Olympic adieu: Silly Billy rules Blighty: Badger burglar: No sand in Llandudno: and Hanging out in Oxfordshire.

Lots of lack of warm, low wispy stuff obscuring the blue stuff, not a whimsy of solar stuff and a definite lack of wet stuff at the Castle this non-Olympic morn.

Been up in Cheltenham for the weekend, just got back, his Maj was so pleased to see me that he bit me...

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco and checked out how much prices have risen since Thursday, they have...and his Maj has discovered the joy of hiding hard things in my shoes.

The sun has finally set over the five ring circus up in the Smoke

Some French bloke and a Ginger headed squaddy opened the old “entertainment”. 

And the “old” line up of “celebs” did their thing-

Del boy’s old motor exploded, sadly before the bang went orf.

We had the joy of old George Michael (who allegedly was given a whole car park to himself in order to minimise damage when he arrived in his motor).

Then old madness appeared to give us a rather quivering rendition of “our ‘ouse”.

The old Kinks did their “waterloo sunset” which I quite enjoyed.

A snatch of old (no more) Freddie Mercury, a bit of old (no more) John Lennon, some oldish Kaiser Chiefs doing the Who, some sort of fashion parade, no longer banned old Russell Brand pretending to be a walrus, an old DJ, and then five bottles of old Spice being transported on the top of unused London taxis.

Somewhere in this eclectic mix the real old WHO managed to ditch their Zimmer frames and do a song.

My second fave moment was old Eric Idle who gave us a snippet of Monty Python including some skating nuns, Morris dancers and quite a lot of people from the sub continent throwing stuff all over the old boy, followed by a youngish “rock band” who played some quite depressing ‘music’.

Then my very fave bit-old Brian May and old Rodger Taylor were joined by young Jessie J who looked very nice in not much at all and did “we will rock you”.

And if you click on the video above you will see the pride of the British Lions doing Queens “don’t stop me”.

Who says that Blighty isn’t a young, go getting technologically superior Coalition....?

And while the many, many visitors queue up at Heathrow for hours and hours to leave Blighty

U-Turn Cam and what’s his name have buggered orf on holiday after two weeks of free Olympic tickets and left Silly Billy Hague in charge.

Apparently U-Turn has gorn somewhere nobody is allowed to know about and what’s his name has gorn to Spain to the parents of his Spanish wife, Miriam.

That’s us stuffed then-another war in the Middle East?

A new chance for the unemployed

The Ministry of Justice is considering setting up call centres in prisons to increase prisoner work opportunities.

The plan is "one thing that could be considered" as part of efforts to make prisoners more employable when they finish their sentences.

No call centres are currently being run in prisons, but ministers are not ruling out such a scheme in the future.

Inmates already carry out a range of paid tasks including laundry services and printing.

The government wants to "transform prisons into industrious places of productive work" and make a 40-hour working week the norm. 

Sorry, it’s a new chance for criminals not the unemployed...

Left vast amounts of three feet and a bit to the land above the bit where the next big sporty thing is going to be held

A badger that wandered into a Reno-area retail store in northern Nevada dodged a tranquilizer dart and held authorities at bay for about an hour before being lured into a cage with cat food.

No one was hurt in the standoff at the bottled water/convenience store in a residential neighbourhood in Sparks, and the badger ultimately was returned to the wild north of Reno, Nevada Department of Wildlife spokesman Chris Healy said Wednesday.

"Apparently the door was open a bit and this badger just walked in," Healy told The Associated Press.

"Obviously, it was pretty hungry, because when they put the cat food in the trap, it went right in," he said.

Funny looking badger....

Dahn in Welsh Wales

North Shore beach in Llandudno was due to be the scene of a sancastle contest, which was scheduled to take place next week.

However, bosses have discovered there are far too many rocks and a large amount of seaweed covering the coastline, severely denting the potential of finding enough pure sand to compete effectively.

The annual event is organised by the Imperial Hotel and is a highlight of the summer in north Wales, typically attracting about 120 people.

Life’s a beach....

And finally:

Up a bit from dahn ‘ere in ‘Ampshire

A nude swim at Cornbury Park in Oxfordshire was the first of monthly meetings in scenic locations.

The venues will be kept secret until the last moment and only released to members of the Secret Swimming community.

The nude swim was also an attempt to break the record for the worlds largest skinny-dip

Note to self-join the Secret Swimming club.....

That’s it: I’m orf to stay awake for a long time-well; I can hope can’t I... 

And the last Olympic thought for today:

Thank thingy that’s over with.

Angus

Offensive U-Turn Cam: Dying to be sacked: Pippa’s Padded pants: Naked Numpty: and a Nude nut up a tree.

More than a whimsy of lack of liquid metal vertical distance at the Castle this morn, luckily there is an ample supply of fat teenagers for the furnace; no post yesterday after having a peruse of the internet thingy and even managing to leave one comment on a blog-the magic signals refused to travel down the BT line to my router and stayed that way until this morn.

But I did manage to visit “Ms” sister in the smoke on the first day of the weekend, the journey was “interesting”, fog, an accident on the three lane tarmac thing, detour to Twickenham where there was an oval ball to-do and the Lord Mayors parade made extra time on the tonk.

And, every time I went under an underpass my satnav lost its signal so as I came up to a roundabout with fifteen exits I had no clue as to which way to turn.

I eventually arrived and travelled the 16 floors on the stairway to heaven (lift) and spent a nice morn/afternoon chatting and looking at the view of the Thames, Kew gardens and the smoke through the fog from the back wall of the living room.

When I returned to the Castle there was a large envelope from the NHS on the mat, who have informed me that as I have now staggered over the official old farts line of sixty they will send me a Bowel Cancer test kit in two weeks-oh joy.

So while the Piss Poor Millionaires Club Coalition has left me devoid of a pot to piss in at least I will have one to poo in.....

Apparently a senior Tory MP is considering legal action after he was reported to have made a series of offensive comments about David Cameron.

Patrick Mercer allegedly described the Prime Minister as an “a---” who was incapable of making “a sensible decision”, and suggested that he would be forced out of Downing Street within months.

Mr Mercer, who represents the rural constituency of Newark in Nottinghamshire, has referred the matter to lawyers after claiming that his comments, allegedly made at a private party, had been obtained by “subterfuge”.

Conservative sources said the party was unlikely to take disciplinary action against Mr Mercer, whose critical views of Mr Cameron are well known.

“Arse”, that the best he can do-how about dickhead, wanker, tosser, rich bastard, inept, alien, waste of air arrogant prick.....

And NHS managers have been banned from rationing treatments while patients wait to die or go private after Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary, admitted that some hospitals were delaying operations.

It comes after a damning report found NHS trusts were “imposing pain and inconvenience” by making patients wait longer than necessary for treatments in order to save money.

It is feared health service bosses have artificially increased waiting times as a way of making savings for many years.

But the practice had become “endemic”, the NHS Co-operation and Competition Panel found, as the health service struggles to make savings worth £20 billion over four years.

Mr Lansley said in future NHS bosses could be sacked if it was found their organisation was using such tactics.

Why is it always Mañana with this bleeding Government, sack the bastards now.......        

 And for certain readers

There has been a rush on sales of padded pants to women who want to create for themselves the same sculpted behind as Pippa Middleton.

Department store Debenhams has created the £18.99 Invisible Shaping Bum Boosters which, it claims, adds two inches to the vital statistics of the wearer’s rear end and a whole 15 degrees of curvature.

At the store’s branch in the Ocean Terminal shopping centre in Leith, the pants have been flying off the shelves.

Discreet, cheek-enhancing structures built into the back of the lining give extra bulk and curvature to the wearer, turning a flat bottom into a competitor for rear of the year.

Control panels at the front also flatten the tummy to emphasise the effect, while invisible seams remove all outlines of the garment when worn underneath clothes.

Already got some, Boots call them incontinence pants.....

Dahn in Dorset

A man has been arrested after being rescued naked from the sea in Dorset.

Coastguards received reports of a man in the water in Poole Harbour off Poole Town Quay in the early hours of Saturday.

The town's inshore lifeboat was launched to help the man but when the crew pulled him from the water they discovered he was naked.

The man, who was not injured, was arrested by police on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly.

 Pickled Walnut comes to mind.

And finally:

Staying with the naked nut theme

A man has been arrested after police discovered him naked and up a nut tree.

The Salem authorities received several 911 reports of a man without any clothes roaming the area, KGW reports.

When they arrived in the early hours of Thursday morning, police captured the naked man in a Filbert orchard wearing only tennis shoes.

Stephen James Ellingsworth, 28, of Silverton, who also goes by the last name Frolov, was taken into custody and given a warm blanket due to the cold early morning temperature.

The man told investigators that he had been out drinking with his friends the night before and had no idea how he ended up naked in a nut orchard.

He was booked into the Marion County Jail on three counts of public indecency, with bail set at $15,000.

Hope he doesn’t have a Filbert allergy...

That’s it: I’m orf to book a flight to Japan. 

And today’s thought: Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man... Well, that explains the padded pants.

Angus