My Old Dutch: No chance Nick: 10 days to Armageddon: Scotch bonnet: Mucky truck: Clarkson should be hung, drawn and quartered: and the dog and duck.

Wettish, calmish and coolish at the Castle this morn, the study is still devoid of devastated do dahs, his Maj is still bringing me worms and the elbow has finally stopped hurting. 

It being the 1^st of December and our 40^th wedding anniversary I wasn’t going to post today but life goes on and below is a tribute to my lovely “M”.

Sorry about the sound quality.

It seems that optimist and brown nose Nick Clegg

Is in a bit of a quandary after endorsing another two years of public spending cuts following the next general election.

Muppet Danny Alexander, the Liberal Democrat Chief Treasury Secretary, could not say where cuts required after 2015 would fall. "In good time, well before the election, we will set out where those savings will be made," he said. Asked if the Liberal Democrats would go into the next election promising nearly £30bn more austerity, he replied: "I'm afraid so."

 The Lib Dems have about as much chance of winning the next election as..........the Tories.

Allegedly over in the Eurozone

Banks have been told to brace themselves for financial Armageddon after being told there were just ten days left to save the euro.

They were advised to make contingency plans for the inevitable collapse of the single currency unless European leaders can come up with a last-minute rescue package.

Can’t wait....

Back in British Blighty and up a bit

Scotch Bonnet Cheddar - the hottest cheese ever to be sold in the UK - is about to land on supermarket shelves across the country.

It has been made using the fearsome Scotch Bonnet chilli pepper, which is known to pack a flaming punch.

The Scotch Bonnet emits a heat intensity that blows away the more commonly used Jalapeno. The intensity of a chilli is measured in Scoville units and the Scotch Bonnet has a rating of 100,000-350,000, while the Jalapeno only has a 2500-8000 score.

The cheese has been developed for Tesco and will be available in over 700 stores, priced at £2 for a 250g pack.

Tesco cheese buyer Ashleigh MacFarlane said: 'Britain has a huge growing chilli culture which is increasingly creeping into all kinds of everyday foods from chocolate, jams, crisps, nuts and now cheese.

Save having to buy mouse traps-just put the cheese down and you end up with a ready cooked snack....

Right oodles of lengths

To the land of bamboo and noodles a trucker tried to shoot the lights at a junction in Shenzhen, Guangdong province, southern China managed to tip his motor over and dumped more than a smidge of dirt on a taxi.

Cabbie Lui Ming, 45, suddenly found himself in more than half a tonne of soil when the lorry driver had to brake suddenly and ended up overturning his truck.

"I was waiting at a traffic light and the squeals of his brake behind me - and then it went complete dark," he explained.

Passersby helped dig him out but the crushed car was a write off, say police.

Dirty trick....

And not surprisingly

The BBC has been forced to apologise after Jeremy Clarkson said he would like to see striking public sector workers "shot" in front of their families.

The Top Gear presenter made his comments on BBC's The One Show on the evening of Britain's biggest public sector strikes in 30 years.

He said of the strikers: "I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families.

"I mean, how dare they go on strike when they've got these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living."

Work for a living? Travelling the world at our expense driving Asbo Martins, Lambos, Bugatti Veyrons, Koenigseggs and Ferraris is “work” is it?

Fuck orf Clarkson.

And finally:

Left to the land of the gun and the home of the Numpty

An American man was rushed to hospital after being shot in the buttocks by his dog during an ill-fated duck hunting accident in Utah.

The 46 year-old, who has not been named, was hit just a few feet away from his "excited" pet canine, which had stepped on a shotgun in his boat.

He escaped serious injury – only receiving an injury to his buttocks and, almost certainly to his pride. Police confirmed the incident was not a hoax.

Officers said the man, and an unidentified friend had been duck hunting on the Great Salt Lake, in the country's west, at the weekend.

The hunter, from Brigham City, about 60 miles north of the state capital Salt Lake City, was shot as he climbed out of the boat to move decoys in the shallow marsh area.

Kevin Potter, the Box Elder County Sheriff’s deputy chief, said the man left his 12-gauge shotgun in the boat before the dog stepped on it, causing it to discharge.

The right to bare arse?
 

That’s it: I’m orf to apply for a job

And today’s thought:

Angus

Tesco riots: Another slice out of the NHS: Barcelona Bikini Ban: Labrador Ice Island: Smile-you are going to be exhumed: and a show jumping Rabbit.

Sunny, nippy and a touch windy at the Castle this morn, the Honda is shiny red again (for a while) and apparently there was some sort of a do in the smoke yesterday.

On a personal note-“happy birthday” to my lovely “M” who would have been 60 today, my turn in few months, doesn’t time fly………

Forgot to put this in earlier.

The first Roses are out in the garden, this is a scented dog rose which I bought from Wilkinsons ten years ago, it was a four inch "stick" and cost 50p, and smells like Turkish Delight-go on,. have a sniff, you know you want to....

Dahn in Bristol

Police launched an eviction raid on a Bristol squat yesterday after riots raged for a second time in a suburb that has become a focal point for anger against heavy-handed policing.

More than 30 people were arrested after another night of violence in Stokes Croft, a bohemian suburb of Bristol that is vehemently opposed to the opening of a Tesco store.

Last week's protests centered on the opening of the new Tesco store, but many local residents of Stokes Croft yesterday voiced concerns that their demonstrations had been hijacked by outsiders keen to fight with the police.

Bloody Tesco.

And: John Healey, the shadow health secretary, raised questions over the timing of an official announcement that hospitals may need to make savings far greater than those already planned.

He said the statement by Monitor, that leading hospitals must make savings of up to 7 per cent a year, proved that the re-organisation of the NHS and cost-cutting plans are putting the system under “huge strain”.

Mr Healey said: “With all eyes on the Royal Wedding, the Government is trying to bury bad news on the NHS.

“This confirms the combination of broken promises on NHS funding and re-organisation is putting a huge strain on hospitals. David Cameron must halt his high-risk, high cost overhaul of the NHS.

“The Prime Minister promised to protect the NHS but his health policies are piling extra pressure on health services, and patients are starting to see the NHS going backwards again under the Tories.”

In plans established under Labour, the NHS must make efficiency savings of 4 per cent of its budget by 2015, totaling £20billion.

Many trusts have already announced job cuts and service reductions, although ministers want them to concentrate on reducing waste.

But Monitor, which oversees the 137 leading hospitals known as Foundation Trusts, has warned them that they may need to make savings of at least 50 per cent more than initially thought.

In a letter published on Thursday, the day before the royal wedding, the regulator said it had revised its figures on the basis of last year’s spending review, current inflation expectations and new NHS operating rules.

The Department of Health insisted the NHS is in a “strong financial position” and that the higher savings estimates represented Monitor’s worst-case scenario.

“We are investing an extra £11.5 billion into the NHS by 2014/15. But higher costs and an ageing population mean that the NHS must meet the highest possible financial standards and find savings to reinvest into patient care.

“Monitor's assessment of 6 per cent to 7 per cent is its 'downside case', meaning it is more pessimistic. But it is right that Monitor's assessments are challenging - we want all hospitals to be able to meet Monitor's standards and show that they can provide sustainable, high quality and efficient services for their patients.”

Well, excuse me for getting “old” and paying all that money to the Gov for all those years……

Down a fair bit

Tourists in Barcelona who wander off the beach onto the streets in just their swimming costumes -- or even less -- will now face stiff fines.

The city hall voted on Friday to ban "nudity or virtual nudity in public places" and limit swimming costumes to swimming pools, beaches, adjacent roads and beach walks.

Nudists who stray off their designated areas of the beach will be subject to fines of 300 to 500 euros ($450 to 750).

Those who wander into the streets in bikinis, swimming trunks or swimsuits face fines of 120 to 300 euros.

Authorities in the city, where the port and the beach areas are adjacent to the historic old town, earlier this year put up posters discouraging such behaviour.

They showed a couple in swimming costumes with a red line across it next to another couple dressed normally but without the red line.

With the new regulations, city authorities hope to "ensure coexistence between citizens in public areas," but denied that they are "telling people how they should dress," said the city councillor in charge of security, Assumpta Escarp.

You have been warned….don’t hang out in Barcelona

Left quite a distance

A massive chunk of ice that broke off a glacier in Greenland is drifting towards Labrador, the Canadian Coast Guard has warned.

Currently, the so-called ice island is moving through icy portions of the Labrador Sea where there is little human activity, but it's making its way south towards areas with lots of shipping activity, said Dan Frampton, superintendent of ice operations with the coast guard's Newfoundland and Labrador division.

But by the time it reaches an area where it could pose a risk, it will likely be broken into less dangerous ice chunks, said Frampton.

So what’s all the bleedin fuss about then? Unless your ship is named Titanic……..

A while back I did a snippet on the hunt for the “real” Mona Lisa

Researchers have now begun their hunt for the remains of the woman who might have been the model for Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, hoping to unravel a mystery that has baffled art historians for over five centuries.

A team of experts armed with a special radar device descended this week on a dilapidated convent in Florence where they believe the body of the woman who modelled for da Vinci back in the 16th century is buried.

The real Mona Lisa, Italian art historians say, was Lisa Gherardini, the wife of a rich Florentine silk merchant named Francesco del Giocondo who is thought to have commissioned the portrait -- although there is no definitive proof of this.

The researchers say that if they can find her skull, they will be able to reconstruct her face and compare it with the painting.

Grave robbing in the name of “art”.

And finally:

Right a bit to Germany

The very hoppy bunny, Snoopy from Jena, Germany, earns his carrots by trying to jump as high as he can around specially designed rabbit race courses.

The sport sees little Snoopy leaping over a number of dressage style fences arranged at different heights as well as taking part in long-jump and high-jump challenges.

Snoopy's owner Claudia Fehlen says that the black and white rabbit can reach up to 60 centimetres high (about 2 feet).  

23-year-old Miss Fehlen is very proud of Snoopy saying: 'He has done well in tournaments. He came in second once, and third another time.'

Miss Fehlen found out about the sport five years ago on the internet and has been training her rabbits since 2009.

Rabbit jumping is said to have been invented in the early eighties in Sweden and is now taking parts of Europe, America Canada and Japan by storm.

Japan and storm aren't really two words you want to see in the same sentence.

That’s it: I’m orf to search for older Gaels. 

And today’s thought: Can we please have news other than the “Royal Wedding” on the TV today…

Angus