Design flaws: More Brexit Bollocks: Lewis Hamilton: Lucky Bugger: and Ugly Dogs.

Much lack of bloody hot, promise of sky water a fair bit of atmospheric movement and Dawns crack is covered with wispy white stuff (think her upstairs needs to get the Caneston out) at the castle this morn.

I recently purchased an SDK card for my laptop, it arrived very quickly and then it took me about half an hour to open the bloody thing, eventually with the help of a Stanley knife and a pair of scissors I managed to extract the much needed memory card, which led me to think of other things that really piss me orf.

Those supposedly “childproof” pill bottles, toilet duck things, bleach bottles, milk container seals that either take a knife to get open or are so loose that you lay them on their side in the fridge and the next time you open the door there is a pint of milk all over the contents and then on the kitchen floor. And virtually anything wrapped in that see through plastic.

Is this the result of design flaws? Or is it us?

Auntie BEEB has produced a nice flow chart for Brexit

My guess is dahn the centre and then a left.

Over to the right a bit in German Germany

Lewis Hamilton is apparently not well.

At one point on Saturday morning, Lewis Hamilton was not even sure he would be able to race in the German Grand Prix, so bad did he feel with an illness that has been bothering him this weekend at Hockenheim and which took a turn for the worse overnight.

Oh dear, poor little sod.

How much is Hamilton's deal with Mercedes worth? Hamilton's contract pays him £40million a year, a significant rise from his previous deal, which was worth £33million per season - on an equal footing with Sebastian Vettel. The new deal only runs for two years as the driver is unsure of his place in F1 once Liberty media make sweeping rule changes in 2021.



If they paid me that much I would happily drive round and round for two hours every couple of weeks even with Man Flu....

From many places across this plastic world

Dylan McWilliams, a 20-year-old from Colorado has apparently managed to survive a snake, bear and shark attack.

On the island of Kauai in Hawaii he was enjoying the Pacific waves on Thursday morning when he felt something hit his leg. He explained: "I saw the shark underneath me. I started kicking at it - I know I hit it at least once - and swam to shore as quickly as I could."

Back in the home of the free and the land of the brave in Colorado while sleeping outdoors, he was woken up to find his head being clamped in the jaws of a bear.

"This black bear grabbed me by the back of the head, and I was fighting back, poking it in the eye until it let me go," Dylan describes vividly.

His friends awoke to the commotion, but after the 300 pound (136 kg) male bear stomped on Dylan, it walked away.

Still in Trump land, "I was walking down a trail and I thought I kicked a cactus but couldn't see one, and then saw a rattlesnake all coiled up."

The then 17-year-old made the call not to go to the hospital because he figured he had only suffered a dry bite. "There was a little venom so I did get a bit sick for a couple of days,"



He is now impatient for his wounds to heal so he can get back on to the surf. Despite his run of bad luck, he encourages everyone to experience the outdoors. "I still go hiking, I still catch rattle snakes, and I will still swim in the ocean."



Some people never learn....

And finally.

Over again to the left a lot

The Worlds Ugliest Dog

Say no more....


That’s it: I’m orf to Buy some green car parts


And today’s thought: "Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you."

~ Winston Churchill ~ 

Angus.

Three Core War: Minister of nit-picking: Free-fall bears: 11,721,000,000,000,000 Euros phone bill: and the fastest pram......in the world...

Lack of lack of cold, less solar stuff, limited atmospheric movement and lower amounts of sky water at the Castle this morn.

Took a day orf yesterday, back to putting non coloured stuff on both sides of eight doors, the woodwork dahn the staircase and twenty yards of skirting boards today.

 

Up where the intellectually challenged “leaders” infest

According to Three Core Cable what is left of Europe could be plunged into war if the Euro goes tits up, he thinks that “the consequences would be “incalculable” and added there was “no automatic guarantee” that Europe would not disintegrate into conflict.” 

 Just one thought; which countries can afford to go to war? Most of the European population is in Blighty.

 

And still in the place of pedantic Pillocks

 

Tory minister Owen Paterson is busy getting everyone around him up to speed… on the use of grammar.

The new Food Secretary has issued a strict guide detailing exactly how staff should draw up his paperwork – including the proper use of semicolons

Privately educated Mr Paterson is accused of losing sight of the big picture after instructing Whitehall mandarins never to start a sentence with “and” or “but” – and insisting neither word must appear next to a comma.

They are also told to “maximise the use of semicolons to link related clauses” and “there should be a verb either side of the semicolon”.

In the document, revealed under freedom of information laws, staff have been ordered to avoid dashes, limit colons to lists and “minimise the use of brackets”.

They are warned: “You will only ever get away with one set of brackets in a sentence.”

Mr Paterson, 56, who studied at £30,000-a-year Radley College and Cambridge, produced his nit-picking charter after David Cameron promoted him in last month’s Cabinet reshuffle following the sacking of Caroline Spelman.

 

Pillock Paterson's rules

Keep sentences short – the simpler the better

Avoid jargon, dashes and brackets

Use maximum of one ‘and’ per sentence

Never begin with ‘and’ or ‘but’ and never use them with a comma

Maximise semicolons to link related clauses; use a verb either side

Use colons to start lists; commas between items 

Nice to see that the Tory Tosspot has his priorities right, “if” he read-this blog; he would have a seizure: (wanker)....

 

Left to Montana

 

Forget about the lunatic that threw himself out of a balloon 23 miles up, here are some real free fallers, Montana wildlife officials on Thursday had to sedate a black bear and her two cubs after they had climbed up a tree on the grounds of a hotel in Missoula. The bears fell into a net, and the hotel even provided pillows to help break their fall. 

Proper Job..,

 

Right a bit to the land of our nearest “neighbours”

Solenne San Jose, from Pessac, in the Bordeaux region of France, terminated her contract with Bouygues Telecom in September, reports the French newspaper Sud Ouest. When she got her bill on Sept. 28 with the cancellation fee, she said she "almost had a heart attack."

She was told 11,721,000,000,000,000 Euros — which is about $15 quadrillion or nearly 6,000 times more than her country's GDP — would automatically be withdrawn from her account.

"It was so many zeroes I couldn't even figure out how much it was," she told the newspaper.

Eventually, Bouygues admitted the amount was a mistake, but not before many frustrating hours of San Jose pleading and arguing with customer service reps on the phone.

One operator told her she could pay in instalments — 11,721 million, million of them.

 

Finally, they admitted the error. Her actual bill? $149.

 Well; if you don’t ask.....

 

And finally: 

Up a whimsy to the shire of Lincoln

A lazy new dad has built the world's fastest motorised pram to save the effort of having to push it.

Plumber Colin Furze added a powerful engine to his silver metal pushchair, giving it an incredible top speed of 50mph.

But the 33-year-old, from Stamford, Lincolnshire, says it's too powerful to go at top speeds with baby son Jake.

He spent four weeks and £450 designing and making the pushchair, which has a 125cc motorbike engine hidden between the wheels.

Mr Furze uses an accelerator and brake levers to control the speed, gears to go up hills, and the handle to steer.

 

Worzel Furze?

 

That’s it: I’m orf to make my electronic stuff invisible

 

And today’s thought:

Time to get a life

 

Angus