Fare’s fair, Space undies, too cold, a Numpty and Flashing in the nave

Really late today, loads to do, but at least the old weather is OK.

First up:

Recession proof taxi

From www.burlingtonfreepress.com

Eric Hagen, 46, an Essex resident in Vermont and the SUV’s owner (and sole proprietor of Recession Ride Taxi) has put a sign saying “Pay What You Want!” in the back window of his taxi.

“Nobody has short changed me yet,” he said Saturday. “Nobody’s stiffed me. I’ve decided to empower the customer; they like the fact they can decide.”

Hagen, who still works full time at the American Red Cross in Burlington, hatched his improbable business model in June.

“I hadn’t thought about it before,” he said. “I was watching CNBC — the financial station — and it suddenly hit me: Everybody’s always hearing, ‘This is what your mortgage is going to be; this is what your car payment’s going to be.’ People want to get away from that.”

Repeat customers get their business cards punched; every seventh ride is free — as long as it’s within Chittenden County.

He keeps a cooler in the Durango loaded with pay-what-you-can iced bottles of water, Gatorade and soft drinks.

Other benefits of “membership” are still in the development stage.

Like other cabbies, Hagen keeps a detailed log. He’s earned about $600 in two weeks, working Thursday nights through Sunday evenings.

Most, but not all of his transactions are in cash. One fare, a musician, gave him a newly minted CD. Another proffered a Hannaford’s Supermarket card. “It had $10 on it. It was a fair trade,” he said.


A true entrepreneur.

Launch pads

From: www.abc.net.au/news


Koichi Wakata wore moisture-absorbent, odour-eating and bacteria-killing proto-type underwear for a month as he worked in the orbiting International Space Station (ISS).

Seeing the results may not be for the faint-hearted but this month-long undies experiment was all in the name of science.

"I wore [the underwear] for about a month and my space and crew members never complained ... so I think the experiment went fine," he said.
"I am returning and we will see the results after landing."

When the shuttle Endeavour brought the astronaut back to Earth, having orbited the planet more than 2,000 times, Mr Wakata - who spent a total 138 days in space - bequeathed his unique underwear to science.

As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit?

Hanging out

From: www.telegraph.co.uk

A bid to set a new world record for the number of women being photographed wearing bikinis in one place failed, after only 42 of the required 1,924 turned up.

A poor weather forecast in Southend-on-Sea, Essex, was blamed for the disappointing turnout.

Organisers had hoped to enter the record books by getting more than 1,923 women wearing swimwear on the sands of the Essex seaside town, beating the number reached in Russia last year.

One said that only 42 had turned out, the oldest of whom was in her 80s to raise money for Southend Hospital's breast cancer appeal,

Debbie Reynolds, 23, said she thought they would at least break the UK record of 320.

She said: "It was sunny and everything, so we thought we'd get a good turnout, but it was very sad when we realised that 42 was the grand total.

"It's pretty rubbish I must admit. We really need to try harder.


Maybe try holding it indoors?

Houdini he aint

From: www.google.co.uk

German police had to rescue a 20-year-old man from a train station suitcase locker after he shut himself in for fun and began to suffocate. After a night out drinking with friends, squeezing into the locker had seemed like an amusing idea to the man, police in the south-western city of Ludwigshafen said Friday.

But the laughter faded when he started to run out of oxygen and his companions couldn't open the locker. Police broke open the door and dragged the groggy man to safety.



Numpty.

I'll show you mine.......

From: Yahoo! News UK


A photographer who used a 13th century village church in England for an erotic photo shoot has caused uproar in the local diocese, which has decided to sue him, he said on Saturday.

Andy Craddock snapped photos of semi-naked models inside St Michael Penkivel Church in Cornwall, western England, before publishing them on his website and sparking the wrath of the Diocese of Truro.

"All I know is I'm being threatened with legal action," said Craddock.

"I don't understand it and I don't see the photographs as offensive, it's art."

Jeremy Downing, a spokesman for the Diocese of Truro, confirmed legal action was being taken and labelled the photos "deeply offensive".
"The Church deplores the use of sacred space in this way," he said.

"The pictures would be deeply offensive to people who view the place for regular worship. That's not what these buildings are intended for and he is deliberately taking advantage of the situation.

"Whether he's gone in there legally or illegally he is using the setting for an entirely improper purpose," Downing said.

"By anyone's reasonable standards of decency this is beyond the pale."

St Michael Penkivel was used in the 2005 British black comedy film "Keeping Mum" about a serial-killer in a quiet village, starring Rowan Atkinson.

The Bish should have charged more.


Angus

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Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

SATURDAY SNIPPETS

How Lambeth Council beats the recession money-grabbing council contractors lifted up a mum's car, painted double yellow lines under it and then towed it away.

Stunned Ruth Ducker, 44, was told she would have to cough up £840 to to get her VW Golf back
.
She protested - but it took two months for the council to admit what had happened and by then fines had piled up to £2,240, reports The Sun.

Contractors National Car Parks had also towed the car a day before the no parking zone came into force.

It was only when Ruth's MP Kate Hoey took up the case that the fines were waived.


Mum-of-two Ruth, of Camberwell, South London, said: "What they did was disgraceful."

A spokesman for Lambeth Council said yesterday: "This was an unacceptable case. We are very sorry."

He said Ruth had been offered compensation of £150.

Sue the buggers, it has got to be illegal to lift and tow away someone’s car without reason.

The Hum of the Nataraja

The hum moves on-Telegraph the irritating and unidentifiable sound, which has been reported in locations throughout the world, is driving residents in Mawnan to search for an explanation.

Now the parish council has been asked to launch an investigation to find the source.

Residents claim they are also experiencing a variety of other symptoms including headaches, anxiety, frequent nosebleeds and a loss of balance.

Among those that have heard it are the council chairman Denis Gartside and his wife Louise. .
"It is like a high pitched whine and you cannot say when it's going to happen," said Mr Gartside.
Parish clerk, John Harrop, posted a notice calling for others to come forward.

"Before the council looks into this any further, we are anxious to understand how widespread the problem really is," he said.

"It would seem to be highly unlikely that everybody is suffering from tinnitus at the same time, and it may well be being caused by some external source."

I thought I explained this the other day, the high pitched whine is coming from MPs caught with their hands in the till.

Teacher gets hacked, and hacked off, embarrassing pictures of Sue Brearley, were accidentally loaded onto a computer at Whitecross School, in Lydney, Glos, it was reported.

Pupils allegedly discovered the private images and passed them around the school IT system.

They are being treated as stolen and two teenage boys have been spoken to by police about the matter.

Mrs Brearley is said to have told colleagues that the photographs were originally taken on her mobile phone and loaded onto her laptop which was then plugged into the school system.
Her fiancé David Gaston, the previous head teacher, told the Daily Mirror: "We believe the photos were stolen. They are private."

A Gloucestershire County Council spokesman was quoted as saying: "As far as Sue is concerned the photos were stolen.

"They are just of Sue, not both of them, and show her in underwear and are not of a pornographic nature.

Bit over the top, and just a little bit of advice for Ms Brearley:

1) Don’t’ load your naughty pictures onto your laptop.
2) Don’t do it while you are at school
3) Make sure you are not connected to the school network.

Or in other words,use a bit of common sense. You are a headmistress after all.

The people of North Yorkshire headed for the bomb shelters yesterday because a newsreader on radio five said “"There has been widespread condemnation of North Yorkshire's decision to carry out an underground nuclear test. The UN secretary general, Ban Ki-Moon, says he is deeply worried."

She did of course mean North Korea, or did she?

Bit more underwear-ish news 'See through' swimsuit to eliminate tan lines.

The Tan Through range from Kiniki – launched earlier this month is transparent when held up to the light.

Thousands of microscopic holes in the mesh fabric allow 80 per cent of sunlight to penetrate through to the skin.

However the garment is covered in 'magic eye'-style animal prints and abstract patterns which confuse the eye so onlookers can only see a solid block of fabric.

Described as "a chicken wire mesh material" the stretchy synthetic fabric is available as all-in-one swimsuit, bikinis, wraps and men's briefs, tangas and hipsters.

A swimsuit bought direct from the company's website costs £34.30 while all other items are £17.43.

However health campaigners warned that the garments could contribute to already increasing cases of deadly skin cancer.

I wonder if they are like those magic pictures, if you stare at it long enough………….

And finally:

Something a bit more”refined” Who now for Oxford Professor of Poetry? - Telegraph there’s not much entertaining about the recent feud over the Oxford Professor of Poetry chair, but the suggestion made by a BBC interviewer that this will draw attention to the work of the poets in question did make me laugh. Are we supposed to think that Derek Walcott’s out-of-court harassment settlement will make us reassess his commitment to post-colonialism? Are we supposed to think of Ruth Padel, “If that’s what her emails are like, let’s see how she handles blank verse”?

It’s a cut throat business being a poet.

I have a nomination-Spike Milligan, and just ot prove it here are some of his “poems”.

Bazonka

Say Bazonka every day
That's what my grandma used to say
It keeps at bay the Asian Flu'
And both your elbows free from glue.
So say Bazonka every day
(That's what my grandma used to say)
Don't say it if your socks are dry!
Or when the sun is in your eye!
Never say it in the dark
(The word you see emits a spark)
Only say it in the day
(That's what my grandma used to say)
Young Tiny Tim took her advice
He said it once, he said it twice
he said it till the day he died
And even after that he tried
To say Bazonka! every day
Just like my grandma used to say.
Now folks around declare it's true
That every night at half past two
If you'll stand upon your head
And shout Bazonka! from your bed
You'll hear the word as clear as day
Just like my grandma used to say!

Goodbye S.S.

G0 away girl, go away
and let me pack my dreams
Now where did I put those yesteryears
made up with broken seams
Where shall I sweep the pieces
my God they still look new
There's a taxi waiting at the door
but there's only room for you

I met hin once you know, and he drank my coffee.

“And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.” Spike Milligan

Angus

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

THE SUNDAY SECTION

The HSE has finally done it Traditional school ties 'banned' over health and safety fears at least 10 schools a week are adopting clip-on ties amid fears conventional knots pose an injury risk, it was claimed.

Concerns have been raised over children pulling them too tight for a joke and getting them caught in machinery.

Headteachers also claim they look scruffy as pupils wear fat knots or short tails as part of the latest fashion craze.

Research by the Schoolwear Association, which represents uniform manufacturers, said there had been rising demand for "safer" ties since January.

Around 25 British schools change their ties every week, it said, with almost half of those opting for clip-ons.

The Campaign for Real Education condemned the move as "health and safety gone mad".


I’ll second that.









Looks like us down in ‘Ampshire have got problems New 'super rats' evolve resistance to poison genetic mutations have produced a new breed of "super rat" with DNA that protects the vermin from standard toxins, according to Professor Robert Smith at the University of Huddersfield.

Ratcatchers in Berkshire and Hampshire were the first to report that their poisons were no longer effective, which experts put down to increased immunity among the pests.

But as the poison-resistant rats continue to spread, tests have revealed that they boast an entirely new strand of DNA that wards off attacks from pesticides.

Swindon in Wiltshire is the latest town to suffer an infestation, with exterminators reporting a 500 per cent increase in the rodents. Many are turning to traps, air rifles and even dogs in an effort to keep the populations under control.

And there’s me thinking they only existed in the Houses of Parliament.





One for the lads-World's largest bikini parade on Las Vegas Strip Las Vegas has staged the world’s largest bikini parade in a bid to revive the city's flagging visitor numbers.

The occasion marked the 50th anniversary of the building iconic “Welcome to Las Vegas” neon sign and according to the city’s mayor, Oscar Goodman, the start of summer on the Strip – a month ahead of other northern hemisphere destinations.

The publicity stunt, which saw around 300 bikini-clad women parade down The Strip, will do little to improve the city’s reputation for a lack of political correctness (women were asked to send in a photo along with their hip, waist and bust measurements, before participation could be approved) but plenty to publicise the city’s famous pool party scene.

It was followed by a swimwear retrospective, hosted by Holly Madison of the reality television programme Girl of the Playboy Mansion, featuring a catwalk show of bathing suits from the fifties to the present day.

The city has been struggled in recent months to attract visitors due to the economic downturn.

Go on spoil yourself, take a look.

No thank you very much-Britons offered 'free' caravans Britons are being offered the chance to claim a free holiday home after a holiday parks company announced that it is giving away static caravans this summer.

Park Holidays UK, which operates 25 parks in Britain, plans to transfer ownership of its oldest static caravans to Britons wanting a holiday home.

The caravans, which are around 15 years old and valued between £2,000 to £4,000 each, come with the original furniture, carpets, kitchen appliances and beds, and will be given a safety-check before handover.

Holidaymakers claiming a caravan are required to pay an annual pitch fee of between £1,800 and £4,000, depending on the park, and a £400 connection charge for water and electricity. There is no committment beyond the first year's fees and so owners can, in theory, remove the caravan from the park at the end of this one-year period. Owners can also rent the caravan out to generate a second income.

The company currently has caravans available at holiday parks in Dymchurch in Kent;

Winchelsea Sands and Rye in East Sussex; and St Osyth Beach.

Been there done that, cold uncomfirtable and noisy.

And finally:

Some signs from around the thingy:

“Here of a Sunday morning My love and I would lie, And see the coloured counties, And hear the larks so high About us in the sky.”-A E Housman

Angus
NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

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