THE SUNDAY SECTION

The HSE has finally done it Traditional school ties 'banned' over health and safety fears at least 10 schools a week are adopting clip-on ties amid fears conventional knots pose an injury risk, it was claimed.

Concerns have been raised over children pulling them too tight for a joke and getting them caught in machinery.

Headteachers also claim they look scruffy as pupils wear fat knots or short tails as part of the latest fashion craze.

Research by the Schoolwear Association, which represents uniform manufacturers, said there had been rising demand for "safer" ties since January.

Around 25 British schools change their ties every week, it said, with almost half of those opting for clip-ons.

The Campaign for Real Education condemned the move as "health and safety gone mad".


I’ll second that.









Looks like us down in ‘Ampshire have got problems New 'super rats' evolve resistance to poison genetic mutations have produced a new breed of "super rat" with DNA that protects the vermin from standard toxins, according to Professor Robert Smith at the University of Huddersfield.

Ratcatchers in Berkshire and Hampshire were the first to report that their poisons were no longer effective, which experts put down to increased immunity among the pests.

But as the poison-resistant rats continue to spread, tests have revealed that they boast an entirely new strand of DNA that wards off attacks from pesticides.

Swindon in Wiltshire is the latest town to suffer an infestation, with exterminators reporting a 500 per cent increase in the rodents. Many are turning to traps, air rifles and even dogs in an effort to keep the populations under control.

And there’s me thinking they only existed in the Houses of Parliament.





One for the lads-World's largest bikini parade on Las Vegas Strip Las Vegas has staged the world’s largest bikini parade in a bid to revive the city's flagging visitor numbers.

The occasion marked the 50th anniversary of the building iconic “Welcome to Las Vegas” neon sign and according to the city’s mayor, Oscar Goodman, the start of summer on the Strip – a month ahead of other northern hemisphere destinations.

The publicity stunt, which saw around 300 bikini-clad women parade down The Strip, will do little to improve the city’s reputation for a lack of political correctness (women were asked to send in a photo along with their hip, waist and bust measurements, before participation could be approved) but plenty to publicise the city’s famous pool party scene.

It was followed by a swimwear retrospective, hosted by Holly Madison of the reality television programme Girl of the Playboy Mansion, featuring a catwalk show of bathing suits from the fifties to the present day.

The city has been struggled in recent months to attract visitors due to the economic downturn.

Go on spoil yourself, take a look.

No thank you very much-Britons offered 'free' caravans Britons are being offered the chance to claim a free holiday home after a holiday parks company announced that it is giving away static caravans this summer.

Park Holidays UK, which operates 25 parks in Britain, plans to transfer ownership of its oldest static caravans to Britons wanting a holiday home.

The caravans, which are around 15 years old and valued between £2,000 to £4,000 each, come with the original furniture, carpets, kitchen appliances and beds, and will be given a safety-check before handover.

Holidaymakers claiming a caravan are required to pay an annual pitch fee of between £1,800 and £4,000, depending on the park, and a £400 connection charge for water and electricity. There is no committment beyond the first year's fees and so owners can, in theory, remove the caravan from the park at the end of this one-year period. Owners can also rent the caravan out to generate a second income.

The company currently has caravans available at holiday parks in Dymchurch in Kent;

Winchelsea Sands and Rye in East Sussex; and St Osyth Beach.

Been there done that, cold uncomfirtable and noisy.

And finally:

Some signs from around the thingy:

“Here of a Sunday morning My love and I would lie, And see the coloured counties, And hear the larks so high About us in the sky.”-A E Housman

Angus
NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS The Other Side

THE SUNDAY SECTION

I am totally ignoring the MPs expenses thing, because if I laugh anymore I will do myself damage.

So here is my selection for today:

A Coughing Italian judge cleared a panicking courtroom when he told lawyers: "I've just got back from Mexico."

More than 30 attorneys in Rome told Judge Giovanni Barese they were boycotting the court and adjourning their cases because of fear of swine flu.

One lawyer said: "The judge coughed a few times, I don't know if it was from the flu or he was just clearing his throat, and then said he had just come back from Mexico.

"I've never seen so many lawyers agree on anything in court so quickly but we all decided we had to get as far away from him as possible.

The judge agreed to see a doctor and has now gone into quarantine.

Well I never said anything about Porkie flu did I?

And no jokes about keeping the lawyers in with the judge, they are human after
all…….NAH.



This is what you get if you ditch the chips for veggies: A New York man regretted changing his side order from chips to vegetables after finding a snake's head in his broccoli.

Jack Pendleton first thought the thumb-sized object was a mushroom, until he turned it over, reports the Albany Times Union.

"I see this grey-green patch," he said. "I could see these black, rotted eye sockets on the top. I stopped eating. I told my girlfriend, 'I think this is a head'."

Mr Pendleton, 28, an art director, took a photo with his phone camera, and then he summoned the waiter. He covered the dish with his hand and described his find.

Mr Pendleton says he has no plans to sue the restaurant, a TGI Friday in Clifton Park, which said it “regretted” the mistake. The couple were given their meals without charge.

Amy Freshwater, a spokeswoman for the chain, said: "We are taking this situation very seriously.

"We immediately pulled the broccoli from this restaurant and began an extensive investigation. As a precautionary measure, we pulled broccoli from all restaurants that received product from this supplier."

Broccoli, schmoccoli; give me the chips anytime.

And a nice easy story for Sunday morning:

US scientists move toward speed-of-light internet American scientists say they have taken a big step forward towards the development of quantum computing, a process they believe could form the basis of a new form of internet that would work at the speed of light.

In the American Journal of Science, researchers say they have instantaneously teleported information between two unconnected atoms one metre apart.

Quantum computing is an effort to harness the bizarre laws that operate in the sub-atomic world into practical devices that would revolutionise the speed at which we can share and process information.

One of the key principles that empowers the concept is that in quantum mechanics, atomic particles can exist in two states at the same time.

This makes them far more useful for carrying out complex calculations than conventional computer bits that are either one or zero, on or off.

Another weird aspect of the quantum state is that atoms can be inextricably linked to other atoms, no matter how far apart they are.

Change the characteristics of one and, like magic, the other changes too.

What?

Something for the lads and Jezza fans-Identity of Top Gear's Stig revealed: report London's Telegraph has broken with convention and outed former race and James Bond stunt driver Ben Collins as Top Gear's The Stig.

According to the newspaper, the 33-year-old let the closely guarded secret slip when he asked Bristol gallery staff to help him produce limited edition prints of the white-suited character test-driving cars around the Top Gear track.

"I was absolutely amazed when he said he was The Stig, it was quite a big thing in a weird way," gallery owner Simon Whitehead was quoted as saying.

The BBC has a policy of never commenting on the character's identity.

A spokesman for the show, presented by Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May, told the paper: "We never comment on speculation as to who or what The Stig is."

Collins began his motorsport career in 1994 and has raced at Le Mans and in Formula Three.
He worked as a stunt driver on the latest James Bond film, Quantum Of Solace, and has also appeared on Top Gear as himself.

If they won’t comment it must be true then.

One law for some-Professional tree-climber fined for Opera House stunt a man who climbed a sail of the Sydney Opera House has been fined $1,500.

The 26-year-old from Western Australia was arrested early this morning.

He fronted Downing Centre Local Court this afternoon, where he was fined for trespassing.

The court heard the man climbs trees for a living.

When Billy Connelly did it the BBC paid him.

And finally:

The brains in Oxford have come up with the -ten most irritating expressions

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

I think they may have missed some:

Move the goalposts
Pushing the envelope
Singing from the same hymn sheet
Thinking outside the box
I hear what you’re saying
On the same page

And the phrase that I find the most annoying:

MPs Expenses.

Damn I wasn’t going to mention that!


“Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.” Chinese proverb

Angus


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico

NHS-THE OTHER SIDE