Just a whimsy of atmospheric movement, nary a spot
of skywater, and much lack of cold and dawns crack has gone away at the castle
this morn.
I spent yesterday in the warm embrace of the NHS, I
was woken at 4am by excruciating pain in the right plum, had to wait till 8am
to phone the GP surgery, spent another ten minutes waiting to speak to the
receptionist, explained (between screams) about said plum and was given an
appointment at 10.40 am.
Then discovered that
the road to the Aldershot Elf Centre (hospital Hill) was closed so set orf on a
three mile diversion along the Farnborough road and dahn Queens Avenue which
didn’t do the painful plum much good.
Arrived at 10.30 and
used the Tablet thingy to book in which informed me that the doctor was running
19 minutes late. By 11.10 realised that the Tablet thingy tells lies and the right
plum was now throbbing decided to stand up and walk around a bit, my seat was
immediately taken by a “teenager” who seemed to be surgically attached to her
phone, by 11.20 with painful legs and throbbing plum my name came up on the
screen.
Waited outside the doctor’s
room for five minutes before being called in by to my surprise a very
attractive young female doctor, explained to said attractive young female
doctor about plum which by now had run away and hidden itself.
Young attractive female
doctor asked if she could examine said plum (and as it would be discourteous to
say no) I dropped ‘em and laid dahn on the slab table.
Examination over
(shame) young attractive female doctor started looking up Torsion and Testicle
on the interweb and seemed quite concerned, and then mentioned the dreaded
words-Grimly Dark ‘Orspital.
I was sent back out to
wait while the young attractive female doctor finished her surgery and then
went back in to be given a letter to take to A and E, it was now 12.20pm.
Set orf and arrived at
Grimly Dark at 12.45pm, got my parking ticket from the robot with the
barrier and spent ten minutes driving round and round, and round in the pitch
black till I finally found a space (right at the back) as far away from the ‘Orspital
as possible, staggered to A and E, waited for another ten minutes in the queue
and handed my letter to the non smiling receptionist.
Waited another ten
minutes while she read said letter then handed it to a non smiling nurse who made a phone call to the Surgical
Assessment Unit and told me to take a seat (still non smiling).
A while later (the pain
had deprived me of sense of time) said non smiling nurse called me over and told
me to report to SAU which I did.
Arrived at SAU and was
greeted by yet another non smiling receptionist who scrutinised my plum letter
and told me to take a seat.
Twenty minutes later
(there was a clock opposite where I was sitting) a young not so attractive but
smiling male doctor came in and took me to a room, where he proceeded to examine
now disappeared plum, asked many many questions about urination and sex and
then proceeded to shove his finger up my rear exit in a vain search for my
prostate.
He decided it was not testicle
torsion but an infection (pleased about that) but there would have to be blood
tests done, it was now about 2.30 pm.
He told me to go and
have something to eat and come back in an hour for the blood test results.
Staggered to the main
entrance and purchase a turkey salad roll and a diet (no sugar no calories)
coke £4.50 and retreated to the motor, the pain was now so bad that I had to stand
to eat it.
Went back to SAU an
hour and ten minutes later told non smiling receptionist I was there and took a
seat.
Half an hour later not
so attractive but smiling young male doctor appeared, checked the blood test
results and said that it was an infection and that I could go home after I went
to the pharmacy to get my antibiotics.
Limped about half a
bloody mile to the pharmacy handed in the prescription to the non smiling
receptionist who then asked me, did I pay for my prescriptions? My date of
birth my name and what other drugs do I take.
I don’t know if anyone
out there has had a raging plum infection but it is not conducive to a clear
mind mine by the way was blank.
Given a number (71) and
was told to sit, thirty minutes later my number appeared on the screen saying “collect
at counter” under a sign which said “when your prescription is ready at the
counter remain seated until called”?
Ten minutes later I was
“called” to the counter and spent another ten minutes listening to a smiling
young man explain many things about my antibiotics which went straight in one
ear and out the other.
Finally left the
pharmacy and limped another couple of hundred yards to the exit, another
hundred to the Pay Machine thingy and queued for another ten minutes to pay for
the parking.
Limped another hundred
yards to the motor, spent ten minutes queuing to leave the car park and finally
escaped from Grimly Dark £5.50 lighter.
Got home at about 5.pm
took an antibiotic, a couple of painkillers and went to bed which is where I
still am and will remain until the festering plum has stopped throbbing.
The butler can earn his keep...for once.
Conclusion:
Pleased with the very
attractive young female GP, pleased with the not so attractive young male
doctor, not so pleased with the non smiling receptionists and nurses, bloody
disgusted with the car parking charges.
The SAU could do with a
lick of paint but the Grimly Dark non medical staff could do with a jump start
to their demeanour, a bit of humanity, a smidgen of humour and I know that they
have a stressful job and are overwhelmed but how would they like to treated
when they are in pain and not feeling their best?
Surprisingly satisfied
with my day in the NHS.
Angus
