Still chucking it dahn, astonishing amounts of atmospheric
movement, masses of lack of warm and not even a glimpse of Dawn’s crack at the
Castle this morn, the toofache continues to recede and his Maj is still using
his litter tray because of the “wevver”.
It seems that the most deserving person is a bloke who can
pedal faster than anyone else.
Read it if you must...I really don’t give a badger’s
balls....
Is still insisting on sending billions of our squids
overseas to help the “poor”, knobhead DC “thinks” that the UK had a “moral
obligation to the poorest in the world” even though “times are tough here”, and
that ordinary Brits were happy to see
their dosh go abroad — since they already give to charities.
Here’s an idea U-Turn; how about keeping our money in
deprived Blighty and let us decide how much to give to charity?
It seems that some Blightyites have taken a blood test to predict
how long they have left to live, with dozens more expected to sign up to the
new check next year.
Around 1,000 people have taken the test globally with thousands of UK customers to be targeted next year, Spanish manufacturer Life Length said. By 2017 the company hopes to have dropped the price to just £65 per person.
Around 1,000 people have taken the test globally with thousands of UK customers to be targeted next year, Spanish manufacturer Life Length said. By 2017 the company hopes to have dropped the price to just £65 per person.
Tiny chemical structures in DNA called telomeres are
analysed in the £650 test and used to estimate the speed at which a person is
ageing.
Recent tests on animals have shown that high levels of short
telomeres have been an accurate indication of a reduced life expectancy.
The structures rupture and shorten each time a cell divides
meaning that a higher number of short telomeres could be an indication of an
increased rate of cell splitting.
Sorry but knowing when I will shuffle orf this mortal coil
is not an item on my bucket list....
Allegedly Charlie’s old nag is a bit miffed with “Sir” Paul McCartney
because he didn’t say that her baggy old vag “barks like a rabid dog”.
According to a “source” “Sir Paul had nothing to do with the skit on “Saturday
Night Live”, but The Queen and Camilla blame him for not nipping it in the
bud,” an insider told American tabloid the National Enquirer.“Camilla told Charles, ‘Why is it that when Paul is on that show, I am ridiculed? Your mother is furious as well. It’s so offensive…There is no excuse!’”
Nah; what is offensive is the thought of the almost royal mare’s
old nether bits...
Apparently a scantily-clad man has angered RAAF bosses when
he played a round at the RAAF Darwin Golf Club wearing just a green mankini and
golf shoes while swigging a stubbie.
According to some “members”:
"He should be charged ... indecent exposure," said
Raechel Watts.
Debbie Neat said the man's dress code was "totally
disrespectful of the game".
"How disgusting! He should not have been allowed to
play without proper attire!" said Jennifer Fitzgibbins.
And the “Numptys”... those three above....
A man tried to eat 30 raw eggs for a bet – but collapsed
with severe stomach pains and died.
Dhaou Fatnassi, 20, scoffed 28 before he began feeling
violently ill. He was rushed to hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival.
The exact cause of death has not yet been established.
Mr Fatnassi made the wager with friends in Kairouan, north
east Tunisia, for an undisclosed sum of money.
Wasn’t enough was it.....
And finally:
Cold ears... Now you can be the proud owner of a pair of
sock monkey muffs for the meagre price of $9.99 (plus postage).
Can’t wait for those to arrive....
That’s it: I’m
orf to get annoyed
And today’s thought:
This mirror needs a clean
Angus
