The Sunday Section part deux

Too windy wind farm: Crap art: To boldly go...and crash: Tokyo blues; and Google gems




Back from the service. It managed to rain but was worth it.

BF 7 during the dark thing, loonies letting off fireworks till after midnight, hope they enjoyed it.








It seems that Gord is in the “Brown” runny stuff over his proposal for a tax on financial transactions to raise hundreds of billions of pounds.

Within hours of his speech, both the US and Canada rejected the plan. Timothy Geithner, the US Treasury Secretary, said: "That's not something that we're prepared to support."

Why am I not surprised.

And;

David Haye was crowned WBA world heavyweight champion in Nuremberg after delivering his promise to slay the most gargantuan champion the sport has seen.

Nice one Dave.




First up:

Got the wind up

Over in Maine: A wind-power company says a western Maine site it's been looking at is too windy for turbines. First Wind's Matthew Kearns told a public meeting in Rumford on Thursday that its proposed Longfellow wind farm on Black Mountain and North and South Twin mountains may not be viable.

The Sun Journal of Lewiston quotes Kearns as saying First Wind's studies so far show that gusts atop Black Mountain are too strong for turbine engineering to handle, and that's a problem for wind turbine bearings.

A separate wind power project is under construction on Record Hill in Roxbury, also near Rumford.


Weird thing is that the company comes from Massachusetts, where the light went out (Bee Gees)

Organic art

From the land of lord of the Rings: A sculpture of a New Zealand government minister crafted from cow manure sold for New Zealand dollars 3,080 ($2,220) on an auction Web site. The bust of New Zealand Environment Minister Nick Smith, sculpted as a protest by artist Sam Mahon, attracted 112 bids before being picked up by an anonymous buyer on Friday.

Mahon said he created the sculpture, and chose the medium, to protest what he considers Smith's too-soft stance on pollution created by dairy farms. He said the bust did not smell and would last forever.

"The sculpture has a hollow head, which is very fitting. It is highly polished and sits on the stand slightly to the right of centre," Mahon said.

Mahon gathered cow dung from an organic dairy farm, ground it in a coffee grinder, mixed it with a polymer resin and pressed it into a mold. He polished the sculpture with beeswax to create a finish that resembles bronze.

Mahon's said he will use the proceeds from the auction to help clean up waterways polluted by effluent from dairy farms near his home.

Smokin....or maybe steamin.

Wanted-space cleaner

Space crashes are becoming increasingly likely as more and more debris is left floating in our orbit, scientists have warned.

Defunct satellites, fragments of spacecraft and even dust and paint are all adding to the risk of collisions.

These "close encounters" could rise 50% in the next 10 years and potentially to more than 50,000 a week by 2059, Southampton University researchers predicts.

But Dr Hugh Lewis, who headed the study, said the crashes themselves are less of a problem than the number and cost of steps to avoid them.

He is unable to predict exactly how costly avoiding crashes might be but said it would be high on the list of priorities for future space budgets.

During the first part of the space race the amount of debris was reasonably manageable but in recent years two major events have changed everything, Dr Lewis said.

China spewed a shower of debris when it destroyed one of its own defunct satellites with a missile in 2007.

And in February two large satellites - a telecoms satellite owned by Iridium and a defunct Russian military satellite - collided above the Russian Arctic and were destroyed.

"Those two events generated an enormous number of fragments, contributing about 40% to the total number of objects in orbit now," Dr Lewis explained.

In March a tiny piece of space junk about one centimetre long briefly forced astronauts to evacuate the International Space Station when it came too close.

"It's all about speed," Dr Lewis said. "For things to be in orbit, typically they are moving at speeds of around 7.5 km per second - that's relative speed of 15 km per second for things heading towards each other.

"So you only need something the size of a marble to completely destroy a spacecraft."

Given the number of collisions predicted and the amount of particles this could break up, Dr Lewis warns we must begin anticipating crashes and planning for a future of safe space exploration.


Should make a nice firework display, without the fireworks of course.

Blue is the colour

Tokyo train operators alarmed at a rise in station suicides have bathed the city's platforms in blue light in a bid to calm passengers.

The lights hang above the end of the platform, where most suicides occur

East Japan Railway Co. has spent £100,000 fitting out all 29 stations on the capital's central train loop, the Yamanote Line, with the strong bulbs.

The operators believe they will emit a soothing glow, despite the absence of any scientific proof that the method reduces suicides.

Mizuki Takahashi, a therapist involved with the project, said: "We associate the colour with the sky and the sea.

"It has a calming effect on agitated people, or people obsessed with one particular thing, which in this case is committing suicide."

A total of 68 people threw themselves in front of trains in the 12 months until March, up from 42 in the same period the year before.

Suicide rates across the country have risen amid economic strife.

The lights will be hung at the end of each platform, a spot where people are most likely to jump to their deaths.

Shinji Hira, a psychology professor, said while the blue lights could make people pause and reflect, the railways were better off following Tokyo's underground network in installing fences on its platforms.

East Japan Railway said the funds for such a project on the Yamanote Line - used by up to eight million passengers each day - would not be available until at least 2017.

Blue just makes me feel cold.




And finally:

Well I never

A collection of Google images to make you gasp, or not.

You will need to click the link to see the pics.





Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

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The Sunday Section

A thoughtful day:

Today I will go down to the Municipal Gardens on the edge of the town where the civilian and military parts of Aldershot merge.

I will stand at the back of the usually large crowd of serving soldiers veterans and others who gather round the war memorial and I will think.

I will think of my dear old dad who survived the Second World War physically, but was left with nightmares and flashbacks, and I will think of the uncles that I never knew, one was lost in the D Day landings, another at sea bringing much needed supplies from America.

I will think of the brave men and women who are now risking their lives in other parts of the world, and of their families who live in fear, and of the millions of lost soldiers from the First World War.

I will think of the futility of war and the countless lives wasted by the need of some men to conquer and suppress others.

And in the back of my mind there is always one thought, the thought that how lucky I am because of those brave men and women who gave their precious lives so that we can live in freedom, without oppression.

And on my way home as I look at the kids playing in the streets and the husbands washing their cars, and the Sunday football league on the playing field I will silently thank those that have given their all for us.

And I suppose that many younger folk will think that I am an old fart and that all this remembrance stuff does not apply to them because it is not relevant to their lives, and I think that is the way it should be, because that is why all those lives were lost, so that war is not part of growing up.

And I will think that life could be worse, and that I must not take what I have for granted, but tomorrow is another day and my thoughts will fade until next November.

Angus

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Saturday Snippets

West Ham bonk; If at first; Numpty coppers; Rooting it out; and Runny flasher










BF6 last eve, no fireworks at all but tonight is the “official” display down the Manor Park which is guaranteed to make it pour with rain, but from my castle on the top of the hill I will be able to watch in comfort.

I see that Julie kirkbride wants to rescind her resignation over the expenses row and stand in the next election, makes you proud of MPs doesn’t it.

And:

According to the guy that helped invent the mobile phone they are too complicated, took them long enough to find that out.




First up:

At least something came on time

Commuters at West Ham station were shocked on Thursday night when, instead of the usual messages about delays, the sounds of a couple having sexual intercourse was broadcast over the tannoy.

Passengers at West Ham station in east London heard a couple's lovemaking antics being relayed over platform loudspeakers during the evening rush hour on Thursday.
"The noises heard by passengers were not from within our station. We believe they were a result of some sort of interference with our public address system," a spokesman for Transport for London said on Friday. "It certainly wasn't coming from our staff."

He said the station's public address system worked on radio waves and somebody must have been broadcasting on the same wavelength. He said staff had turned off the loudspeakers as soon as they realised what was going on.

But passengers had different interpretations.

"It was definitely a couple doing it there and then," Laura O'Connor told the London Evening Standard newspaper. "He was grunting loudly and she sounded like she was having a great time. The driver must have heard it, too, as the doors stayed open longer than usual."

Nice to see that someone got their ticket punched.

Half way there

A South Korean woman is celebrating after passing the written exam for a driving licence - on her 950th attempt.

After four years of trying, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon finally managed to secure the 60 out of 100 points needed to pass the test.

The grandmother has spent more than 5m won ($4,200, £2,600) on application fees for the test.

Now Mrs Cha, who lives in Jeonju, 130 miles (210km) south of Seoul, must pass the practical test to get on the road.

'Don't give up'
According to the Korean Driver's Licence Agency, the 50-minute written test consists of 50 multiple-choice questions on road regulations and car maintenance.

Mrs Cha had been trying to pass it since 13 April 2005, the Korea Times reported.

She wanted a licence so that she could use a vehicle to sell vegetables and other goods, the newspaper said.

And her determination to pass the test has made her well-known at the Jeonju centre.

"She is really famous here. Not only agency employees but even some test-takers know her. Her challenging spirit is really amazing," one official was quoted as saying.

Speaking in February - after her 775th failure - Mrs Cha had appeared undaunted.

"I believe you can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it," she told Reuters news agency.

"So don't give up your dream, like me. Be strong and do your best."


So all she has to do now is pass the driving part of the test, about 2013 I reckon.

North Wales Numptys

Police in North Wales are having to find £18,000 to refund motorists after issuing speeding tickets for people driving more than 30mph - in a 40mph zone.

Police in North Wales are having to find £18,000 to refund motorists after issuing speeding tickets for people driving more than 30mph - in a 40mph zone.

Officers had been targeting cars travelling through the village of Bala in Snowdonia in the 'Arrive Alive' campaign, reports the Daily Post.

They caught hundreds of drivers on the short stretch of road since the 'Arrive Alive' campaign was launched at the beginning of March.

North Wales Police Superintendent Simon Shaw admitted that police had wrongly believed the county council had changed the speed limit to 30mph in 1993.

"Following an enquiry by a member of the public, Gwynedd carried out a review of the relevant road traffic order and discovered the original road traffic order had not been revoked," he said.

"Consequently, despite a system of street lighting properly reflecting a 30mph speed limit the section of the road was still in fact the subject of a 40mph speed restriction."

Local politicians have criticised police for failing to notice the mistake sooner and warned "legal bungling" could lead to speeding problems.


Here is a test for the police, what is written on the road sign 30 or 40?

Knotweed kerfuffle

Baffled scientists are trying to get to the root of this astonishing plant dug out of the ground by a Chinese farmer.

The two foot tall root weighs in at a massive 12 lbs and bears an amazing resemblance to a boy in even the smallest detail.

The root comes from the Chinese knotweed plant, used by local healers as a natural laxative.

Farmer Zheng Dexun, 63, of Datianba, in southern China, said: "I was shocked that it was so large and is so clearly like a boy.

"It's bigger than my grandson. Scientists are looking at it now and will tell me how it came to be like this."

If his grandson looks like that he must live near a nuclear power station.




And finally:

No skid marks-no defence

A Florida flasher who allegedly exposed himself to two women explained to cops that his state of undress was due to an "explosive diarrhoea" incident.

Collier County deputies responded to a call on Monday that painter Todd Napodano, 42, stood up inside his white Chevrolet box-truck van in a Naples parking lot and "shook his hips" at the pair. Cops found him an hour later still naked and in "plain view" inside the vehicle.

In his defence, Napodano explained to officers his guts had exploded and he was "using his underwear to clean himself", as naplesnews.com puts it.

However, the sheriff's report notes that "upon examining Napodano’s underwear, deputies found no evidence of uncontrolled bowels". He was cuffed and subsequently charged with indecent exposure.

You can see Napodano's arrest card right here.


Good try though.




Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

Read more...

Education-Education; Police nags; Mont less; Picture this; And Pachyderm peril. Plus Serious and sensitive.

Before the off something serious and sensitive: and yes I can do serious and sensitive.

I was contacted by a nice young lady yesterday, here is her email:

Hello,

I'm working on a programme for Channel 4 on palliative / end-of-life care. We started looking into it around the time The Patient's Association came out with a report detailing bad quality of care and a lot of it seemed to happen with people at the end-of-life stage. We started looking into it more and found that while there are some of the best palliative care specialists in the world working in this country, that expertise does not necessarily filter down to more general staff and care. Lack of training coupled with a lack of resources seems to mean that a fair number of people are suffering at the end of their lives.

We want to make a film where we follow a number of people in end-of-life care.

Here is a brief explanation of what we're working on:

Hardcash Productions is in the initial stages of research into making a programme on palliative care for the terminally ill in the UK for Channel Four. Hardcash is a leading independent television company specialising in documentaries and current affairs documentaries. Our website www.hardcashproductions.com, gives details of our recent work.

We are looking at issues of care, pain management, specialist training, and communication between medical staff and both the terminally ill themselves and their families. Our plan at this stage is to look at these issues through a small number of personal case histories – ones that are on-going. We would like to speak to patients, carers and family members who are in palliative / end-of-life care at the moment, whose stories would potentially illustrate the issues we mentioned above.

Finally, I should tell you that we have a consultant on this programme who is an expert in palliative care, we understand how sensitive this issue is and we will absolutely handle it with the utmost care.

So please ask around to see if anyone you know currently in palliative / end-of-life care would be interested in telling their story to us. It would initially just be for a confidential chat. We could take it further later on if they feel comfortable enough to do so
.

I'm keen to speak with someone familiar with this issue at Angus Dei. A doctor named Rita Pal directed me to your site.

Could we have a chat?

My contact details are below.

Kind regards,
Caroline

Caroline Marsden
Hardcash Productions for Channel 4
020 7253 2782 (office)
07931 303 318 (mobile)
caroline@hardcashproductions.com


We did have a chat but my experience of the “palliative care” that ‘M’ received is not relevant because it was over four years ago and things “have changed” since then (I wish), however if anyone out there is interested in participating contact Caroline through the above info, or you can leave your contact details with me and I will pass them on.

This is not something I would normally do but I feel that this type of programme is necessary to either show that end of life care is “palliative” or is substandard; after all it is something we will all need.

Anyway, back to ‘normal’.

BF3 on firework night, I don’t have to worry about the cat because she is stone deaf and likes to sit on the battlements to watch the pyrotechnics uttering the feline equivalent of “Oooh and Aaaah” unlike DD who has to fortify her mud hut to protect her house guests.

There is a plethora of my type of ‘news’ today so I have picked my favourites.





First up:

What is the use of History?

Adolf Hitler was a German football coach, say one in 20 children.

And one in six youngsters said they thought Auschwitz was a Second World War theme park while one in 20 said the Holocaust was a celebration at the end of the war.

The survey for a veterans' charity also found one in 10 thought the SS stood for Enid Blyton's Secret Seven, and one in 12 believed the Blitz was a European clean-up operation following the Second World War.

Scottish-based charity Erskine, which provides nursing and medical care for veterans, said it would now take part in a nationwide scheme to educate schoolchildren about the two world conflicts.

The charity questioned 2,000 children between the ages of nine and 15 about their knowledge of the key people and events of the two wars.

While a quarter admitted they did not think about the soldiers who died in the conflicts, and 40 per cent said they did not know when Remembrance Day was, 70 per cent of all those surveyed said they wanted to learn more about the two wars in school.

So what are kids being taught in history classes?

BYO GEE GEE

Hertfordshire police is keen to boost special constables in the countryside, and said that those who already own horses should be able to use them as transport.

It is the first in the country to promote such a scheme but believes it could catch on if successful.

Insp George Holland, who came up with the plan, said it would help cut down on carbon emissions and encourage farmers and gamekeepers to sign up as special constables.
Speaking to Police Review magazine, he said: "The thinking behind allowing the use of their own horses is that it is not only environmentally friendly but there are also lots of people who otherwise would have not been interested in joining who might now be."

He said that it was “ridiculous” that many of the current officers are not from a countryside background, despite Hertfordshire being 80 per cent rural and said the new officers would “provide a better service to rural areas”

He said: "There are very few people in the force from a rural background - and that is ridiculous.

"We anticipate that it will provide a genuinely better service to rural people and boost their confidence that the police really do care and are dealing with issues that matter to them."

Insp Holland said that the new initiative hope to attract “community members such as gamekeepers, horse riders and farmers” as they are familiar with the countryside and could be key in helping solve crimes in the area.

The force already has already recruited 14 dedicated “country cops” who are due to start their new jobs next week, but plan to sign up another 16 officers by the New Year.

One officer, who did not want to be named, said the new squad had been dubbed the 'Bumpkin Bobbies'.

He said: "It's fantastic that we're getting a new team of officers on horseback who can trot all over the countryside solving crimes.

Good idea?

Mont Blanc on the move

The snow-capped Alpine giant Mont Blanc has shrunk by 18 inches in two years, experts said on Thursday following an official survey.

The new height of the tallest peak in western Europe, which lies on the three-way border between France, Italy and Switzerland, is 15,782.3 feet, just over half that of Nepal's Everest.

The volume of snow and ice coating the summit has also dropped by about a tenth, topographer Bernard Dupont said, adding that this could not be linked directly to the effects of climate change.

Mr Dupont said climate change indicators could only truly be measured on a scale of 30 years or more and that ice temperatures and precipitation levels further down the mountain, at around 9,800 feet, would be a better guide.

The expedition, which included the mayor of Annecy, the French town that is a candidate for the Winter Olympics, also found that the highest point on the mountain had shifted 85 feet closer to Italy but remained in France.

Maps, reference guides and school books will be updated accordingly.

Even the mountains are trying to emigrate.

Virtual Health and Safety

Organisers of a Guy Fawkes Night party in Devon claim health and safety officials have forced them to watch a film of a bonfire rather than the real thing.

The event, dubbed 'non fire night', at Ilfracombe Rugby Club will see about 2,000 revellers hold sparklers and gather around a big screen showing footage of a bonfire.

Recorded images of a roaring real fire will be projected onto the 16ft by 12ft screen mounted on a scaffolding stand - at a cost of £300.

Organisers say they were put off having a real fire by the 'mountain' of paperwork and regulations set by council chiefs, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Officials at the authority said that to have a real fire they would require five qualified fire marshals and metal barricades to keep people at a safe distance.

The non-fire night will also involve giant heaters, lighting and a smoke machine to give the crowd the taste of a real bonfire night.

Sounds of crackling wood will also be broadcast on loudspeakers and £2,500 fireworks will be fired into the air.

"Certain regulations make it difficult for us to have a real bonfire. It is not really a financially viable option," said club captain Leo Cooper, 25.

"The bonfire is often the focal point so we decided to have a big screen that would do the same job."

But local resident Amy Collins, 26, complained: "The whole point of Guy Fawkes Night is to watch and smell a real bonfire. I doubt Guy Fawkes would have been able to blow up Parliament with virtual gunpowder."

Personally I would rather see virtual fireworks; at least you could turn the sound down.


And finally:

Elephant on the road

Only from over the what not in Oklahoma:

A couple driving home from church nearly slammed into a giant pachyderm that had escaped from a nearby circus late Wednesday. "Didn't have time to hit the brakes. The elephant blended in with the road," driver Bill Carpenter said Thursday. "At the very last second I said 'elephant!"'

Carpenter, 68, said he swerved his SUV at the last second and ended up sideswiping the 29-year-old female elephant on U.S. 81 in Enid, about 80 miles (129 kilometres)north of Oklahoma City.

"So help me Hanna, had I hit that elephant, not swerved, it would have knocked it off its legs, and it would have landed right on top of us," he said. "We'd have been history."

The couple, who own a wheat farm, weren't injured. But the 8-foot, 4,500-pound (2.4-meter, 2,040-kilogram) elephant was being examined Thursday for a broken tusk and a leg wound. A local veterinarian said it appeared to have escaped major injury.

"I thought this can't be happening. Out here you could hit a deer or a cow, but this can't be happening. The good Lord was with us," Carpenter said. The elephant's tusk punched through the side of the SUV, tearing up sheet metal.

After sideswiping the elephant, his wife, Deena, flagged some people down and used their cell phone to call police.

"The dispatcher didn't believe her: 'You hit a what?"' he said. "I told my wife, I don't know whether to cry or laugh."

Enid veterinarian Dr. Dwight Olson said the elephant was hiding in some bushes just off the highway when he arrived shortly after the accident. Handlers from the circus were able to calm it down, and Olson cleaned the leg wound and gave it some pain killer.

The elephant was taken Thursday to the veterinary school at Oklahoma State University for a follow-up exam.

"I don't believe there's a broken bone, but I don't have an X-ray room big enough to examine it," Olson said.

The elephant had escaped from the Family Fun Circus at the Garfield County Fairgrounds earlier Wednesday after something spooked it while it was being loaded into a truck with another elephant, Olson said.

David Sacks, a spokesman for the U.S. Department of Agriculture, said late Thursday the elephant is owned by the same license holder of two elephants that escaped after getting spooked by a tornado in WaKeeney, Kansas, last year. The license holder is Doug Terranova, Sacks said.

A booking agent for the circus, Rachael Bellman, said she was unaware of the incident, and a telephone message left with circus officials wasn't immediately returned.


The quote “The elephant blended in with the road," has got to be the best this year.


Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

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Sausage snaffler; All Alorne; Persistent burglar; Dead ringer; and Fat footballers free burgers

BF4, weather still bloody cold, cat screaming at the moon, my head aches and its bonfire night.

According to the BEEB hospital workers do not communicate with patients, no surprise there then and Ofcom have decided to change the rules regarding “silent calls” to ‘help’ businesses, lovely. And Bodycare has banned workers from wearing poppies; arseholes.



First up:

Are those sausages in your trousers, or are you just pleased to see me

As its Bonfire night I thought bangers should be mentioned.

From the land of sun and Barbies.

A man has been arrested after being spotted stuffing sausages in his shorts in a supermarket aisle.

The 38-year-old man was found in a local supermarket in Cairns, Australia. He had successfully stuffed his shorts with sausages and his pockets with other items and was trying to walk out the door unnoticed.

Unfortunately the supermarket workers noted that something was up and called the police on him.

He was arrested after his trousers were searched and the sausages were confiscated. Managers at the supermarket were keen to communicate to the public that the items had not been returned for sale.

The man appears to have been fairly unlucky as staff at the store are notoriously non-security conscious. In July shoplifters casually pushed trolley-loads of supplies out the door for two days in a row and weren't stopped.

Nobody ever offers to search my trousers in Tesco.

Square sausage needs saving

From North of Hadrian’s Wall:

The country's meat industry wants the square sausage to be added to the list of foods with a Protected Geographical Indicator (PGI).

The move would mean it could only be branded 'Made in Scotland' if manufactured to a set recipe.

Parma ham, Arbroath Smokies and Melton Mowbray pies are all products which are currently protected under the PGI.

Douglas Scott, chief executive of Scotland's Craft Butchers, said: "The Lorne Sausage is as Scottish a product as you get and it would seem a threat in this global era if we weren't to apply for a PGI.

"Lorne is an important part of every Scottish butcher’s sausage trade with customers sometimes travelling many miles to source their favourite.

"We will work on the application and hope to get the backing of Quality Meat Scotland and the Scottish Government in taking the square slice to Brussels.”

The origins of the Lorne Sausage are unclear; however it's believed that it was named after Glasgow comedian Tommy Lorne.

The theatre performer, who died in 1935, was famous for his catchphrase "sausages are the boys".

Others claim it takes its name from the area of the Firth of Lorne on the west coast

Square sausage, now that you could hide in your trousers.

Buy a bleeding burglar alarm

AN 87-YEAR-OLD disabled grandfather today told how he has been burgled around a dozen times in the last three years by the same thief.

Renowned zoologist Murdoch Mitchison, who lives near Ormiston in East Lothian, said he has been targeted up to 12 times since 2006 and police believe the same burglar could be behind all the raids.

The widower said a total of £1,000, several bottles of whisky, a mobile phone, electric screwdrivers and two computers have been stolen over the years.

The most recent theft took place on Sunday, when Mr Mitchison's computer was stolen from his bungalow, where he lives alone. The pensioner's keyboard and monitor were left behind.

Mr Mitchison, a father-of-four, said: "My cleaning lady told me that the computer was missing at about nine o'clock on Sunday morning, and I thought 'not again'. I don't know how the thief gets in.

The grandfather-of-14, whose father Dick was a former Labour MP and peer and mother Naomi a renowned writer, said: "I have never caught the thief before.

"My doors are always locked now, and we have changed the locks on a couple of occasions."
A police spokesman said: "We are aware of several house- breakings that have occurred at Mr Mitchison's property over the last few years, and on each occasion a thorough and detailed investigation has been carried out.

"During this time our officers have also been in regular contact with Mr Mitchison and his family, and the appropriate security advice has been offered as to how the property can be protected.

"We are appealing for anyone who can assist our inquires to come forward

Check the attic.

Whose funeral is this

From the southern part of over the pond:

A Brazilian bricklayer reportedly killed in a car crash shocked his mourning family by showing up alive at his funeral.

Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, had identified him as the victim of a Sunday night car crash in Parana state in southern Brazil, police said.

As is customary in Brazil, the funeral was held the following day, which happened to be the holiday of Finados, when Brazilians visit cemeteries to honour the dead.

What family members didn’t know was that Goncalves had spent the night at a truck stop talking with friends over drinks of a sugarcane liquor known as cachaca, his niece Rosa Sampaio told the O Globo newspaper. He did not get word about his own funeral until it was already happening Monday morning.

A police spokesman in the town of Santo Antonio da Platina said Goncalves rushed to the funeral to let family members know he was not dead.

“The corpse was badly disfigured, but dressed in similar clothing,” said the police spokesman, who talked on condition of anonymity as he wasn’t authorized to discuss the case. “People are afraid to look for very long when they identify bodies, and I think that is what happened in this case.”

Sampaio told O Globo that some family members were not sure the body was Goncalves.

“My two uncles and I had doubts about the identification,” she told O Globo. “But an aunt and four of his friends identified the body, so what were we to do? We went ahead with the funeral.”


The police spokesman confirmed there were doubts: “His mom looked at the body in the casket and thought something was strange. She looked and looked and couldn’t believe it was her son,” Sampaio said. “Before long, the walking dead appeared at the funeral. It was a relief.”
The body was correctly identified later Monday, the police spokesman said, and has already been buried in another state. He declined to release the actual victim’s name.

All’s well.............

And finally:

Footballers set to gain weight

From East a lot:

Thailand's top soccer players will feast on free burgers as part of a three-year sponsorship deal with American fast food giant McDonald's worth almost $900,000, the country's soccer president said Wednesday.

McDonald's will provide 25 million baht (452,000 pound) for the Football Association of Thailand (FAT) and will offer five million baht in products in exchange for shirt sponsorship for the next three years, starting this month.

"This will be a great help towards our efforts to reach the 2014 World Cup finals," FAT president Worawi Makudi told Reuters.


"This funding will help develop our game, especially youth football, and all the players, junior and senior, will get to enjoy the food too," he added.

Thailand's national team, which is currently 110th in the FIFA rankings, signed a five-year kit sponsorship deal with U.S. sports giant Nike in 2007 for an undisclosed figure.

The team has never qualified for the World Cup finals and is now being coached by former England and Manchester United captain Bryan Robson.

Who has always been known for his svelte figure.



Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

Read more...

iPanic; Sign of the crimes; Noonamah jumpers; Gym slip; and Technophobe Santa’s

BF 9 last thingy, weather cold, news is even worse.

Dave C is about to try to worm his way out of his promise of a referendum on the Lisbon treaty, but the goodish news is that we can leave Europe if we want-let’s do that then.

And: It seems that it will cost £4,350 per “family” in taxes to procure the latest bank bailout, thanks Ali and Gord.



First up:

Let the iPhone take the strain

People scared of flying can now press a button on their iPhone to help them deal with their panic.

Long-haul airline Virgin Atlantic Airways has launched an application, or app, for its Flying Without Fear course which boasts a success rate of over 98 percent. Apps are a source of information, games and other novelty ideas for users of Apple's iPhone and iPod Touch devices.

The airline said in a statement that this app was designed to help people overcome fear, be it of the unfamiliar aircraft, the strange noises a plane makes, or of losing control.

"The app will put many travellers at ease and enable them to prepare for their first Virgin Atlantic flight."
The airline developed the app with Mental Workout, a company developing software to help people resolve issues and increase mental performance. A spokesman from Mental Workout said an estimated one in every three adults were scared of flying.

The Flying Without Fear app has an introduction by Branson, a video-based in-flight explanation of a flight, frequently asked questions, relaxation exercises and a fear attack button for emergencies with breathing exercises.

And what about those that don’t have an iPhone?

If you can’t hold the sign don’t do the crime

From over the pond:- BEDFORD, Pa. — In exchange for jail time, a woman and her adult daughter have agreed to stand outside a courthouse holding signs saying they stole a gift card from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday.

Fifty-six-year-old Evelyn Border and 35-year-old Tina Griekspoor stood outside the court for 4 1/2 hours Tuesday. They held signs that read: “I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!”

Because the women agreed to hold the signs, Bedford County District Attorney Bill Higgins says he’ll ask for probation instead of jail when they plead guilty to the theft.

Higgins says they swiped a gift card that the girl set on a shelf while a Wal-Mart employee helped her.

The girl’s mother planned to drive by the courthouse to teach her daughter the importance of obeying the law

Sign of the times?

Over the jumps

From underneath: While most people were watching the race that stops the nation, locals at a Northern Territory hotel gathered for a very different kind of race.

The annual frog race at the Noonamah Tavern, 45 kilometres south of Darwin, attracted a crowd of about 300 people.

Twenty-four green tree frogs were pitted against each other as trainers used spray bottles filled with water to prod them into action.

The frogs have a much shorter distance to hop than their thoroughbred counterparts in the Melbourne Cup, but some took a while to get moving.

The frogs were auctioned off before the race, with one fetching more than $2,000.

The winning frog, which was called XXXX Summer, will earn almost $12,000 dollars for its owner, while $9000 has gone to charity.

Time to hop it.

Knicker wearer nicked

A man who wore women's clothing to use his dead wife's gym membership has appeared in a Hong Kong court.

Lau Siu-wah, 51, was charged after he allegedly used his wife's identification card to exercise in the female-only section of the gym at the city's Sheraton hotel, The Standard daily reported on Tuesday (local time).

But the man's looks aroused suspicion and police were called, the report said, adding that Lau was quickly arrested.

The paper said Lau admitted to police that he used the card to impersonate his wife, who died in 2007.

Lau, who appeared in court Monday in women's clothes and wearing red nail polish, was granted bail on a charge that he used an identity card relating to another person, the paper said.

The case was adjourned until later this month.

What worries me is that no one who works at the gym noticed until he got to the women’s’ section.




And finally:

Santa school for old farts

Baffled Santa’s are being sent on a crash course in hi-tech toys to help them keep up with today's gadget-obsessed kids.

The training scheme was launched after ageing Santa’s complained they couldn't understand what children were asking for in their Christmas lists.

An online helpline has also been set up so Santa’s can call experts and ask for technical advice on computer games, consoles, cameras, and MP3 players.

Jeremy Fennell from PC World told The Sun: "There are more than 40,000 different gadgets and technologies on sale right now, a great many of which are going to be on children's Christmas lists.

"The Santa’s we are training are going to be faced with a very technically literate and technology savvy generation of youngsters over the next two months and we want them to be able to show that they understand what these kids are asking for.

"Nothing could be more depressing than being asked by Santa what you want for Christmas and finding he doesn't have a clue what you're talking about."

Santa’s from across the UK will be attending the training before heading to grottos across Britain.

A recent study found that only one in five Father Christmases had heard of the Nintendo DSi white while less than one in 10 knew about the must-have Sony reader.

One Santa, from Leicester, said: "There are so many new gadgets around now that I don't have the time to keep up with all the latest ones.

"It was much easier when all kids wanted was Connect 4 or a Scalextric but now they're asking for things like a Flip Mini Chrome Camcorder which, before my training, meant nothing to me."

And still means nothing to me.


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Windy Stern; Saucy recipe; Tinky Winky; Over the limit; and Drunken Numpty

BF 7 last night, weather bloody awful, news not much better.

Remembrance Sunday is approaching, so here is the quick version of the etiquette of wearing a poppy.

Should you wear one-Yes

Colour- Red, white or purple? Red or White, purple for the animals

When to wear one- usually from 1st of November

Where to pin your poppy – left or right it doesn’t matter

What size should it be? Any size you like, just wear one.


And;

Cameron does a Gord by telling us that a Conservative government will not hold a referendum on the European Union’s Lisbon Treaty.

Mr Cameron gave voters an “iron-clad” promise in 2007 that a Conservative government would hold a popular vote on Lisbon.

Politicians; you can’t trust any of them.

And; a bit of health news; Just to cheer us up the Winter vomiting bug is about, to add to Seasonal Flu and Swine flu, oh JOY!

First up:

Go Green eat veggies

The man behind one of the most influential reports on climate change, Lord Stern, has highlighted the impact meat production has on greenhouse gas emissions. Part of it comes through methane made by the animals as they digest food. So which farm animals expel the most methane?

A diet that relies heavily on meat production results in higher emissions than a typical vegetarian diet, says Lord Stern.

The author of the 2006 Stern Review into the cost of climate change attacked the "enormous pressure" meat production puts on the world's resources and said people were becoming increasingly aware about "low carbon consumption".

In a 2006 report, the UN Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) concluded that worldwide livestock farming generates 18% of the planet's greenhouse gas emissions. By comparison, it said all the world's cars, trains, planes and boats accounted for a combined 13% of greenhouse gas emissions.

So go vegan, and say goodbye to milk, steak, leather and handbags.

If you want to contact Lord Stern and discuss his theory you can do so here-n.stern@lse.ac.uk, 020 7955 7871

Worcestershire wonder

Historians believe they have found the original recipe for Lea and Perrins' Worcestershire sauce, which could be 150 years old.

The original recipe was a closely guarded secret, but a former accountant at the company claimed that he found the notes dating from the mid 1800s in a skip by the firm's site.

Brian Keogh, who died in 2006, said that he discovered the original recipe in two leather-bound folios written in sepia ink. The recipe was written in two different styles of handwriting, which analysts believe was due to the fact that no one knew the entire recipe. His daughter Bonnie Clifford is now working with the museum to test the papers.

The classic condiment is thought to contain ingredients including cloves, vinegar, pickles and tamoraide.

Worcester City Museums collections officer David Nash said: "There has always been a lot of secrecy surrounding the recipes and pride that it is made locally.

"Not even the staff knew the whole recipe, only parts of it, which would account for the different handwriting, and some of the ingredients were written in code.

"Even with all the ingredients there is no guarantee you would be able to make the sauce as what makes it distinctive is the way it is made, which is still a secret."

"It would be significant to the people of Worcester and maybe even attract national interest if they are proved to be genuine."

But don’t put too much of it on your cheese on toast.

Purple Pillock

A man dressed as a purple Teletubby robbed a woman at gunpoint near the city's centre.

London police say a gun-toting man wearing a costume of the pudgy purple television character, named Tinky Winky, confronted the woman near Talbot and Mill streets just after midnight and demanded cash.

The woman, in her 20s, handed money to the robber, who then ran south on Talbot.

The woman was unhurt, but misfortune wasn't hers alone. A second man dressed in costume was later stopped in the area by police and questioned -- but police had the wrong Teletubby.

"He was deemed not to be the Teletubby we were looking for," Const. Kevin Lui said.

"Unfortunately, Halloween provides (robbers) more cover than any other night."

The woman said the man who robbed her was between 6-foot-2 and 6-foot-4, 200 to 240 pounds with muscular build, short, dark hair and was clean-shaven.

Teletubbies is a TV series aimed at pre-schoolers that also gained a cult following among some older viewers.

Tinky Winky gained some notoriety a decade ago after evangelical preacher Jerry Falwell claimed the character was a homosexual role model because his antenna was a triangle and he carried a magic bag that looked like a woman's purse.

Looks more like Po to me.

Speed camera con

An Italian motorcyclist is appealing after he lost his licence when speed cameras clocked him at an impossible 383 mph.

Paolo Turina, 26 - who also copped a £200 fine - claims the speed camera was clearly so defective the charge should never have been brought.

"If I could go that fast I'd enter my bike in the MotoGP world championships. Valentino Rossi would not stand a chance. What did they think they were clocking - a jet fighter?" asked Mr Turina, of Cernusco Lombardone.

"If the court rules the fine will stand then I'm going to send it to the Guinness Book of Records - after all if the court says its true then I should get the credit for this remarkable feat."

Police claim the camera was working perfectly but said they suspected bungling staff botched the charge paperwork.

The appeal court has not yet made a decision on the case.

And my old Honda has a top speed of 500 MPH

And finally:

Pissed n broke

NEILSVILLE, Wis. -- The call came into the 911 dispatcher: "I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm drunk." And with that, Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, reported herself as a drunken driver about three miles northeast of Neilsville in central Wisconsin.

Clark County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Jim Backus said Monday that Strey's call on Oct. 24 led deputies to cite her for misdemeanour drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level double the legal limit to drive. She makes her first court appearance Dec. 10.

Backus said drunken drivers reporting themselves is rare.

In the 911 call, Strey said she wanted to report a drunken driver and the dispatcher asked if she was behind the suspect vehicle. "I am them," Strey said. She then followed the dispatcher's advice to pull over and turn on her flashers, telling him she had been "drinking all night long."

As she had her phone with her; why the firk didn’t she just phone a cab? Double Numpty.



Angus

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