SUNDAY SECTION 1

A bit late today, I overslept, ignored the alarm and was woken by the cat (I love my pussy) biting my nose, which she obviously thought was a sausage (she loves sausages); I have managed to stem the blood loss and with plaster on nose will attempt to write something vaguely intelligent-ish.

Jade Goody prepares for wedding and good luck to the girl. I hope she has the best day of her very short life, she has shown courage and strength, and deserves a bit of happiness.


Children out late 'unacceptable' this is from BBC News, it seems that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith says it is unacceptable for parents not to know what their children are up to at night.

She was speaking after police in 27 council areas in England picked up and returned 120 youngsters late on Friday.

Police spotted scores of teenagers who were drunk, abusing drugs or had nowhere to stay.

They encountered large groups behaving anti-socially, and children being out far too late without an adult.

Ms Smith said Operation Staysafe had highlighted the role parents must play to alleviate the problems.

Haven’t we been saying this for years? I am sure that Labour is in a different time line to the rest of us.


BBC NEWS UK Brown signals 100% mortgages curb I have made a small comment on this on Angus Dei politico (bit of unadulterated advertising)


From Ananova- A church school teacher asked a class of ten-year-olds to write down the rudest words they know.

Parents were horrified when their children returned home with exercise books littered with expletives.

Teacher Fred Laband asked pupils to write a list of hurtful words commonly levelled at the victims of bullying and classify them from 'really upsetting' to 'harmless'.

They came up with obscenities including four letter words, reports the Daily Mail.

Many of the terms were displayed on a board in front of the class at Great and Little Shelford Church of England Primary in Great Shelford, near Cambridge.

In a letter to parents, headmistress Alison Evans said: "On reflection, it has been agreed that it was inappropriate to record these words in writing and the pages have been removed (from exercise books)."

Alastair MacGregor, chairman of the governors, said: "We deeply regret this happened. We are investigating what happened, and are taking appropriate disciplinary action, but I cannot comment on what."

Let’s hope that the teacher’s resignation note doesn’t say “F**K OFF”

Also from Ananova - DVD thief went back for remote a thief in China was caught when he returned to the scene of his crime to collect the remote control for the DVD player he had stolen earlier. But the thief was allowed to go free - when police officers ruled the £100 DVD player was not valuable enough for them to press charges.

And we think we have troubles!

And finally from Ananova - Teen thief picks on wrong pensioner a thief picked on the wrong victim when she tried to run off with the handbag of a former championship sprinter.

The schoolgirl was surprised to discover her victim still had a turn of pace - at the age of 72.
Jean Hirst had allowed three teenage girls into her car to help with directions after getting lost in Long Eaton, Derbyshire.

Mrs Hirst, from Mansfield, said: "Suddenly I felt 18 again. The adrenaline just kicked in and I seemed to turn back the years.

"She had a head start but I covered 70 yards in about 15 seconds and was within two strides of her when she looked over her shoulder and saw me.

"She probably thought I was an easy target but she shouldn't have judged a book by its cover. The look on her face was one of sheer amazement and she just threw my bag aside."

Mrs Hirst stopped and picked up the bag which she said contained her "whole life", including purse, keys and address book.

A nice bit of “grey” justice, but just a hint don’t let people you don’t know into your car or your house.

“In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls.” Lenny Bruce

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

THE NEW WORLD

Still feel as though I’ve been run over by a truck, but here goes.



From the BBC:

IBM is about to start research on a new computer. The circuits will mimic the brain, it’s called “cognitive computing” and they are hoping to produce something with the level of a cats’ brain.

Two things I don’t like about this:

The word “cognitive” gives me the willies : To be, to be CBT, or to be CCBT or even to watch CBBC.

And:

What firkin use is a computer with the “brain” of a cat, the bloody thing will spend all day chasing the mouse (I love my pussy).






From Auntie Financial giant A Darling is about to “expose” his pre-budget report, and the nice kind man is probably going to give us tax cuts and more public spending.

All very nice, the “chancellor” thinks that this will stimulate the economy, and everything will be hunky dory again.

What a load of bollocks, what got us in this firkin mess in the first place was “Ali and Gord” playing monopoly with our money, the downside of these “nice bits” is, that in a year or so Ali will hit us with tax rises and cuts in public spending, to make back the £100 BILLION that he has borrowed.

Tax cuts don’t help the millions of pensioners because they don’t pay tax, tax cuts don’t help the sick or the unemployed because THEY don’t pay tax.

So whom will it help? It is aimed at those “on lowest incomes, partly because they have the highest propensity to spend - for the good of the economy - and also for reasons of social justice."

So, Ali and Gord think that giving a few quid a week to people on the minimum wage who are struggling with paying the bills now will enable them to rush out and spend it “all” and kick-start the economy.

What firkin world are they living in, it’s OK if you are getting £150,000 a year, you can probably ride it out but, please, Ali you have as much chance of that working as you have of being Chancellor after the next election.



1984 is here (nearly), from the BEEB -£1,000 fine for wrong ID details. One of the Govs’ other brainwaves the ID card is about to crawl out from under its rock.

“Identity cards for foreign nationals will be issued from next week, with the first cards being issued to British citizens at the end of next year in a pilot project for airside workers at Manchester and London City airports.”


“The document reveals that most people will have to pay more for ID cards than the £30 fixed fee previously discussed when large scale issuing of cards begins in 2011 or 2012.
Fines will also apply if cardholders fail to report their cards lost or stolen, and will be enforceable by the civil courts.”

“Homeless people wanting ID cards may be able to give their home address as a bench, bus stop or park where they are often found.”

What?

But this is the best bit-“ But providing false information, tampering with the register, giving out people's data without authorisation and holding false ID documents will be a criminal offence.

Anyone found guilty of unauthorised disclosure of information on the national identity register or an ID card application, would face up to two years in prison, while anyone found guilty of hacking into the ID database could be jailed for up to 10 years.”

They don’t need to hack into the system you stupid plonkers; the bloody Government is losing our data faster than it can make up excuses.

Mind you if they put the Gov in nick for ten years at least we will have some peace for a while.


That’s all for today, part two of “our first cars” will be up tomorrow, I hope.

Angus

SOMETHING A BIT LIGHTER

Yesterday was a bad day, so today I thought, “lets try to be a bit happier”, and so I have scanned the web for some “uplifting” stories.

There is this from the Sun-Hitler HAD only got one ball, after 63 years the truth is out, Adolf Hitler DID only have one ball, the other is not “hanging in the Alert Hall” but was shot off during a battle of the Somme in 1916.

It was just a shame that whoever shot him didn’t aim one foot higher.

Russel Brands new position in life.

This is also from the Sun, Russell “no brains” Brand has dropped himself in the “doo” again, by making a joke about “groping the Queen” while he is in the USA.

What is the matter with this Pratt? As I said before “he is about as funny as shoving a Pineapple up your arse”-Angus Dei on all and sundry: Ross and Brand

Does anyone know if there is a spare cell in Guantanamo Bay?

Will someone please talk to this pillock and tell him to keep his mouth shut and find a job as a toilet cleaner.

And yet again from the Sun the latest from “I’m a celeb’”

I don’t normally watch these types of show, and true to form I haven’t watched this one either. But the thought of Kilroy Silk in the jungle gives me a sense of satisfaction; I believe that the public vote on who should stay or go.

So a plea to the public, Please, Please keep voting to keep Silk in the jungle.

A) To make him suffer for as long as possible and:
B) So that he can get a proper suntan and throw the bottles of wood stain away.


From the Express, a cat that clung onto a train for 100 miles, this little cat managed to survive a 100-mile journey across the Pennines clinging to a small ledge on the underside of a freight train wagon.

I don’t know, bloody fare evaders. (I love my pussy)

And finally also from the Express, Mouth almighty “Macca” has to get the permission of George Harrison’s widow Olivia to agree to release the so called “lost Beatles track”.

Yet another appeal, please Olivia don’t do it, a) because “Macca” has more money than he knows what to do with, and b) I heard the track when it was “played” 40 years ago and it is crap.


Angus