Royal dictators: Off the rails: Park and pay, and pay, and…..: Changing room rage: Hanging out in Austria: National trait: and Poo paper.

Pleasantly cool at the Castle this morn, unlike last dark thing when it was like trying to sleep in a sauna, I was woken early this morn by a passing thunderstorm which unfortunately-passed but I did get to see the lightning and hear the thunder, so off to water the hanging baskets, the wall boxes and the pots-again.

Apparently there is to be some sort of “Royal” bash next Friday, it seems that a tall, thin, balding bloke with big teeth is getting hitched to some common bird.

Angus hasn’t received his invite-just an oversight I’m sure, but among those “Lucky” enough to attend will be the Crown Prince of Bahrain whose Gulf state has violently suppressed democracy protests in recent months.

King Mswati III of Swaziland, who has been criticised by Amnesty International after using armed security forces to crush peaceful demonstrations.

And someone from Saudi Arabia.

Libya's UK ambassador had his invitation rescinded after fighting began, but Zimbabwe's ambassador to Britain, Gabriel Machinga, remains invited.

Former Labour Prime ministers Tony Blair and Gordon Brown have been overlooked.

Glad I am not going.

Allegedly Network Rail may be broken up as leaked review outlines drastic measures to cut £5bn subsidy.

Apparently millions of rail passengers face misery under dramatic plans to allow fares to rocket while closing ticket offices and firing on-board staff, The Independent on Sunday has learnt.

Leaked documents reveal that a government rail review will suggest that ticket pricing is too complex, too subsidised, over-regulated and inadequate at managing rush-hour demand. It sets out plans to slash staff numbers while proposing the de-centralisation of Network Rail and its possible break-up.

Remember-“We are all in this together”.

And continuing with rip off Britain

New figures show more than 40 councils across Britain are adding metered spaces or permit zones to streets where drivers currently park for free.

Liverpool, Gloucestershire and Blackpool are among those facing the biggest increases, in a sign that "residents parking zones" and other cash-producing charges are spreading beyond the centres of the busiest cities.

In total, at least 63 miles of new restrictions are planned – enough to stretch from London to Northampton.

"Councils are treating motorists as an easy source of revenue, using price rises to fill empty coffers," said Nigel Humphries, spokesman for the Association of British Drivers.

Official estimates made by councils indicate Britain's 30 million motorists will pay a record £1.48bn in pay-and-display charges, permits and fines this financial year, equivalent to £50 each.

It comes on top of a sharp rise in car insurance premiums in the past year while petrol was last night at an all-time high average price of £1.36 a litre. In some areas it is significantly more expensive.

The average price of two hours' on-street parking across Britain is to rise eight per cent, from £1.34 to £1.44, with more than 40 councils proposing price increases.

Critics say councils are using drivers as a cash cow, imposing inflation-busting rises to make up for severe losses in income from central Government and a freeze in council tax.

You think?

Still in busted Blighty

According to a new study three-quarters of women suffer from 'changing room rage' when they are shopping,

Cramped, cluttered and exposed fitting rooms can make trying on clothes such a traumatic experience that it manifests itself in feelings of anger, disappointment and bouts of bad temper.

The condition - dubbed CRR - can sometimes lead to shoppers snapping at retail assistants, storming out of stores and even losing self-confidence, according to the study of more than 1,200 women for isme.com.

Around 75% of shoppers questioned said they had stopped trying on clothes due to the state of changing rooms and half said they waited to try clothes on at home.

I used to quite enjoy waiting in the “clothes” shop when “M” was on a crusade to improve her wardrobe; exposed fitting rooms weren’t a problem for me….

Over to the land of-whatever

An Austrian couple tied the knot in the buff after trying to find a way to make sure they would never forget their wedding day.

Bride Melanie Schachner, 26, wore just a veil while groom Rene Schachner, 31, sported nothing but a top hat to cover his modesty when they got married in Feldkirchen.

"We're not ashamed of our bodies and we wanted to do something different. It certainly saved on a wedding dress," explained Melanie.

"It will certainly be a wedding our guests will never forget," added Rene.

The pair got hitched in a register office service in front of friends and family before celebrating in a castle.

No it wasn’t……..

British traits

More than a quarter of Britons think getting drunk abroad is a national characteristic, according to a survey released to mark England's national day.

An Opinium Research poll of 2,012 British adults found that 60 per cent thought drinking tea was a national trait, closely followed by talking about the weather.

Forty per cent associated a "stiff upper lip" mentality - stoicism in the face of adversity - with being British.

Meanwhile 32 per cent thought supporting the royal family was a British characteristic, as the country gears up for the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton on Friday.

Twenty-eight per cent thought that getting drunk abroad was a British attribute, while fewer than one in three thought working hard made people British.

"Our research has revealed that it's hard to pin down what it means to be British," said Opinium Research managing director James Endersby.

"With several stereotypical attributes making the list as well as wider personality traits, it goes to show that Britishness is a complex mix of characteristics."

Fewer than half of those surveyed in England knew April 23 was Saint George's Day.

Just 48 per cent knew the date celebrating England's patron saint - yet 57 per cent knew that Saint Patrick's Day, the Irish national day, was March 17.

In Northern Ireland, 100 per cent of those surveyed knew when Saint Patrick's Day was, while eight in 10 in Wales knew when Saint David's Day fell.

Despite the majority not knowing when Saint George's Day was, 61 per cent of English people described themselves as English rather than British.

Funny lot aren’t we……

And finally:

Forget recycled paper

The latest “green” stationary is made of Elephant crap, Michael Flancman runs the Great Elephant Poo Poo Paper Co., a unique, environmentally conscious company based in Thailand that specializes in turning elephant dung into paper goods and stationery.

Every week, Flancman and a team of employees visit elephant conservation parks near Chiang Mai to collect naturally dried elephant droppings.

After the poo is gathered, Flancman said it's carefully rinsed with water, leaving only the fibrous materials from the grasses, bamboo and fruits the elephants have eaten but couldn't digest.

Then, Flancman said, those fibers are thrown into a giant pot of boiling water to ensure an even more thorough cleansing and sterilization, leaving the fibers primed and ready to be made into paper.

Once additional fibres from pineapple plants and trees are thrown into the all-natural mix to add thickness, Flancman said his team separates the moist pulp into small cakes that are then spread over a mesh-bottomed tray and left out to dry naturally under the sun for several hours.

Once dry, the cakes transform into sheets of paper, and Flancman and his crew are able to peel them off the tray and start making Poo Poo Paper products.

Just don’t wrap your lunch in it…..

That’s it: I’m orf to laser the Honda.

And today’s thought:

Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Easter

10. You absolutely love the movie, "The Ten Commandments".

9. You look really, really good in yellow.

8. You just went on a low cholesterol diet and didn't want to waste all those eggs in the fridge.

7. You figure any Holiday that starts with a "Good Friday" can't be all bad.

6. You love to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies.

5. It's a good time to check out your neighbourhood church and not be noticed.

4. You have this bunny suit you love to wear, but are too insecure to wear it without a reason.

3. Even though you don't know what it is, you really like the sound of going to a "Passion Play."

2. You figured since Jesus went to all THAT trouble to make it to the first Easter, you'd give it a shot.

1. As a Christian you celebrate the resurrection every other day, why not Easter too?

Angus

RIP OFF BRITAIN SURVIVES THE RECESSION

There was quite a lot of news today, the USA is going to pour more troops into Afghanistan, and expect the rest of us to do the same.

The guy who threw his shoes at George W goes on trial and is facing up to 15 years. Personally I would give him a gift voucher for Barratts, and charge the so called “security” people.

18 people survived the helicopter crash in the north-sea, and good luck to them.

Jackie Smith is at last being asked to explain the £116,000 of our money she claimed in expenses for her “second home”: And rightly so.

And the man who “saved the world” is spouting off about how to “save the world”.

All of these stories can be found here in one form or another.


But the thing that caught my eye was the article on rail fares in our green and pleasant land.

Personally I don’t use trains, they are often dirty, crowded and you can’t have a fag, so I drive.

But for the millions of people that do the cost of getting to work is rising at a staggering rate, Passenger Focus said "turn up and go" fares to London from elsewhere in the UK generally cost more than similar journeys in other European countries.

On average, fares were 50% higher in Britain than on the continent.

The Gov of course plays down the prices “but ministers said fares had fallen relative to earnings.” whose earnings?

The Passenger Focus report said “it also found that passengers wanting to travel at short notice or who needed flexibility in journey times would generally be charged more, compared with European ticket-buyers.

For example, in Britain long-distance turn-up-and-go fully flexible day-return fares to the principal city (London) were 87% more expensive than in the next most expensive country surveyed - Germany.”

“This type of British fare was also more than three times more expensive than in the cheapest country surveyed - the Netherlands.

British annual season tickets for journeys of no more than 25 miles were 88% more expensive than the next most expensive country - France - and more than four times pricier than the cheapest country - Italy.”


I think I may have said this before but the Government keeps telling us to “get out of our cars” and use public transport, which millions do, only to be ripped off by the train companies with above inflation fare hikes.

Transport minister Andrew Adonis said the government was committed to "sharing the cost of rail services fairly between taxpayers and passengers".

"It is estimated it would cost taxpayers an extra £500m a year to bring UK commuter fares in line with these other European countries, which are more heavily subsidised," he said.

Which is a drop in the ocean compared to the billions they have poured in to the banks, and has benefitted no one.

He argued that since 1997, regulated fares had fallen sharply relative to earnings, and that with inflation now falling, train fares would drop further.

If the Government wants to protect jobs allowing the rail companies to increase fares above inflation is not tenable, if it costs people more just to get to work it means that there is less to spend in the economy, it seems to me that the Gov is protecting the private companies and bugger the rest of us.

I will keep using my car, it is comfortable, un-crowded and I can listen to a CD or the radio, and of course I can smoke that is until they ban that on health and safety grounds.

“My favorite thing is to go where I've never been.” Diane Arbus


Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico