of anything they like, including police officers.

The over-used Terrorism Act of 2000 does not ban photography either, although it does allow police to look at images on phones or cameras during a search to see if they could be useful to a terrorist.

Section 58 of the Act covers the offence of eliciting, publishing or communicating information about any member of the armed forces, spying agencies or the police. But officers must show a reasonable suspicion that the person is involved in terrorism - it is not a blanket ban on photographing working police officers.

The guidelines also remind coppers that they will often work with the media, which can impact on the Met's reputation. Therefore: "it's crucial to maintain good working relations with its members, even in difficult circumstances".

So you can take snaps of almost anything you want, but the “police” still have the power to “inspect” your photos if they have “proper” cause.

This is a good reason to download your snaps and delete your data card before you go out with your camera.

And then they go and do this:

Detectives will be required to consider accessing telephone and internet records during every investigation under new plans to increase police use of communications data.

The policy is likely to significantly increase the number of requests for data received by ISPs and telephone operators.

Just as every investigation currently has to include a strategy to make use of its subjects' financial records, soon CID officers will be trained to always draw up a plan to probe their communications.

The plans have been developed by senior officers in anticipation of the implementation of the Interception Modernisation Programme (IMP), the government's multibillion pound scheme to massively increase surveillance of the internet by storing details of who contacts whom online.
Police moves to prepare for the glut of newly accessible data were revealed today by Deputy Assistant Commissioner Janet Williams. She predicted always considering communications data will lead to a 20 per cent increase in the productivity of CID teams.

She told The Register IMP had "informed thinking" about use of communications data, but denied the plans gave the lie to the government line that massively increased data retention will "maintain capability" of law enforcement to investigate crime.

More broadly, new National Police Improvement Agency guidelines will insist on computer training at every stage of development, so that once they are senior investigators, detectives will be "experts" in digital investigation. All current detectives will also be expected to acquire new skills.

Within two years, those without digital investigation skills will "be redundant", Williams warned.

And that is a bad thing?

But there is some good news:

A couple of days ago a budgie was found in the sea off of Brixham, the lucky little plucker has now been re-united with his owner.

Grandfather-of-12 Mr Mike Peel had lost some birds on Saturday it was not until he saw a picture of the normal grey budgie in his local newspaper on Wednesday - his birthday - that he realised it was his.

The retired former cleaning business owner from Brixham, and budgie enthusiast, said that he had resigned himself to the loss of several birds that escaped from an aviary at the bottom of his garden after he left their enclosure unlocked on Saturday as he went for lunch.


"It's amazing," he said.
"I really didn't expect to see it again, I really didn't.

"I've never received one back and I don't know anyone that has.

"I found out on my birthday - it was a lovely birthday present."

"It's a bonus."

Ok Mike, we get the idea……

Want to get pregnant?

Go for ugly men, Handsome men who are lucky in love may not be the best bet as a mate for women hoping to get pregnant, researchers have said.

Uglier men with fewer notches on their belts are likely to be more productive between the sheets, it is claimed.

Research suggests that in many species, the most desirable males restrict their "sperm load" with each mating to ensure enough to go around.

The same could be true of humans and other primates, say scientists.

If they are right, women looking for the best chance of getting pregnant might be advised to avoid handsome Lotharios.

The theory proposes that males have evolved to look for the optimum "sperm load" per mating.
This varies depending on how many available females there are to mate with, and what the chances of mating with them are.

Which is all a moot point now that they have “invented” test tube sperm?

Exam students can 'phone a friend'

School pupils in Austria are being given a phone-a-friend lifeline during exams to boost their results.

Teacher Reinhard Peter - inspired by Who Wants to be a Millionaire - allows students to call a series of experts if they're stumped by questions at his high school in Bregenz.

He said: "They can call doctors, teachers and other people to ask their help."

But he said the experts were often more nervous about the exams and getting the right answers than the students.

Mr Peter said: "Many of them suddenly have exam anxiety as though they were sitting in the classroom taking the exam.

"They get nervous on the phone and feel that if they give the wrong answer they are not only failing themselves but the pupil who is calling them as well."

He said that so far all his pupils had passed the exams though using the phone-a-friend lifeline.
"The worst mark any of them have got is 'satisfactory'," he said.

Sort of defeats the object doesn’t it?

And finally:

MPs are revolting

MPs are in a huff about the crackdown on expenses, with some threatening to resign rather that toe the line.

Apparently they are “seething with anger” after commons officials threatened to stop their second home allowances unless they provided full details of all mortgage or rental agreements were provided by the end of the month.

The reforms include slashing the limit on mortgage and rent claims from £24,000 to £15,000 a year and banning MPs from claiming for repairs on their second homes.


Simple solution: call a general election now, do away with second homes completely, and reimburse rail travel tickets only.


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Saturday Snippets

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What a shame, it’s raining and I can’t mow the lawn, I will have to force myself to sit here and relax instead.

First up:

Universal translators.

The French paper LaTribune has launched a multi-lingual version of its website using automatic translation.

Problem is it doesn’t work very well:

"Ryanair loan to make travel of the passenger’s upright," read a typically bizarre headline on La Tribune's site this week above a story in equally mangled English on the low-cost airline's plans to make people fly standing up.

"The Chinese car in ambush," "Internet Explorer: mistrust!" and "Assets of the continental right in management of the crisis" were some other mysterious headlines the same day on the site.


I used the Google translator and got these results:

“Our good tables to discover” and “The budget deficit widened by French 38 billion in one year”.

Still, Cest la Vie as some people would spell it.

Immaculate Conception?

A Polish mum is suing an Egyptian Hotel after claiming her daughter got pregnant using their mixed swimming pool.

Magdalena Kwiatkowska demanded compensation after her 13-year-old daughter came back from the family holiday expecting a baby.

Tourist authorities in Warsaw confirmed they had received the complaint which states that the girl conceived because of stray sperm in the pool.

"The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there and is determined to go ahead with the case," said one travel industry source.


I think Mum should have a talk about the birds and bees with her offspring.

After the Turtles at JFK.

We now have a drunken badger in Germany that got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road — only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea.

Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.




Jet propelled boozy badger.

A bit more animal news:

FIRE crews are investigating whether a cat urinating on a laptop sparked a fire that has destroyed most of a home in a Gold Coast gated community.

Police said two teen boys, aged 16 and 18, were home alone for the weekend when the fire broke out about 9am yesterday morning in the Royal Pines Golf Resort at Benowa.

An emergency services spokeswoman said the blaze began in the corner of one of two bedrooms at the back of the two-storey rented house.

It is understood initial investigations traced the fire to a laptop computer.

Police investigations revealed the boys said they had let the pet cat out of the house at 5.30am, but it had somehow made its way back inside and urinated on a laptop in the corner of one of the boys' rooms.

The emergency services spokeswoman said investigations into the incident would continue today, but added the fire was not believed to be suspicious.


Two teenage boys, alone in a house, yeah let’s blame the pussy; mind you I suppose it could have been trying to drown the mouse.




And finally:



We have all brought one; a car that is not, well, fit for purpose, I mentioned a Range Rover a while back and it seems that the trend is catching on.

A BMW owner filled his convertible with lemons and parked it out the front of a Sydney dealership from 5am this morning.

The car caused chaos on the Princes Highway at Sylvania as commuters slowed to a standstill to watch the spectacle.

Bryan Wiseman, of Sylvania, said his luxury purchase was plagued with mechanical and electrical faults from the time he bought it new, two years ago.

"It all started not long after I bought the car when the mats rolled up over the pedals, causing me to have an accident because I rode up over a gutter (to avoid an accident).

"It has broken down in the middle of the night; I had to wait for four hours to get it towed because the thing wouldn't start.

"I've had the window jam: I got stuck on the side of the M5 midway because the roof wouldn't go back on."

Mr Wiseman said BMW had applied bigger strips of Velcro to the mats but refused to fix a dent to the bottom of the car.

"I never made a claim on my insurance in my life and I'm not about to start now," he said.
He parked the vehicle out the front of the dealership, covered in lemon stickers and filled with real lemons, in a bid to end a two-year battle with manager Anthony Rodriguez.
The BMW 335ci was the third car he had purchased from the dealership.

"They said we can't fix it because we don't know what is wrong with it," Mr Wiseman said.

Sylvania BMW manager Mr Rodriguez refused to respond to Mr Wiseman's prank this morning. "Sylvania BMW has no comment to make," a spokeswoman said.



You pays your money…………..


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The French, Monkeys, Maggots and Chicken Dung

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At last, something we are not the worst at:

Penny-pinching, rude and terrible at foreign languages: French people are the world's worst tourists according to a study of the global hotel industry released on Thursday

Carried out last month by TNS Infratest, the study asked 40,000 hotels worldwide to rank tourists from 27 countries based on nine criteria, from their politeness to their willingness to tip.
Clean and tidy, polite, quiet and uncomplaining, Japanese tourists came top of the crop for the third year running.

At the other end of the spectrum, French holidaymakers and business travellers were the least generous or ready to tip, and ranked next-to-last for their overall behaviour and politeness.
Pushy French travellers made amends on elegance -- classed third -- as well as for their discretion and cleanliness.

But the French were the least ready to try a new language, unlike US tourists who were most likely to swallow their pride and order a pizza, baguette or paella in the local lingo.
US tourists also got top marks for generosity -- as the biggest spenders and tippers -- but fell short on other counts as the least tidy, the loudest, the worst complainers, and the most badly dressed.

Despite clichés about beer-guzzling hordes descending on Mediterranean resorts each summer, Britons came a surprise second for their overall behaviour, politeness, quietness and even elegance -- second for dress sense only to the Italians.

But the model Japanese were followed by Canadians as the least likely to whinge when a trip goes wrong.

France's rivals for the "worst tourist" tag, Spaniards and Greeks came near the bottom of the pack in almost every category.

Cest la vie.

Monkey see, monkey correct prefixes.

It seems that researchers have “discovered” that cotton-top tamarins are able to spot if the order of syllables in a word is "wrong".

They familiarised the monkeys with two-syllable terms, and recorded their reaction to words that were not consistent with that syllable pattern.

The team says the work illustrates how many animals use patterns that have become intrinsic to human language.

And this provides evidence of the "non-lingual" origin of certain aspects of language, the group told BBC News.

In the experiment, the monkeys were played a series of different words that all shared either the same first syllable or second syllable.

The idea was to investigate the origins of the prefixes and affixes used in many languages to indicate tense.

In English, for example, the past tense of a verb can be composed using the suffix "-ed" - "walk" becomes "walked".

Professor Hauser described how evident this innate ability is when a child learns language.
"As a child learns to use the past tense," he said, "they may generalise and use a suffix wrongly, but they will never generalise in the wrong direction.

"You never hear them say ed-walk instead of walked."

Of course you don’t because they are Human, not monkeys.

Fancy applying for a clinical trial?

Two hundred patients are being sought for a trial looking at how efficient maggots are at wound cleaning.

Cardiff University is teaming up with Bridgend-based ZooBiotic, the UK's only commercial producer of medicinal-quality larvae for the 12-month trial.

Eight hospitals across England and Wales will collaborate on the project.

Researchers will gather evidence over 12 months how effective maggots can be in speeding up healing and cutting the length of hospital stays.

Prof Keith Harding, head of Cardiff University's department of wound healing, said Wales was leading the way in this area of research.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that maggots are extremely successful in the speedy and effective cleaning of wounds and the year-long trial aims to translate that into hard evidence.

ZooBiotic spokeswoman Gill Davies said: "There is a huge amount of anecdotal evidence indicating that maggots are extremely effective in wound cleaning.

"The time has come for this to be backed by further clinical evidence, which is why, we, as a small business, are prepared to invest significantly in conducting this important UK-wide clinical trial.

"It has taken us more than a year to set the wheels in motion, clearing the protocol with regulatory bodies and ethics committees.

Nice, but hasn’t this been known about since Waterloo?


And finally:

What’s in a name?

A Chinese girl who was named Chicken Dung has had it legally changed now that she is an adult.

Zhu Xiansheng, the father of the girl, gave her the name on the advice of a doctor after she was ill as a baby and chicken manure was used to treat her.

She was named Ji Shi, which means Chicken Dung, but always hated the name, reports the Southwest Morning Post.

However, she was stuck with it until she was 18, the legal age for name changing in China, when she changed it to Yingzi.

"At last, she is no longer afraid to show anybody her ID card," said her father, of Lindong village, Fujian province.

Other “wonderful” children’s ‘names are:

Aanisah: Macy Gray (also mother to Tahmel)

Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon

Diezel Ky: Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis (also parents to Denim Cole)

Fifi Trixibell: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (also parents to Peaches and Pixie)

Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin

Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)

And my favourite: Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)



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Budgies, Turtles, Sheds, Bottled water and Prezza

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Still haven’t mowed the lawn-too wet, and the forecast isn’t good, so next week maybe.

First up:

Brixham Budgie does a duck.

Cathy Jackman, a scuba diver, was about to dive into the water when she saw the hapless budgie floating on the surface.

She made three passes in her boat to pluck the confused budgie out of the ocean and immediately sailed back to shore and took it to an animal rescue centre.

Officials at the RSPCA say they are "amazed" the animal flew so far and was able to survive let alone be spotted in the middle of the ocean.

The bird, nicknamed Captain, must be a pet because budgies are only found wild in the arid outback of Australia.

Captain is now recovering at the Little Valley Animal Shelter in Exeter, where staff are waiting for the owner of the pet to come forward and collect him.


What a lucky little plucker.

Turtles shut down JFK

NEW YORK (AP) — a runway at John F. Kennedy International Airport was shut down briefly Wednesday morning after at least 78 Turtles emerged from a nearby bay and crawled onto the tarmac.

Grounds crews eventually rounded up the wayward reptiles and deposited them back in the brackish water farther from airport property, but not before the incident disrupted JFK's flight schedule and contributed to delays that reached nearly 1 1/2 hours.

"Apparently, this is something the tower has experienced before," said Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Jim Peters. "I guess it's the season for spawning."

The invasion began unfolding, slowly, at around 8:30 a.m., when an American Eagle flight crew reported seeing three turtles while taxiing out for departure. Before long, a chorus of pilots was radioing the tower to report turtles either on the end of a runway that juts out into the water, or approaching on the grass.

The FAA halted flights for about 12 minutes shortly before 9 a.m. while some of the turtles were cleared away, and then quit using the runway entirely after getting new reports of "massive numbers" of turtles on the tarmac, Peters said.

And the best quote:

“Jets hit turtles a few times each year at JFK, usually in the final days of June or earliest days in July, according to the FAA's wildlife strike database. There have been no recent reports of the strikes causing any damage to an airplane.”

That’s unless they are Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of course.

But is it art?

An artist who constructed a cabin at the bottom of his garden without any plans has been crowned the winner of this year's Shed of the Year. Steven Harwood won the prestigious accolade after following a vision he had in his head to build a "kite cabin" at his home in Llandysul, near Carmarthen, West Wales.

The building gets its name from the view it presents of local kites which wheel in the sky above while looking for prey in an adjacent field.

The 41-year-old, who runs an online cabinet-making business, spent just £1,500 and three months making the 16ft x 16ft (5m x 5m) hideaway in his spare time.

It comes fully equipped with satellite television, a video, two beds and a compost toilet as well as being furnished and carpeted.

It also has a log burner and insulated walls to ensure guests will not feel the chill in the winter months.

Mr Harwood will get a year's supply of cheese, a £50 garden centre voucher, a cushion and a wind-up radio for winning the competition.

Mr Harwood said "I'm an artist so I suppose I'm quite creative and once I get an idea in my head it stays there."

It’s just a shed for ****’* sake!

Mind you the cheese must be worth a fortune (see yesterdays blog).

Bottled water ban

Way down under in Bundadoon in the Southern Highlands of New South Wales there is a revolution dripping, boasting a population of just 2,000, they voted by a huge majority in favour of the move with a show of hands at a public meeting.

Huw Kingston, a local businessman and organiser, said almost 400 people turned up to the Bundanoon Memorial Hall, with only two casting dissenting votes.

"It was the biggest ever turnout in the community here at Bundanoon – it's overwhelming support,'' he said.”We can now continue with our route of making Bundanoon Australia's first bottled water-free town.

"We can go forward with the strength of the community and the businesses right behind us.''
Shops in the town will now be banned from stocking and selling bottled water and filtered water fountains will be placed on Bundanoon's main street so people can fill their bottles for free. Visitors to the town will also be discouraged, but not banned, from drinking bottled water.

Activists say bottling water causes unnecessary use of plastics and fuel for transport. A New South Wales study found that in 2006, the industry was responsible for releasing 60,000 tonnes of gases blamed for global warming.

Since the announcement that the town was serious about giving up bottled water, the New South Wales state government has jumped on the bandwagon, ordering all state government departments and agencies to use water from the tap instead of buying bottles.


Now there’s an idea: get water from the tap to drink, why didn’t someone think of that sooner.


And finally;

Prezza throws a “wobbler”

John Prescott is to contact police over claims private investigators allegedly working for News of the World reporters intercepted his mobile phone messages.

The Guardian alleges News Group Newspapers paid £1m in out-of-court settlements after its journalists were accused of involvement in phone tapping

Prezza said “"I had no evidence of this, though frankly a lot of the stories in the paper were coming from information that was highly private," he said.”It's quite staggering really."

And writing in his blog, he questioned the role of the News of the World editor at the time, Andy Coulson, who now works as director of communications for Conservative party leader David Cameron. “

I have gained exclusive access to a typical day of prezza phone calls:

1 call to Tony asking what was for lunch at the cabinet meeting.

3 calls to a builders’ merchant, inquiring about “fake” beams and:

14 calls to the local Chinese takeaway, requesting-one number 5, two number 33’s, 1 number 47 and 3 number 22’s (double portions).


And a final call home to ask what was for dinner.



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Scarecrows, witches, cheese and a bit of titillation

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The rain has eased up, the sun is back and I have to mow the bloody lawn, but at least I have stopped “leaking” and my hair is dry for the first time in over a week.

But it seems that no matter what the weather is like there are always news items to amuse and amaze.

And I have a small confession, I started to watch the Michael Jackson memorial thing, for the first five minutes until they wheeled the body in………..




First up:

Police in Bancaster, Norfolk Have arrested and detained a scarecrow that was made to look like a copper with a speed gun.

The 7ft tall scarecrow was put up on the roadside to promote a village scarecrow festival while also encouraging speeding motorists to slow down.

However, a passing policewoman took it away in her patrol car within four hours of it being put up.

The scarecrow was later reported stolen by festival organiser Miranda Skillings, 56, who had earlier got permission from police to put up the fake traffic officer.

After three hours Norfolk Police located the scarecrow and an officer was sent to replace it.

However, Mrs Skillings was asked to remove the fake radar gun as the force believed it was giving out "an inappropriate message" and might confuse drivers.

Mrs Skillings said: "We get people to put up scarecrows in their gardens and funny places as a prelude to the fete. Last year we had around 50 in the village.

Insp Dave Buckley, of Norfolk Police's Hunstanton and Burnham neighbourhood policing team, said in a statement: "We gave permission for the organisers to create a scarecrow of a police officer - but the owner of the scarecrow used a plastic drinks bottle to symbolise a speed radar gun.

"As a result an officer removed the scarecrow as it portrayed an incorrect and inappropriate message to passing motorists. We appreciate the spirit of the family-oriented festival but our priority is the safety of motorists.


Since when?





Wookey Hole needs a witch: the tourist attraction near Wells, Somerset, has advertised at the local Job Centre for someone to teach visitors about witchcraft and magic after its previous employee retired.

The successful applicant 'must be able to cackle' and 'must not be allergic to cats' but will enjoy a salary of £50,000 pro rata based on work during school holidays and at weekends.

"So the job is straightforward: live in the cave, be a witch, and do the things witches do."

Auditions for the role are being held on July 28 in front of a panel of judges who will assess applicants costume and character as well as the ability to perform witch tests.

"Ambitious witches, looking for a key career move, should turn up dressed for work and bring any essential witch accoutrements.

"A limited range of potion ingredients will be available.

"We are witchless at the moment so we need to get the role filled as soon as possible.

"We are looking for someone who is friendly, a little mischievous and with lots of character."


So if you want to fill Wookey hole’s hole, go for it.



Tesco are so worried about losing money to shoplifters they have added security tags to ……..cheese.

Yep, the biggest retailer in Christendom thinks that cheddar has become a “luxury” item.
The store in Brockworth, Gloucester, has acted because of a spike in thefts following the economic downturn.

A Tesco spokesman did not say what rise in shoplifting there had been at the store, but said: "We have a number of security measures that we enforce in our stores across the UK.

"The decision to use security tags is always made by the manager of the store and tags are used on various items such as bottles of spirits, all at the manager's discretion."

The Retail Food Consortium added that electronic tags could soon be put on all supermarket food.

"We expect crime to go up during the recession," a spokesman said. "Shops will look at this and step up security."

Last year it was reported that thefts were up by more than a third at Tesco since the effects of the economic downturn began to bite

Couple of thoughts:

Shoplifters are the scum of the earth, and in no way do I condone theft.

Tesco have more than doubled the price of cheese “because of the recession”, why not reduce the prices to a reasonable level, they can afford it and it would reduce the risk of food being stolen.



Titillation, now there’s a word I haven’t heard for a long time, but apparently a poll of nearly 2,000 women aged between 45 and 60 found that romantic fiction was the most popular genre – chosen by 35 per cent of those surveyed.

Nearly two thirds said they liked raunchy scenes in novels, and more than half described sex in books as "titillating".

A further 10 per cent of those questioned on their reading habits said they actively chose books which featured lots of sex scenes.

Meanwhile crime and mystery novels got 33 per cent of the vote, and other novels 31 per cent.
Top 10 books women would take to a desert island, according to the survey:

1 Bridget Jones's Diary – Helen Fielding (20 per cent)

2 Atonement – Ian McEwan (14 per cent)

3 Harry Potter (any book) – J K Rowling (13 per cent)

4 The Time Traveler's Wife – Audrey Niffenegger (9 per cent)

5 Murder on the Orient Express – Agatha Christie (8 per cent)

6 The Other Boleyn Girl – Philippa Gregory (8 per cent)

7 The Life of Pi – Yann Martel (7 per cent)

8 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks (7 per cent)

9 Notes on a Scandal – Zoe Heller (7 per cent)

10 Memories of a Geisha – Arthur Golden (6 per cent)

Reference books were the least popular. Among these, cookbooks were favourites, according to the survey by the moisturiser brand Astral.


Well a rolling pin isn’t “titillating” or is it?


And finally:


A bridge too fat Ambulances have been banned from crossing Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol because they are too heavy.

The vehicles will no longer be able to use the historic bridge to get to emergency calls.

Great Western Ambulance Service (GWAS) has sent a memo to paramedics informing them that they must not use the 150-year-old bridge, built by engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

The Grade I listed landmark has a weight limit of four tonnes, but when fully loaded the new-style ambulances brought in last year weigh five tonnes.

The new emergency vehicles are fitted with additional equipment like CCTV cameras and a charging unit for defibrillators.

Instead ambulances will now have to use the A4 Portway and Brunel Way across the Cumberland Basin, a detour of around two miles, to get to and from North Somerset.

But rapid response vehicles will still be able to use the bridge and GWAS said the distance will be made up in crews being able to drive faster on the Portway and Brunel Way.

Melanie Glanville, spokesman for GWAS, said: "We do have to do a slight detour but the distance is made up in speed.

"Our vehicles have been getting heavier and we work closely with the bridge master so we know that if there is a dire emergency situation and traffic is bad in Bristol he will close the bridge so that we can still use it."

Fire engines are also unable to use the bridge.

All vehicles are weighed as they approach the suspension bridge and if the weight limit is exceeded an alarm is triggered and the barriers allowing access remain closed.



Oooops!



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Something a bit more serious

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Just for a change, something for those of you who are medically minded, but maybe don’t have the time or the inclination to research the GMC.

Pop over to one of my other blogs-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE and have a read, it is purely information, no cryptic comments or lambasting.

Make your own decision: if I am wrong tell me.

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Nude Pics, Porn channels and AH

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Apparently there is a weather warning for the country, yes we will have weather all day.


Why it doesn’t pay to annoy your kids:


Down under in New Zealand an 18 year old tried to sell some nude photos of his mum on the Trade Me site after a row with his mater.

Trade Me pulled the auction the next day, but the student, identified only as Michael, was soon back trying to sell a series of eight-year-old "glamour" shots of his mother, including one of her in underwear.

His mother Jennifer, 44, who did not want the family name published, told the paper she was "pretty annoyed" when she found out about the first set of photographs.

"He was quite naughty... I thought 'you cheeky little git'," she said.

But she was also annoyed that Trade Me withdrew the second set of pictures, of which she approved.

"I insisted Michael show me first, the little bugger. They are quite artistic. There is nothing dodgy about them."

"I wanted 50 per cent of the sale, but more than that I miss the nice comments."

Trade Me spokesman Jon Macdonald said both auctions were withdrawn because of "inappropriate" photos.

"We don't really want to be the place where people list photos of their mums in their underwear," he said.


Like mother like son?




Fancy a job, know what I mean.


The Job Centre has advertised a job for a host of a pornographic television channel.

The ad states that the successful candidate would be required to work 'semi-nude' and that the job 'may cause embarrassment to some people', although it pays £220 per shift.

The winning applicant will work three days a week from 9pm until 5am but will have no pension entitlement.

"Duties involve explicit sexual dialogue which may cause embarrassment to some people.
"The successful applicant (will be) required to be semi-nude.

"Duties will involve working on a well known adult TV channel which may cause embarrassment to some people.

"Must have good spoken communication skills as will be taking calls from the general public live on air."

The ad for the London-based job also states that applicants have to be aged over 18 and adds:

"There is no obligation to consider making an application for this vacancy."

Revolver Models, which placed the ad, said that applications had to go through the Jobcentre, but said the applicant did not have to send photos of themselves to the company.

He said: "We are looking for a male or a female to take this role."

The firm's website also states that 'TV work is now available', adding: "Do you love to perform in front of a TV camera? Are you looking for a well paid job? Are you comfortable with nudity?

"If the answer is yes to all of the above then contact us for more details (no sex involved)."

A spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions said: "The Jobcentre Plus has a duty to advertise any legal job."

Wonder how many applicants they get?





Compulsory noise:
Japan has a problem; the new hybrid cars that are vomiting forth from the factories could be dangerous, because they are too quiet.

The silent hum of hybrid petrol-electric vehicles, which recently became number one best-selling cars in Japan, has been deemed dangerous to pedestrians, in particular the visually impaired.

When switched from fuel to battery mode, the vehicles make a barely perceptible noise, prompting campaigners to urge the installation of noise devices to prevent accidents.

A new government panel of scholars, consumers, police, vision-impaired groups and automobile industry leaders has been formed in Japan to discuss whether the eco-friendly cars should be installed with compulsory noise-making devices.

"We have received opinions from automobile users and vision-impaired people that they feel hybrid vehicles are dangerous," said a transport ministry official.

"Blind people depend on sounds when they walk, but there are no engine sounds from hybrid vehicles when running at low speed" and on the electric motor, he added.

A report will be drawn up by the panel by the end of the year and their proposals discussed at the Transport Ministry's committee on automobile safety before it is drafted into legislation.

Toyota's latest recession-defying Prius last month became the best-selling car in Japan's domestic market, selling 22,292 vehicles, more than 6,000 more than the same month last year, according to the Japan Automobile Dealers Association.

Maybe they could be like ice cream vans, and you could pick your own tune.

And finally:

AH...

A snow white Bengal tiger has become the first of its kind to exist in the wild today after being born without stripes.

The tiger, which has been named Fareeda, was born to two white Bengal tigers. However, while Fareeda's brother Shahir and sister Sitarah all bear the typical black tiger stripes, Fareeda is a one in a hundred chance of being born without.

Odette Claassen, 52, from Cango Wildlife Ranch, said the keepers had to wait six months before they could be sure Fareeda definitely did not have stripes.

She said: "Some cubs develop stripes in their first few months but after six months it's clear that Fareeda is truly one of the rarest of her kind.

"She has a lovely nature and loves playing with her brothers and sisters, although she has nipped me a few times when she wants a feed.”

Bless!

Angus

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

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