Clement-ish at the Castle this morn, no frosty stuff, no wet stuff and no windy stuff, mind you it is early. The kitchen is half full of broken computers, which will keep me off the streets for a while, and someone phoned up and asked if I would fix his broken IPad, the second word I uttered was “off”.
There was an unexpected flaming object in the sky yesterday, apparently it is called the Sun and was there all day (until it got dark), which prompted me to venture into what is laughingly called the garden……yep it’s still there.
Being Gaddafi disadvantaged, I was going to do a piece on Libya today, but to be honest I can’t be arsed, so if you are interested at all you can find out a bit about it Here and Here.
The Irritable Bowel Twins are “reforming” the pension system (again), Iain Duncan Smith- the work and pensions secretary indicated a move towards a flat-rate state pension, removing top-up payments for low earners who do not save.
The government would also ensure fairness for parents who take time off to raise their children, he said.
There is speculation the basic state pension could be set at £140 a week
So far so good-ish.
And, PPP Dave C has it seems (allegedly) appeared to change his position on whether or not to support the fat old Duke of York.
On Sunday, an anonymous source within No.10 said that there would be no “tears shed” if the Duke stood aside from his role as Britain’s trade ambassador. But yesterday morning the Prime Minister’s official spokesman insisted that the Government was “fully supportive” of his decision to stay on.
The spokesman added that ministers were not reviewing the Duke’s position, despite suggestions from within No.10 hours earlier that the Duke would have to stand down if more allegations emerged.
The assurances also appeared to contradict remarks by Vince Cable, the Business Secretary, whose department oversees the work of UK Trade & Investment (UKTI).
On Sunday, as increasingly damaging reports emerged about the Duke’s connections with Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire convicted paedophile; ministers appeared reluctant to defend the Duke.
Punched or bored? Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for the Pillocks.
Don't mess with the moose.
That's the warning police in Anchorage, Alaska, are repeating after one of the animals kicked a woman in the chest and shoulder at a city park. She was checked by medics Monday afternoon and didn't have to go to a hospital.
The Anchorage Daily News reports the moose had been in Town Square Park most of the day feeding on trees. The woman in her 20s was attacked when she tried to pet it.
Police spokeswoman Anita Shell says the moose is not a threat unless provoked, so people need to give it space.
You think?
A Montreal man is giving hope to bad dancers everywhere.
Researchers at the University of Montreal have discovered that it's not his fault he can never dance in time to music. His brain is incapable of recognizing rhythm.
"They hypothesize that the young man's beat deafness arises from disconnects in a widespread brain network involved in musical beat, rhythm and meter," according to the report in Science News.
But it doesn't seem to have any real-world downsides, much like the tone-deafness suffered by many.
This doesn’t help old us farts’ lack of terpsichorean adeptness, especially at weddings and parties one little bit.
Scientists believe a spider could lead to a breakthrough in sexual health after finding a single bite can cause a four hour erection.
Researchers at the Medical College of Georgia believe the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider could lead to a new cure for erectile dysfunction.
Dr Kenia Nunes, a physiologist at the college, said it works in a different way to Viagra, reports the Daily Mail.
"This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them," she said.
Her study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved experiments using hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction.
Her study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved experiments using hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction.
"The toxin was able to normalise the erectile dysfunction in these animals," said Dr Nunes.
However, further research is required.
Other side-effects can include loss of muscle control, severe pain, difficulty breathing and death.
Spot the snags………
Unlucky motorist Carl Nedic, 25, was driving through floodwater left by burst mains when he suddenly plunged into this gaping hole in the road.
Brother Chris, 23, who was in the passenger seat, said: “I thought I was a goner. We’re both lucky to be alive.”
Their dad Chris Snr, 54, rushed to the scene near Albrighton, Shrops, but fell into the water. He said: “The hole suddenly got bigger and the front wheels disappeared.” His sons had only minor injuries. Carl said: “I can’t believe the road was left open for so long. It could have ended in tragedy.”
That’ll take more than a bucket of tarmac to fill up.
Elephants quickly learn to work together to solve problems, according to researchers.
The giant mammals are socially complex, explained lead researcher Joshua Plotnik, of Cambridge University.
"They help others in distress," he said. "They seem in some ways emotionally attached to each other, so you would expect there would be some level of co-operation." However, he added: "I was surprised how quickly they learned."
Now “research” something we don’t know Joshua…
And finally:
Ladies sauntering.
That’s it: I’m orf for a big bang.
And today’s thought: Don't cry because it's over . . . smile because it happened.
Angus
