National Harm Service: JC balls up: Signs of the “end of the world”: Climb every staircase: Not Mushroom for art: and The Dwarven Helm.

Still chucking it dahn, still a lot of lack of warm, still not a glimmer of solar stuff and still being blasted by atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, the toofache is a bit better after several doses of antibiotics and his Maj has decided that the nice dry litter tray is preferable to sitting in the rain to do his business.

 

All across Foundation Trust Blighty

Patients both young and old are being killed by piss poor treatment, by even piss poorer medics and some “nurses” that would be more at home in a slaughter house.

That is not to say that most of those unfortunate enough to end up in ‘Orspital manage to leave alive and in reasonable health, but there does seem to be a growing number of patients that do not.

And the reason for this downturn in “care”....

 

My belief is that it has been the “Foundation Trust” frenzy, that point where financial targets replaced patient care, where ‘Orspitals were given autonomy from control and allowed to do as they wish.

The point where patients became a financial drain, “clients” or “customers”, where nurses became “assets”, doctors became even more egotistical than they were and “the management” became lord of the wards.

I have seen it first hand, my local butchers shop (Grimly Dark); before “Foundation trust status” was a reasonable place to be ill, it was a bit shoddy but the attitude of the medical staff was almost human until “it” happened, then the atmosphere changed, those in the beds were downgraded from the priority of all and sundry to a cost effective bag of organs to be moved along the conveyer belt as quickly and cheaply as possible to emerge (or not) at the exit whether they were cured (or not).

And the only control of the management lords is the CQC which is about as much use as the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition when it comes to looking after our wellbeing.

 

So a plea to “those in power”, rescind the Foundation Trust status of our ‘Orspitals, return control to the people, do away with the boards of directors, the multiple layers of management, the atmospheric salaries paid to those who rule, spend the money on better training and more importantly better nurses and doctors, better facilities for the ill and a better NHS for those who actually pay for it.

 

Meanwhile east to the land of stables and childbirth

Apparently according to archaeologist Aviram Oshri JC wasn’t born in Bethlehem on the West Bank south of Jerusalem but in Bethlehem of the Galilee 7 kilometres from Jesus’ childhood home, Nazareth.

Allegedly there is proof, according to the archaeologist, that what Israelis call Judea – the other Bethlehem in the West Bank – was not even inhabited when Jesus was born.

 

Ooops.....

 

West a fair amount to the place where there are not a lot of plumbers or builders

Residents of Koniec Swiata have accused outsiders, who believe the Mayan apocalypse prophecy, of nicking the towns signs and making their daily lives difficult.

‘Our name means literally End Of The World, so once the doomsday hunters found this out they wouldn’t leave us alone,’ said 50-year-old local Roman Adamus.

‘We’ve lost six of them this year so enough is enough and they’re coming down.’

Irritated neighbour Marianna Warszawska added the people that were pinching the signs were causing a lot of problems.

‘I’ve lived here all my life and these people are a bloody nightmare,’ the 85-year-old said.

‘Hopefully they’ll leave us alone when the world doesn’t end.’

 

 Seems that her wish may come true....

 

East again this time to the land of everything

 

A 300-foot staircase along a mountain face in the Taihang Mountains in Linzhou, China is the next best thing if you want the same feeling you get when mountain climbing. The hike up the stairs provides a great experience one will not easily forget, and no special gear is needed.

 And the snags-However, due to safety and health concerns, the management has qualifications before anyone is allowed to ascend. Climbers must be under 60 years of age and are asked to fill out a form confirming that they do not have heart or lung problems.

 

Glad I’m 61.....

 

West to the land of fiscal cliffs

Boston-based artist Corey Corcoran uses mushrooms as canvases for his original illustrations.

The size of his works ranges from six inches to two feet, depending on the mushroom canvas, and the theme mostly revolves around plant life, insects, and people.

 

Edible art-nice….

 

And finally:

 

Fancy something to keep your dwarf warm?

Well now you can purchase the dwarven beard, helm forged from yarn for your favourite small person.

 

Must get one for the butler...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to buy a bullet ticket

 

And today’s thought:

Time to get fit.

 

Angus

Nice one ‘Gov’: The art of “Lords”: Cheesy goodness: Rondon Blidge has just gorn up: Pools and cons in Athens: and living the double entendre.

Dawn’s crack was nice and clear at the Castle this morn, it is a mere 88f in the master bedroom and a ‘cool’ 76f dahn in the kitchen and as I sit here wearing my new shorts a nice cool breeze is caressing my knees.

His Maj has buggered orf to find somewhere cool in the garden and since having the furnace “serviced” a few days ago I have no hot water.

And Blogger is doing strange things to my ramblings...

Up in the Smoke

It seems that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has finally gorn and done it- Britain is in its longest double-dip recession for more than 50 years, according to official figures expected today.

Analysts believe gross domestic product (GDP) shrunk by about 0.2 per cent between April and June, its third consecutive three-month period of contraction. That would be the longest double-dip recession since quarterly records began in 1955 and is believed to be the worst since the Second World War. The last, in the 1970s, lasted only two quarters. 

Son of a .......Baronet and alien reptile in disguise George (what recession) Osborne defended the figures and is expected to point to Britain's low borrowing costs and to argue that the eurozone crisis is harming growth prospects in the UK.

The fact that the person in the street doesn’t have any money and is unable to buy things thus keeping “manufacturing” in the Gov rear exit seems to have completely missed what passes for a brain of the Bullingdon Bum Boy...

In the upper bit of the leaning tower of Westminster

As the unemployed exist on less than £70 per week Peers spent tens of thousands of pounds-worth of taxpayers’ money last year on paintings and other art despite the public spending squeeze.

Figures disclosed by Lords’ authorities’ show that in 2011/12 the House of Lords Works of Art Collection Fund spent nearly £175,000 on paintings and statues.

The amount spent is a 10-fold increase on the year before when just £18,000 was spent on works of art

The haul for 2011/12 included a £7,500 portrait of Viscountess Rhondda, by Alice Mary Burton, and a £25,200 House of Lords silver centrepiece by Brett Payne.

The Collection also spent £8,500 on a bust of Prince Philip, and a £5,000 watercolour by Robert Weir Allan of Queen Victoria’s Jubilee Procession on Whitehall.

The largest sum - £108,000 - went on new art bought especially for new peers’ offices at Millbank House in Westminster.

The collection has more than 8,000 works of art – of which 20 per cent are not on display throughout the House of Lords.

The earliest pieces in the collection date from the medieval age, with “major holdings dating from the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries” as well as some modern art.

A spokesman for the Lords said: "“The House of Lords works of art budget for purchases has been halved from £50,000 in 2010/11 to £25,000 in 2011/12. There will be no grant in 2012/13.

“In September 2011 the House of Lords opened a large new office block in Milbank House. A separate grant of £135,000 was provided to purchase works of art for the new building.

I see we are still “all in this together”....




According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition

Scientists say the chances of developing type two diabetes could be 12 per cent lower for those who love cheeses.

Although high in saturated fat, it may be rich in types of the fat that could be good for the body, they believe.
The findings on the effect of cheese, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, come from one of the largest ever studies to look at the role of diet in health.

One reason why cheese lovers may be at less risk of diabetes could be that the fermentation process triggers some kind of reaction that protects against diabetes and heart problems, the researchers said.



Two snags:
 1. The charity Diabetes UK warned against eating more cheese until the results were confirmed in other studies.

Dr Iain Frame, director of research, said: “It is too simplistic to concentrate on individual foods.

“We recommend a healthy balanced diet, rich in fruit and vegetables and low in salt and fat.

2. And I can’t afford to buy cheese anymore anyway....

East to the land of one child families

At about 200 miles northwest of Shanghai, in China’s Jiangsu province, London’s Tower Bridge was added to the replica collection of famous landscapes from around the world.

This collection includes even the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Alexandre III Bridge.

In addition to these famous structures, there’s a Dutch-like town in the area, complete with windmills and Dutch-style houses.

Often called as the “Venice of the East,” Suzhou is like a second home to China’s Venetian tourists.

Even the “English-style coffee” that everyone loves so much is available at the café at the top of the Tower Bridge.

The only thing that the Chinese Tower Bridge is missing is the raising mechanism to let boats pass by. Otherwise, it looks almost identical to the original one.

Ronderful...

West a fair way to the place where the Olympics started

Allegedly Greece's largest maximum security prison won't get to keep its waterfall-adorned, barbecue-equipped pool.

The Justice Ministry on Tuesday ordered the destruction of a 7.4-meter (24-foot) long pool in the yard of Korydallos prison's psychiatric wing, saying the structure was built without permission and did not comply with health and safety standards.

The pool's existence at the jail near Athens was reported by a newspaper Sunday. The ministry said the structure, reportedly built last year, includes a small rock waterfall and a poolside barbecue installation.

Greece's Prison Officers Association said the pool was built using money the group raised and was restricted to staff and inmates at the psychiatric wing. Korydallos houses some 2,300 inmates, with about 300 receiving some form of psychiatric care.

Overcrowding at Greek prisons has worsened since the start of the country's major financial crisis in late 2009, according to the Justice Ministry and the prison officers association, due to a spike in violent crime and prosecutions for tax-related offenses.

Ah; the old Elfandsafety no pool ploy....

 

And finally:


All across our hot and sweaty land there lurks a veritable volume of naughty names.

We have:

Beaver Close, Surrey

Bell End, Worcestershire

Rimswell, East Riding of Yorkshire

Felch Square, Powys

Fine Bush Lane, Ruislip

Minge Lane, Worcestershire

Dick Court, Lanarkshire

Slag Lane, Merseyside

Hole of Horcum, North York Moor

Cockshoot Close, Oxfordshire

Spanker Lane, Nether Heage

Funbag Drive, Watford

Fanny Avenue, Derbyshire

Shitterton, Dorset

Lickfold, West Sussex

Ladygate Lane, Ruislip

Twatt - there's two! One in Shetland and another in Orkney

Cocks, Cornwall

Cockermouth, Cumbria

Fanny Hands Lane, Lincolnshire

Friars' Entry, Oxfordshire

Fingringhoe, Essex

Crotch Crescent, Oxfordshire

Cumming Court, Gloucestershire 

And my personal favourite: 

Butt Hole Road, South Yorkshire

Don’t you just love Blighty...

That’s it: I’m orf to check out Afghanistan-not for the oil or gas of course

And today’s thought:

Olympic dairy farm

Angus

Bent coppers: The Brownessie: Hair today (again): Reindeer ride: Seatbelt art: and the Marble Caves of Chile Chico.

Warmish, wettish, cloudyish and calmish at the Castle this morn, spent most of yestermorn gathering “stuff” for the recycling centre, think I need a bigger car...

And the electric fence has been erected around the moat to prevent water tealeaves-the only snag is that the butler has to power it with the cyclegen...

Allegedly some plod are not very law abiding

More than 900 police staff abused their access to confidential databases over a three-year period, it has been claimed.

The research findings from civil liberties group Big Brother Watch (BBW), which cover 2007 to 2010, were described by BBW director Daniel Hamilton as "astonishing".

Two hundred and forty three staff and officers received criminal convictions for breaching the Data Protection Act (DPA), and 98 lost their jobs, a freedom of information request revealed.

Many of the searches included background checks on friends and potential partners, but the information was also at times used in a far more sinister manner.

Mr Hamilton said: "Some have been convicted for passing sensitive information to criminal gangs and drug dealers. This is at best hugely intrusive and, at worse, downright dangerous."

The findings follow allegations that Andy Coulson, who served as David Cameron's communications director at No 10 for four years, paid the police in order to receive privileged information.

Emails handed over by News Corp appear to show that Mr Coulson, then News of the World editor, authorised payments made by staff to police.

A News Corp spokesman told Vanity Fair: "It is correct to state that new information has recently been provided to the police.

In Merseyside a combined total of 208 police officers and staff faced internal disciplinary action for "viewing a computer record relating to a high profile arrest."

Meanwhile in Lancashire one member of police staff was found guilty of disclosing confidential policing information on Facebook, whilst another received just a written warning for conducting 53 criminal record checks "for no obvious policing purpose".

 

To steal and sell on.....

Up to the place where water is abundant

Sightings of a creature not dissimilar to the Loch Ness Monster have caused a stir in the normally quiet waters of the Lake District.

Local swimmer Tom Noblett, world record holder in fresh water swimming, thinks he was within feet of the creature whilst out for a morning swim.

Photographer Linden Adams also claims to have seen the creature and has captured it on camera.

The picture is now being analysed by experts in forensic visual computing.

If it’s Nessie on its hols, I hope it has a passport...

Still in baldish Blighty

Apparently desperate mums are cutting off and selling their own hair to make ends meet in hard-up Britain.

The craze for extensions fuelled by Jordan and Britney Spears has led to dealers paying £150 a time for 20inch plaits of human hair.

And women struggling to cope with rising prices and a lack of jobs are chopping off their own locks as they look at new ways of ­making money.

Single mother-of-two Hayley Harding, of Leeds, sold 14 ­inches of her brown hair last month for £70. “Losing my hair was tough but it freed up cash for my kids,” she said. “Having children can be very expensive and cutting my hair off has allowed me to buy them music books.

“I’d much rather my kids get what they need than me walk around with long locks that could be worth money. It is about your priorities, I guess.”

Rosemary Looker, 48, of Newark-on-Trent, Notts, sold 19in of her brunette hair for £60 after she was made ­redundant. “I’ve always had hair below my waist and when I lost my job friends suggested I make some money out of it,” she said. “It helped pay bills. Things are so tough; I might have to do it again.”

Teacher Sarah Winfield got her ­hairdresser to cut 15in off her dark brown hair and sold it for £65 after her boyfriend lost his job. “I’ve always liked my long hair,” said Sarah, 25, of Lincoln. “But it was a no-brainer when I realised cutting it off would help pay some of our bills.”

Thanks U-Turn Dave...

Right to the place where people live in cars for months

A driver in the far north of Norway found an inventive way to transport his reindeer: he packed three in the back seat of his car and two in the trunk and drove off, The Local Norway reported.

None was wearing a seatbelt.

The Local said police were astonished to spot the antlered heads in the back seat of the Subaru Forester and then find the other two in the luggage compartment.

The unidentified driver claimed he had received clearance from the Norwegian Food Safety Authority to transport five of his reindeer from Karasjok to Børselv, a journey of some 62 miles (100 km).

Glad I didn’t have to clean the car out afterwards....

Left to the home of the Midget and the land of recycling

Ann Conte and Jeanne Wiley have managed to renovate an old, beat-up car, by weaving it a new body, out of seat belt material.

The two artists set their sights on a 1960′s MG Midget that was used as support for firewood, in an American backyard. Their project was all about “recycling, reusing, repurposing and sustainability” so they decided to give their Midget a woven look. And what better material to use, than overstock seat belt material (over 500 yards of it). After weaving the body, the two simply bolted it to the car’s metal skeleton.

The seats of this woven vehicle are made of a partially recycled material, known as Corian Terra, and the headlights and tail lights are handmade ceramic. Conte and Wiley’s recycled car can be admired as part of a new exhibit at the South Shore Art Centre, in Cohasset, MA.

The ironic thing is that it doesn’t have any seatbelts…

And finally:

Dahn a lot to the not very warm place

In Chile the Marble Caves, or Cuevas de Mármol, are allegedly one of the most exhilarating and stunning caves to be found anywhere in the world.

The caves, made entirely of marble, were formed when water penetrated the huge blocks of rock and carved them in such a way that they formed beautiful caves and tunnels within the rocks.

Tourists can take a boat ride through the inner tunnels with a local tour company.

 Reminds me of gobstoppers....

That’s it: I’m orf to break Moore’s Law

And today’s thought:

Apple Pi?

Angus

Another fine mess: Moody credit: Pickled squid: Swanning around: Real woodentops: No-no pussy: and Dogs are pants.

No deep, crisp or even at the castle this morn-the rain has washed it all away, the liquid metal in the gauge has begun its rise to the top, his Maj has decided that he would rather do his business in his litter tray than in the garden to keep his paws dry and the butler has taken a few well earned days rest.

The fallic glu is still hanging around-I have this urge to go on strike and then apply for the Presidential job...

And allegedly fraudulent insurance claims are pushing up our premiums

The economic climate is causing a rise in the number of exaggerated insurance claims, a survey suggests.

In the survey, 9% of people who said they had made a claim in the last five years said they had exaggerated it, typically adding £607 to the claim.


Earlier this year, the House of Commons Transport Select Committee said car insurance costs could be substantially reduced if claimants were made to provide more proof that they had suffered whiplash injuries.

Over the last six years, despite a 23% fall in the number of casualties caused by road accidents, there has been a 70% rise in motor insurance injury claims in the past six years, with the vast majority of them being claims of whiplash injury.

Maybe they should change the criteria for whiplash-if you are admitted to 'Orspital in such a position that you can see your own arsehole then that's a yes....

Up in the Smoke and further up to the bit above Suffolk

The Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) fined Croydon Council in south London £100,000 after papers containing details of a child sex abuse victim were stolen from a pub.

Norfolk County Council was also fined £80,000 for sending details about allegations against a parent and the welfare of their child to the wrong person, taking the total amount of fines handed out by the ICO to more than £1 million.

Their “bad”, but it isn’t the councils that have to pay up, it’s the council tax payers, how about making the knobs at the top personally responsible...

And apparently a credit rating agency in the big place on the left

Has put the UK on negative outlook, meaning it thinks there is more chance the economy may lose its triple A status.

Moody’s have also “graded” France and Austria, who also share a top triple A rating, and Spain and Portugal's ratings have been lowered.

The negative outlook for the UK means Moody's think there is a 30% chance of a downgrade within 18 months.

No real surprise there, but since when did a private company in another country get to decide what will happen to Blighty?

Back in the Smoke

Archie is entombed in a custom-made acrylic tank filled with a 10% solution of formol-saline; the giant squid at the centre of the London Natural History Museum Spirit Collection was caught off the coast of the Falkland Islands in March 2004.

The 8.62 meter long creature is an Architeuthis dux, or giant squid, and known at the museum as "Archie." Although enormous, the giant squid is not actually the largest of the feared semi-mythical undersea ship eaters: that position of honour is reserved for the colossal squid, or Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni.

The Spirit Collection at the London Natural History Museum holds about 22 million preserved zoological specimens, including the original collections of Sir Hans Sloane, an adventurous 18th century traveller and collector, who also is known for having introduced the drinking of chocolate milk to Europe. His collection alone numbered some 80,000 items. The new Darwin Centre opened in September 2009.

No wonder life on earth is becoming extinct.

Dahn to the bit next to West Sussex

The East Sussex Wildlife Rescue and Ambulance Service received 27 reports of a "frozen swan" sitting for hours in the icy Pells Pond in Lewes and were obliged to visit the bird each time the alarm was raised.

The charity's founder, Trevor Weeks, thanked onlookers for their concern but said that the bird is actually keeping warm, The Brighton Argus reported.

"Every time we have attended, the swan has not been stuck," he said.

Most calls reported that the swan had a leg stuck in the ice, when it was actually tucked under its feathers to keep warm.

I’ve been to Lewes-no wonder the poor thing is bored out of its mind....

From the land of Fiats

A man with a real talent:

Bruno Walpoth
Bressanone, Italy, 1959
1973 − 1978 sculptor's apprenticeship with Vincenzo Mussner - Ortisei
1978 − 1984 academy "Der Bildende Künste" in Munich, with Prof. Hans Ladner
1985 − 2008 teacher at the vocational school for sculptors in Selva Val Gardena
1996 foundation of the sculptor's group "Trisma"
with Willy Verginer and Walter Moroder
Since 2000 member of the "Südtiroler Künstlerbund"

From the company that slows dahn the interweb

Boffins at Goggle have used a complex algorithm and their computing power to discover what we already knew… a video of a cat saying 'no' is funny.

Researchers looked at the comments on videos to determine whether viewers had found them funny and identified candidates for YouTube’s Comedy Slam.

Google Researcher Sanketh Shetty, said: "We computed more text features based on words associated with amusement in comments.

"These included (a) sounds associated with laughter such as hahaha, with culture-dependent variants such as hehehe, jajaja, kekeke, (b) web acronyms such as lol, lmao, rofl, (c) funny and synonyms of funny, and (d) emoticons such as :), ;-), xP."

Members of the public were then asked to vote on the Comedy Slam where No No No No Cat received the most votes.

Thank what’s his/her name for algorithms...mind you it is funny.

And finally:

Up to the County that is famous for its intellectual TV series

A dog walker was photographed slowly edging his way across the frozen River Stour in the village of Dedham, Essex, to save his pet.

However, he ended up having to swim to safety after the ice suddenly gave way and the man fell in to the freezing water 30ft from the bank.

He managed to haul his small terrier-type dog onto the ice before clambering back to dry land.

Still at least he is reinforcing my opinion of said dwellers...

That’s it: I’m orf to turn the Honda into a structural batteryOnds

And today’s thought;

Angus

Fromage a la Smoke: Beeb bonuses: Big Apple-big bills: Matchstick man: BMW box woes: Museum of moving lingerie: and a Bum gun.

‘Tis cold, crispy and calm yet again at the Castle this morn, the study is overwhelmed with wonky what knots and his Maj has discovered the joy of shredding the shower curtain. 

I spent an hour or so in the garden trying to move a large “mock orange” shrub, after digging all the way round the roots and then attacking the hole with my new axe, shoving a pry bar underneath it and jumping up and down on the handle, digging even more soil out around the blessed thing it hasn’t even moved a smidge-think I need a plan “B”.

And a happy 70^th birthday to Mohammed Ali-he was the greatest.

Up in the Smoke

There is a new experience; L'Art Du Fromage, the first speciality cheese restaurant in Britain. The menu is built around cheese-based dishes: there are fondues, raclettes, a glorified version of cheese on toast and even cheese ice cream.

Mr Ledogar and his business partner Jean-Charles Madenspacher, who are both 24, have left their village outside Strasbourg, Alsace, to move to the UK. Their mission: to banish the British obsession with mild cheddar and ignite an altogether fierier relationship with aged milk curd.

Their restaurant, off London's King's Road, near Chelsea, has just opened for business.

The cheeseboard offers Roquefort (replete with the Penicillium roqueforti fungus and its "healing properties") and Langres (bathed in Champagne), and one of the dearest, the Salers de Buron.

Opening day didn’t go too well, the sole couple tucking into their cheeseboard lunch at L'Art Du Fromage were actually French relatives of the proprietors.

 

Good luck with that-I hope Worrall Thompson doesn’t get a whiff.....

Staying in the capital

Allegedly four senior BBC executives have been paid hundreds of thousands of pounds in bonuses despite a pledge by the director-general to scrap the payouts.

The managers shared around £275,000 in top-up payments last year, Chris Kane, receiving £155,000 in addition to his £206,000 salary, according to the flailing sail, Chief technology officer John Linwood received a bonus of £70,000 last year, making his total pay £358,000 - a total which included a pay rise of £40,000.

On Demand general manager Daniel Danker, who is responsible for the "strategy and delivery" of the iPlayer catch-up service and Red Button interactive services, was awarded £40,000, taking his total pay package to £213,000.

Human resources director of vision, north and nations Claire Dyer received an additional payment of £11,000.

Nice to see that our license money is going to good causes....

Left to the land of the sick and the home of the computer error

Patients at a Bronx hospital are getting billed for tens of millions of dollars because of a computer error.

Alexis Rodriguez says he almost had an asthma attack when he received a bill for $44.8 million from the Bronx-Lebanon Hospital Centre.

Rodriguez told the New York Daily News that he was hospitalized last spring with pneumonia and was afraid the bill was legit.

Turns out the company that prepares the bills had mistakenly put the invoice number in the space where the invoice amount should go.

The billing company is telling patients to ignore the multi-million-dollar bills. It is sending out corrected ones.

There was no immediate response from the hospital on Monday, which was a holiday.

That’s one way to cut the waiting lists....

Right more than a lot

Bulgarian artist Plamen Ignatov, has spent the last 16 years of his life making a detailed matchstick model of the Rila Monastery, from around 6 million sticky things that come in small boxes.

Rila Monastery is the largest and most famous Orthodox monasteries in Bulgaria, and is regarded as one of the most important cultural and historical monuments in Southern Europe. It is also listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. 

Never heard of it, and I hope he has fire insurance…

And talking of things that come in small boxes

Nearly 30,000 Mini Coopers are to be recalled in Britain after makers detected an electrical fault which could lead cars to catch fire.

German car maker BMW said the recall concerns 235,000 vehicles worldwide.

Safety checks revealed a problem which can cause the water pump to fail, potentially causing the car to overheat.

Manufacturers are investigating one case in Britain where a fire is being linked to the water pump, a spokesman said.

The recall relates to two models - the Mini Cooper S and the Mini John Cooper Works.

The company said owners will be issued with a recall notice in the next few weeks.

But a spokesman insisted the vehicles remain safe to drive and there is a "very low incidence" of the fault.

It seems that BMW are getting very close to British Leyland’s “that’ll do” mantra.

Right a whimsy to the land of cheesy museums and a big metal tower

Paris's Musee D'Orsay is threatening to sue a lingerie company after three models paraded around the museum in bras and knickers.

Works by artists such as Van Gough and Renoir had to compete with models from lingerie firm Etam for the eyes of bewildered spectators.

The models were filmed for a video intended as a viral marketing campaign. It starts with the girls waiting outside the art gallery in trench coats.

Once the models are inside the gallery they shed their overcoats to reveal their scantily-clad bodies to astonished art lovers.

However, the museum was not amused by the stunt and has called the incident "a serious infringement of the Orsay's rights and the rights of others".

The museum's director has reportedly threatened legal action against Etam if the lingerie maker does not remove the video from its website.

Now that is art…..

 And finally: 

Back over to the right to bear arms place

Police in Georgia believe that despite multiple searches after a traffic violation , a suspect managed to sneak a 10-inch gun into a prison last Monday by concealing the weapon in his rectum.

One day later, officers confiscated the .38 revolver from the jail cell of Michael Leon Ward, arrested Jan. 9, a statement from the Onslow County Sheriff's Office explains.

They'd performed a strip search on Ward and even required that he "squat and cough" to see if he held any contraband, but nothing turned up, according to MSNBC.

He was initially arrested because police allegedly found drugs and related paraphernalia during the traffic stop.

Jailhouse guards discovered the handgun in the toilet after other inmates reported Ward.

 

Ye gods! I pity the poor sod that has to clean it.

That’s it: I’m orf to get me face scanned.

And today’s thought:

Angus

Ooh Aar Tourist tax: Toothy, toothy Crems: But is it art?: Hamster abuse: Shrek gets stuffed: and Upwell Elfandsafety.

Bit iffy at the castle this morn, cloudy, more than a bit cold but calm, his Majesty has now discovered the joy of diving under the duvet and attacking my feet at three in the am, the kitchen is full of ailing thingymajigs and it seems we are heading for a drought.

No politics today, same old, same old, but I see that the Church is not happy with the Millionaires Club Coalition, the Piss Poor Policy of welfare to work begins today, and: Prince Phil has decided that now he is Ninety he will “slow down” and have a bit of a rest.

Considering he has done fuck all “proper” work for the last seventy years his life won’t change that much.

Down in the County of surfing, extortionate car parking charges and lots of hills

It seems that the knobs want to rip off tourists even more. Under plans disclosed on Thursday tourists could be charged £1 for every night they stay throughout the county.

Town Hall bosses are investigating the tax proposals that they say will help pay for up-keeping infrastructure as the number of visitors dramatically increases in the summer months.

The council estimates such a “tourist tax” will raise an extra £25 million in revenue.

According to latest council figures, Cornwall's population swells from about 500,000 to more than five million during summer months. This, the council argued, places enormous pressure on the county and local services.

That should make Devon a lot more tempting...

And apparently it is going to cost even more to die

The cost of cremations is going up – because of toxic mercury fillings in the teeth of the dead.

By 2013 all UK crematoria must have filters to stop the metal leaking into the atmosphere when bodies are burnt.

Already Barnsley Council has increased fees by £18 to cover the added cost.

Do you get a discount if you have dentures?

Up in the smoke

When park workers removed a graffiti-covered discarded mattress, they had no idea they were dismantling a piece of modern art worth £1,000. The apparent rubbish was a work by Johnny Doe as part of the Art Free For All exhibition in Alexandra Park, north London. One of the organisers realised the workers' mistake in time and stopped them before they reached the tip.

The exhibition features works by 35 artists dotted around the park. Telegraph photographer Eddie Mulholland wandered around Alexandra Park taking pictures of objects that caught his eye.

Load of old bollocks (and rubbish).

Across the channel

The European Union's highest court officially reprimanded France for not doing enough to care for hamsters.

The Court determined the country had shown a lack of due care towards its dwindling population of the rodents

Things may be looking up for Frogs....

Dahn Unda and right a bit

Museums are vying to display the remains of New Zealand's most famous sheep, Shrek, and a church memorial in his honour has been postponed to accommodate global media interest, reports said Friday.

The merino became a celebrity in 2004, when he was found in a mountain cave six years after wandering off from his flock. He was sporting a massive fleece that made him appear three times his normal size.

The fleece was sheared for charity and weighed in at 27 kilograms (60 pounds), around six times the wool normally gathered from the average merino.

News of Shrek's death this week made the front pages of New Zealand newspapers and led television bulletins in a nation where sheep outnumber the human population of 4.3 million by almost 10 to one.

Mindful of the sheep's immense popularity, museums are reportedly keen to put Shrek's body on public display, a move that would confirm his status as a New Zealand icon alongside 1930s racehorse Phar Lap.

The country's national museum, Te Papa in Wellington, told the New Zealand Press Association (NZPA) it was in negotiations to exhibit the famous ovine.

Mutton dressed as a cardigan?

And finally:

Back in Blighty

Upwell Primary school plans to ban mums and dads from the annual sports day because of some parents’ concerns about their children mixing with “strangers”.

Now the Norfolk school could hold it behind closed doors for the first time in its 130-year history

Many parents are furious at the proposed ban which comes after members of the public attended a kids’ art event at Upwell – some parents kept their kids at home over concerns for pupils’ safety in mixing with visitors.

One angry mum said if the sports day ban went ahead many would keep their kids off school in protest. She fumed: “This is going to upset parents even more.”

Head teacher James McBurney said it had been a tough decision. He said: “It is with the greatest and sincerest regret that, in light of recent events, Sports Day is likely to take place without parents being invited.

“But we are prepared to postpone Sports Day until June 29 and decide nearer the time.”

Paranoid or what?

That’s it: I’m orf to cancel my Olympic tickets.

And today’s thought: Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

Angus