What a “fine” EU: Show me your Russian tats: Big, empty Nazi hotel: Stay away from Limpopo: Tractor beam: and Radio presenter has a swim while texting.

Bleedin cold, bothersome amounts of white fluffy/scrapey, scrapey stuff, not even a flatulent amount of atmospheric movement and less solar stuff than you could shake a bikini line at, at the Castle this morn, his Maj is keeping well away from the windows and the butler is feeding fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace faster than the GDP is falling.

 

After all the non promises from U-Turn Cam about the European community thingy

 

The EU has struck back, apparently the European Commission announced legal action against the UK Government for failing to honour an EU leaders' agreement in February 2011 to "complete" the internal energy market by transposing EU electricity and gas directives into UK law by March 3 2011.

Despite two warnings Britain has still failed to comply with two measures designed to open up energy competition for the benefit of the European energy sector and its consumers.

The Commission said it was now asking the European Court of Justice in Luxembourg to impose daily fines of 148.177 euro (£125,000) for each of the two directives which have only been partially transposed into domestic law.

 

That’ll help us decide....

 

East to the land that used to be Soviet, Socialist and a Republic

Allegedly the Russian Defence Ministry is attempting to clampdown on homosexuality with a new handbook that recommends recruits and contractors be checked for genital tattoos, like the image of a “face” on the recruit’s penis.

The Russian newspaper Izvestia on Thursday published details about how recruits would be given a thorough examination and face questioning about their sexual history.

Signs of “promiscuity” could indicate mental instability, addictive personality and suicidal tendencies, according to the documents.

“The reasons for tattooing may indicate a low cultural and educational level,” according a machine translation of the handbook provided by Google. “If set to the impact of external incentives, such as persuasion, direct coercion, it will be evidence of compliance of young men, his tendency to obey the will of another.”

The “knowledge of symbols tattoos help the officer the best way to organize work with a specific person. Particular attention should be paid to the tattoos on the face, on the genitals, buttocks. They can testify not only about certain personal settings, and possible sexual deviation.”

After the examination, authorities hope to determine if the recruit has a “tendency to perversion,” meaning homosexuality.

 

Does Eton allow tattoos?

 

Left a bit to the land that used to be ruler of most of Europe

Stretching for over three miles along the white sandy beach on Germany's Baltic Sea island of Ruegen lies the world’s biggest hotel with 10,000 bedrooms all facing the sea. But for 70 years since it was built, no holiday maker has ever stayed there. This is hotel Prora, a massive building complex built between 1936 and 1939 by the Nazis as part of their "Strength through Joy" ("Kraft durch Freude," KdF) programme. The aim was to provide leisure activities for German workers and spread Nazi propaganda. Locals call Prora the Colossus because of its monumental structure.

Prora lies on an extensive bay between the Sassnitz and Binz regions, known as the Prorer Wiek, on the narrow heath (the Prora) which separates the lagoon of the Großer Jasmunder Bodden from the Baltic Sea. The complex consists of eight identical buildings that extend over a length of 4.5 kilometres and are roughly 150 metres from the beach. A workforce of 9,000 took three years to build it, starting in 1936, and the Nazis had long-term plans for four identical resorts, all with cinema, festival halls, swimming pools and a jetty where Strength Through Joy cruise ships would dock.

 

Not a lot of happiness there, maybe Ex Nazi El Papa could buy it as a summer retreat.

 

Dahn a lot and right a whimsy

Fifteen thousand crocodiles are on the loose after escaping from a farm hit by flooding.

Residents have been warned to stay indoors as wildlife experts try to capture the man-eating beasts.

One was spotted on a school rugby pitch and others have been found trapped in branches of trees after the flood waters fell.

The alarm was raised when all 15,000 Nile crocs at the Rakwena farm in South Africa’s Limpopo province fled their pens which had been opened on Sunday to stop flood water crushing them.

They have since been spotted all over.

Farm boss Zane Langman said he has recaptured “a few thousand” of the reptiles in the dense bush around the property.

But he added: “More than half are still missing.”

Nile crocs can grow up to 16ft and reach speeds of 8mph when running and 22mph swimming.

Commercial crocodile farms breed the animals for their skin, which is used to make belts, shoes and bags.

There is also a small market for the meat but most often it is fed to other crocs, as they are cannibalistic.

Langman, who said it is easier to recapture the beasts at night as their eyes shine red in the dark, also told how he went to rescue friends in a flood-hit house.

“You wonder the whole time if you’ll make it there. When we reached the people, the crocodiles were swimming around them. Praise the Lord, the family was all alive.”

 

Fuck that......

 

Up Norf and right a fairway

A team of scientists has created a real-life miniature "tractor beam" - as featured in the Star Trek series - in a development which may lead to more efficient medical testing.

The microscopic beam - created by scientists from Scotland and the Czech Republic - allows a source of light to attract objects.

Light manipulation techniques have existed since the 1970s, but researchers say the experiment is the first instance of a beam being used to draw objects towards light.

Researchers from the University of St Andrews and the Institute of Scientific Instruments (ISI) in the Czech Republic say development of the beam may be an aid to medical testing, such as in the examination of blood samples.

Normally, when matter and light interact, a solid object is pushed by the light and carried away in a stream of photons.

However, in recent years, researchers have realised that there is a space of parameters when this force reverses.

The scientists have now demonstrated the first experimental realisation of the concept.

Professor Pavel Zemanek of the ISI said: "The whole team have spent a number of years investigating various configurations of particles delivery by light.

"I am proud our results were recognised in this very competitive environment and I am looking forward to new experiments and applications. It is a very exciting time."

Dr Oto Brzobohaty, also of the ISI, said: "These methods are opening new opportunities for fundamental phonics as well as applications for life-sciences."

  

Spiffing, I have my own tractor beam; snag is all I can attract is tractors....

 

And finally:

 

Norf a bit to Brummy land

 

Capital FM newsreader Laura Safe is the one making headlines rather than breaking them after she strolls straight into a canal in Birmingham while engrossed in a text to her boyfriend.

CCTV cameras in the Mailbox shopping district of Birmingham recorded the moment a radio newsreader walked straight into a freezing cold canal while composing a text to her boyfriend.

Laura Safe, who works for Capital FM's breakfast show in the city, can be seen texting as she walks down a flight of steps, unaware of the canal side a few feet in front of her. Seconds later a splash reveals she has fallen in, and she briefly flails around in the freezing cold water.

Ms Safe was pulled to safety moments later by a passer-by, with her health if not her pride fully intact.

 

News reading Numpty

 

That’s it: I’m orf to have a row about Quantum theory

 

And today’s thought:

It's the tractor beam bones; she's checking out my tattoos

 

 

Angus

Bee happy: Supergrid: Global pay scales: Caviar omelette: Bear faced outhouse: and that’s NASA useful.

Same old at the Castle this morn, the liquid metal sweatometer gauge is up to dehydration levels, no moving atmosphere, no sky water, no energy, no money, no hope...

His Maj is too hot to discover any new ambush tricks, the Honda is so yellow that I think it has jaundice and I am still humping the watering can around the grounds.

But the good news is that a species of bee not seen in the UK for a quarter of a century is being reintroduced to the countryside.

The short-haired bumblebee was once widespread across the south of England but it vanished in 1988.

However, after a healthy stock of the bees was found in Sweden, conservationists were able to collect some to seed a new UK colony.

A team of conservationists, with the permission of the Swedish authorities, captured nearly 100 spring queens to bring back to the UK.

About 50 queen bumblebees are being released at the RSPB's Dungeness reserve in Kent.

A team of conservationists, with the permission of the Swedish authorities, captured nearly 100 spring queens to bring back to the UK.

Before the release, the bees were put in quarantine for two weeks at Royal Holloway, University of London.

 

But it seems that half of them have evaded immigration and vanished....

Fed up with Leccy prices?

Worry not, the knobs have a cunning plan- the Supergrid, connect up the electricity supply networks of half a dozen countries or more, and you can shunt the current around, from where it is in surplus to where it is badly needed. In particular, you can do it with electricity provided from renewable sources, such as wind, solar and tidal power.

Using big electricity cables or "interconnectors" on the seabed between Blighty and our neighbours to tackle all three priorities of UK energy policy: security of supply (keeping the lights on under all circumstances), social justice (making sure that energy prices don't rise unacceptably high), and tackling climate change (a new priority, added over the past decade).

Apparently the European Supergrid has been under active development for a couple of years – David Cameron gave it his public backing in January 2011 – but has risen up the agenda after the Government expressed an interest in the longest connection of all, with Iceland, to tap into that volcanic nation's supplies of geothermal energy, provided by the natural heat of the Earth.

A proposed connection with Norway may be able to tap into the hydroelectric power in which Norway specialises, and connections to the Continent may be able to link up with solar power projects in France or even Africa.

 

Yeah right, I won’t hold my breath for “priority two”...

Want to know where you stand in the global salaries tables

Auntie BEEB has this super duper calculator where you can find out.

Have fun....

Across the big wavy, salty thing on the left

A New York hotel has the world's most expensive omelette on its menu, which will set you back 1,000 dollars (about £2.50 at today’s exchange rate).

Packed with lobster and caviar, the Zillion Dollar Lobster Frittata, is featured on the menu at Norma's restaurant in Manhattan's Le Parker Meridien Hotel.

The 10ounces of American Sturgeon caviar piled on top of the omelette ordinarily retails for about 65 dollars an ounce.

With 650 dollars worth of caviar sitting atop the expensive omelette, the extra 350 dollars is made up of one whole lobster, eggs, cream and chives, the dish's main ingredients, and then the hotel's overheads.

"We actually don't make much money on it, we sell it at about cost," the Daily Mail quoted Marisa Zafran, Parker Meridien's director of public relations, as saying.

Eggstraordinary...

Up a bit to the land of------well they must do something...

A Winnipeg man was rudely interrupted when he was dragged from an outhouse by a ferocious bear.

The victim, 65-year-old Gord Shurvell, only survived thanks to a quick-thinking friend who shot the animal, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reported Wednesday.

Shurvell was camping and fishing with his friend, Daniel Alexander, at a cabin by Dunbar Lake in eastern Ontario when the black bear went for him Saturday.

Shurvell told the CBC he was "sitting on the throne" in the outhouse with the door wide open so he could enjoy the view when the bear attacked, grabbing his pants.

He said the animal started dragging him through the bush by his arm and "I know if he gets me back there and I pass out, my buddy won't know ... it would take too long to find me. So I'm trying to get a tree to slow him down."

Alexander, who heard Shurvell screaming, grabbed a gun and found the pair in the bush. When the bear dropped Shurvell and turned, Alexander fired, killing it.

Shurvell escaped with scratches on his head, neck and arms along with a puncture to the back of his head, the CBC said.

So it’s not only bears that shit in the woods then....

And finally:

Still over the briny but back dahn a fair way

A fruit drink developed by NASA to protect astronauts from radiation can rejuvenate the skin.

A groundbreaking study has shown that the concoction, known as AS10, dramatically reduces wrinkles, blemishes and sun damage after four months.

AS10 was developed as a nutritional supplement for astronauts to protect them from the damaging effects of high levels of radiation outside the Earth’s atmosphere.

The drink contains a blend of fruits including cupuacu (a Brazilian fruit from the cacao plant family), acai, acerola, prickly pear and yumberry, which all provide vitamins and phytochemicals – compounds known to block the harmful effects of radiation. Other ingredients are grape, green tea, pomegranate and vegetables.

Radiation particles alter oxygen molecules in the body to create reactive oxygen species (ROS) – so-called ‘free radicals’ which damage cells in a process known as oxidative stress. This process has been linked to diseases such as cancer and Alzheimer’s. The toxic molecules are also thought to play a role in the skin ageing process.

ROS are created naturally within the body as cells generate energy, but also through environmental factors such as chemicals and ultraviolet light from the sun – the strongest stress to skin. Mobile phone radiation, cigarette smoke and alcohol also generate ROS.

AS10 is thought to improve skin condition because the drink’s large quantities of antioxidants ward off oxidative stress, allowing the skin to heal naturally. Antioxidants attach themselves to ROS and neutralise them before they cause damage.

And the snag is the cost- £30 per 750ml bottle, or daily use of sunscreen with UVB/UVA sun protection factor of 50+ could deliver results on a par with AS10.

Allegedly it is more likely to protect the skin, resulting in reductions in redness and pigmentation and a subtle reduction in wrinkles.’

Personally I find a 5mm layer of Polly-filler works just as well, if you can find a Polly to extract it from.....

That’s it: I’m orf to trap a rainbow

And today’s thought:

Coalition policies

Angus