Lack of lack of cold, less solar stuff, limited atmospheric
movement and lower amounts of sky water at the Castle this morn.
Took a day orf yesterday, back to putting non coloured stuff
on both sides of eight doors, the woodwork dahn the staircase and twenty yards
of skirting boards today.
According to Three Core Cable what is left of Europe could
be plunged into war if the Euro goes tits up, he thinks that “the consequences
would be “incalculable” and added there was “no automatic guarantee” that Europe
would not disintegrate into conflict.”
Just one thought;
which countries can afford to go to war? Most of the European population is in
Blighty.
Tory minister Owen Paterson is busy getting everyone around
him up to speed… on the use of grammar.
The new Food Secretary has issued a strict guide detailing
exactly how staff should draw up his paperwork – including the proper use of
semicolons
Privately educated Mr Paterson is accused of losing sight of
the big picture after instructing Whitehall mandarins never to start a sentence
with “and” or “but” – and insisting neither word must appear next to a comma.
They are also told to “maximise the use of semicolons to
link related clauses” and “there should be a verb either side of the
semicolon”.
In the document, revealed under freedom of information laws,
staff have been ordered to avoid dashes, limit colons to lists and “minimise
the use of brackets”.
They are warned: “You will only ever get away with one set
of brackets in a sentence.”
Mr Paterson, 56, who studied at £30,000-a-year Radley
College and Cambridge, produced his nit-picking charter after David Cameron promoted
him in last month’s Cabinet reshuffle following the sacking of Caroline Spelman.
Pillock Paterson's rules
Keep sentences
short – the simpler the better
Avoid jargon,
dashes and brackets
Use maximum of one
‘and’ per sentence
Never begin with
‘and’ or ‘but’ and never use them with a comma
Maximise semicolons
to link related clauses; use a verb either side
Use colons to start
lists; commas between items
Nice to see that the Tory Tosspot has his priorities right, “if”
he read-this blog; he would have a seizure: (wanker)....
Forget about the lunatic that threw himself out of a balloon
23 miles up, here are some real free fallers, Montana wildlife officials on
Thursday had to sedate a black bear and her two cubs after they had climbed up
a tree on the grounds of a hotel in Missoula. The bears fell into a net, and
the hotel even provided pillows to help break their fall.
Proper Job..,
Solenne San Jose,
from Pessac, in the Bordeaux region of France, terminated her contract with
Bouygues Telecom in September, reports the French newspaper Sud Ouest. When she
got her bill on Sept. 28 with the cancellation fee, she said she "almost
had a heart attack."
She was told
11,721,000,000,000,000 Euros — which is about $15 quadrillion or nearly 6,000
times more than her country's GDP — would automatically be withdrawn from her
account.
"It was so
many zeroes I couldn't even figure out how much it was," she told the
newspaper.
Eventually,
Bouygues admitted the amount was a mistake, but not before many frustrating
hours of San Jose pleading and arguing with customer service reps on the phone.
One operator told
her she could pay in instalments — 11,721 million, million of them.
Finally, they
admitted the error. Her actual bill? $149.
And finally:
A lazy new dad has
built the world's fastest motorised pram to save the effort of having to push
it.
Plumber Colin Furze
added a powerful engine to his silver metal pushchair, giving it an incredible
top speed of 50mph.
But the
33-year-old, from Stamford, Lincolnshire, says it's too powerful to go at top
speeds with baby son Jake.
He spent four weeks
and £450 designing and making the pushchair, which has a 125cc motorbike engine
hidden between the wheels.
Mr Furze uses an
accelerator and brake levers to control the speed, gears to go up hills, and
the handle to steer.
Worzel Furze?
And today’s thought:
Time to get a life
Angus
