A whimsical layer of white fluffy stuff, a whatnot of
atmospheric movement and nary a glimmer of solar stuff at the Castle this morn,
the butler is running out of fat, carbon neutral teenagers to feed to the
furnace and his Maj is in the study clinging to the radiator.
It turns out that the Piss
Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has managed to find £2 billion
squids to give to foreign projects including wind turbines in Africa and
greener cattle farming in Colombia.
Allegedly the inhabitants of every Castle in backward
Blighty will “contribute” £70 to schemes to tackle climate change in developing
countries before March 2015, under plans championed by Ed Davey, the Liberal
Democrat Energy Secretary.
At a United Nations climate change talks in Doha, Qatar shit
for brains Davey gave details of £150 million in new projects as part of
Britain’s £1.8 billion in “climate aid” for poorer countries within three years
– the equivalent of £70 per household.
Mr Davey said the money should be spent because “climate
change is a global threat and with every passing year, the nature and the
extent of that threat grows clearer”.
Apparently what’s his name-the Deputy Prime Monster hailed
the cash as “fantastic news”.
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck---ing hell.
Up Norfish in Stanley Durham a nice eight foot metal Crimbo
tree with thousands of twinkly blue lights was taken dahn because it was
running on 240 volts, Durham County Councillor Carl Marshall, who helped
organise the festival, said: 'The tree was metal and covered in LEDs.
'If anyone was to open up a junction box or was messing
about with it then there was good risk that they would not just get a little
shock.
'It would be a fatality.
Just like every lamp post in the land then....
A butcher has
created a festive dinner – all in one sausage.
James Taylor, 32, and his wife Heather have created Santa’s Grills, which includes sprouts, bacon, chestnuts and sausage meat.
And the sausages, which cost £8 a kilo, have been a hit with customers at their market stall, Bobbys Bangers, in Oldham, Greater Manchester.
“They’re going like hotcakes,” James said. “We’re selling around 2,500 sausages a week.”
He has even made a mince pie banger: “They’re sweet, but a nice change from the norm,” he added.
James Taylor, 32, and his wife Heather have created Santa’s Grills, which includes sprouts, bacon, chestnuts and sausage meat.
And the sausages, which cost £8 a kilo, have been a hit with customers at their market stall, Bobbys Bangers, in Oldham, Greater Manchester.
“They’re going like hotcakes,” James said. “We’re selling around 2,500 sausages a week.”
He has even made a mince pie banger: “They’re sweet, but a nice change from the norm,” he added.
That’s me sorted for Crimbo then.....
Aundrea Aragon had complained for months about her runny
nose was horrified to find out that fluid was leaking from her brain.
Several doctors had reassured Aundrea Aragon from Tucson,
Arizona, that the clear liquid was simply caused by allergies.
"I was scared to death and desperate," the
35-year-old mother said. "I knew it could not be allergies. The fluid
would come out like a puddle."
The steroids and antibiotics she was prescribed had no
effect.
"I was walking around with toilet paper shoved up my
nose and changing it every ten minutes," Mrs Aragon recalled.
Surgeons at the University of Arizona eventually
noticed two small cracks in the back of her sphenoid sinus, which were caused
by cerebral pressure.
Using an endoscopic procedure, doctors were able
to avoid invasive surgery and fix the condition with a minimal recovery period.
They used tissue from her nose and belly to repair the
cracks.
I wondered what that grey stuff was last time I sneezed....
“They” have apparently discovered the first dinosaur to have
walked the Earth, a mysterious fossil specimen that has been in the museum's
collection for decades has now been identified as most likely coming from a
dinosaur that lived about 245 million years ago - 10 to 15 million years
earlier than any previously discovered examples.
It has been named Nyasasaurus parringtoni after
southern Africa's Lake Nyasa, now called Lake Malawi, and Cambridge
University's Rex Parrington, who collected the specimen at a site near the lake
in the 1930s.
The creature was about the size of a Labrador dog.
That’ll help the economy....
And finally:
A New Zealand
animal welfare group has spent eight weeks teaching three of its shelter dogs to
drive.
The Auckland SPCA
says it wanted to show how intelligent dogs were to encourage more people to
adopt them.
Three dogs were
chosen from a group of seven and given daily training exercises to familiarise
themselves with the mechanics of driving.
After just eight
weeks Porter, Monty and Ginny were put behind the wheels of an adapted Mini
Cooper and reportedly managed to put it in gear, accelerate and steer.
So far, the dogs
have been driving with the help of an assistant inside the car, but their next
challenge is to drive solo on live television.
Auckland SPCA Chief
Christine Kalin said: "They will hop in, start the car, put it into gear, and
use the accelerator.
"It's an
off-road raceway track and at all times we have a remote capacity to stop the
car should we need to."
Ms Kalin described
the three pooches as "highly adoptable", adding: "They are very
intelligent, but they aren't any more special than any of the other SPCA dogs.
"Our dream
would be throughout our major cities and across Australasia will be people will
be proud of owning a rescue dog."
That can steal your car.....
That’s it: I’m orf to press the red
button
And today’s thought:
Think I prefer cold weather
Angus
