STRANGE WORLD!

Picture from Weird Picture Archive

Watch out Parky!

Charlie a six foot rhea- a South American bird related to the ostrich - destroyed dozens of gardens and hedges and pecked anyone who got in his way, when it went on a Rod Hull and Emu-style destruction spree.
He was running about for seven hours, leaping garden fences before he was captured.


Tell us something we don’t know!

Kissing feels so pleasurable due to hormone surge Scientists have carried out research and have discovered that kissing turns people on. They could have saved a lot of time and money by talking to any teenager.

Here’s one for sports fans-not!

Carlos Tevez's car seized by police, the Manchester United footballer, had his £140,000 Bentley seized after police pulled him over because his windows were "too dark".

“Officers warned him his windows were too heavily tinted but then seized the car when they realised he did not have a full UK licence.

Police took the £140,000 white car to a compound because he had no one to drive it home, while Patrice Evra, another team-mate, also in a Bentley, stopped to give Tevez a lift.
Tevez now faces prosecution for driving without a valid licence.”

No sympathy from me, I have a driving license.

Aren’t computers wonderful

Software glitch leads to 5-cent gas in Dutch town a software “glitch” at an unmanned petrol station in Genderenm, Vollenhoven Olie BV, allowed drivers to pay 1 euro cent per litre, a nice 99 percent discount.

Piet-Hein Bogaers, director of the company that operates the station said “Most people were home in bed, so it could have been worse," by the time the mistake was fixed Saturday morning, customers were lined up to buy gas. Many had even called to alert the company.

Ah-those were the days!



Too tight to pay the electric bill

Man who froze over $1K in unpaid bills had $600K Marvin Schur who was 93, froze to death after a power company restricted electricity to his home over roughly $1,000 in unpaid bills left an estimated $600,000 to a hospital.

For the want of a nail the war was lost. The Want of a Nail Lyrics


There’s too much meat in my meat

N.L. man charged with assaulting waiter after complaint of 'too meaty' steak A Newfoundland diner is in trouble for apparently liking his steak with plenty of marble. (Fat)

A 58-year-old man is facing an assault charge in St. John's after he allegedly slugged his waiter for serving a steak that was "too meaty." The incident occurred Thursday night at a downtown restaurant.

The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary alleges the man pushed the waiter and punched him in the face on his way out of the restaurant.

He has been released from custody and will appear in provincial court at a later date.
Pillock!


And finally.

Six of one?

What are You Doing Here?: Man Asks Wife at Brothel A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees.

The woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

I wonder what the mans’ excuse was?


“In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.” Konrad Adenauer

Angus

NHS Behind the Headlines

Angus Dei politico

IT’S A WEIRD WORLD

BBC NEWS a couple from Leeds have been told that they cannot adopt a child because the husband is too fat. Mr Hall said: “"I just feel as though we were only judged on my weight and not all the other good things about us. We don't drink or smoke and we could give a child a happy and safe home."

I wonder if any of the adoption team is “big”?

From the Metro.co.uk – a man has taken 26 years to solve a Rubik Cube; “I cannot tell you what a relief it was to finally solve it,' the 45-year-old from Portchester, Hampshire, said. 'It has driven me mad over the years – it felt like it had taken over my life I have missed important events to stay in and solve it and I would lie awake at night thinking about it.

'I have had wrist and back problems from spending hours on it but it was all worth it. When I clicked that last bit into place and each face was a solid colour, I wept”

If it wasn’t so sad I would recommend OCD therapy, but the waiting list could be another 26 years.


From Yahoo! News Man opens neighbour's door with chain saw, “SCRANTON, Pa. - An eastern Pennsylvania man may face up to 37 years in prison for tearing open a neighbour’s door with a chain saw. Police say 34-year-old Robert Kane began sawing through the front door of Jamie Zaleski's apartment in Scranton while Zaleski and several friends ran out the back.
Kane was angry because a friend of Zaleski's parked in front of his house across the street. Police said when Zaleski asked who was at the door, Kane said it was his worst nightmare, told him, "Open the door or I'll cut it down," and started sawing.
A jury convicted Kane on Tuesday of charges including attempted burglary, attempted criminal trespass and terroristic threats.”

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours!


And finally from CNBC.com Bikers strap on fruit, pots to dodge helmet law, KANO, Nigeria - Police in Nigeria have arrested scores of motorcycle taxi riders with dried fruit shells, pots or pieces of rubber tire tied to their heads with string to avoid a new law requiring them to wear helmets.

The regulations have caused chaos around Africa's most populous nation, with motorcyclists complaining helmets are too expensive and some passengers refusing to wear them fearing they will catch skin disease or be put under a black magic spell.

Well they do say you should have five a day.

"Adversity is the first path to truth."-Lord Gorge Gordon Byron (Don Juan)

Angus

THE INANE CHASING THE UNWANTED

Sod the “proper news”, I can’t be bothered as it will still be there tomorrow, instead here are some stories that will lift your hearts and make you feel intelligent.

Ebay-unwanted Crimbo pressies are appearing like spots during a bout of measles.

Tightwads are trying to sell things such as a golf club brush set, or a “book” by Clarkson, both with no bids, not a surprise really.

What you need to do is what I do-rewrap the gift and give it back to the moron who gave it to you next year.

Other strange news-from the Telegraph- Prince Harry has been seen drinking lager through a hosepipe while on holiday, his last 'drinks' before he becomes teetotal in 2009. Standing on a balcony, he was seen throwing back his head and putting the length of hose to his mouth before swallowing the drink in moments.

That’s one way to perk up your public image.

PC gone mad-Fire engines will have to have at least one firewoman on board in order to meet diversity guidelines, town hall leaders claim. Fire engines will have to have at least one firewoman on board in order to meet diversity guidelines, town hall leaders claim.

Personally I wouldn’t care if it was a man or a woman who doused the fire, but it can play havoc with your nails.

Vets gone mad- Throwing a stick for dog could damage its health, vet warns, Dan Brockman, a professor of small animal surgery at the Royal Veterinary College, has advised owners to use rubber toys or balls instead.

In a new report, Prof Brockman catalogued serious injuries caused by dogs being stabbed by sticks they have rushed to collect for their masters.

"When I see people throwing sticks for their dogs in the park I just get so frustrated," he said. "I want to go and tell them to stop."

Look on the bright side, at least those dogs have owners who care for them and are exercising them. And dogs don't swallow balls do they?


Prince William's beard honoured-Prince William has been honoured for giving beards a positive image after sporting thick facial hair over the Christmas period.

The Prince finished as a runner-up in the annual Beard of the Year award.

Unfortunately the overall title was shared between the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, and ageing singer Tom Jones.

So how does it fell Wills? Coming second to a guy that looks like catweazle, and a pensioner?

Mystery naval explosion may have stinky solution-The mysterious explosion which sank a 17th century Royal warship may have been caused by the lavatory habits of its crew, a historian believes.

HMS London sank in 1685 after exploding without warning in the Thames Estuary near Chatham Docks in a blast which killed 300 people and was recorded by diarist Samuel Pepys.
Naval historians have long argued about the cause, suggesting a build-up of chemicals could have ignited the ship's supply of gunpowder.

But now one researcher believes the blast may have been triggered by the noxious accumulation of methane from the scores of sailors who relieved themselves in the bowels(unintended pun) of the ship.

Just goes to show, don’t shit on your own door step.

More PC gone mad -Marking in red ink banned in case it upsets schoolchildren, Hundreds of schools have banned their teachers from marking in red ink in case it upsets the children. They are scrapping the traditional method of correcting work because they consider it "confrontational" and "threatening".

Pupils increasingly find that the ticks and crosses on their homework are in more soothing shades like green, blue, pink and yellow or even in pencil.

What aload of old bollocks, if the dear little things did their work properly then they wouldn’t get upset.

And finally-Britain's weirdest phobias-David Allison, a therapist based at Addenbrooke's hospital, in Cambridge, was filmed treating some of the worst sufferers in an ITV1 documentary to be shown next week.

They included Sue Williams, 37, from Dudley in the West Midlands, who is so terrified of knees that she has not touched her own for 16 years and cannot say "kneecap" without bursting into tears.

Louise Arnold, from Gloucester, has a pea phobia which means she cannot walk down the frozen food aisle of a supermarket.

Explaining her dislike of peas, she said: "They tend to just look at me – ganging up on me. All the hairs on the back of my neck go up. I have to know where they are in the supermarket before I go in. It's just controlling my life now. I would like to be a dinner lady at my daughter's school, but I'm not even able to be in the same room as someone eating them."

Other sufferers in the programme included Kim Crosby, from Cambridge, who is terrified of barns. "It's very hampering in the summertime because I would like to drive around with the roof of my car down, but then there is nothing to protect me."

Earleen Taylor, who is so frightened of frogs that she sprints from her car to her front door in case one is lurking in the garden. Miss Taylor, of Sutton, Surrey, said: "I have a sixth sense for frogs. When it has been raining, I'm on red alert. I start to hyperventilate, and am gripped by fear."

Tea bags, tree roots and midgets are other terrors discussed in Britain's Weirdest Phobias, broadcast on Tuesday at 8pm.

Now that is a programme worth watching, perhaps the follow up will be filming them during their CBT treatment.

Angus