Entwistle's exit (with our money): Dorries Dahn Unda (Dahn Unda): How to harvest a Numpty: Dead elections: Greggs gets ‘em orf: and Japan’s gadgets that failed.

Definite lack of warm, diddly amounts of atmospheric movement, not even a dash of solar stuff and oodles of condensed skywater at the Castle this morn.

 

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco- still a shambles, still infested with interweb robots, and still expensive; but afterwards I parked over the other side of the car park and decided to have a walk to the new Morrisons that has finally opened, bloody nightmare, it is all up hill and you have to pass four or five locked entrances to get to the main door, I tried the lift at “street level” but it wasn’t working so I staggered dahn the two sets of steps to the store, the place was almost empty of bargain hunters.

The reason why is that by some strange coincidence the prices of stuff is almost the same as Tesco, cat food-exactly the same, own make soup-bit dearer, bread-bit cheaper, fruit-the same because Tesco has adopted the one squid pack for fruit and veg, but it isn’t polluting the atmosphere with dry ice.

Other stuff roughly the same prices, so I purchased some bread and left, then had to stagger up the two sets of steps (because the lift to street level wasn’t working) and nursed my knackered left hip back to the Honda.

 

Which I suppose goes to prove the old adage-be careful what you wish for....

 

Meanwhile up at Aunties place

It seems that George (I couldn’t find my arse if there was a BBC cameraman hanging out of it) Entwistle has walked away with £450,000 of our license fee money for 54 days “work”.

After doing sod all since he was appointed on the 17^th of September and denying all knowledge of everything that happened under his “leadership” the twat resigned and has been paid a year’s salary.

And it gets even better-according to the Torygraph no nuts Entwistle walks orf with the golden handshake and a £877,000 pension pot to put in his bulging wallet. 

Now: I don’t know about you but if I signed a contract to work for an organisation and was completely useless at the job I would not expect to be paid for a year after only a couple of months, in fact I would probably have been sacked and prosecuted for obtaining money under false pretences not rewarded by the general public for being a useless Tosser.

It really is time to dump the license fee for a few adverts.

 

And Dahn Unda

Dorries is going even further Dahn Unda, nadger Nadine and Helen Flanagan are going to be buried for ten minutes while thousands of buggy things will be dropped in every sixty seconds. 

Worth every penny of the 15p I spent on the phone call...roll on tonight...

 

Left across the not quite as windy salty thing

 

 

A man napping in a Montana cornfield was startled out of his snooze when he was run over by a large harvesting machine - and Yellowstone County deputies say he's lucky to be alive.

Sheriff's Lt. Kent O'Donnell says the 57-year-old man had been travelling the country by bus and decided to take a rest three rows deep in a field on the outskirts of Billings, the state's largest city.

A farmer harvesting Wednesday felt his combine hit something. When he turned the machine off, he heard screaming.

Emergency responders found the man's clothing had been sucked into the cutter, ensnaring him in the blades.

O'Donnell says the man, whose name was not released, suffered cuts requiring stitches and may need skin grafts, but given the circumstances is "incredibly lucky."

 
Fields of gold-and red....

 

Still in the home of the voter and the land of the deceased

Allegedly voters in Florida and Alabama managed to elect two dead politicians in this week's US elections.

Earl K Wood, a Democrat standing in Florida, and Alabama Republican Charles Beasley both recorded convincing victories, despite the fact that they died weeks before the polls took place.

 

No wonder Obama won...

 

Back in baking Blighty

 

Women staff at a branch of bakers Greggs stripped for charity and covered their modesty with buns and biscuits.

The ­calendar is on sale at every one of the 1,650 Greggs shops across the UK.

Priced at £5 it has been flying off the shelves as fast as the sausage rolls and is on course to raise more than £100,000 for the BBC Children in Need appeal.

 

Good for them-nice cherries...

 

East to the land where nuclear stuff has never been seen

Here are a few “inventions” that never got orf the ground.

The walking toaster: which has a slit entrance for the slice of bread, which is then "walked" vertically down inside the toaster on metal rails and eventually emerges at the other end,

 Iwatsu Electric's "Both Phone" - two telephones attached back to back with only one receiver, apparently to allow someone to make calls from either side. But only one at a time.

Fuji Electric's double-decked electric fan - the "Silent Pair", which definitely is a pair, but not exactly silent.

The "Sharp Cinema Super" is a radio in the shape of a television and cost 10,900 yen ($108) - a little more than a month's salary for an elite public servant of the time.

Panasonic's television-shaped gas stove GSF-1 is the most expensive model among a range of gas heaters the company sold over 30 years.

The "satellite-type" washing machine - a round metal pod with a handle that stirs dirty laundry in water and detergent.

Hitachi's "Piano" is a desk-top electric fan that is, for no apparent reason, shaped like a miniature piano and is supposed to emit a gently scented breeze.

And:

Toshiba's "Snack-3", a device that can warm milk while toasting a slice of bread and frying an egg.

No wonder Comet went bust...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to don my cloak of invisibility

 

And today’s thought:

Spot the Dorries

 

Angus