Killing us costly: Mona-Mona: Iranian Ninjas: Pricy motor: Nude birds: and useless objects.

Hard, shallow and crusty with a lack of warmth at the Castle this morn (just like the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition), his Maj has decided that he will wait until spring before he ventures out again and the butler is up to his knees in alcohol soaked, fat teenagers.

La grippe is making me feel a lot hoarse, and I have this urge to kiss people on both cheeks-up or down.

In cocked up Coalition Blighty

Allegedly the NHS faces a £15.7 billion bill to settle a rising number of clinical negligence claims.

The money has been signed off to pay for the care in future years of tens of thousands of patients who have suffered due to blunders in Britain’s hospitals.

Last year, more than 8,500 clinical negligence claims were received by the NHS, an increase of more than 30 per cent on 2009/10.

This clinical negligence bill is a calculation, based on the number of claims the NHS believes it will not be able to defend, the severity of the claimed errors and how much a victim would be paid out for these mistakes.

It therefore includes an estimate of the cost of mistakes that have not yet been claimed for.

Officials admit that the £15.7 billion compensation bill could be an underestimate if the NHS loses more cases than predicted.

Here’s an idea-why not make the knobhead “doctors” who kill and maim patients because of their errors personally liable....

Right to the land of warm winters

The Mona Lisa at the Prado in Madrid was thought to be just another copy, with added eyebrows and an odd black background.

But curators at Spain's national art museum yesterday announced that the painting was actually executed by an artist in Leonardo da Vinci's workshop at the same time as the original.

The copy has belonged to the museum at least since the 1666, first as part of the royal collection and then as a state treasure. It was first thought to have been produced by a Flemish hand after da Vinci's death. Then it was believed to be a later Italian copy.

But is it art?

East to the land where nuclear power is just that allegedly

Thousands of Iranian woman are training to be ninjas.

According to The Atlantic, roughly 3,500 females regularly change from their traditional garb to dress the part of high-kicking, wall-climbing, metal star-throwing fighters.



That’ll put the wind up Silly Billy Hague...

Back in barmy Blighty

A classic Ferrari has become the most expensive car ever sold in Britain - changing hands for £20.2million.

The legendary Ferrari 250 GTO is the world’s most sought-after car, especially as there were only 39 models built between 1962 and 1964.

This 1963 model - number 5095 - is believed to have been sold by British businessman Jon Hunt, who bought it in 2008 for what was then world-record at £15.7million.

When it was launched in the 1960s by Enzo Ferrari, the 250 GTO came with a price-tag of a relatively small £6,000.

The 250 GTO was fitted with a 3-litre V12 engine developing 300bhp - meaning a 0-60mph time of 6.1 seconds and reach a top speed of 174mph.

 

Wonder how much I could get for the Honda.....

East again to the land of oppressed people

An Israeli geneticist, Avigdor Cahaner, created the world’s first featherless chicken at the genetics faculty at the Rehovot Agronomy Institute near Tel Aviv, Israel. The bare-skinned bird was created by cross breeding a broiler with a species that has a featherless neck.

The idea behind the development of this naked bird is that it will create a more ‘convenient’ and energy efficient chicken which can live in warm countries where feathered chickens don’t do well and cooling systems are too expensive to be commonly affordable. And of course, the bird doesn’t require plucking, saving additional money in processing plants.

Well; pluck a duck.....

And finally:

 

Some useless objects.

That’s it: I’m orf to print out a spine for Nick Clegg

And today’s thought:

Angus

Auditing the auditors: Something is happening this week: Chinese bun robbers: A Ninja in Tunbridge Wells: 16th Century PC: and Ryanair gets some pay back.

The weather at the Castle has gone down hill this morn, cold, cloudy, breezy and dull, it is so bad that the butler has had to venture out to snatch a few fat teenagers for the furnace. 

What is left of my locks has been shorn and the Honda is disappearing under a layer of dust/sand/pollen and I am still having to water the hanging baskets, wall boxes and pots.

The “political” news is still chuntering on about AV, but there is this snippet about the Audit Commission which is responsible for policing spending at local authorities, NHS trusts and other government bodies.

Allegedly the knobs at the top have been putting luxury goods and services on their taxpayer-funded credit cards.

As well as meals costing several hundred pounds at Michelin-starred restaurants, the officials spent a four figure sum on flowers and also bought goods from HMV and Thorntons, the cinema chain and chocolatier, and purchased cinema tickets and doughnuts.

A spokesman insisted that all of the spending on Government Procurement Cards – which are in the form of credit cards and are rebated by the taxpayer – was “legitimate”.

He added: “In common with many public bodies the Audit Commission uses Government Procurement Cards for low value transactions or where a purchase order is impractical.

“Procurement cards are recognised as the most cost-effective way of dealing with such transactions and often result in lower prices.

Yeah right……

And this week there is apparently very important things going on, did you now that it is Beanpole week, or Real bread Maker week and on Friday the most important thing of all-International Dance Day.

Who says Blighty is boring.

East to the land of odd laws

A group of pregnant thieves who ransacked shopping malls in a Chinese city for more than a decade was behind bars Thursday.

The 47-strong maternal crime ring, dubbed the "Big Belly Gang," was thought to have been responsible for the majority of the 3,000 cases of in-store thefts reported in the coastal metropolis of Hangzhou last year.

Operating in groups of five, three non-pregnant women would distract staff while two pregnant gang members stole goods from the store -- or money and valuables from other shoppers.

A month long police operation finally trapped the gang members, who met each day at the local school's gates and split their proceeds on a 60/40 basis between the non-pregnant members and those stealing for two.

China's notoriously tough justice system does not extend to pregnant and lactating women, who can plead a "special situation" and be released almost immediately. One of the boldest members was arrested and released 47 times.

Most gang members appeared to have at least three children and some had as many as eight, in defiance of China's one-child policy. Others got pregnant in order to remain active members of the gang but later had abortions.

The gang members' stay-at-home husbands often looked after their children.

Up the duff and in the clink (That's not them by the way).

Back in Blighty

A crime-fighting Ninja has begun patrolling the streets of Royal Tunbridge Wells scaring off yobs, helping pensioners and rescuing cats from trees.

His mission is simple – to clean up the streets. Speaking on condition of anonymity he said: ‘It’s my aim to help people, I am inspired by Neighbourhood Watch, which people seem to have forgotten about, and so I’ve created Ninja Watch. There is still lots of trouble in Tunbridge Wells and the community does not seem to be as together as it used to be.

The 25-year-old, who calls himself the ‘Neighbourhood Ninja of Tunbridge Wells’, claims to be a ‘grandmaster’ of the Japanese martial art based on ‘stealth and infiltration’.

Origami can kill, ever got a paper cut?

Back to the “Ladies”

A guide written in 1505 has been found and it contains 'secrets' about females that take political incorrectness to extremes.

Perhaps the worst of the advice is that ‘females are failed males’. The book, De Secretis Mulierum (On The Secrets Of Women), also suggests men wanting to check if a woman is a virgin should ask her to sniff a lettuce. If she then wants to go to the loo she is ‘corrupted’.

Other revelations include women being able to kill animals with a glance during their time of the month and odd food cravings in pregnancy being down to ‘evil humours’.

Husbands who want a male child are told to give their wives wine that contains the pulverised womb and intestines of a hare. Once pregnant, the female will have a girl if her left breast is bigger than her right and a boy if it’s the right.

The book was found in the archives of the Royal Society of Chemistry in central London.

It is thought to have been written by Albertus Magnus, a theologian and ‘scientist’, and to have been given to a priest to help him understand women.

I’m saying nothing…..now where did I put that lettuce?

And finally:

Ryanair has launched an enquiry after three passengers on the same flight each won a car worth £11,500 after playing its in-flight scratch card game.

The three passengers, who were flying from Milan to Madrid last Monday, won the prize after buying one of the airline's £2 scratch cards, despite an average of one car being won each month.

The airline blamed a printing error by Brandforce, the company which runs the game, but has promised that all three winners will receive their vehicles.

Ryanair began selling scratch cards in 2008 in an attempt to further increase its additional or “ancillary” revenues. Around a quarter of the airline’s annual earnings are generated by ancillary revenues. Its extra charges, including check-in fees, booking fees and luggage charges have increased by up to 700 per cent since 2006.

Last month, Ryanair was criticised for imposing an additional £2 charge on all bookings to insure itself against flight cancellations, while next month it will allow passengers to reserve individual seats for the first time, at a cost of £8.80 per person per flight, on services from Dublin Airport to Gatwick and Malaga.

Robber robbed?

That’s it: I’m orf to have a look at Enceladus’s aurora.

And today’s thought: “This is a great day for France!" --Said while attending Charles De Gaulle's Funeral. - Richard Nixon 

Angus