So: Knob head 'Dave' gets it over Europe: Wait a week to see your general medic: Cover your manhole: Serial crapper: Weird Eurovision winner: and the Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher.

Much skywater, even more atmospheric movement, quite a lot of lack of cold and Dawn's crack seems to have healed over.

It seems like it's been three weeks since the last post, mainly because I went dahn to Tesco on the gruel, stale bread substitute and his Maj's food run a while ago and picked up an infection of the nasal passages, I think they had a catch one get one free deal on at the time because the old bowels have been less than satisfactory since.

But I waited a week to see my general medic who diagnosed a sinus infection and a stay close to the toilet thingy.

After a few days of industrial antibiotics poor old Angus is on the mend.

 

And talking of stuff that comes out of the rear exit

Dave Cam our delightful Prime Monster is telling us that he understands as he appeals directly to those disenchanted with the EU ahead of the local and euro elections.

Writing in The Telegraph, he proclaims his “passionate” and “optimistic” belief in Britain’s potential, arguing that “real” patriots should vote Tory rather than be tempted to support the UK Independence Party.

“If you’re thinking 'I’ve heard all this before’ – I get it,” he says, before going on to offer his personal guarantee that he will resign as prime minister if he cannot deliver an in-out referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU after the election next year.

 

Fat fucking chance, and who the hell is going to vote for Niggle Garage and his load of racist Numptys....

 

It seems that poor old angus isn't the only one in the NHS queue

Allegedly Patients waited more than a week to see their GP on almost 50 million occasions last year, new figures show.

An analysis by the Royal College of GPs found that 47 million GP appointments in 2013 – one in six of all consultations – involved a wait of at least seven days to see a doctor or nurse.

In 2012, the figure was 40 million – suggesting a rise of 17 per cent, year on year. If the trend continues, projections suggest that next year 57 million GP appointments will involve a wait of a week or more.

Senior doctors last night warned GPs were buckling under the demands of an ageing population, and that too often only those who “shouted the loudest” were able to secure help quickly. Experts said some patients were forced to wait even longer than a week, with delays of up to a month for appointments at some surgeries.

 

So it's us old farts that are causing it; still waiting times should plummet when they bring in the ten pound charge to see your general medic....

 

Right a lot to Taiwan

 

 A scooter rider has been caught on camera falling off his vehicle - and then sliding straight into an open manhole.

He loses balance after clipping the right wing mirror of the car, goes into a skid, comes off his scooter and falls down the hole.

The accident was filmed in Taiwan and has been viewed more than 30,000 times since it was uploaded to YouTube.

The rider luckily escaped with just a few minor injuries.

 

Luckily my manhole has never has a scooter rider up it.....

 

Left even more to the home of the free and the land of the brave

 

Deputies are looking for a man who is accused of defecating in multiple yards in a Houston neighborhood.

The man has allegedly struck one home on Byrne Street so many times it forced the homeowners to install security cameras to catch the man in the act.

Police are looking for the man seen in the surveillance photos, saying he has defecated in the front yard of that home six times -- and has spread his waste to other homes in the area.

"This is our neighborhood. Whatever people think should go on around here -- pooping is not OK," neighbor Aimee Parsons told KPRC-TV in Houston.

 

Oh shit......

 

Last eve I turned over to BBC1 to watch the news and was confronted with

 This:

 

The "winner" of the Eurowasting Song doodah turns out to be a bloke with a beard wearing a dress and singing a song that should have been consigned to the editing room floor.

Apparently Austrian drag act Conchita Wurst has been crowned the winner of the 59th annual Eurovision Song Contest held in Denmark's capital, Copenhagen.

The singer, whose real name is Tom Neuwirth, won with the song Rise Like a Phoenix, collecting 290 points.

The Netherlands finished second with 238 points, with Sweden in third place with 218 points.

The UK's Molly Smitten-Downes came 17th, with 40 points for her song Children of the Universe.

 

Another reason to get out.....

 

And finally

 

Dahn a bit to the place where the great British Mini comes from

 

It seems that the Germans have a thing that can crack soft boiled eggs and is called the Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher.

Wonderful: I've had one for years...it's called a spoon.....

 

That's it: I'm orf to get a transfusion...if I can get an appointment...

 

And today's thought:

The paradox of growing old

 

Angus

Tiger wives: Eurozone backlash: Lords are coining it in: The ups and downs of life: A Helivan: Fat German nudists: Bridge under troubled water: Alabama Confederates: and an exploding Manhole.

Dark, damp, drizzly and dingy at the Castle this morn, very late-couldn’t be bothered to get up, been to Tesco for stale bread, gruel and pussy food, the study is still empty of broken doo dahs, the garden still need fettling and I need a holiday. 

Apparently the World is run by “Tiger Wives”

According to the Torygraph; women such as Wendi Deng (Rupert bear), Cheri Blair (Tone), Anne Sinclair (Dominique Strauss-Kahn), Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (Guess who) and Melania Trump (up your tower) are the real power behind their husbands.

Read the whole lot if you want (click on the link over the photo) but I for one am not surprised by this “revelation”. 

And Auntie is commenting on the “Eurozone” thingy.

Eurozone leaders are set to meet for a crunch summit to try to resolve the Greek debt crisis and prevent any further contagion to other so-called peripheral economies.

Policymakers will discuss a range of measures, including a new loan package to Greece and the role of private investors in any debt restructuring.

Reports suggest a new tax on banks will also be debated.

But German Chancellor Angela Merkel has cautioned against over optimism.

The Governor of the Bank of England, Sir Mervyn King, has said that the crisis in the Eurozone posed the most serious and immediate risk to the UK's financial system.

President Barack Obama has also weighed in, calling Mrs Merkel on Tuesday night to stress the importance of tackling the debt crisis in sustaining the global economic recovery.

The International Monetary Fund has also called on European leaders to take swift and decisive action.

Delaying such action further would be "very costly" for the world economy, it said.

Why does all this sound so familiar?

And despite expenses “reforms”

The unelected members of the House of Lords are claiming even more of our money. Since the changes were introduced the average sum received by members of the House of Lords had risen from £270 to £274 for every attendance.

The Coalition’s appointments to the upper chamber also boosted the overall expenses bill, figures released by the parliamentary authorities suggested.

The new system was put in place last October following a series of scandals that resulted in two peers being jailed. The £174 overnight subsistence, £86.50 day subsistence and £75 office costs allowances were scrapped in favour of a tax-free flat rate of £300 per day, or £150 per half day. Travel expenses were reimbursed separately as previously.

Membership of the Lords rose from 750 in 2009-10 to 819 in the fourth quarter of 2010-11. The average daily attendance between January and March was 497 — up more than a quarter on the same period in the previous year.

The total financial support granted to peers in 2010-11 was £18.7 million, compared with £17.2 million in 2009-10.

But do not forget-“We are all in this together”.......

In the land of ups and downs

A suburban Dallas woman’s well-meaning attempt to help her future husband overcome his fear of heights went horribly wrong when a bungee ride they were in got stuck 50 feet off the ground for three hours because cables got tangled.

Irving residents William Mancera and Thalia Rodriguez were not injured during their Monday ordeal. Dallas fire-fighters eventually used an aerial ladder truck to help get the couple safely to the ground.

Mancera tells KXAS-TV that his fear of heights "won again" and he is "never riding anything of that sort ever again." But he also says the ordeal has brought him and his fiancée closer together. They plan to marry in February. 

She wishes.......

 Back in East Sussex

Visitors to the Blackberry Wood campsite, near Ditchling in East Sussex, will get their camping holidays off to a flying start if they spend their break in this contraption.

Father-of-three Johnson bought the former Royal Navy copter for £5,000 and has already stripped it down to make way for caravan furniture.

Happy campers can hire it for about £60 a night, plus a charge of £5 and £9 per person.

It will be surrounded by a mock army camp, complete with sandbags and an army shelter. Such a unique camping feature is bound to take off.

Those who don't fancy bedding down in that particular vehicle can opt to stay in a double-decker bus or a tiny ’60s Dutch ‘bubble’ caravan.

 

Must cross Ditchling orf the list of places to stay....

 And over in the land of funny tasting cabbage

The naked sunbathers who once crowded Germany’s Baltic beaches and city parks are becoming an endangered species due to shifting demographics, the fall of the Berlin Wall, growing prosperity and widening girths.

Allegedly the main problem is the shrinking population. The number of Germans fell by more than 3.2 million over the last three decades even though the country’s total population has managed to remain more or less steady at about 82 million thanks to immigration — often from countries in Eastern Europe and the Balkans as well as Turkey and Arabic countries.

Oh dear a dearth of fat nudists-what a shame.....

Right a fair bit

A truck overloaded with sand has caused a bridge to collapse in China - leaving a scene that looked like the aftermath of an earthquake.

The vehicle, which was weighed down with 160 tons of sand, crushed the Baihe Bridge in Beijing's Huairou district.

The 230 metre structure can only support 55 tons and crumpled under the weight of the lorry as it tried to cross.

Officials have put in place and emergency repair plan for the crossing which opened in 1987.

Nobody has been reported injured but the driver was detained for questioning.

Liang Chaoyang, deputy director of Huairou road department, said: "We are going to build a contemporary road down by bridge for vehicles to pass."

 Should have gone to Specsavers....

Back across to the Southern bit of the land of “temporary taxes”

The last of the more than 60,000 Confederate veterans who came home to Alabama after the Civil War died generations ago, yet residents are still paying a tax that supported the neediest among them.

Despite fire-and-brimstone opposition to taxes among many in a state that still has "Heart of Dixie" on its license plates, officials never stopped collecting a property tax that once funded the Alabama Confederate Soldiers' Home, which closed 72 years ago. The tax now pays for Confederate Memorial Park, which sits on the same 102-acre tract where elderly veterans used to stroll.

I have heard of this sort of thing before-isn’t our “income tax” a temporary thing imposed to support the Napoleonic Wars?

 And finally:

 Up a fair bit

Amateur video shows a car being hurled into the air after flood waters blow open a manhole in Montreal.

Video provided by Canadian broadcasters showed the explosion of water caused by a flooded sewer.

Water rushed from under the car pushing the vehicle's rear several feet into the air before eventually shifting it from over the fierce jet of fluid.

The last time my manhole exploded was after a dodgy biryani from the Delhi Belly takeaway.

That’s it: I’m orf to search for the Bog Spider-with a rolled up newspaper.

 And today’s thought: It may be that your sole purpose in life is . . . simply to serve as a warning to others.

 Angus