The benefit of being a millionaire: Noisy is La Mer: Camel balls: and food on the edge.

Positive scrapey-scrapey stuff, negative lack of cold stuff, minus atmospheric movement and just a glimpse of Dawn’s crack this non April fool’s day at the Castle this morn, spent the bank holiday doing sod all, but I did go for a 75 mile drive on the traffic free highways in the sunshine to loosen up the Honda and charge its battery.

I have been thinking of changing the motor for something a bit less old-it’s not going well, so far all I can find are vehicles that have road tax approaching the deficit and insurance that would cost more than Cyprus’s debt. 

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, stale bread is now £1.45 per loafy thing, gruel is £0.97 per tinny thing and ten days ago Whiskas meat in gravy was £3.68 or 2 for £6.00, last Thursday it was £3.38 or 2 for £6.00and today it is £3.00 each box, roll on next week, they will be giving it away.

 

The biggest knob at the Dept of Witless Pillocks (DWP)

Otherwise known as the Irritable Bowel Twins reckons that they could live on 53 squids per week (if they had to); he said the Government’s changes to the benefits system were designed to make it “fair”. Payments would continue to rise, albeit by a below inflation at one per cent a year, when they were actually being cut in some other countries, he insisted.

But earlier on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme he was challenged by a man who earns less than £53 per week.

David Bennett, 51, set up a market trading business three years ago after being made redundant as a credit manager.

Despite working up to 70 hours a week, on some days he earned nothing at all.

But the £2,700 the divorced father of two made last year means he no longer qualifies for the full £75 a week housing benefit towards his privately rented flat. The subsidy has been cut to £57 a week and he also has to pay council tax of £5 a week for the first time.

Later, asked by the presenter if he could live on this amount, Mr Duncan Smith, who is married into a wealthy family, replied: “If I had to, I would.”

Soon afterwards, an online petition was launched challenging Mr Duncan Smith to prove himself and the Tories’ claims that “We’re all in this together”, by living on £53 a week or £7.57 a day for at least a year. Posted on the change.org international internet petition site, it quickly gathered more than 11,000 names.

 

But it has to be for at least a month, or two or three....

 Go on sign it-I have.

 

Cruising wimps

Apparently complaints by cruise ship passengers include one by a woman who moaned about the sea being "too loud", it has been revealed.

And a couple accused a captain of being "rude" for sailing off when they had left a note saying they needed more sightseeing time in port, according to cruise travel agency bonvoyage.co.uk.

One woman, having seen that Take-That star Gary Barlow had been on her ship on an earlier trip, demanded an explanation as to why the singer was not on her voyage.

Then there was the man who complained about not getting "an impressive tan" and being unable to swim in the pool each day while on a trip around ... Alaska.

A woman travelling with the company called Celebrity Cruises asked for a refund as there were "no celebrities on board", while a couple wanted compensation after forking out "a lot more money than planned" on staff tips due to the excellent service.

The woman who complained about the loudness of the sea said she had not been able to sleep well on her Mediterranean cruise.

She demanded cabins be "better sound-proofed against the sounds of the sea".

Another female traveller, having booked an inside cabin, then complained about not having a view of the sea and asked for a window to be installed.

 Tossers....

 

Somewhere in Saharan Blighty

A mum got the hump after her seven-year-old daughter was sold a pack of bubblegum called Camel Balls.

The gum is not only shaped like them, but there is also a graphic picture of a camel’s backside on the packet.

Ruby McKenzie’s mum Charlene, 26, said: “I was disgusted as I think that it’s totally inappropriate.

“I am more upset with the company that makes the gum than the shops that sell it.

“It’s OK for adults and a bit of a laugh, but I can’t see the funny side when they are kept in the sweet section of shops where children like Ruby will see them,” added Charlene, of Birmingham.

Paul Southam, managing director of Fini Sweets UK, which distributes Camel Balls, said as a parent he had faced a “moral issue” before agreeing to the deal, but had received only one complaint.

He said. “I do sympathise with the parent here. But it’s supposed to be funny and a bit of a joke.”

 

No sense of humour some people, they could have brought one out called ‘Orses Dick or even Cows C---......

 And finally:

 

East to the land of lots of stuff

There’s a particular mountain in the Hubei Province, 12 km north of the city of Yichang, where you can actually experience fine-dining on the side of a cliff.

Located in the Happy Valley of Xiling Gorge, the Fangweng hanging restaurant offers a breathtaking view of its natural surroundings to adventurers brave enough to set foot in it.

The brick building that acts as an entrance to the Fangweng Restaurant leads the 30-meter-long narrow concrete bridge hanging on the side of a vertical cliff overlooking the Yangtze River.

Luckily, there’s a metal railing you can grab on to while you crawl your way to the actual restaurant. The bridge leads to a dining hall carved into the cliff-side, where most of the tables are set.

Warmly lit by traditional lamps hanging from the ceiling and decorated with Chinese furnishings, the cave itself is a sight to behold, but the main attractions of Fangwen are the two concrete platforms extending away from the cliff, from where diners can see all the wonders of Happy Valley or watch bungee jumpers as they leap off a nearby bridge.

 

Fuck that….

 That’s it: I’m orf to interrogate the fish in the freezer

 

And today’s thought:

From the (old) Tory rich list:

 

No.3 George Osborne- worth £4.3 Million+

Chancellor

His dad Sir Peter co-founded luxury wallpaper and fabrics company Osborne & Little. George has a trust of 15 per cent and stands to inherit a substantial share.

In 2003, when the firm delisted from the London Stock Exchange, it was valued at £12.9m.

George and wife Frances have a home in London's Notting Hill worth around £1.8m and a constituency property (£500k). Her father is life peer Howell of Guildford, a former Minister in Margaret Thatcher's cabinet.

And earns £134,565 as Chancellor - just over £15,000 short of 50p tax threshold.

After 50 years of work pensioners get around £7,500 per year (plus a few extras).

Angus

 

Ban the old boiler: Mr Bean gets the rope: The Sauce of it: Otter gotta lotta fish: and the Pedal powered Gamera II.

Still cold, still damp, still not a lot of atmospheric movement and still bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this first day of “spring”.

Back on the antibiotics due to yet another abscess on one of my remaining toofs, but they still refuse to yank them all out and give me something that doesn’t hurt.

And joy of joys my old fart’s bus pass arrived by snail mail yestermorn complete with a picture of someone I don’t recognise and an expiry date of 2018-I should be so lucky...

 

According to the UK Energy Research Centre

Gas boilers for home heating will have to be virtually eliminated by 2050 if the UK is to meet its carbon reduction targets and the use of petrol and diesel engines to power cars will also need to be "much less dominant" and replaced with electric power and biofuels, a policy meeting in the House of Commons heard.

The conclusions are based on modelling the likely shape of the energy sector in 2050 when greenhouse emissions will need to have fallen by 80% on 1990's level.

Professor Paul Ekins, one of the report’s authors, told MPs and peers home heating would "have to change radically" to meet carbon targets. Efficiency will have to be significantly improved for new and existing buildings with heat provided by electrically driven heat pumps and bioenergy.

District heating is another alternative, already in use in Denmark, where household boilers are replaced by centralised neighbourhood heating systems.

The internal combustion engine will be "much less dominant" by 2050, Ekins said, and replaced with battery powered and fuel cell vehicles.

 

Or they could use fat, carbon free teenagers like the Castle’s heating system....

 

A few years ago

 

Son of a B.......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I could use that rope now to hang myself) Osborne showed his non prowess at coordinated physical activity-otherwise known as skipping, and failed miserably, just as he is doing with the economy. 

Some people never change...

 

West to the home of burgers and the land of Heinz

Westbound traffic on Interstate 80 is back to normal after Nevada Department of Transportation crews used snowploughs to remove thousands of bottles of ketchup that were strewn onto the freeway.

Sgt. Janay Sherven with the Nevada Highway Patrol said crews put sand on the ketchup and then cleaned up the debris.

Health officials also will declare the spilled ketchup a loss so it can be taken to the dump.

A tractor trailer carrying thousands of bottles of Heinz ketchup crashed on Interstate 80 near the Robb Drive overpass this afternoon, spilling its red contents onto the freeway and snarling traffic in the process.

 

That looks worse than the bloodbath in Eastleigh-click on the link over the pic to watch the video.

 

Dahn in Welsh Wales

 

A fish farmer whose entire stock of 22,000 carp was eaten by otters lost his £2million compensation fight yesterday.

Brian Dodson, 60, alleged the Environment Agency had built otter dens to get them to breed.

But a judge at Cardiff High Court said the spread of otters in Tregarth, North Wales, was a “natural process”.

Mr Dodson has £10,000 costs. “I will have to go bankrupt,” he said.

 

Scales of justice?

 

And finally:

 

From the land named after Mary

 

Students at the University of Maryland in the US are a step closer to claiming a sought-after prize for a human-powered helicopter flight.

The American Helicopter Society Sikorsky Prize was introduced in 1980 but has never been claimed.

The students' helicopter, the Gamera II, achieved a world record flight of 65.1 seconds in August 2012, but failed to qualify for the lucrative prize as their craft strayed outside the required area.

The students have now designed a control system to overcome this hurdle, and have their sights firmly set on the claiming the cash reward.

Gamera II weighs 32kg (71 pounds) and is powered by a combination of hand and food pedalling.

To claim the Sikorsky prize, a helicopter must fly under human power for at least 60 seconds. The craft must also reach an altitude of three metres and remain within a 10m square.

Named after Russian-American aviator Igor Sikorsky, the prize offers a $250,000 (£164,000) reward.

Qualifying flights must be certified by a representative of the world governing body for air sports and aeronautics world records, the FAI.

 

Spiffing, bet it would be much better with an engine.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to measure the spin of my black hole.

 

And today’s thought:

Tough luck tosser

 

 

Angus

Groceries and GPs: No change: Aisle of Man: iPad Pussy: Eastern Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho: and a-Hoy Numpty.

Saw dawn’s crack between the white fluffy things at the Castle this morn, I have decided to put the new shorts back in the draw as the lack of warm in the atmospheric movement was beginning to give me frostbite on my old dangly bits...

The garden is in need of a minor fettle, the Honda is covered in yellow dusty stuff again and his Maj has decided that he doesn’t want to parachute into the grounds.

And I won’t mention the lack of metal gongs from the thing going on in the Smoke and elsewhere.

No post tomorrow-personal reasons: my lovely young lady is coming to trim my head hair, and the Nork who ballsed up the furnace is returning to put his errors right.

Dahn West and up Norf

Sainsbury's has opened two more GP surgeries in its supermarkets this year and has urged more practices to come forward to run primary care services in its stores.

The two surgeries come after four opened in Sainsbury's stores across the country last year and are based in stores in Newton Abbot in Devon, which opened in January, and Sunderland, which opened in May.

One surgery, which will be operated by GPs at the Buckland Surgery, Newton Abbot, has a fully equipped consultation room and will offer GP consultations every Monday Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

 

Good idea?

Back in the Olympic Smoke

Allegedly son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I can’t get past “A”) Osborne will keep both his jobs, aides to the prime monster told the Daily Mail that it was "completely absurd" to suggest that Osborne would be removed from his role in the Treasury in the autumn.

They also confirmed that Osborne will maintain his strategist role for the Conservatives, saying "it is a strength, at a time of economic crisis, to have a chancellor who regularly attends meetings at Downing Street".

That’s us stuffed then.....

Left a lot to the big bit of fruit

Westside Market in New York launched the city’s first “man aisle,” a haven for alpha-males tasked with buying groceries.

The “aisle” — which is actually an end-cap to an aisle — has all the essentials including, but not limited to: deodorant, a cornucopia of Doritos, ramen, beef jerky, beer, condoms and bottled water.

Because guys apparently love crushing empty plastic containers in their meaty manfists after chowing down on pickles and Chips Ahoy cookies.

According to Ian Joskowitz, chief operating officer of Westside Market NYC- essentially, the area is “grocery shopping for dummies” for these men. Who, if they are buying for their families, are doing their wives and children a great health and culinary disservice.

Oh dear....

Still in the home of silicon valley and the land of Pussies

Developer Little Hiccup has created a series of iPad apps designed to keep pets across the globe entertained and stimulated.

Its first App Game For Cats features a fast-moving mouse pointer which is said to appeal to their hunting instincts as they try to catch it.

It has been so popular that its creator TJ Fuller has followed up the App with a sequel named Paint For Cats.

 Designed for the more artistic moggy, the App makes a colourful paw imprint when a cat touches the screen.

The App was recently tested at an animal shelter where it received a positive response, with bigger cats such as lions and tigers even taking to it.

Oh dear, oh dear....

East more than oodles of miles

From land that has never been troubled by radiation comes a new world record for the largest ukulele ensemble.

More than 2,000 strummers gathered in Yokohama, Japan's second-largest city, to trump the previous record set in Sweden.

The group were watched by Guinness World Records officials, AFP news agency said, and played a song called Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho, written by a Hawaii-born former sumo wrestler.

They set the record during Japan's "Ukulele Picnic Week".

The diminutive guitar-shaped instrument originated from Hawaii, where it is also synonymous with hula dancing.

The previous record was set in August last year by 1,547 uke-wielding Swedes in Helsingborg.

More than one string to their bow then....

And finally: 

Back in time and back in the USA

On July 9^th 1993 Garry Hoy a lawyer for the law firm of Holden Day Wilson in Toronto attempted to prove to a group of his partners at the firm that the glass in the Toronto-Dominion Centre was unbreakable, so he threw himself at a glass wall on the 24th storey and fell to his death after the window frame gave way.

He had apparently performed this stunt many times in the past, having previously bounced harmlessly off the glass.

Should have worn a parachute...

That’s it: I’m orf to cancel my order for Windows 8

And today’s thought:

What makes you think I have been taking steroids Olympics?

Angus

It wasn’t me guv: Caveat emptor John: Laying dahn the lawn: 99 Wars: Automatic bed maker: and a Pox on us.

Damp, dark, dismal, dingy and decidedly dodgy at the Castle this morn, I don’t know what is in this skywater but everything is growing at more than a rate of knots meaning that the garden is in need of a full fettle.

His Maj still has the hump because he can’t go out and is sulking by his cat flap, and there may not be a post for the next few days as I am going to my general medic to have BOTH elbows injected with white stuff.

Up in the Smoke at the Leveson “inquiry”

Son of a B.....aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) George (hear no, speak no, see no evil) Osborne has decided that he knew nothing about anything regarding whether Rupert Murdoch's empire should have been allowed to expand further.

But he did admit that he and David Cameron rushed to put the decision in the hands of Jeremy Hunt, the Culture Secretary, before taking legal advice.

And that he hired Andy Coulson.

Apparently George O reckoned that he was merely "an external observer" of News Corp's £8bn bid, which he described as a "political inconvenience", and explicitly denied speaking to either Jeremy Hunt or Vince Cable about it.

According to the soon to be Ex-Chancellor; he denied attending a private meeting in a chalet with the Murdoch’s in a Swiss ski resort months before the 2010 general election amid allegations that a deal had been done over the family's plans to take full control of BSkyB. He said the meeting had never taken place – but admitted there had been a meeting in a chalet the previous year. He denied that they talked about BSkyB.

 

Methinks he denies too much....

And according to the Current Bun

Nearly nine out of 10 used cars on sale are dodgy.

Almost a third are stolen or written off, or were bought with loans that have not been paid off.

Cars more than five years old are likely to harbour secrets from past prangs to being stolen.

Newer ones are likely to come with hidden debt.

The study found Renault Clio’s were most likely to have a skeleton under the bonnet – 93% had a dark history.

A quarter of those checked were insurance write-offs.

The Ford Focus and VW Golf were the models most likely to have outstanding debt secured on them.

One in 10 of both were being sold with money still owed, the study by monitoring service ­Experian AutoCheck showed – and buyers could have the car repossessed.

The two models also had a one in 10 chance of being ­write-offs or having their mileage clocked.

Essex was the write- off capital of Britain with 17% of motors on sale being reported as unroadworthy.

 

No surprises there then.....

Up Norf a bit from the Castle

The nave of York Minster has been covered in 1,500 square metres of real grass.

The 14th century nave is being prepared for the York Minster Rose Dinner on Friday evening.

More than 900 guests will attend the dinner, being held to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and to raise money for the York Minster Fund.

Guests will walk and dine on a 'living carpet' of grass inside the Minster.

The grass is grown in felt that has been recycled from textiles.

Seems that austerity in religion has been mowed dahn....

Across a bit to Blackburn

Mr Whippy and Mr Yummy are not friends, as the Mr Yummy vendor smashed Mr Whippy’s window with a tyre lever, and Mr Yummy rammed Mr Whippy’s van.

Witness Mobeen Yaseen – who caught the incident on video – says it is the latest flare-up in what has been a long-running rivalry between the two brands in the area.

The chap in the vehicle in front, Mr Yummy, is a vendor from another town whereas Mr Whippy in the back there is a resident ice-cream man. As Mr Whippy was serving a customer Mr Yummy pulled up alongside Whippy’s truck saying to the customer that he'd do the ice creams cheaper. “He then drove past Whippy’s van cutting off his route (following which the argument turned violent).”

Think I’ll stick to my big tub from Tesco’s

Dahn to the next ex-Euro country

Spanish bed specialist OHEA has designed a revolutionary new piece of bedroom furniture which could save valuable minutes in the morning rush to get ready.

The device has been designed to mechanically straighten out a person's sheets, duvet and pillow in less than 50 seconds.

Featuring two different settings, the smart bed could finally put an end to creased sheets and messy bed making.

Users can either manually begin the bed making process by hitting a button or choose the automatic setting which will see the device spring into action three seconds after someone wakes up.

 Super....

 And finally: 

All across Europe

A super-strength strain of gonorrhoea is spreading.

The bacterial infection, which accounts for almost one in ten cases of the sexually transmitted disease, cannot be treated by drugs.

In the past year, the number of ‘superbug’ cases has more than doubled, according to health officials.

And even though Chlamydia is the most frequently reported STI, gonorrhoea – which affected more than 32,000 people worldwide in 2010 – has reached ‘critical levels’.

Marc Sprenger, from the Stockholm-based European Centre for Disease Prevention, said the drug-resistant strain of gonorrhoea could now be found in 17 continental countries – seven more than last year.

He also warned that the rise in superbug strains meant there was a risk gonorrhoea could become untreatable in the near future.

‘Public health experts and clinicians need to be aware of the current critical situation and should be vigilant for treatment failures,’ he added.

Gonorrhoea is a bacterial infection which, if left untreated, can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancies, stillbirths, severe eye infections in babies and infertility.

Everyone Clap....

That’s it: I’m orf to play a ditty on my MakeyMakey

And today’s thought:

Is this how you do it Olympics?

Angus

The blame game: Dave and his daughter: Chuffin bonkers: Ring in a ring: Mantra footie: and Take your pick...

‘tis chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal gauge is struggling to rise and his Maj thinks that I can control the wevver so that he can go out.

No post yesterday as it was the annual Canadian Grand Prix old farts day out, a drive to Chobham to meet up with five or six other old farts (depending who is still alive) at my rich gits mate’s house, then orf to Teddington lock for a pub lunch, then a trip up the river on his motor cruiser, then back to his house to watch said Grand Prix on his fifty inch, smart, HD, 3D internet connected “entertainment centre” on Sky F1 which started at 7 of the pm.

And as old farts do we all fell asleep and missed the bloody thing, but the weather was nice, luckily I set the thingy to record the highlights on BBC1, but as usual I already know who won....roll on next year...

Son of a B....aronet and alien reptile in disguise

George (I blame all those foreigners) Osborne has decided that it isn’t his Piss Poor Policies which has put bollixed up Blighty back in the recession league.

Apparently Hopes of a British economic revival are being "killed off" by events across the Channel, he claimed.

Writing in yesterday's Sunday Telegraph, George O warned that the deal to rescue Spain's banking system would not be sufficient to end the threat to the UK economy.

He said. "That's why a resolution of the eurozone crisis would do more than anything else to give our economy a boost."

Fuck orf you overeducated shit for brains Bullingdon knob head.....

And U-Turn Cam had to do yet another U-Turn

To retrieve his eight year old daughter from the pub:

Allegedly the Prime Monster, Mrs Prime Monster and a few body guards pulled up to Chequers, two miles away from The Plough in Cadsden, Bucks before they realised she was not with them.

U-Turn Cam jumped straight in the car and rushed back to collect his daughter, arriving at the pub about 15 minutes after the family had originally left.

Upon his arrival he was relieved to find Nancy contentedly helping out the staff, according to reports. Downing Street confirmed the incident had happened after a Sunday lunch but the exact date was not known.

 

Probably because Dave can’t remember it....

And the latest thing for aspiring ball kickers

Is; chanting mantras in the dressing room before games:, Hypnotherapist Sheila Granger’s “mind management” sessions included the lads chanting phrases such as “I can be the best tackler” and “We can score the best goals”. She said: “I also got the boys to sit in a circle and stare at a football in the middle

“I told them to close their eyes and ­visualise playing their best as well as how they wanted the match to go. They almost go into a trance. The idea is to focus their attention and get rid of any distractions.

“I told the team to delete any thoughts of negatives in the past – such as bad tackles from previous games. If you keep focusing on the negatives it can be a distraction.”

It’s only a game.....

East to the land of ex-British rail

How to get 1,000 people on a chuff-chuff in 30 seconds.

Back in rear exit Blighty

Fire crews were called to a hospital to cut off a sex aid after a pensioner had battled for 36 hours to remove it.

Bemused surgeons asked for help when the 69-year-old turned up at North Manchester General Hospital and revealed his problem.

Crews from Blackley station rushed to the ward and used a precision cutting tool to free the patient.

The patient originally turned up at Fairfield Hospital, Bury, at 11pm before he was transferred to North Manchester.

Plans were made to use a four-inch angle grinder to remove the ring-shaped object, but eventually an air cut-off tool was selected.

Cooling cream was applied to the area and the patient was asked to sign a form acknowledging he was aware of the dangers of the operation.

The delicate procedure took place in the operating theatre and is understood to have taken more than an hour.

The man spent the night at the hospital and was released yesterday morning.

It is thought fire-fighters involved were offered counselling following the incident.

Should have used a cucumber.....

And finally:

East a bit to the land that probably won’t be much longer

In the capitol of democracy, Clarke police are trying to track down thieves who stole nearly 400,000 toothpicks from a local toothpick manufacturer.

Six cases of toothpicks went missing from Armond’s Manufacturing Company Inc., 95 Trade St., Athens about two weeks ago, and another seven cases disappeared last weekend, according to police.

Each case contained 288 packages of 100 toothpicks, which brings the total number of purloined picks to 374,400.

The plastic toothpicks have a total value of $2,808, police said.

In addition to the MicroPicks, the thieves also stole cases of white ProPicks, police said.

 

Pick and pack pilferers...

That’s it: I’m orf to use Kinsight to find my keys

And today’s thought:

Touchy-feely winter Olympics

  

Angus  

Show George the money: Ostrich boomers: Big balloon: Big bog: Nailed dahn in Bulgaria: and Diet glasses.

The usual at the Castle this morn-damp, drear and dodgy, I see that the jubbly thing is finally orf the TV-almost and the world can breathe a sigh of relief.

During lulls in the skywater I popped out to the garden and snapped some more roses that have bloomed, and then retired to the nice warm study.

 

And the interweb thingy is behaving rather badly this non-bank holiday Wednesday.

 Shit for brains Son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise

George (the pills aren’t working at all) Osborne has come up with yet another Piss Poor idea, apparently he wants to use Britain's army of small savers to boost the country's growth prospects.

Knob head has told Treasury officials to find ways to persuade savers to transfer billions of pounds held in bank accounts, building societies and investment funds to new government "growth bonds".

The money would be invested in infrastructure projects such as toll roads, green energy and house building.

Projects that could benefit from the idea include extending London Underground's Northern line to Battersea, a new Thames crossing, toll roads alongside some of the busiest sections of motorway, and significant investment in housing stock. Ministers’ point out that contraction in the building trade led to the double-dip recession.

Oh no it fucking didn’t, it was the lack of money in people’s pockets because of the exorbitant VAT rates, tax on go juice, rising food Leccy and gas prices, spiralling unemployment, wage freezes and the total inability of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition to realise that the less we have in our pockets the less we will spend.

A bunch of inept, inexperienced, in the money wankers....

Meanwhile, according to “experts”

People in their 60s are “burying their heads in the sand” when it comes to their health, doctors warn.

Allegedly the “sorry to bother you doctor” culture means many are risking their health, found the study, published to coincide with the Diamond Jubilee.

The Department of Health poll found a third of those in their 60s put off going to see their GP in the hope that a problem would just go away.

Almost two-thirds (62 per cent) thought health problems were “inevitable” in one’s 60s - an attitude that was particularly prevalent among men, with 71 per cent thinking so.

One in 10 said they would rather not know if a problem was serious - even though doctors have much more success if they diagnose life-threatening conditions like heart disease and cancer early.

Ministers are now working on a new initiative for Change4Life, its healthy lifestyle campaign, aimed specifically at older people.

Or is it that it takes about a week to get an appointment with your GP, and when you finally get to see him/her all they do is nag you about smoking, drinking and becoming a vegetarian because the PPPMCC insists?

Left to the home of the gasbag and the land of surveillance

 The U.S. Army is expected to test launch a new-generation surveillance blimp designed to float above warzones, intercepting communications and monitoring people on the ground below.

Up to three so-called “Long Endurance Multi-Intelligence Vehicles” were commissioned by the Army in 2010 as part of a $517 million deal cut with defence and aerospace manufacturer Northrop Grumman. The 300-foot-long, unmanned, helium-filled airship, Grumman claims, will “shape the future” of the military’s intelligence-gathering capabilities—adding a new dimension to its existing fleet of surveillance aircraft by providing a “persistent unblinking stare” from the sky.

A prototype LEMV is set to take off sometime between June 6 and 10 from New Jersey's Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst before heading to Florida to be fitted with “a custom-designed gondola containing the blimp’s cameras and radios,” according to Wired. If the trial run on domestic soil is successful, it is thought the airships will then be sent to Afghanistan.

Wonderful; $517 million on something that could be brought dahn with a bow and arrow, a crossbow, a rifle or a missile because the bleedin thing only travels at the speed of a three legged tortoise...

East to the land that allegedly doesn’t glow anymore

Someone with radiation poisoning is building the biggest public restroom in the world, set on a plot of land measuring 200 square meters, and costing US$125,000.

They say that a 6.5-foot wall will shield women from prying eyes and that there is also a curtain they can use to further protect themselves while in the glass-encased toilet.

Surrounded by flowers and plants, the flowery fresh scent will be all that remains after you have used the toilet.

According to an official from the Tourism Promotion Department in Ichihara City, the extravagant toilet enclosure and its picturesque surroundings were created as a tourist attraction at next year’s Ichihara City Art Festival, a government-led initiative to “help improve the area through the renovation of public facilities with the help of arts.” 

Rubbery; we chaps however will be banned as it is for “ladies” only.

Left a fair way and up more than a whimsy

According to Bozhidar Dimitrov, head of the National History Museum in the Bulgarian capital Sofia, two skeletons from the Middle Ages have been discovered near the Black Sea town of Sozopol.

"These two skeletons stabbed with rods illustrate a practice which was common in some Bulgarian villages up until the first decade of the 20th century," said Mr Dimitrov.

Widespread superstition led to iron rods being hammered through the chest bones and hearts of those who did evil during their lifetimes for fear they would return after death to feast on the blood of the living.

In 2004, archaeologist Petar Balabanov unearthed six nailed-down skeletons at a site near the eastern town of Debelt.

He said the pagan rite also was practised in neighbouring Serbia and other Balkan countries.

People believed the rod would pin them down to prevent them from leaving their graves at midnight and terrorising people as they slept, the historian explained.

 

Unfortunately it didn’t work because they all moved to Blighty and now call themselves the ‘Coalition’.

And finally:

Back over to the land where radiation isn’t affecting people at all

Goggles that trick the wearer into thinking the plain snack in their hand is a chocolate cookie, or make biscuits appear larger have been unveiled in Japan, offering hope to weak-willed dieters everywhere.

Researchers at the University of Tokyo have developed devices that use computer wizardry and augmented reality to fool the senses and make users feel more satisfied with smaller -- or less appealing -- treats.

On one device goggle-mounted cameras send images to a computer, which magnifies the apparent size of the cookie in the image it displays to the wearer while keeping his hand the same size, making the snack appear larger than it actually is.

In experiments, volunteers consumed nearly 10 percent less when the biscuits they were eating appeared 50 percent bigger.

They ate 15 percent more when cookies were manipulated to look two-thirds of their real size.

Users can set the device to their favourite taste so they think they are eating a chocolate or strawberry-flavoured cookie.

Hirose says experiments so far have shown 80 percent of subjects are fooled.

The team has no plans as yet to commercialise their invention, but would like to investigate whether people wanting to lose weight can use the device.

Err no.......

That’s it: I’m orf to get some willow glass

And today’s thought:

Olympic ostrich

Angus