Showing posts with label bonkers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bonkers. Show all posts

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

THE WORLD’S GONE MAD


Fancy a PHD? Mc Donalds is hoping to offer PhDs, after receiving approval to award its own nationally recognised qualifications in Britain, the company's "chief people officer" said Monday.

Speaking to the Financial Times, David Fairhurst said the company's new power to award qualifications made it "a university in its own right", and added that the company wanted to award qualifications equivalent to university degrees.

"One day, I'd love to see us doing a PhD, I definitely think we should go as far as we can," he told the business daily.

McDonald's was one of nine employers or employer groups last year that received the power to award qualifications, which Britain wants to encourage so that more workers will have recognised certificates to increase their employability.

A PHD in burger toppings, acceptable in all government departments.





From The Register Brown red in face after blusher found in cab as if he hasn’t got enough problems, Gordon Brown acquired another light dusting of woe when his make-up bag was left in the back of a taxi last week.

Rather more seriously the bag, left by a junior aide, also contained information on how he and Home Secretary Jacqui Smith would be getting to Yorkshire for an official visit.

Less dangerously, but more amusingly, the bag also contained detailed instructions on the PM's beauty regime.

Brown starts with an illuminating foam then a touch of concealer for under his eyes. Stage three is Clinique super-balanced make-up which goes all over his face and eyes, followed by a touch of terracotta Guerlain powder for that bronzed look, the Sun reports.

Too little too late.




Then there’s this Swedish chopper chief demands fireproof bras A Swedish chopper fleet commander has demanded that his female pilots be granted the same degree of fireproofing enjoyed by their male counterparts - in the form of flameproof bras.

Group Captain Micael Byden insisted the existing underwear issued to the flygirls simply isn't up to the standard enjoyed by the boys. He told local paper Ostgota Correspondenten: "It is a question of basic safety. You can not have anything close to the body that can be set alight when you are flying."

Byden apparently also expressed doubts that "fireproof panties are being provided to female flyers", and he "guessed" that they are probably obliged to don male anti-nad-roast smalls.

While the Swedish armed forces' failure to address this jub-protection issue is somewhat disturbing, we're heartened by the fact that their sensitive handling of female operatives evidently prevents Byden from simply asking his chopper gals what kind of knickers they're wearing.

I’ve heard of burning your bra but that’s a bit over top.




Google hires goat army for lawn maintenance Google said on the 2nd of May that it has enlisted a small army of hungry goats to help manicure the expansive fields at its Mountain View headquarters.

The internet's top ad broker wrote in its official blog that the goats are hired from a local goat rental business to clear weeds and brush to reduce fire hazard.

A herder brings about 200 goats and they spend roughly a week with us at Google, eating the grass and fertilizing at the same time. The goats are herded with the help of Jen, a border collie. It costs us about the same as mowing, and goats are a lot cuter to watch than lawn mowers.

But you don’t get that lovely smell of freshly mown grass, just the stink of goat C##p.





And finally:

Just to prove how loony it has all got the-World's Most Bizarre Magazines:

Girls and Corpses

Miniature Donkey Talk Magazine

Modern Drunkard Magazine

A Bear's Life

Sheep magazine
It makes you glad to be “normal” doesn’t it: what?


“Stuff your eyes with wonder . . . live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” Ray Bradbury

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER




Why do bloggers blog?

A friend asked me this question today. (Yes, I still have the odd one, and believe me some are really odd).

Some do it for the best of reasons, and, I suppose some do it just because they can. Maybe some do it so that they can expose their lives to others, hoping that “others” will think that their lives are interesting.

Some do it out of arrogance, thinking that they know best and their viewpoint is the only one that matters.

But does it really matter why? Isn’t it the different points of view that can be opined, or all the information that can be given or received that matters?

Blogging enables people to communicate it enables discussion, and a chance to join together against the things that really irritate us, or things that are wrong.

I know why I blog, I do it to keep sane, I do it because I want to get a message out to people and perhaps just maybe make a tiny difference to this tortured world and all the tortured souls in it.

It’s good fun, it’s fulfilling and it’s really great to kick “the Powers that Be” in the knackers as often as I can, and I can truly say that I enjoy it.

This friend then asked me, why don’t you use your own name?

This was a bit more difficult to answer, I had a quick think, and I suppose the answer is: -

It is my armour, it enables me to say the things I say without having to be me, I think Medical bloggers use another “identity” because of fear of reprisals from the “Powers that Be”, other people may use another name because they are “damaged” in some way and don’t want people who know them see their souls.

Very few people know who Angus really is, but I trust them to keep the secret, until I am ready to “come out”.

I certainly have two personalities, I have “ME” and “ANGUS”, “ME” is damaged, damaged by the death of my wife three years ago, which in my opinion was needless, damaged by the attitude of the consultant, and of the senior management of the hospital, damaged by the piss poor attitude and lack of skills and understanding of the Healthcare Commission.

“Me” doesn’t really give a shit if I live or die, to “ME” life is over, I died three years ago, and the body is just a biological shell, the psyche has retreated into a corner, and is waiting to fade away.

But from the “darkness” another “ME” arose, it was nameless and shapeless at first, but slowly the anger, and the desire for “justice” moulded the new “ME” and “Angus” was created.

When I am Angus I can stand back and look at things from a totally different perspective, Angus can do things that “ME” can’t, because he cares, and can say what he wants without fear of reprisal he can try to alter peoples perception of “authority” to try and explain what is happening to the poor, the old, the disadvantaged and the sick (Superman suit is going on).

Angus of course is me, “WE” are the same person, but two different aspects of one personality, I know that angus is not real, but as him I can carry on and try to redress the injustices and the arrogant attitudes and the greed and thoughtlessness of life and certain people.

Multiple Personality Disorder? I don’t think so, I am fully aware of my two “parts” not bonkers then? That is a matter for those with “Proper Training” to say, if they really gave a shit, which they don’t. There, you see another reason for Angus.

When I am “ME” I carry on, I do the shopping and all the other things that “normal” people do, but Angus is a bit different, and perhaps that is why I blog, to get away from the mundane existence that seems to pervade society at the moment, all the bad news and misery that is thrust down our throats.

Angus? I love him, he is the best thing to happen to “ME” in three years, and along with Angus has come new friends, caring people who I have never met, but I know care about “Angus” and “ME”, and with care and perseverance “Angus” will hopefully be around for many years to come, as long as there is a need for him, and people keep reading “his” blogs.


Angus Dei, and proud of it.