Showing posts with label undies humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label undies humour. Show all posts

Friday, 30 October 2009

Not my problem; Spoon Numpty; Plastic punt; Trick or eaten; and Glow show




Bribble factor 10 last night, I think someone broke in and beat me with a baseball bat and then jumped all over me, the cat of course slept like a log so I shoved her in the fireplace.

It seems that Tone’s chances of becoming King of Europe are diminishing faster than the balance in my bank account, isn’t that a shame.

And

How is your Mandarin/Arabic? Time to brush up as the board of Icann voted at its annual meeting in Seoul to allow domain names in Arabic, Chinese and other scripts.

The move paves the way for the internet's Domain Name System (DNS) to be changed so it can recognise and translate non-Latin characters.

Should be fun.


First up:




From over the big wet thing in Columbus: Residents of one Ohio City are complaining that police officers are telling them if they're fed up with crime in their neighborhoods they should move out. At least two Columbus city council members have heard the complaint.

An aide to Councilwoman Charleta Tavares said she has received more than 20 calls. Councilman Andrew Ginther said if police are making the comments, they're neither acceptable nor appropriate, though he said he believes most officers want to be helpful.

A police spokesman said the department addresses the complaints when it's given the name of an officer.

A police union official said he understands if officers are frustrated with crime. Fraternal Order of Police President Jim Gilbert said: "It's like the OK Corral out there."

Here’s a hint-get out of your nice warm police cars and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!



From East a bit and up: Baffled bank staff refused to fork out cash when a robber threatened them - with a spoon.

The ginger-haired crook burst into the branch in Lublin, Poland, brandishing the cutlery shouting: "This is a stick up."

Staff and customers threw themselves to the ground until they realised the 'gun' was simply a stainless steel spoon.

The would-be robber fled empty-handed with the laughter of his 'victims' ringing in his ears.

But police are not taking the incident lightly and have launched an investigation into the attempted robbery.

Police spokeswoman, Renata Laszczka-Rusek, said: "It's a weird one but he broke the law and we want to find him


Forkin Numpty.
From over the salty thing and down a bit: - A team of adventurous environmentalists are preparing to set sail for Sydney in a catamaran made entirely of reclaimed plastic bottles.

They want to highlight the scale of plastic pollution in the ocean and the damage it is wreaking on a fragile ecosystem.

While the journey will be unpredictable, simply building a plastic bottle boat in the first place has been the greatest challenge.

San Francisco, the city by the bay renowned for its summer fogs and famous landmarks, is also a haven for yachties.

And inside a nondescript pier in the heart of San Francisco's waterfront, a team of environmental adventurers - led by the exuberant David de Rothschild - is building a boat out of plastic bottles.

It has been three years in the planning and sometimes seemed simply too hard.

"All my friend are like 'jeez, will you hurry up and build a boat?' But not a lot of people build a boat out of recycled plastic and whack plastic bottles along the side," he said.

"That's been the challenge - and the exciting challenge."

The boat's frame - made of recycled plastic - will be lined with 12,500 bottles filled with CO2 to help provide buoyancy.

"We are now standing on a material that is potentially a solution for the waste problem that is plastic PET bottles," de Rothschild said.

Plastic waste drives this 31-year-old descendant of a wealthy banking family, who is determined to make a difference to the planet.

"We were talking about a problem and not moving it towards a solutions. I hope it becomes a tipping point," he said.

Here’s a”tipping point” for the intrepid plastic travellers: What are they going to do with all the CO2 they are using for buoyancy?



From over the briny and up a bit: CHURCHILL, Man. - Most trick-or-treaters are well-versed in Halloween safety: travel in groups, wear colourful clothing and only stop at brightly lit homes.

The drill is slightly different, however, for kids in a remote Manitoba town on Hudson Bay.

Youngsters in Churchill are warned not to dress in furry white costumes, to steer clear of baited traps stuffed with seal meat and to listen for the tell-tale sound of fireworks.

That's because these candy-seekers have more to worry about than ghosts and goblins. They need to avoid a different kind of predator on Halloween - the polar bear.

In Churchill - known as the polar bear capital of the world - Halloween falls smack in the middle of the busiest time for the iconic mammals. The bears are restlessly wandering around as they wait for cooler temperatures so they can head out onto the frozen winter ice.

Add to that streets crawling with about 300 trick-or-treaters and their tasty bags of treats. The combination could be deadly.

But Conservation, Parks Canada and RCMP officers have ensured everyone's safety for the last 40 Halloweens and this year is no different. Thirty of them will encircle the town and keep an eye on youngsters going door to door.

"It's a precautionary measure because the polar bear is a predatory animal," said Const. Mike Boychuk. "Our main goal is to have a safe community whether it be from humans or from bears."

School children get a visit from the polar bear patrol team to go over safety tips. On the day of Halloween, several conservation officers take to the sky in a helicopter to see if there are any bears nearby. As dusk descends, Mountie patrol cars and other emergency vehicles are parked around the town's perimeter with their lights flashing.

Other units patrol the town of about 1,000 and also look out for bears, while about half a dozen bear traps baited with seal meat are set up.

If a bear is spotted, said conservation officer Andrew Szklaruk, he and his colleagues are called in to shoo it away.

"We'll use our trucks, our horns sometimes and also 12-gauge shotguns with cracker shells and rubber bullets at times," said Szklaruk. "Our cracker shells are pretty much like fireworks. They're launched from the 12-gauge shotgun, go out about 200 feet and explode making a large bang."

That kind of ruckus is usually enough to make a bear think twice about entering the town, Szklaruk said.

But if the animal persists, a tranquillizer dart is used and the bear is carted off to "polar bear jail" - holding cells where the bear is isolated until it is released back into the wild.

The precautions seem to work. Few can recall a polar bear actually breaching the town's perimeter on Halloween since the program started in the 1960s.

What some people will do for a few free SWEETS.


And finally:


From over lots of wet bits and down a lot: Glow-in-the-dark lingerie for the bedroom has proved to be an international hit, with the luminous bras and pants on sale worldwide.

The designs are the brainchild of Australian Jan Hawley.

Miss Hawley, 55, from Oxley Island in New South Wales, said the new designs are thanks to her two grown-up sons, who urged her to make the set raunchier than ever.

"When the lights go out, the lace on the bra and knickers glow beautifully, defining the tiny shapes of the micro G-string, bikini or triangle bra.

"It's very sensual and sexy. Blokes just love it."

Miss Hawley said the designs are skimpier than the original collection.

She said: "When we launched the company two years ago, it was to wear during the day and at work.

"This collection is easy to whip on, but even easier to whip off.

"The glow is to inject some fun into the bedroom. It's quirky and has novelty value and men especially like it."

The underwear is now being sold around the world, including America and several countries in Europe.

Miss Hawley said: "The success we've had has been remarkable. I started out with my husband James two years ago in a remote part of Australia and now it's a multinational business that shows no sign of stopping.

"We were moonlighting to begin with, coming up with designs across the dinner table after working a full day. Now this is our full time business.

Illuminating!


Angus

AnglishLit

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