Bathfuls of sky water, bothersome atmospheric movement,
blissful amounts of lack of warm and bugger all solar stuff at the Castle this
morn, following yestermorn’s battle with the Giant Flying Freudian Penis and
tethering it dahn to the patio I was kept awake by wet stuff dripping on it all
night.
Still watching updates being “installed” on the “new”
desktop and have just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food
and “Dreamies” run dahn Tesco.
Apparently the Mayor of the Smoke has begun a six-day tour
of India to promote business links.
He said the UK could no longer rely on the colonial
sentiments of the past as it seeks to build new business links with India.
Boris Johnson said to simply rely on India's
history with the UK "simply didn't cut the mustard".
BJ began his tour visiting the Akshardham Hindu temple,
before heading to India Gate, in Delhi.
He was greeted by
monks with a garland of rose petals and the traditional kanku - with the red
dot daubed on his forehead.
But a bemused
Indian local mistook him for Wimbledon legend Boris Becker.
Akash Bharadia, 18,
who is spending his gap year volunteering at the temple, said: "One of the
locals shouted out it was Boris Becker while some people asked whether he was
the King of England.
Nah: It’s the king of cock-ups; there goes any hope of trade
with the sub Continent.
Son of a B.....aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I
enjoyed the sus anal bum party) Osborne is so bleedin bad at his attempts
to do his job that he may have to raise VAT to 25% to balance the budget.
Weak economic growth and lower than expected tax payments
have left a hole in the Chancellor’s plans that may need to be filled by higher
taxes or further cuts to public spending, the Institute for Fiscal Studies
said.
Even under the most “optimistic” forecast, the Chancellor
will miss his target for debt to fall between 2015 and 2016 and should abandon
the goal, the IFS said.
But a more pessimistic assessment suggests that Mr Osborne
will also fail to achieve his key “fiscal mandate”, which is to balance the
budget within five years, the IFS said.
If the current weak growth and low tax receipts are
permanent, the Chancellor will need another £23 billion of tax rises or
spending cuts to be on course to meet his mandate by 2018, the report said.
The think-tank said this would be “roughly equivalent to
increasing the main rate of VAT from 20 per cent to 25 per cent”, or imposing
even deeper welfare cuts than announced so far.
Nice work you useless twonk...
Cadbury’s scientists have come up with a new kind of
chocolate that stays solid in the most sweltering temperatures.
The newly invented Dairy Milk bars can remain in
boiling temperatures of up to 104 degrees for more than three hours before even
starting to soften up
Engineers at the
Cadbury’s research and development plant in Bourneville have set out their
revolutionary technique for making the ‘temperature tolerant chocolate’ in an
8,000 word patent application.
The secret to the
new bars is a change in the so-called 'conching step' - where a container
filled with metal beads grinds the ingredients, which usually include cocoa
butter, vegetable oils, milk and sugar.
Scientists has
developed a way of breaking down sugar particles into smaller pieces, reducing
how much fat covers them and making the bar more resistant to heat
With our wevver I don’t think it will make much difference....
A Dundee man is facing court accused of “recklessly
producing household electricity” with a bizarre homemade transformer, a court
heard today.
Charles McKenzie is
alleged to have rigged up a “dangerous transformer assembly” at his flat in
Dundee’s Dudhope Court.
It is alleged he
“culpably and recklessly” produced electricity “with total disregard for the
safety of yourself and others”.
Fiscal depute Laura
Bruce said: “The Crown’s position is that he had this man-made assembly in his
house suspended from the ceiling by thin ropes.
“There was a car
battery and cans of petrol nearby.”
Shocking....
There are creatures called Tardigrades which were put
out into open vacuum space and solar radiation for ten days, and survived.
Some of the ones that died managed to mysteriously resurrect themselves
Commonly known as waterbears or moss piglets they are small,
water-dwelling, segmented animals with eight legs. They form the phylum Tardigrada,
and part of the superphylum Ecdysozoa. It's an ancient group, with fossils dating from 530
million years ago, in the Cambrian period. The first Tardigrades were
discovered by Johann August Ephraim Goeze in 1773.
Since 1778, over 500 new tardigrade species have been found.
Usually, Tardigrades are 1mm when they are fully grown. They
are short and plump with 4 pairs of poorly articulated lobopodial
limbs. Each limb has 4-8 claws also known as disks. Tardigrades all possess a buccopharyngeal
membrane apparatus, which, along with the claws, are used to differentiate the
different species. Tardigrades are covered in cuticle which
contains chitin
and protein.
Knew there would be a snag....
And finally:
Family and teachers thought 7-year-old Hector Flores Jr. of
New York was playing a trick on them when they heard him making a squeaking
sound.
Turns out, the boy had swallowed a whistle from his plastic
toy duck nearly a month ago.
His family took him to the emergency room and doctors were
able to remove the whistle piece from Hector's lung.
Quackers....
And today’s thought:
Blighty export
Angus
