Bo-Jo Bollocks, LGBT-WTF Bollocks, Brexit Bollocks, Flying arsehole, and Russian sex.

Dawns crack is massive, not a whimsy of atmospheric movement, much lack of cold and massive residue of sky water at the castle this sweaty morn.

It has been more than many moons since the last post on this piss poor blog but, what is happening in what is left of Blighty has forced me to enter into the Web thingy again.

Bo-Jo bollocks

And yet again we have a Tory with no majority, no statesmanship and less than no chance of taking on the super state of the EU in a vain attempt to lead us from Germany’s domain.

So, we have yet another unelected Prime Monster, as Terry leather-legs May-be sidles orf back to the forest in Harry Potter, Bo-Jo slithers under the front door of 10 Downing Street.

What we will have is a repeat of the last three years, where moronic self serving MPs will bend Boris over the Commons mace and butt fuck him until he agrees to a second referendum.

Because no matter who is in charge and what is infesting the House of Commons “they” do not want to obey the people who put them in power and pay their not inconsiderable salaries and expenses.

Oh dear....

Is it me or are minorities taking over the asylum?

There appears to be a revolution, the LGBT portion of what used to be our free country have suddenly become the ruling class, there are massive gatherings, “Gay Pride” thingies and even the BEEB and the Co-op has joined the throng.

Don’t get me wrong I have no problem with chaps who want to shove their “man sausage” up another man's rear exit or Lady lovers who want to pummel another Lady lovers’ pussy, if that is their want then go at it, but PLEASE, PLEASE do not inflict your lifestyle on me.

I used to watch Holby City on Auntie but have stopped because the plot line has changed from the patients and the NHS to gay nurses, gay doctors and gay consultant/consultant, gay nurse/doctor, gay doctor/doctor and gay patient/doctor themes.

Good for them they should rename it Gaybe, I only pay the license fee which it seems I will be doing till I pop orf this mortal coil now.

And the co-op has released adverts extolling the virtue of celebrating LGBT people who “need to be loved” with a strawberry.

WTF!

How about a heterosexual pride gathering in the smoke letting all and sundry know that we black, white, brown yellow and any other colour who like the opposite sex still exist and are the majority in Bighty and across the globe.

Or am I just getting old?

Above our green and bloody hot land

A passenger who allegedly caused two RAF jets to be scrambled to escort a plane back to Stansted Airport has been sent an £85,000 bill by the airline.

Chloe Haines, 25, is accused by Jet2 of a ‘catalogue of aggressive, abusive and dangerous behaviour’ on a flight bound for Dalaman in Turkey, including trying to open the aircraft doors during the flight.

The flight had to be escorted back to Stansted Airport by two Typhoon fighter jets while she was restrained by cabin crew and customers. A former bouncer who tackled her to the ground said she kicked, punched and screamed at the stewards.

Makes you proud...doesn’t it?

And finally.

Right a lot to what used to be part of the USSR

A woman died after being crushed under her partner when they fell nine storeys while having sex over a balcony. It is believed he survived after she cushioned his fall at the tower block in St Petersburg, Russia.

According to witnesses the man staggered back into the building and went upstairs to join his friends. When they turned up, police initially thought they were dealing with a murder and sex attack after finding the woman with no clothing on the lower half of her body at the base of the building.

They also found a TV at the scene and believed it may have been the murder weapon.

However, witnesses told them about the couple having sex in the flat before falling.


The man, who only sustained minor injuries, has been tracked down and is currently under investigation, according to reports.

Surprised he didn’t take the TV back up.

That’s it I’m orf to check under the cars bonnet. Just in case...

And today's thought.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

~ Albert Einstein ~ 

Take note parliament...

Angus 

Saturday Snippets

Pluck a Duck; Poo fags; Too much Time; Pelican Crashing; and Bionic Bum



BF7 during the dark thing, had something to do with the cat waking me up at three to empty her litter tray, I was sooo pleased, I will let her out of the shed in a day or so.

The hatches are battened, the drawbridge is up, the murder holes are covered and the villagers have ensconced themselves in the courtyard to wait out the storms, don’t you love the British weather.






I see that gardeners at a National Trust property in Cambridgeshire are urging people to relieve themselves outdoors to help gardens grow greener.

With the weather expected today I suppose that will make it all wind and piss.



And;

Thatcher is dead; No not ‘That’ Thatcher but a 16 year old tabby in Canada, we can but live in hope.

First up:

Jobsworths strikes again

A Birmingham mother has been fined £75 for feeding the ducks at her local park - but her toddler son was allowed to carry on as he's too young to prosecute.

Vanessa Kelly, 26, was accosted by a council warden as she and 17-month-old Harry threw the birds scraps of bread in Smethwick, reports the Daily Telegraph.

She said: "The warden walked towards me and asked me to stop feeding the ducks because of complaints about children slipping over on their way to school on duck mess.

"I said fair enough, but then she started doing a fine. I asked 'what for?' and she said 'littering'.

"Harry was still throwing the bread though and the warden told me he could carry on as he was too young to prosecute. I couldn't believe it.

"I was horrified. It is ridiculous. I take my son to feed to the ducks every week. He loves it. It is for his entertainment and to keep him happy."

Miss Kelly said there are no signs warning people they could be fined for feeding the ducks and vowed: "I do not intend to pay the fine. I am going to fight this to the end."

Cllr Mahboob Hussain, Sandwell Council's spokesman for neighbourhoods and housing, defended the warden's actions.

He said: "We have had so many complaints from across the borough about problems caused by the feeding of pigeons and waterfowl that we decided to create designated feeding areas for birds.

"We have done a lot of educational work to get this message across and we have warned people not to feed pigeons and waterfowl other than in the designated areas."

What they should do is put a notice up to tell the ducks not to crap out of the water.

This fag tastes like shit

More than £1 million worth of counterfeit cigarettes filled with rabbit droppings instead of tobacco have been confiscated by customs officials in Spain.

The fake cigarettes - due to be sold on the black market as famous brands - were discovered after British holidaymakers in the Canary Islands smelled a rat whenever they lit up.

"They stunk. They smell just as you'd imagine burning poo to smell," said one customs official in Tenerife.

Police and customs staff arrested 12 smugglers in an undercover operation to intercept the cigarettes as they landed on a boat from China.

"They not only smell bad but the toxic chemicals they give off are pure poison," explained a customs official.

Smokin!

Russian time travel

Russia has too many time zones and should consider cutting a few, President Dmitry Medvedev said on Thursday.

From Kalingrad in Europe to Kamchatka in the Far East, the country covers 11 time zones.

"We need to look at the possibility of cutting the number of time zones," Mr Medvedev said in his annual address to the nation, delivered at the Kremlin before an audience of Russia's political elite.

"Of course we need to consider the consequences of such a decision," he added.

In a wide-ranging speech focused almost entirely on domestic issues, Mr Medvedev also wondered aloud whether Russia really needed to continue changing the clocks twice a year for daylight saving.

"Here we need to compare all the advantages we would get from economising along with the obvious disadvantages," Mr Medvedev said, without elaborating. "I hope specialists will give us objective answers to these questions."

Russia was divided up into 11 time zones in 1919. The Soviet Union introduced daylight saving in 1981 and it has continued ever since.

Mr Medvedev's comments come a month after a regional deputy in the Far Eastern Primorye region - which is seven hours ahead of Moscow - called for the time difference with Moscow to be cut to four hours to ease business links.

Bit out of sync aren’t we Dmitry?

Bugatti Veyron bash

A Texas driver blamed a pelican for making him drive his million-dollar sports car into a pond.

Police said the low-flying bird distracted the man, causing him to veer off a road and drive his French-built Bugatti Veyron into a salt marsh.

Lt. Greg Gilchrist, of the La Marque police, said the man claimed he lost concentration while driving his on Wednesday because the bird swooped into his line of vision. Lt Gilchrist said the driver dropped his phone, reached down to pick it up and strayed into the brackish water in La Marque, about 35 miles south-east of Houston.

Lt Gilchrist did not know whether the car could be salvaged, but said "salt water isn't good for anything".

He said the man, whose identity has not been released, was not injured in the accident.

Never mind that, how is the pelican?

And finally:

Aint medical science wonderful

A man whose bowel was damaged in a motorcycle crash has been given a bionic bottom.

Ged Galvin, 55, now presses a remote control to open his bowels and go to the toilet.

The IT project manager from Barnsley, south Yorkshire, almost died when an off-duty police officer pulled out in front of him in her car.

Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex operation to rebuild his bottom.

The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves.

These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket.

“It’s like a chubby little mobile phone,” he said. “You switch it on and off, just like switching on the TV.

“They call me the man with the bionic bottom, but that doesn’t bother me. My gratitude to the surgeons is endless because what they have done is a miracle.”

Mr Galvin, who had previously endured the indignity of carrying a colostomy bag, added: “I thought that in these days of modern medicine surely there was something they could do. They'd mended everything else - why not this? Anything was better than a colostomy bag.

“The operation changed my life and gave me back my pride and confidence. Because of the remote control I can lead a normal life again.”

The father-of-two is resigned to having the muscles in his bionic bottom replaced every five years.

What happens when the battery goes flat?



Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico