Clone “B” goes Maggie: Green and unpleasant bills: Rubbish council: Fossil surfing: Paper boy gets Voldrmorts’s goat: and diving pigs.

Lots of scrapey, scrapey stuff on the Honda, even more solar stuff, not a cough of atmospheric movement and a dribble of condensed skywater at the Castle this morn, the saga of the study is finally coming to an end-just a few more trips to the “recycling centre” a dash of furniture movement and I can close the door on the bleedin place.

As the wevver was clement-ish yesterday I took a day orf and went somewhere nice for a while, I must remember to take the camera next time.

And his Maj has discovered the top of the kitchen cupboards.

 

Somewhere in the alternative universe known only to politicians

Clone “B” has apparently had a psychotic break and thinks that he is Margaret (I fucked up Blighty good and proper) Thatcher, and is allegedly trying to emulate her appeal as a "conviction politician" at the next general election.

The Ed Mili-band compared his call for an end to the "irresponsible capitalism" resulting from the political consensus since the Thatcher era with the former prime minister's economic reforms following the 1978-79 "winter of discontent".

And reckons that in his quest for radical change, he was inspired by his late father, Ralph Miliband, a Marxist academic.

 

Make your fucking mind up Tosspot...

 

And all across buggered Blighty

According to “Power firms” a new government “green” charge will add significantly to household energy bills, the energy industry has accused ministers of underestimating the impact on households of its Energy Company Obligation (ECO) rules.

They will force companies to provide energy efficiency technology and home improvements to low-income households and others considered to be at risk of fuel poverty.

The scheme, due to start next year, will oblige firms to fund expensive modifications including cavity wall insulation.

Energy firms say ministers have understated the costs of the work, which will be recouped from other customers.

Energy UK, which represents the industry, is expected to publish a report by independent economic consultants suggesting the scheme will add as much as £50 to the average household bill.

That contradicts assurances from the Department for Energy and Climate Change, which is insisting that the changes will not mean additional costs for consumers.

 

Thanks a lot chaps: pot calling the kettle black? More like the kettle calling the kettle a kettle....

 

Up Norf-ish

Council staff have removed a litter bin - after installing it around seven feet in the air attached to a bus stop sign in London Road, Stoke on Wednesday afternoon.

 

Don’t know why she is bothering, that Kiddly will never fit in the slot....

 

Left over the big, not quite so windy thing on the left and West even more

Some surfers made a discovery near Santa Cruz, Calif., yesterday, when they found what looked to be a fossilized row of vertebrae jutting out of some rocks during an "extremely low tide."

Apparently the bones are from an “extinct” Whale.

One surfer, Reddit user "Donkahones," snapped a picture of the old bones and uploaded it to the social news site with the light-hearted headline, "So I went surfing and saw a dinosaur."

 

Oh har-har-har, I almost started laughing...

 

East a bit

 

14-year-old Jason Gessel was cycling along throwing papers into front gardens on his routine paper route when he was viciously attacked by Voldemort, the 18-month-old neighbourhood fainting goat In Smithfield, Utah.

Voldemort forced Gessel off his bike by head butting him, and then trampled him with his hooves.

“”It just freaked me out when it stood up on its hind legs and just wrapped its front legs around me and pulled me off,’” recounted Gessel.

The paperboy managed to get away but was then chased up a tree by Voldemort where he remained until being rescued by local police.

 

Should have gone-BOO!!!

 

And finally:

 

East even more to the place where land rovers will come from

According to Huang Demin a farmer in Guanshan village, Ningxiang County, in China’s Huang Province encouraging his pigs to dive headfirst into a pond each day makes them taste better.

And reckons that his diving pigs also bring visitors flocking to his farm. He built a 10ft tall wooden diving board close to his pigsty so his livestock can enjoy a dive into the pond every day.

He thinks it makes the animals grow healthier and faster - and says they love it, although some of them need a gentle nudge.

And Huang says their aquatic antics improve their flavour so much he is able to charge three times the price of normal pork for their meat.

 

No wonder bacon is so bleedin dear....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to connect my left handed brain cell to my cursor

 

And today’s thought:

Maggie Miliband.

 

 

Angus

Fox hole: Oil be empty: Doped goats: Crap mobiles: Cat in a van: and Sky high sack.

 Clear, calm and very, very cold at the Castle this morn, his Maj is curled up on my lap instead of tearing around the garden and the study is still half full of expiring do-dads.

 

And talking of things computerised

I see that India's recently launched Aakash is the world's cheapest touch-screen tablet computer - with an off-the-shelf price of about $60. 

You gets what you pays for

And Mr/Dr/the right hon. Liam Fox has finally done the decent thing and buggered orf,

Allegedly the Defence Secretary had personally asked a City financier to bankroll his unofficial adviser.

Foxy Liam announced that he was resigning after detailed disclosures showed Mr Werritty’s activities were funded by companies and individuals that potentially stood to benefit from Government decisions.

Within an hour of Dr Fox stepping down, the venture capitalist Jon Moulton, who provided money for Mr Werritty, said the Defence Secretary had asked him to give cash to his friend’s firm. It is understood that an investigation into Dr Fox’s dealings with Mr Werritty by Sir Gus O’Donnell, the Cabinet Secretary, had concluded that his position was untenable.

Better late than never, but I look forward to seeing Sir/Dr Liam Fox in the Lords next year.....

According to “experts”

The end of oil is coming sooner than governments and oil companies are prepared to admit.

The assessment, based on officially reported figures, has once again pushed back the estimate of when the world will run dry.

However, scientists led by the London-based Oil Depletion Analysis Centre, say that global production of oil is set to peak in the next four years before entering a steepening decline which will have massive consequences for the world economy and the way that we live our lives.

According to "peak oil" theory our consumption of oil will catch, then outstrip our discovery of new reserves and we will begin to deplete known reserves.

BP's Statistical Review of World Energy, published yesterday, appears to show that the world still has enough "proven" reserves to provide 40 years of consumption at current rates.

Well; oil be buggered.......

Over in the land of the Capra hircus and the home of dope tests

Colorado officials have disqualified the grand champion goat from this year's State Fair because they say it tested positive for an unapproved drug.

The Pueblo Chieftain reported Friday (http://bit.ly/r2l4oQ) that a second goat entered by another child from the same family also was disqualified for the same drug.

Susan Weinroth of Sedalia says the family got a letter from the attorney general's office saying her family's goats tested positive for a feed additive approved for swine but not goats.

She suspects the food may have been tampered with and says the family reported their suspicions to officials. She says the family will appeal.

Disqualification means her daughter and son can't collect their earnings from the sale of the goats, $5,500 for the champion and $1,300 for the other.

Dopey pair.....

Back in Blighty

One in six cell phones in Britain may be contaminated with faecal matter that can spread E. coli, likely because so many people don't wash their hands properly after using the toilet, a new study contends.

The findings also suggest that many people lie about their hygiene habits, according to the researchers at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine and Queen Mary, University of London.

The study authors went to 12 cities and collected 390 samples from the cell phones and hands of volunteers, who were also asked about their hand-washing habits.

Ninety-five percent of the participants told the researchers that they washed their hands with soap and water where possible. However, lab tests revealed that 92 percent of phones and 82 percent of hands had bacteria on them. The researchers also found that 16 percent of hands and 16 percent of cell phones harboured E. coli bacteria, which is found in faeces and can cause serious illness.

The study was released to coincide with Global Handwashing Day on Oct. 15.

Moral- never borrow someone else’s Mobile....

Back in the States

A mechanic was the one doing the surgery at an Ohio animal facility when a woman drove in with a cat stuck behind her minivan's dashboard.

WBNS-TV reports the mechanic had to take apart the dash during a three-hour rescue operation Thursday in the Columbus suburb of Hilliard.

Driver Nehal Dhruve says she hit the cat with her van and decided to take it to the local humane society. The brown and black cat wouldn't stay on the van's seat but instead hopped down and climbed up under the dashboard.

Mechanic Daryl McKay cut his hands trying to free the feline, so an animal control staffer with smaller hands took over and pulled it out.

Dhruve says she now wants to adopt the cat.

After it has paid for the work.......

And finally: 

Back in Blighty

Construction workers who recreated a classic photo by posing on a girder 800ft above London may be fired for their stunt, the photographer claims.

Mick Crompton persuaded 11 of his friends to pose on the 48th floor of the Heron Tower with newspapers, doughnuts and a can of cider.

He hoped to recreate the famous 1930s image of steel workers on a lunch break as they built the RCA Building at New York's Rockefeller Centre.

But bosses are said to have taken exception to the 61-year-old's artistic efforts and have now warned the 'models' they could face disciplinary action.

It is claimed the workers breached health and safety rules by sitting sideways on the beam rather than straddling it.

Ah; the old Elfandsafety straddling ploy.....

That’s it: I’m orf to stock up on Nanotubes.

And today’s thought: If everything is relative . . . what is everything else?

Angus

Non Councils: Dear Nitrogen: Pension Dockers: Killer cyclists: Goat of a night: Pulling the plug on religion: and Lots and lots of Lego.

‘Tis yet another spiffing spot of clement weather at the Castle this morn, I did think about hedging the hedges, bordering the borders, shrubbing the shrubs and clearing out the shed, evicting the eight legged hairy buggers and servicing the mower, but the sun lounger called to me with a siren’s voice and I succumbed.

On the plus side I did get to watch the F1 race and very exciting it was as well, already been to Tesco and stocked up on gruel and stale bread and I am now awaiting the first phone call of the week from a desperate user wanting their fix.

It seems that austerity doesn’t apply to Councils

The first survey of local authorities since the coalition came to power last May has found that town halls created more than 4,000 new posts during the period.

Despite the public sector being told to make sweeping cuts, councils have advertised for posts such as "woodfuel development officer", "new media staff" and "healthy workplace coordinators".

The findings come as councils are under unprecedented financial pressure and try to cut costs by increasing charges, cutting basic services and closing facilities such as libraries.

The research shows that in total, 205 councils have created a total of 4,148 new posts since May 1 last year.

Most have reduced their overall staffing levels during the period but the study found that while doing so, many have continued to create brand new roles for "communications officers", "equality officers" and "climate change staff".

Councils have also recruited dozens of workers to enhance the "wellbeing" of staff and "customers", as well as "life skills" experts, who teach members of the public basic tasks such as ironing.

The figures also reveal a boom in such jobs as "walking coordinators", "obesity strategy officers", and "active" workers, whose job is to encourage the public to pursue more healthy lifestyles.

Ah, the good old public sector, less for us more for them, same old same old.

And talking of non jobs

A study by 200 European “experts” says reactive nitrogen contributes to air pollution, fuels climate change and is estimated to shorten the life of the average resident by six months.

Livestock farming is one of the biggest causes of nitrogen pollution, it adds.

It calls for changes in farming and more controls on vehicles and industry.

The problem would be greatly helped if less meat was consumed, the report says.

Nitrogen is the most common element in the atmosphere and is harmless.

It is the reactive form - mainly produced by human activity - that causes a web of related problems.

The 600-page report relies on experts from 21 countries and 89 organisations. It estimates the annual cost of damage caused by nitrogen across Europe as being £55-£280bn.

Nice to see a narrow cost band from the “experts”, and how much did the report cost?

In our warm and congested land

Many workers in final salary pension schemes, especially public sector employees, will have their state pension docked, under plans being considered by Piss Poor Policies Dave C’s “Government”.

They will receive £2.40 a week less from the state, a discount equating to £125 a year.

The Department for Work and Pensions announced last week its proposal to create a single state pension of £140 a week, in a bid to end Britain's notoriously complicated pension system, which involves a basic and a second state pension.

However, in the consultation document published by the DWP, it makes clear that it is considering docking many workers' state pension, including nearly all those paid out to public sector workers. They could, for decades, receive £137.60, while the majority of retirees will be enjoying state pensions of £140 a week.

My head hurts……..

Still in Blighty

From the Daily Flail-Ministers are considering introducing a new offence of causing death by dangerous cycling.

It would mean cyclists who kill or seriously hurt pedestrians would be prosecuted in the same way as drivers.

A Bill is to be presented by Tory MP Andrea Leadsom, who has campaigned on behalf of a family whose teenage daughter was killed by a reckless cyclist.

Rhiannon Bennett, 17, was walking with friends in Buckingham in April 2007 when cyclist John Howard approached the group at speed, yelling, Move! I’m not stopping!”

He was travelling so fast the group had no time to act. He hit Rhiannon and knocked her over, and she smashed her head against the kerb.

She was taken to hospital with head injuries and died six days later.

Magistrates later convicted Howard, then 36, of Buckingham, of dangerous cycling and fined him £2,200.

By comparison a motorist convicted of causing death by dangerous driving faces a maximum penalty of 14 years in jail.

I’ll sign up to that, I nearly had a pedalling Numpty this morn, I was coming up to a roundabout, was in the left lane indicating to turn left and pulling out when speedy knobhead who was doing about thirty on his “racing” bike came storming up the inside and cut across the Rover to turn right.

Make em take a test, pay insurance and tax and have a mental MOT every year.

Dahn in Surrey

A stolen goat taken on a pub crawl caused chaos when the thieves let it off the leash after being refused service.

Police and the RSPCA were called to the pub in Horley, Surrey, after it butted customers. Pub manager Steve Lea said: “It was a bit surreal. It was a first.”

You should come to 'Ampshire Steve, any amount of smelly animals in the pubs here.

East a fair bit

The tomb of Moses Maimonides, one of Judaism's pre-eminent sages, has been plunged into darkness because of a debt to the electricity company totaling $11,500.

Rabbi Israel Deri, one of the managers of the site in the Galilee city of Tiberias, admitted Wednesday that the bill "fell between the cracks." As a result, the tomb — where people come to pray around the clock — is now closed to night visitors.

A spokeswoman for the Israel Electric Corporation, Orna Vagman, said the company "had no other choice but to disconnect the electricity" at the site because of a debt accrued over "many months."

Seems that the light of religion is a bit dim.

And finally:

West even more

In the land of funny “hair” cuts-Six thousand Lego lovers and a crane create the world's largest Lego tower in Sao Paulo.

The tower composed 500,000 Lego pieces and reached 102 feet and 3 inches, breaking the previous record set in Chile last year.

It took four days to build and was held in place by wire supports to prevent it from toppling over in the wind.

The first Lego tower was built in London in 1988, since then Toronto, Moscow, Sydney, Tokyo and Munich have been among the cities which have held the title.

Why?

That’s it: I’m orf to count my bluebells-one so far.

And today’s thought: "What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary" - Mark Twain.

Angus