Saturday Snippets

Arnie’s auction, Spouse’s revenge, Gordon Brown-maths genius, Only on a Thursday and a Test


Something a bit different today, I challenged myself to insert the word ‘Numpty’ into each item, so it’s hunt the Numpty.


First up:


This is really going to help

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is holding an online "garage sale" in his latest attempt to balance California's budget.

California's $85bn (£52.5bn) budget has a deficit of $26bn (£16bn).

In his latest move to boost his state's ailing economy, Mr. Schwarzenegger is offering 6,000 items - ranging from cars to computers to binoculars - for auction on the eBay and Craigslist websites.

California began selling unneeded or unclaimed items online last week and is holding a two-day auction of 6,000 more on Friday and Saturday.

To entice buyers, the governor has autographed the sun visors of several of the vehicles up for sale in order to raise their value.

"This is a win-win for the state and for shoppers. Together we are eliminating waste and providing great deals in this tough economy."

"I look forward to selling these signed cars and making some $ for California," he wrote on the Twitter micro-blogging website last week.

Ah.... so he isn’t going to sell any of his belongings then.... Numpty

I’ve been a bad bad boy

A wife took revenge on her husband after she discovered he was having an affair by making him stand in public with a sign saying "I cheated".

William Taylor stood shamed faced on a busy road with the large home made sign draped round his neck saying: "I cheated. This is my punishment."

Taylor said his wife had come up with the humiliating punishment after she found out he had cheated on her.

Taylor, of Centreville, Virginia, said his wife had wanted him to stand with the sign for a week.
But after a couple of hours he received a call to say his punishment was over.

He told a local TV station in Virginia that he thought his wife was joking when she suggested the idea.

"I thought she was kidding, but she was serious," he said. "I figured I got to do what I got to do to makes things right. So here I am."

Dozens of drivers honked their car horns as they saw Taylor standing forlornly on the busy intersection during the morning rush hour.


Numpty

It's true!!

Gordon Brown has just got an “A” grade GCSE in maths.

No not the Numpty in Downing Street but eight year old Xavier Gordon-Brown. Which makes him the youngest recipient of an A” grade.

The youngster, from Haywards Heath in Sussex, makes a 140-mile round journey every week to a private tutor in Hertfordshire.

He also has quite a lot of common sense: the maths genius has been quick to criticise his namesake, declaring: "He's letting the country down."


Want a job Gordon?

Thursday theft

TRENTON, New Jersey - A man who robbed banks every Thursday has been sentenced to nearly six years in federal prison.

Peter Bielecke pleaded guilty in June to one count of bank robbery but admitted five other holdups on consecutive Thursdays in January, February and March. He robbed banks in several cities including Brick, his hometown.

He didn't give a reason for choosing Thursdays. But authorities say the pattern made it easier to track him.

The 40-year-old was arrested after a March 5 robbery in Old Bridge.

He'll serve five years and 10 months in prison. He'll also have to pay nearly $12,000 in restitution under the sentence handed down Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Trenton.


Maybe Thursday was his day off.......Numpty


And finally:

A test, and I will be asking questions later, (and no looking at the answers) until the end.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?


3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?


Solutions below the picture.

Answers:

(How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?)

Open the refrigerator put the giraffe in and close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.


(How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? )

If you said: Open the refrigerator put in the elephant and close the door, you're wrong you Numpty!

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.


(The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?)

The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.

This tests your memory.


(There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?)

You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.

This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes


So how did you do?

If you got them all right...get a bloody life, if you got them all wrong put yourself up for Parliament, any thing in between shows that you have the intelligence of four year old as those tested managed two to three correct answers.


Me? I got three right; the second one caught me out, which makes me a Numpty.


Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

Saturday Snippets

Saturday again, and I am sick of the Jacko hype, the man was an exceptional entertainer, but lacked something as a person, yes he had a strange childhood and yes it probably affected his adult life, but there are millions of others who are in the same position.

And with all his money he had the chance to change, he could afford to have just walked away, many can’t.


First up:

Councils make me sick well, not me personally but workers, Council workers are taking nearly twice as many sick days as private sector employees, according to a study.

The 'sick note' culture in the public sector is costing taxpayers £4billion a year.
On average local authority employees take 13.5 sick days each year, compared with 7.9 days in the private sector.

The study of council 'sickies' was conducted by the Benenden Healthcare Society, which provides healthcare to council workers, and the Society of Local Authority Chief Executives.

It found that sickness absence could easily be cut by 20 per cent, saving £800million a year of public money if councils did more to tackle rampant absenteeism.

But a poll of council executives found that only 9 per cent of senior managers in local councils regard absence through sickness and faked illness as a major issue that they need to tackle. Some 84 per cent of them leave it for workers' line managers to handle.

The buggers should think themselves lucky to have a job without taking the piss.

No planes for Paras it seems that the iraq war has led to a shortage of Hercules transport planes for paras to jump out of.

When the Iraq war began in 2003 the Armed Forces had 51 Hercules available, but four have been shot down or destroyed in Iraq and Afghanistan and at least nine have had to be retired due to the intense workload. The remaining fleet is working flat out to support operations abroad.

In some units barely half the Paras are certified to jump - with hundreds unable to earn their wings or maintain their skills once qualified.

Recruits must complete a course of at least six jumps - culminating in a massed low-level jump from a Hercules at night, wearing full kit - plus two more with their unit to gain their coveted 'wings' badge and become fully-fledged Paras.

After that they cease to be operationally deployable unless they can jump twice a year.
Many have already lost their entitlement to specialist pay of £5 pay per day because they have failed to jump at all for two years.

Recent figures have shown just 55 per cent of soldiers in the 3rd Battalion The Parachute Regiment are certified to jump.

With senior officers in uproar, the MoD has finally admitted the scale of the problem and agreed to hire a fleet of much smaller civilian Skyvan aircraft - normally used for amateur skydiving flights.

I bet there is money for the top brass to travel about in chauffer driven cars though.

Train late? Not to worry, have a bonus Rail bosses are paying themselves £1.2million in bonuses despite presiding over chronic delays.

Iain Coucher, chief executive of Network Rail, picked up a £150,000 bonanza, taking his pay package to nearly £1million. One of five other bosses cashing in received £319,000.

Critics said the board members were riding a taxpayer-funded 'gravy train'. Network Rail was also accused of trying to play down the payments by making them public when Michael Jackson's death was dominating the headlines.

The announcement came after the company's bosses were lambasted for failing to deliver a good service on the flagship West Coast main line between London and Scotland.

The bonuses, which are decided by Network Rail's remuneration committee, were released with the publication of its annual report.

Gerry Doherty, leader of the TSSA union, said: 'Iain Coucher and his cronies win the Brass Neck of the Year award for taking these completely unjustified bonuses.

'They are treating passengers and ministers with contempt. And their cynicism in trying to bury bad news on the day of Michael Jackson's sad death is truly breathtaking.'

The six top directors paid themselves £1.21million in bonuses on top of salaries worth a combined £2.5million. They also topped up their pension pots with £378,000 of supplementary payments and £295,000 in other benefits.

Mr Coucher, 47, has waived his annual bonus but gets his £150,000 as part of a three-year rolling incentive plan.

Ron Henderson, who retired as finance director in April, received an annual bonus of £207,000 plus £112,000 under the three-year plan.

Robin Gisby, director of operations and customer services, took an annual bonus of £81,000 plus £58,000 as his long-term bonus.

Chairman Sir Ian McAllister, who does not receive a bonus but does enjoy a £265,000 salary, said Network Rail could look back at its recent record with pride. Bonuses shared around the firm came to £32million.

Yep, privatisation really has made a difference, for the bosses.

Gordo really has lost it he believes that a swift economic recovery, coupled with the promise to put power in the hands of the voter, will restore Labour's fortunes in time for a general election expected next spring.

The Government's draft legislative programme, to be unveiled on Monday, is expected to include plans to give patients, parents and residents more personalised services, along with greater powers of redress if public bodies fall short.

The proposals set out in the document Building Britain's Future will foreshadow legislation in the Queen's Speech this autumn and can be expected to influence Labour's manifesto for the election.

Yeah, and I believe in fairies, but then I don’t “run” the country.

And finally:

BBC boss thinks that expenses are fair and reasonable Mark Thompson, the director-general of the BBC, has defended the high salaries and lavish expense accounts enjoyed by the corporation's most senior executives.

Mr Thompson insisted that all of the expenses claims made by staff – including nights at five-star hotels, bottles of champagne and flights in private planes – were "reasonable and justified".

The figures showed that the BBC's 50 highest-paid executives earned as much as £13.6million last year, with 27 paid more than the Prime Minister.

In addition, they spent tens of thousands of pounds' worth of public money on entertaining each other, staying at top hotels around the world and showering gifts on actors and other employees.
One executive sent a £100 bouquet of flowers to Jonathan Ross, while another spent £1,137.55 on a dinner to mark Sir Terry Wogan's knighthood.

But Mr Thompson, whose basic salary is £647,000, said: "Every one of these expenses in my view was reasonable and was justified.

"This is an organisation with a turnover over £4.5billion and this is a few hundred thousand pounds of expenses.

He spent £2,236.90 of licence fee payers' money to fly his family home from a holiday in Sicily when he had to return to deal with the row triggered by the lewd messages left by Ross and Russell Brand on the answering machine of Andrew Sachs.

"I took the car, drove 150 miles to the airport, abandoning my family without a car in a hotel in Sicily. I think, rather understandably, they felt that, given the circumstances, they should come back too," Mr Thompson said

He claimed BBC managers earn far less than they would in the private sector, and said it was right that the multi-million pound salaries of star presenters remained secret, otherwise there would be a "talent drain" to other channels.

Simple answer; bugger off to the private sector if you want more money, don’t insult the license fee payers by wasting our money on yourselves.

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

YEAH RIGHT!

Gord is backtracking so fast now that it looks like he is moon walking, his latest “cunning plan” is to change the voting system from first past the post to Alternative vote (system in which voters could list their preferences rather than simply voting for one candidate as now) and he also wants a legally binding code of conduct for MPs.

These “new” ideas of course are only that, ideas, Gord is trying to tell us things that he thinks we want to hear, the other problem is that NU Labour have a cat in hells chance of getting the legislation in place before the next election.

If El Gordo wants us to believe him and vote for No labour what he needs to do is make party manifestos legally binding, then Non Labour and the other parties will have to carry out their “promises”.

End of the gravy train for the NHS

After pouring in hundreds of millions into the NHS the money has run out- Telegraph estimates are that by 2011 there will be a £15 bn shortfall.


Is this yet another part of the cunning plan?

The NHS Confederation said in a new report. “The Confederation, which represents most NHS organisations, warned that action is needed now if the health service is to remain free at the point of need.”

Steve Barnett, chief executive of the Confederation, said: "With little or no cash increase from 2011/12 the NHS has to prepare itself for real terms reductions in what it can afford to do and needs to make the hard decisions about which programmes to fund, how to reward staff and how to reorganise services now.

"If it does not, then the mistakes of the past could be repeated and shortages in funding will translate to the kind of across the board cuts which could see waiting lists lengthen, standards fall and dissatisfaction with the service grow among patients and staff."

Simple answer: we don’t need “management consultants” we don’t need half the “managers” and we don’t need the Foundation trust system, return the power to the central Government then we know who is responsible.

Free food

From the Telegraph-Sky 'rains tadpoles' over Japan Residents, officials and scientists have been baffled by the apparent downpour of tadpoles in central Japan's Ishikawa Prefecture.

Clouds of dead tadpoles appear to have fallen from the sky in a series of episodes in a number of cities in the region since the start of the month.

In one incident, a 55-year-old man who was caught in a tadpole downpour described hearing a strange sound in the parking lot of a civic centre in the city of Nanao.

Upon further exploration, he found more than 100 dead tadpoles covering the windshields of cars in an area measuring 10 square metres.

Dead tadpole downpours were also reported by local officials 48 hours later in the city of Hakusan in the same prefecture.

The raining down of small creatures such as frogs and fish is a rare meteorological phenomenon that is reported from time to time across the world.

The good news is that it may let the dolphins off the hook for a while.

Big Bang

Florida fisherman reels in a missile a Florida fisherman has landed the catch of his life - an air-to-air guided missile that could have exploded at any moment.

Despite the danger, Rodney Salomon, a commercial fisherman, reeled in the missile, attached it to his boat and kept fishing in the Gulf of Mexico for another 10 days before returning to port.

"I had it strapped to the roof of my boat as we rode through lightning storms," Mr Salomon said, according to local Tampa Bay's 10 Connects News.

The bomb squad from a nearby military base that promptly dismantled it upon his return to shore said the heavily corroded eight-foot-long missile could have exploded at any moment.

"I wasn't scared," said Mr Salomon, 37, said. "Why should I be scared?" The fisherman, from Saint Petersburg, Florida, was 50 miles out in the Gulf from Panama City when he caught the military ordnance, said the Pinellas County sheriff's office.

Did I say “big bang” I meant to say “Big Idiot”.

Giant Lobster

Staying on the marine theme - Telegraph a predatory monster lobster that lived in the sea more than 500 million years ago has been identified from pieces of a fossil jigsaw.

Hurdia Victoria was about half a metre long and prowled the waters with a circular jaw filled with teeth and a pair of spiny claws.

The creature is related to Anomalocaris, a vicious prehistoric fish whose relatively large size and toothy mouth earned it the nickname "the T. rex of the Cambrian".

But scientists are still baffled by a strange, seemingly pointless shell structure on top of the lobster's head.

Researcher Allison Daley, from Uppsala University in Sweden, who has been studying the fossils for three years as part of her doctoral thesis, said: "This structure is unlike anything seen in other fossil or living arthropods.

It was probably for the sonar equipment.


And finally:

The Yolks on him ( I know but I couldn’t resist)

My favouite “politician” was pelted with eggs yesterday, BNP leader Nick Griffin got his breakfast on the fly, if you want to see it again and again the link is here-enjoy.


Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

A CUNNING PLAN

El Gordo dragged his MPs into a meeting at Westminster yesterday and managed to convince them that he is the man to lead Labour out of recession and into another term of office.

I don’t know how he did it; maybe it was a combination of threats and grovelling, or perhaps it is because that the MPs are too afraid to tell him what they really think.

What El Gordo doesn’t realise is that it is not the MPs he has to convince but us, and following the expenses thing and his lack of leadership he has a rather high mountain to climb.

And, let’s not forget who destroyed the economy in the first place by removing regulation from the Financial Services sector when he was Chancellor.

Today he meets with his new cabinet for the first time; the “brown noses” will be out in force; that is of course apart from those plotting his downfall behind his back.

Smokers under fire again

BBC NEWS Treating disease directly caused by smoking produces medical bills of more than £5bn a year in the UK.

In 2005, smoking accounted for almost one in five of all deaths and a significant amount of disability, the Oxford University team said.

The British Heart Foundation who funded the research said tighter regulations were needed on the sale of tobacco.

Previous estimates have put the burden of smoking on the NHS at £1.4bn to £1.7bn, the researchers reported in Tobacco Control.

Study leader Dr Steven Allender, said the increased costs were largely due to increasing expense of treatment on the NHS with better treatment and technologies.

"The story is not so much the five-fold increase but that £5bn is an enormous number regardless.”

"There's two different ways of looking at this - one is if nobody smoked we would save £5bn but the alternative view is this is an enormous health problem and should be moved back up the policy agenda."

Drawing on their previous work on other lifestyle issues, he added that smoking cost five times more than lack of physical activity, twice the cost of obesity and about the same as an unhealthy diet.
A separate paper published by the team in the Journal of Public Health found that alcohol consumption costs the UK NHS £3bn.

Betty McBride, policy and communications director at the British Heart Foundation, said: "This is money being drained out of the NHS as a direct result of something we have the power to prevent.

"Yet the true tragedy of this monstrous figure is the lives that are cut short or ruined as a result of smoking.

"This study shows exactly why we need the strongest possible measures to control the sale of tobacco."

However, Simon Clark, from the smoker's lobby group Forest, said the figure in the report was a guesstimate, and should be treated with contempt.

Mr Clark said it was preposterous to suggest that the cost of smoking to the NHS had risen dramatically, as smoking rates had been falling for 50 years.

He said: "Even if it was true, smokers still contribute twice that amount to the Treasury in tobacco taxation and VAT.

"Far from being a burden on society, smokers make an enormous financial contribution."

Another part of the cunning plan; and an excuse to put up prices again.

Not really funny but……

Telegraph a 66-year-old man was knocked down by the silver Mercedes when it suddenly lurched forward as his son, coached by a brother in the passenger seat, tried to manoeuvre it away from the clubhouse.

Doctors attending a medical conference at the venue ran to help the man at Sonning Golf Club, Berkshire, and treated him for a serious leg injury before paramedics arrived.

However, minutes later he suffered a cardiac arrest.

Paramedics used a defibrillator and he regained consciousness, but then later died at the Royal Berkshire Hospital in nearby Reading.

A member of the club, where players pay up to £1,100 pounds for five days on the course, said the unnamed the victim, who lived in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, had been driven to the venue by his two sons.

"After he was dropped off, one of the sons, who was learning to drive, was being given a lesson by his sibling," he said.

"Unfortunately the car lurched into the elderly father and knocked him down.

A spokesman for Thames Valley Police spokesman said: "A silver Mercedes collided with a 66-year-old man in the car park of the Sonning Golf Club, on Duffield Road at around midday on Saturday," he said.

"The man was taken to the Royal Berkshire Hospital, where he later died."

As I said not really funny but what a bit of luck finding all those Doctors at a golf club.

The progressive Labour party; stepping back 50 years


From the Telegraph slop buckets in every home as councils consider a ban on food waste in landfill

Every home could be forced to use "slop buckets" under Government plans to cut waste by banning councils from dumping food scraps in landfill.

With the new recycling boxes, used for all leftovers and all other food waste, households will have to deal with up to five different bins and remember increasing complex patterns of waste collection. Campaigners are also concerned about the hygene implications of leaving out rotting food particularly during the hot summer months.

However, Hilary Benn, the Environment Secretary, said it was ridiculous to continue dumping food waste or other materials such as aluminium or glass that can be recycled or used to generate energy.

He announced a £10 million investment in new technology that turns food waste into biofuels and launched an informal consultation on banning food waste being sent to landfill.

If councils are not allowed to send food waste to landfill it will mean collecting food scraps separately in a slop bucket so it can be converted into fuel or burned along with other materials in an incinerator.

Councils warned the cost would be passed to taxpayers unless they are allocated additional funds and campaigners said the new system could have problems for hygiene.

Almost one in four councils have already introduced separate food waste collections and there is pressure from the EU for more to follow.

Doretta Cocks of the Campaign for Weekly Waste Collection, said householders are already concerned about unpleasant odours from food waste attracting flies and other pests.
"As well as having serious implications for council tax payers, compulsory food waste collections would be impossible to administer," she said.

However Richard Swannell, director of retail and organics at the Government's waste watchdog WRAP, said that in areas where separate food collections have already been introduced people have reported a high level of satisfaction.

"Chucking food waste into landfill produces greenhouse gases that are contributing to global warming. It is much better if we cut food waste in the first place, compost it at home or use a process that generates electricity and also preserves the nutrients [anaerobic digestion]," he said.

Yeah right, we haven’t got anything else to do have we? This of course comes from the EU which only 30% or so of us voted for.

And finally:

Another part of the cunning plan?

The £5 Henry VIII commemorative coin that is yours for £4,400 - Telegraph

The Royal Mint has issued 100 of the Crowns in platinum at £4,400 each to mark a reign which instigated the Golden Age in English History.

It is the first time in more than 450 years that the monarch's head has graced a coin and Royal Mint hope they will become treasured mementoes of his controversial reign.

Dave Knight, Director of Commemorative Coin at the Royal Mint, said: 'Love him or hate him, Henry VIII is undoubtedly one of history's most influential monarchs.

"His reign changed the face of England forever and we felt it was essential that this remarkable period of history was commemorated with a lasting and treasured memento."

A further 1,509 (the year he came to power) coins in gold are also available for £1,195 each with 10,000 more in silver, priced at £44.95, and 100,000 in nickel for £9.99.

The Royal Mint's coin shows the great king standing before a frieze of roses in the 'antique' style much favoured in the carvings and tapestries of the period.

The edge of the coin features a Latin inscription "ROSA SINE SPINA", which was also used on Henry VIII's own coinage and translates as 'Rose without a Thorn'.

And a quote from me: at those prices-bugger off.


“I have a very, very, very cunning plan. Is it as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning?”- Blackadder

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

SUNDAY SECTION

A bit different today, more of a roundup on the day’s news.

BBC NEWS UK plans comprehensive terror law the Gov is updating the terror laws to include “tens of thousands of Britons such as retailers had now been trained to deal with a terror incident.”

"What we're completely clear about is that if we're going to address the threat from terrorism, we need to do that alongside the 60,000 people that we're now training up to respond to a terrorist threat, in everywhere from our shopping centres to our hotels. We need to do it alongside the 3,000 police officers now working on counter-terror, and we need to do it with international partners”.

"This is no longer something you can do behind closed doors and in secret."

Unlike the terrorists, who are here because the Gov doesn’t stop them at the borders, and keeps our armed forces in Iraq and Afghanistan.



Telegraph Senior Labour minister Tony McNulty has admitted claiming £60,000 of expenses on his parents' home.

The employment minister is the latest MP to be caught claiming the Common's controversial "additional costs allowance" for a property that is not strictly his home.

Mr McNulty lives with his wife Christine Gilbert in a house she owns in Hammersmith, three miles from Westminster. Yet the minister has been claiming up to £14,000 a year in parliamentary expenses to help pay for another house he owns in Harrow, 11 miles from the Commons, in which his parents live.

The MP can claim the money because the house is in his Harrow constituency and so qualifies him for the second home allowance. After the arrangement was disclosed by the Mail on Sunday this weekend, Mr McNulty announced that he had decided to stop claiming the money, which he has benefited from since becoming an MP in 1997.

Not good enough McNulty, pensioners are struggling and ordinary families are struggling, you are a selfish arrogant git.



Mail Online Gord and Mandy off to party in Chile, yep, sod the recession, sod the country and sod the rest of us.

The Prime Minister, accompanied by Business Secretary Peter Mandelson, will next week join Left-wing politicians from around the world at a ‘Progressive Governance’ conference in Vina del Mar in Chile.

The event, focusing on the global economic crisis and culminating in a leaders’ summit due to be attended by American Vice-President Joe Biden and Brazilian President Lula da Silva, comes at the end of a week of official visits by Mr Brown that also takes in America and Brazil.
Makes you feel all warm inside doesn’t it?


BBC NEWS UFOs- we are not alone or are we?
A woman reported seeing a glowing, spherical object rise into the air in Norwich after meeting a man who said he came from a planet similar to Earth.

In another sighting, a triangular craft hovered then "shot off at 500mph".
The third set of UFO documents to be released by the Ministry of Defence covers the period from 1987 to 1993.

In November 1989 a "completely terrified" woman contacted RAF Wattisham in Suffolk to report her close encounter with a man claiming to be an alien.
She said she met the fair-haired man with a Scandinavian-type accent as she walked her dog on a sports field.

He then said he had spoken to her because he felt it was important to have contact with humans even though he was told not to.

As the unidentified woman ran home she heard a loud buzzing noise and turned to see a large, spherical object, glowing orange-white, rise steadily until out of sight.

In November 1990, the crews of six RAF Tornado jets reported being overtaken by a "giant UFO" while flying over Germany.

They thought it was a test flight for the then top-secret US Stealth fighter, but it turned out to be the burning debris from a Soviet rocket body used to launch a satellite into orbit.

On 31 March 1993 various reports of moving lights over south-west England and south Wales were later traced to the re-entry of a Russian Cosmos rocket body.

The files, which can be downloaded from the National Archives website, are being released as part of a three-year project

These latest documents are the first containing information written by defence intelligence staff to be made public.
Dr Clarke said they were among tens of thousands of secret files contaminated with asbestos and were in danger of being destroyed.

They were eventually saved after a campaign by historians to rescue them from the old War Office building in Whitehall.



BBC NEWS Call for school travel shake-up and about bloody time, Ministers and local authorities must do more to provide alternatives to car travel for pupils, MPs have said.

The Commons Transport Committee said it was disappointed plans had not been in place before the introduction of 14-19 diplomas, which can mean more travel.

The committee recommended a move towards more walking, cycling and American-style yellow school buses.

The Department for Transport (DfT) said it would be looking at the committee's recommendations "in detail".
Imagine, no more school run-heaven!

And finally-BBC NEWS Jade Goody dies Reality TV star Jade Goody has died at the age of 27, her spokesman Max Clifford has confirmed.

She died at home in Upshire, Essex, overnight on Saturday after a battle with cancer.


Rest in peace, didn’t like her personally, but maybe cervical cancer screening will save lives, so good on her.

“A newspaper is lumber made malleable. It is ink made into words and pictures. It is conceived, born, grows up and dies of old age in a day.” Jim Bishop

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

SATURDAY SNIPPETS 5

It’s enough to make you cry.

From Ananova, a motorist in Liverpool was stopped and questioned by the police-for laughing, yep; the SS seems to have landed.

Gary Saunders was using a hands-free phone when he burst out laughing at a joke told by his brother-in-law.

A few moments later he noticed a traffic officer flashing his lights at him and gesticulating at him to stop his Renault.

When Mr Saunders got out of his car, the policeman told him: "Laughing while driving a car can be an offence."

Supt Kevin Hagger, of the Mersey Tunnels Police, said: "There is no record of the incident in the system so it seems the gentleman was just spoken to by the officer and the matter not taken any further."

I think some retraining is necessary for the “laughing policeman”

Staying on the police theme-Ananova - Lighter sparks police panic police in Nanjing received emergency calls saying a man wearing a hunting rifle on his back was stalking the streets, they sent out six patrol cars to find the “offender”.

"On spotting the man, officers forced him to stop. The man was obviously very scared and said the gun was only a toy lighter, which he just won as an award in a restaurant."

Police tested the gun, but found that pulling the trigger resulted only in a small blue flame coming out from the end of the barrel.

Police gave the man a warning for alarming members of the public and confiscated his life-sized rifle lighter, reports the Yangtse Evening Post.

I expect the man was a bit “light headed”



From the Guardian-Spy agencies' multimillion pound computer project is scrapped A multimillion-pound computer project designed to improve Britain's security by giving key government officials speedy access to secret intelligence on terrorism and other threats has been scrapped in a move described as "appalling" yesterday by a watchdog of senior MPs and peers.

Scope was previously described as marking the "beginning of the end" of the distribution of paper copies of intelligence reports aroundWhitehall and as "fundamentally changing the way the UK intelligence community interacts".

A limited version of the project, called Scope 1, is up and running after a two-year delay. It enables MI5, MI6, and GCHQ to communicate with each other more quickly and securely than before. They can call up the latest intelligence within 15 minutes rather than waiting 12 hours.

Security? Smeg!




From the Register MPs vote to keep addresses private (theirs, not yours), those wonderful open minded MPs have voted themselves the right to withhold their names and addresses from publication. Candidates at Parliamentary elections will get the same right.

Last May, the High Court ruled in a Freedom of Information case that MPs' addresses should be public information. British citizens ought to be able to check on MP expense claims, or to monitor the living arrangements of individuals such as the Home Secretary.

In July, the government used an order in the House to overturn this, arguing that some personal information – particularly that relating to addresses and travel information – should be withheld from publication on the grounds of national security, and also the possibility that MPs would be harassed.


Doesn’t stop em getting slimed though does it?




And finally-Prime Minister's health records breached in database attack Personal medical records belonging to Scotland's rich and powerful - including Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Holyrood's First Minister Alex Salmond - have been illegally accessed in a breach of a national database that holds details of 2.5 million people.

The files contained names, ages, addresses, and occupations of the patients, in addition to medical information such as a list of any current medications and allergies to medicines, according to The Sunday Mail. The records of BBC newswoman Jackie Bird (an earlier version of this story mistakenly referred to her as "newsman") and former Labour leader Jack McConnell and his culture chief wife Bridget were also accessed.

An NHS Fife doctor has been charged with contravention of the Data Protection Act in the case and appeared on petition at Dunfermline in late December. He made no plea or declaration and isn't scheduled to appear again in court until later this year.


Maybe now the Gov will get off its arse and do something about data security.


"We don't know who we are until we see what we can do." Martha Grimes

Angus


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

SATURDAY SNIPPETS 2

The power of advertising

From The Telegraph Liverpool Street Station was brought to a standstill by 12,000 people copying the T-Mobile advert.

The event was organised on Facebook. The crowd, who were all listening to music through headphones, broke into dance at 7pm on Friday night in a scene which aped the advert which was filmed at the station last month.
The flash mob caused police to close the station for around 90 minutes due to fears of overcrowding.
Participants, some of whom had travelled hundreds of miles to take part, said the station was so packed that there was no room to dance.

Wonder if there were any sheepdogs present?

Two pints of milk and a joint please

A milkman delivered cannabis to pensioners on his rounds to help ease their "aches and pains", a court has heard.

His customers left him notes on the doorstep asking for the drug to be left with their daily pint. When his Ford Transit van was searched, officers found 15 wraps of cannabis, weighing 178 grams, stashed in egg crates. The Class B drug was divided into various different weights and had a street value of £450.

He was sentenced to 36 weeks in prison suspended for a year, the decision to spare Holding jail was an "act of mercy" because his wife had Alzheimer's and depended on his care.

Click on the link and take a look at the photograph and all will be revealed.

Oh S**T

A student has lost seven years of research after a bag containing 77 Kilos of rare butaan lizard excrement he had collected rom the rainforest in the Phillipines was thrown out.

"But to me it represented seven years of painstaking work searching the rainforest with a team of reformed poachers to find the faeces of one of the world's largest, rarest and most mysterious lizards.

"Its loss left me reeling and altered the course of my life forever." He said. The University has offered him 500 pounds in compensation and an apology, after the student lodged an official complaint about the loss.
But Bennett says this is not enough, and has vowed to "see them in court".
"Whether it was the largest collection of lizard sh** in the world is uncertain," he said.


It all sounds like a load of crap to me.

Try and try again, and again, and again, and again……

A South Korean grandmother has failed her driving test 771 times, police said Thursday, but a local newspaper reported she will keep trying.

The 68-year-old, identified only by her last name Cha, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005 in the south-western city of Jeonju. She failed again Monday for the 771st time.

Police estimate she has spent almost five million won (3,600 dollars) to take the written test, with each test costing 6,000 won in addition to other expenses.


I have absolutely no comment.

Here are some strange newspaper articles.

And finally.

Our beloved leader the one ey…perhaps not, has managed to do it again, the national flag was displayed upside-down at a ceremony with visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao.

Even worse, observers note teasingly that the gaffe reflects his current political woes, since traditionally flying the flag upside-down on a ship signifies that it is in distress.
The red white and blue flag, commonly known as the Union Jack, was proudly in place at a ceremony to sign a business deal in Brown's Downing Street office on Monday.

But eagle-eyed observers noted that the flag was mistakenly attached upside-down on the wooden stick, placed on the table in front of Business Secretary Peter Mandelson.

Mike Kearsley, director general of the Flag Institute said "I'm surprised that people of the calibre of Mandelson and the prime minister could allow such as mistake.”


I’m not!

Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur. (It is a wise man who speaks little.)



Angus
NHS

Angus Dei politico

GOOD MONEY AFTER GOOD MONEY (OURS)

This is a late addition.

Before I start, there is a sad anouncement-Tony Hart has died this morning at the age of 83, I am sure you will remember him for Hartbeat, Take Hart and of course Morph, the world has lost a great talent, and I have lost yet another piece of my childhood.

Gord is at it again, he wants to set up an insurance deal so that the Government (us) underwrites the bad investments the banks have made - Insurance aid plan for UK banks. And I quote “Under the proposals, banks would examine both corporate and private customers looking for potential defaulters” and. “Our biggest banks would identify their bad loans and foolish investments, then pay a fee to a new state-backed insurer to protect themselves from the losses over a certain level."

So, it seems that banks are no longer liable for their own cock-ups, no longer responsible for the loans they made knowing that the people and companies they lent money to probably wouldn’t be able to repay, but wanted the income from interest.

It seems that WE are; WE should pour more of our money into the institutions that put us in the crap we are in.

It seems that business is no longer to be held responsible for the mistakes it makes, but mortgage holders who cannot afford to keep up their payments are still liable for the full amount although they took out their loans on the basis of hyper-inflated house prices because of the greed of those businesses (banks).

It also seems that Gord and Ali have lost the plot, they are so tunnel-visioned that they can’t see what they are doing, they are making the banks victims of the recession not the perpetrators, and as such should be propped up with billions of taxpayers money.

It seems that the Government doesn’t give stuff about the “man in the street” the pensioners, the unemployed and the sick, it seems that money is the God of Gord and Ali.

It seems that when the next election comes around Gord and Ali won’t have to worry about it because someone else will take on the yoke.

It seems that Gord and Ali’s legacy will be “We Firked up the country and then Firked off leaving the mess to someone else”.

Wouldn’t it be natural justice if Labour wins the election and they actually have to face up to their inane policies?


"Prudent people are very happy; 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to my day of Death the Humour of saying what I think."- Mary Wortley Montagu (The Complete Letters of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu)

Angus

GORD DOESN’T GIVE UP DOES HE?

BBC NEWS Our Gord is at it again -“Gordon Brown has promised to help 500,000 people into work or work-based training, as the government attempts to stop unemployment increasing further.”

“In a speech at the Science Museum in London, Mr Brown set out plans to prepare Britain for growth in sectors such as environmental technology, advanced manufacturing, healthcare and education.

He said: "Failure to act now and to do so in coordination with our international partners would mean a deeper and longer global recession.”

Gord also said-"We cannot always prevent people losing their jobs but we can help people finding their next jobs."

Cannot at all, would be more appropriate.

So, instead of preventing people losing their jobs his latest cunning plan is to let them become unemployed, then offer them “training” and extensive" job interview training.

Isn’t there something wrong with this scenario?

What next? If the number of unemployed reaches a level that the Gov thinks is too high, will we see the reintroduction of a benefit similar to “incapacity benefit”? (As the Tories did)

Or perhaps put everyone onto “training courses” which will reduce the number to zero.

Where are all the trainers going to come from?

Maybe Gord could use the people made redundant from skilled work to train the skilled unemployed workers in another skill.

The truth is-the Government and Gord in particular caused the recession, sorry the economic downturn, because of his policies of no regulation in the financial sector, now he wants us to believe that he really cares, and will produce 500,000 jobs from his Magic Hat.

Sorry Gord we are not buying it, what you need to do is put money in peoples pockets, so that the economy will restart, because if you don’t then it will be a long hard couple of years, and, at the end of it the job you wanted for eleven years or so and finally got will be handed over to David Cameron, god help us.


“It is an ancient political vehicle, held together by soft soap and hunger and with front-seat drivers and back-seat drivers contradicting each other in a bedlam of voices, shouting “go right” and “go left” at the same time.”-Adlai Stevenson-1952

Angus

GORD IS STILL GOING TO SAVE US-NOT

BBC NEWS Our Gord has come up with his latest cunning plan.

He is going to safeguard jobs during the “downturn”- still too afraid to say “recession”.

Actually his cunning plan is not to safeguard jobs but to pay employers up to £2,500 for each person they employ who has been out of work for six months or more- “As part of the summit, Work and Pensions Secretary James Purnell will give details of a £500m scheme to help people who have been out of work for more than six months.”


“Union leaders at the summit will propose more training and job creation programmes, while environmental campaigners want greater investment in energy efficiency.”

I always thought that “safeguard” was to protect workers from LOSING their jobs, this piss poor plan is yet another fumbled attempt by Labour to “spin” their way out of trouble.

We are not that stupid Gord, if you are going to “safeguard” jobs then come up with another cunning plan that addresses that problem, not one that is doomed to fail.

"The incestuous relationship between government and big business thrives in the dark."- Jack Anderson


Angus

KEEP SPINNING GORD, BECAUSE I WOULDN’T STAND STILL IF I WERE YOU.

BBC NEWS-The PM and the sideboard, sorry Cabinet are in Liverpool, Business Secretary Lord Mandelson will say “We will not repeat the mistakes made in previous recessions of retrenchment - stop-go policies in public investment have reduced Britain's competitiveness over many decades”.

The Sideboard (well it sounds better) will make momentous announcements such as “35,000 apprenticeship places in 2009 and 2010 and said the government was "doing everything to deal with what is a global financial crisis that is hitting Britain".

Small snag with that one Gord, you actually have to have companies a) still in business and b) willing to take on an apprentice when they are laying off skilled people.

Downing street-whoever the Firk that is said-“However, Downing Street believes it is a "worthwhile investment" to have the cabinet hearing people's views in different parts of the country”

So if you live in or near the “Pool” go along and see how many questions you can ask Gord and Ali.


Every one else has done it so I will make a few predictions.

Gordon brown’s nose will grow so long that he will have to employ a “nose bearer” thus helping one poor sod off the dole.

The sale of wood burning stoves will spiral out of control.

Half of the countries forests will disappear (to fuel the wood burning stoves).

The Government will print billions of new bank notes (so that people can use then to fuel the wood burning stoves and save the forests).

The tourism industry will go from strength to strength because visitors to the UK expect to be insulted and given atrocious service-it’s part of our charm.

Every household in the country will be given one cow; the cow will be connected to the gas inlet via a pipe and will provide enough methane to heat the house and hot water, as well as producing milk and fertiliser. This of course will also reduce global warming thus allowing the Government to meet its targets.


Gordon Brown will win the next election with a majority as big as a majority can be, and will become so popular that he is pronounced Queen, will move into Buck House and marry Ali Darling.

I must go now I am due for another session of CCBT.



“Don't measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability”- John Wooden


Angus

THE MAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD

No I am not talking about Stanislav Petrov , or even Jerome Kerviel (look them up) but our own grumpy, dour, prudent Scot Gordon Brown.

GB as I will call him has issued his latest commandment-BBC NEWS Politics PM 'to create 100,000 new jobs' to the country on how he will “create 100,000 jobs as part of a new initiative to curb rising unemployment.”

He said “improving the environment was part of the solution to the recession.
The government plans to bring forward £10bn of spending on public works, digital technology and environmental projects to create new jobs.
Investments will be made in eco-friendly projects such as electric cars and wind and wave power, which will create jobs.
Some 30,000 jobs are to be created in school repairs, in an attempt to help private construction firms who have suffered in the economic downturn.
Mr Brown also claimed his plans would be bigger than the multi-billion dollar "Green New Deal" planned by US president-elect Barack Obama.”

His mighty-ness is going to magic up 100,000 jobs, “with unemployment at its highest level for more than a decade and many workers facing an uncertain future, Mr Brown is keen to demonstrate a new focus on the problem.”


With an estimate of three million unemployed this year GBs belated attempt to turn back the clock is a bit like pissing into an active volcano in the hope he can save Pompeii.

Too little too late.

Another quote from GB-“ We are not going to stand by and allow nothing to be done when people are facing difficulties”

So when is he going to start? People are deep in the crap, no money no jobs, no prospects and probably no homes.

Many can only afford unhealthy food, which, will cost the NHS a substantial amount of money in the future because “healthy” food is now prerogative of the rich

Many still can’t afford to heat their homes properly, and are confined to one room.

Many can’t afford to buy their kids clothes, or give them “proper meals”.

Many won’t be able to afford the exorbitant rail fares to get to work, because GB thinks that we should pay more for public transport and not the Government, so they will have to cut back on other things such as food or heating (see the pattern?).

Many more will suffer mental or physical illness because of the stress.

Many more will be trapped in poverty because of the lack of action by GB and his cohorts.


The Government, (and it really doesn’t matter which party, because they are now all the same) saw the “crash” coming, they ignored it, they then decided that they would help the banks, and ignore the people.

Then they decided that pouring billions into the banks isn’t going to work, but “we” need to spend our way out of the recession.

Now they think that spending billions on “refurb” projects to create 100,000 jobs is the way forward.

I have come to the conclusion that the “Government” and GB in particular don’t really know their arse from their elbows: they don’t have a firkin clue what to do next, or which direction to point themselves.

GB, listen to the people, make the decision to reduce peoples costs, reduce the price of “good” food, reduce the price of gas and electricity, reduce the price of public transport (because it was your idea to get us out of our cars), reduce the costs of mortgages by resetting the mortgages to the actual worth of peoples houses (which will put hundreds of pounds in our pockets each month), reduce tax on small companies, reduce the commercial “council tax” reduce the amount we give to the EU.

They say that going on a diet is bad for you, but this diet on costs would help the people who put you in office, placed their trust in you, and to be honest you have not lived up to our expectations.

I know this isn’t my usual style (on this blog anyway) , but I can’t find anything amusing to say about GB and his so called Government, because watching our country being flushed away by inaction, inability and incompetence is not funny.


“Everyone is entitled to be stupid but some abuse the privilege.”
Anon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

And no, I am not being sarcastic, a new year, new site colours, and a new start (maybe).

It was very quiet here last night, not surprising really, unlike the rest of the world.

Just a quick rundown of some “interesting” news.

Resolutions- I never make them, and now there is proof that you shouldn’t- Resolutions 'bad for your health'.

Now I can be smug for a while.

Gordon Brown trousers is telling us that the New Year will be “tough”.

He is very quick isn’t he?

Russia is threatening to cut off gas supplies to the Ukraine, and would “do it’s best to guarantee supplies to Europe”.

So, if your heating goes off you know whom to blame.

Microsoft, my favourite software conpany (yes it is a deliberate miss-spelling), has cocked up-their software for the Zune, the IPOD look-alike.

Well, there’s a surprise!

Yet another Pillock has come up with a reason for the recession-It’s all our fault for being pessimistic!

On your bike Sir David Tang, and they say I live in another world.

Afghanistan yet another pointless death of a British soldier, He is the 137th British serviceman to die in Afghanistan since the start of operations in October 2001.

GET OUT.

And finally, the Hypocrite of 2008 goes to Gordon Brown-Trousers for his statement-

Brown's new year message hails end of 'free market dogma', because he is the Tosser who decided that the “free market with no regulation” was the future.

I must get on now, I have a “new” laptop and apart from the “qwerty” bit all the other keys are in different places to my old one, and I keep pressing the wrong one and deleting things or shifting into caps. You would think they would come up with a standardised keyboard wouldn’t you?

Angus

POVERTY, BENEFITS, THE UNDERCLASS AND THE GOVERNMENT

Long title not so long blog.

First let’s get the Psychotics out of the way.

Gordon Brown Trousers thinks he has saved the world, and Mugabe thinks that the Cholera epidemic is over.

What can you say?

Anyway back to the title- Question Time watch it, because it is very enlightening.

I watched the above program last night, as usual, but while watching it I had a “revelation”.

There were the expected questions, such as “is this a good time to “force” people on benefits into work” and the usual answers-yes and no from different panellists. Apart from the labour MP who was all in favour of it, and vomited the usual bollocks such as “support” and “preparing”, “pride” and “self esteem”.

How you prepare for a job which doesn’t exist I don’t know, because if we ever come out of this Recession the Country is going to be a very different place. And the Conservative “lady” was also in favour. (Remember that at the next election).

But the “revelation” was that all these people considered that people on benefits were in poverty and an “underclass” and that made me think.

If people on benefits are in poverty, the poverty is imposed on them by the level of benefits given, which means that the Government is responsible for that poverty.

And it is responsible because the levels of benefits are so low.

The Govs’ solution to get people out of poverty is to remove them from the benefits system and make them “ready for work” while still paying below the poverty-line benefits.

Now, I may only have one brain cell but isn’t this a bit strange?

I also watched This Week, afterwards, which is a programme I don’t usually watch because I think that the “panellists” are Pillocks and over-inflated knobheads.

But the same theme was “discussed”-benefits and the Underclass.

All present agreed that the “Benefit Reform Bill” was a wonderful idea, they even dragged in John Bird, the founder of “The Big Issue” who has plenty of money, and also agreed that the people on benefits should “pay” for those benefits, I wonder if his opinion would be the same if he hadn't become "successful"? And said things such as “People on welfare are caught in an invidious situation, because they don’t have to provide for themselves the Government becomes the breadwinner and they lose the incentive to work”.

Why is it that people with money, jobs and a bit of power, such as Mr Bird suddenly become “reformers” and spout the “PC speak” that is rife on this Island of ours instead of actually remembering what life is like for the “Underclass”?

Watch it, quite revealing as well.

My point to all this is that the Government has perpetrated Poverty by paying sub poverty benefits, has ignored the “underclass” until the financial situation which they got us into kicked them in the Bollocks, and, suddenly decides to act in their usual half arsed way when the possibility of employment is about as rare as rocking horse shit.

A bit longer than I thought, maybe I am misguided but that is the state of play as I see it.

And just to end on a brighter note-I have waited 40 years for this, the QUO has released a Christmas song, they have learned a new chord (Or maybe not) and plunged into the quagmire that is Yule Tide.

Good luck to Mr Rossi and Mr Parfitt, and lets hope there are no bloody ring tones in the wings.

Angus

TALKING HEADS

Well Gord, do you think we got away with it?

With what Ali?

You know Gord the Pre Budget thingy

Oh that, yes I’m sure we managed to
Hoodwink them again.

It will work won’t it Gord?

Of course Ali Darling, and anyway
Even if it doesn’t we can still blame
the banks for not lending any money.

No Gord I mean the VAT thingy, will it make

them spend?

It’s Ok Ali, if it works we are heroes
And if it doesn’t it’s their bloody fault
for taking the pittance we gave them
and not rushing out to the shops to spend
it.

Oh good, Gord, no problems then.

No Ali I have no problems because I am

not the Chancellor, you are

Oh good GORD!

A Solution for Gord and Ali

Second post today, just had a shower and shave and am firing on 2 ½ cylinders.

I have just had a thought that will solve our problems in one stroke.

What Gord and Ali have to do is: reset house prices,

yes, press the reset button, reduce all house prices to their current value-approx- 20% less than they are now, and reduce every ones mortgage to the same amount.

People wouldn't fall behind in their payments and repossessions wouldn't happen.

That would put hundreds of pounds in peoples pockets each month, would eliminate negative equity, and would not involve “tax cuts” now and “tax rises” in the future.

Stuff the Banks and Building Societies’; they have got enough of our money.

People would then have money, be able to spend and “kick start” the economy.

Well Gord and Ali wadya think eh?

Worth a try.

Angus