Article 50: Salad days in Toronto: A load of bull: Pokemon Pratt: Monkey see-monkey vote and even more Bull.

Much lack of warm, a whimsy of atmospheric movement, even less skywater and Dawns crack is quite wide at the Castle this morn.

The temperature has finally dropped below 30c (or 86 in C of  E) which means that poor old Angus can finally operate within “normal” parameters and his Maj can move about without collapsing in a panting heap.

Oh to be in Blighty now that summers has come-and gorn-probably

                                             The Brexit bollocks is still dragging its feet

But apparently if the new Prime Monster gets orf her arse we could get out much faster- 

Theoretically, there is nothing to stop a British Government unilaterally withdrawing from the EU by simply repealing the 1972 European Communities Act. Article 50 compels only the EU to seek a negotiation, not the withdrawing member state. 

So come on May get us out and “negotiate” later, after all Blighty managed to survive for many-many years before the EU and it will survive after.

Meanwhile lots of miles to the left and up quite a lot

Police have charged a 52-year-old Brampton, Ont., man with careless driving after a transport truck carrying large vats of salad dressing rolled over on a busy Toronto highway while making a turn.

The single-vehicle crash caused a flood of thick neon green and white sludge to spill over the road as the truck lay on its side.

Ontario Provincial Police Sgt. Kerry Schmidt says the incident took place at about 11 a.m. on Tuesday and left the driver of the vehicle with just a few cuts and scrapes.

He says the truck was "fully loaded" with bulk loads of salad dressing, mayonnaise and other food products.

Crews spent the whole afternoon at the scene of the crash (at the Don Valley Parkway northbound ramp to Highway 401 West) cleaning up the mess.

And having lunch-probably.

Right oodles of KMs and dahn a bit

A Spanish bullfighter is seriously ill in hospital after being gored three times in a horrific onslaught which saw a bull’s horn pierce his lung.

The incident comes a fortnight after Victor Barrio was killed in the ring.

Pablo Belando, 26, was “very serious” after being gored in his chest, leg and buttocks in Madrid’s famous Las Ventas bullring.

Twatt....

Right even more units of length and dahn a lot

JAKARTA, Indonesia -- Indonesian police say they detained a Frenchman who trespassed on a military base while playing the augmented reality game Pokemon Go.

A spokesman for West Java police said that Romain Pierre, 27, was caught at a checkpoint on Monday evening after initially running away when challenged by security guards at the military complex in Cirebon.

Pierre was released a few hours later because it became apparent "he unintentionally entered the complex as he was hunting Pokemon while jogging," the police spokesman, Col. Yusri Yunus, said Tuesday.

Le Pratt....

 Still in the same area-ish

BANGKOK -- Election officials in northern Thailand think they can buy off a gang of monkey vandals with fresh fruit and vegetables, after about 100 macaques tore up voter lists publicly posted ahead of next month's referendum on a proposed constitution.

District official Surachai Maneeprakorn said a large population of the monkeys lives behind the Buddhist temple where the polling station they raided Sunday is set up in an open hall.

"For some reason they were being very naughty and started tearing up the lists," he said.

Local officials brought the animals food Monday, and hope that if that does not deter them, then newly installed sliding glass doors protecting the reposted lists might, said Phichit district election official Prayoon Jakkraphatcharakul.

I do love an optimist......

And finally:

Back over to what’s left of the EU

Six foreigners, including three Americans, were among seven people gored in a second running of thebulls at Pamplona’s San Fermin festival, according to the Navarra regional government.

A 58-year-old Spaniard identified only by the initials FLR, a 73-year-old South African man 

identified as MHO, and a 48-year-old Canadian with the initials PCO were in serious condition, a statement said.

The regional government said one American, 55 and identified by the initials PGO, and another, aged 23 with the initials WRO, were gored but their injuries were reported to be less serious. A third American, a 46-year-old with the initials JGO, and a 26-year-old Indian, with the initials NSO, were also said to have sustained less serious injuries.

The regional government said nine others were taken to city hospitals for injuries from the run. Several of the six bulls used in the event became separated from the pack moments into the 8am run and began charging people in their way.

A mass of Twatts identified by the initials F------ I-----

That’s it: I’m orf to get my hips replaced

And today’s thought:

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
~ Dennis Wholey ~ 

Angus

Cold cuts: Car crash: Bulls’ Bollocks Beer: Parsnip poser: 'Pegomastax africanus': and Funny Honey.

Massive movements of atmosphere, bucketfuls of sky water, beneath contempt amounts of lack of warm and not a ray of solar stuff at the Castle this morn. 

Still putting coloured stuff on the walls and things (mainly the floors), still haven’t got the butler to fire up the furnace, and still watching the garden disintegrate “under the wevver”.

 

Staying on the meteorological thingy

Apparently scientists dahn on the sarf pole do-da are not happy snowpersons, a row has broken out over the fate of one of the country's most distinguished scientific organisations, the British Antarctic Survey. The 60-year-old outfit, whose achievements have included the discovery of the hole in the ozone layer, is to be merged with the National Oceanography Centre in Southampton as part of a cost-saving exercise.

The merger – which would create a Centre for Ocean and Polar Science based in Southampton – has been proposed to satisfy government demands for major cuts to be made in the budget of the Natural Environment Research Council (NERC), which funds the BAS. Science minister David Willetts wants a 10% cut in NERC expenditure and a 45% reduction in its capital spending by 2015. Polar research, which is costly, has been chosen to take a major hit.

But the downgrade threat has outraged scientists and politicians who say it will seriously weaken Britain's scientific reputation and its ability to carry out climate research.

 

Oh dear what a shame; I do climate research for free-just read the first sentence of this piss poor blog every day...

 

And all across traffic jam Blighty

 

 

A “Government advisor” has come up with a cunning plan to make the wevver better. Buyers of gas-guzzling sports cars and other large-engine vehicles would face a new purchase tax of up to £23,000.

Even the price of some small cars would rise by more than £1,500 in exchange for the abolition of annual Vehicle Excise Duty payments.

But buyers of new small efficient cars would get a government subsidy of up to £750, under the proposed rules, which are being promoted by the Liberal Democrats.

The proposals for vehicle taxation come as the Treasury considers the best way to reform or replace VED to respond to the increasing fuel efficiency of modern cars.

For instance, the purchase price of 1.25 litre petrol Ford Fiesta would rise from £9,084 today to £10,734. By contrast, a 1.6 litre diesel model of the same car would become cheaper, falling from £11,845 to £11,495.

Vehicles that currently have similar prices would diverge sharply under the new rules, Mr Leunig suggests. For example, he cites Ford and Chrysler people-carriers, currently both on sale for around £28,000.

Under the new scheme, the Chrysler would be £3950 more expensive than the Ford, because it has much higher emissions.

The biggest up-front subsidy of £750 would be applied to cars including the Toyota Yaris.

While the most-polluting cars would attract very large tariffs, with some Aston Martin models facing a new sales charge of £23,050.

Around 150 luxury models -- with total annual sales of around 5400 cars --would face a first registration fee of £10,000 or more, the report estimates.

 

The plan is put forward today in a think-tank paper written by Tim Leunig, who has recently been appointed a special adviser to the Government.

 

Bugger! I have been saving my pennies to buy a new Asbo Martin...should be able to get it in abaht two hundred and fifty years....

 

Left to the home of the six pack and the land of steaks

A US brewery which announced it was making beer out of bull testicles as an April Fool's Day stunt has now done it for real.

The Wynkoop Brewing Company, in Denver, Colorado, has named its creation Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout.

Head brewer Andy Brown said: "Yes, the beer was inspired by our April Fools spoof video this spring, in which we claimed to have released a beer made with bull testicles.

"When we sent out the press release and the video link last April, we heard from brewers and beer writers who thought the beer was for real and loved the idea.

"So we've turned our joke into a reality. We've been making ballsy beer for the past few years. And this is great proof of that."

Mr Brown described the beer as an "assertive foreign-style stout, slightly viscous, with a deep brown colour".

Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout, named after the local name for fried bull's testicles - a delicacy in Colorado, goes on sale at the brewery's pub in Denver on 8 October.

"It has equally deep flavours of chocolate syrup, Kahlua, and espresso, along with a palpable level of alcohol and a savoury umami-like note. It finishes dry and roasted with a fast-fading hop bite," he added.

 

Glad I don’t drink.

 

Back in bemused Blighty

Allegedly a survey has unearthed that one in five of us think that parsnips grow on trees.

According to the research, a worrying number of British grown-ups did not know that the root vegetable is grown underground.

Other figures dug up include 20% of adults who think that melons come from the ground.

And one in 20 believe they can find a Granny Smith in the potato aisle of a supermarket

To mark Potato Week, experts have now simplified how the veg is listed on shelves with signs stating “Fluffy”, “Salad” and “Smooth” so shoppers can select the right kind for their meals.

It comes as the poll of 2,000 Brits found half pick the wrong potato to roast.

More than a third can’t boil spuds without them crumbling or losing their shape and over a quarter ends up with lumpy mash.

Ms Evans added: “To get great results you need to pick the right type of potato.

 

Ye gods! Are we really that thick? Maybe the picture will educate the 20%.

 

Right a fair way and dahn more than a whimsy

 

A new species of puny dinosaur has been confirmed by researchers at the University of Chicago.

It has been named 'Pegomastax africanus' meaning 'thick jaw from Africa'.

The creature is so small it has taken decades to identity. The discovery was originally made in 1983 from a specimen found in a slab of red rock found in southern Africa in the 1960s.

Its size made Mr Sereno think whether "anyone else might spot the creature hiding among the lab drawers".

Pegomastax measures less than two feet (61cm) long and weighed less than a house cat.

It has been described as a cross between a bird, a porcupine and a vampire because of its fangs and blunt beak.

The creature belongs to a class of small herbivores called heterodontosaurus and lived around 200 million years ago.

 

Who’s not a pretty boy then...

 

And finally:

 

Over Le canal anglais

Bees at a cluster of apiaries in north-eastern France have been producing honey in mysterious shades of blue and green, alarming their keepers who now believe residue from containers of M&M's candy processed at a nearby biogas plant is the cause.

Since August, beekeepers around the town of Ribeauville in the region of Alsace have seen bees returning to their hives carrying unidentified colourful substances that have turned their honey unnatural shades.

Agrivalor, the company operating the biogas plant, said it had tried to address the problem after being notified of it by the beekeepers.

"We discovered the problem at the same time they did. We quickly put in place a procedure to stop it," Philippe Meinrad, co-manager of Agrivalor, told Reuters.

He said the company had cleaned its containers and incoming waste would now be stored in a covered hall.

Mars operates a chocolate factory near Strasbourg, around 100 km (62 miles) away from the affected apiaries.

 

M&M&M&M&M......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to test out Einstein’s theory

 

And today’s thought:

Two pints please landlord

 

Angus