New El Papa: Last El Papa: Fake walnuts: Numpty up to his neck: and a Hole in one fairway.

Lots of lack of warm, little atmospheric movement, even less sky water and much solar stuff at the Castle this morn, Dawn’s crack was enormous and kindly melted all the scrapey-scrapey stuff orf the Honda saving my poor old battered body from further pain.

The “ring of agony” has now subsided to an ache in the side and his Maj has discovered the joy of snuggling up to the heating pad I have been using to boil the pain away.

 

I see that the Vatican has a new boss

According to the bleedin endless coverage by Auntie after just a few votes El Papa Francis the first has taken over the reins.

The 76-year-old from Buenos Aires is the first pope to take the name of Francis - reminiscent of Francis of Assisi, the 13th Century Italian reformer and patron saint of animals, who lived in poverty.

As usual “they” have elected a conservative old fart who probably won’t sort out the buggering of kiddlies by priests and the buggering of priests by other priests, and won’t last very long.

 

Which brings me to this

 

Apparently according to Nostradamus the end of a pope and the Church itself at a time when a great comet was to fill our skies. Comet Ison, said to be one of the brightest for centuries, will pass by later this year.

Quatrain II.46

"The great star for seven days shall burn

So nakedly clear like two suns appearing

The large dog all night howling

While the great Pontiff shall change his territory."

Another of Nostradamus's writings has also been associated with the end of the Catholic Church:

Quatrain VI.6:

There will appear towards the North

Not far from Cancer the bearded star:

Susa, Siena, Boeotia, Eretria,

The great one of Rome will die, the night over.

And allegedly old Nostra isn’t alone: It is the writings of Saint Malachy, an archbishop of the 1100s, which definitively states this will be the pope of the end times.

A Benedictine monk claimed to have discovered in 1595 a collection of the Saint's papers where he had purportedly secretly written down 112 brief but vague prophecies. Each is associated with the reign of an individual pope.

 

The last phrase applies to Pope Francis:

Verse 112:

"In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people.

The End." 

I wish.... 

East to the land of many people and even more fakes

 

A new product has hit China’s market –- fake walnuts.

Reports claim that vendors put small portions of cement inside the shells and glue them together –- making them look like real walnuts. In addition, the cement is wrapped in paper to avoid unnecessary movement and noise the cement might make when displayed or checked by shoppers.

“The Ministry of Tofu,” a Chinese news source, reports:

“Mr. Li bought 2.5 kilos of walnuts from a street vendor in Zhengzhou city, Henan province on February 15. After he got home and cracked open some of them, he found that inside the walnuts were broken concrete chunks. In order to reap more profit vendors cracked open walnuts that had thin husks, took out the nutmeat and put concrete nuggets inside, then sealed the husk with glue. To prevent the concrete nuggets from knocking on their husks and making noise, the counterfeiters wrapped them with paper.”

Nutty...

West to the home of Numptys and the land of big things 

(apart from the bleedin video)

 

A video of a man jumping into a puddle - only to find it is as deep as he is tall - is going viral online.

The clip starts with the man preparing to leap into a frozen puddle in a supermarket car park in the US.

To his apparent surprise, he ends up completely submerged as the cameraman keels over in hysterics.

The video has notched up more than 1.3million views on YouTube but some users expressed doubts whether it was genuine.

One asked: "So why is there a four feet deep hole in a parking lot?"

 

Why not?

 

And talking of holes

Still in the US of A; a golfer has had to be rescued from a sinkhole that swallowed him up at an Illinois fairway.

Mark Mihal was with three friends playing the 14th hole at Annbriar Golf Course near Waterloo last Friday.

But when the 43-year-old's buddies looked round he was nowhere to be seen. 

They heard him moaning and followed the noise back to where he had been standing.

The pit that swallowed him up turned out to be 18ft deep and 10ft wide.

A ladder brought from the clubhouse was too short and Mark only had the use of one arm to pull himself up. 

Wonder if he found his ball? 

 

That’s it: I’m orf to mine the moat-just in case 

And today’s thought:

 

 

Angus