CHunt does a U-Turn: Doomed Boomers: Tied in Le Knot: Sawdust planes: There’s an APP for that: and In a galaxy far-far away.

More than a bit of lack of warm, no solar stuff from dawn’s crack and not even a promise of skywater at the Castle this morn.

Had a day orf yesterday, decided to catch up on some sleep and managed to get fourteen hours, his Maj wasn’t very happy and in revenge decided to sit on top of my bladder at two of the am.

 

 

And I discovered that my £145.50 TV viewing ransom to Auntie will not even result in a paper license until 2016.

According to “them” “It would be wasteful to send you a new license and the same payment plan each year, so instead the TV license and payment plan below will cover you until 2016”

 And the expiry date on the License?-30^th September 2013....

 Wankers; still at least my £145.50 will permit me to watch the news and Dr Who, and not watch, that stupid dancing thing, Eastenders, Snog, marry avoid and all the other Piss Poor programmes vomited out over the digital airways....

 

Allegedly our new Elf Secretary is about to do a U-Turn

 

According to the Independent Jeremy CHunt has ordered a fresh political assessment of controversial plans to shut hospital casualty units as one of his first acts as Health Secretary.

Under the plans for north-west London, the number of casualty departments would be reduced from nine to five.

Ealing Hospital, Chase Farm in Enfield, King George in Ilford, St Helier in Sutton, Hammersmith, Central Middlesex and Charing Cross emergency Depts. are at risk.

His move will raise hopes of a reprieve for a number of accident and emergency departments threatened with closure as NHS Trusts cast around for savings.

Yippee!

But apparently his plans have “alarmed” many doctors and hospital managers who argue that merging A&E units into larger, better staffed departments saves lives and frees up money to improve patient care in other areas.

Boo!

 

So one of the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition finally does something right and the no mates medics and mangers want their A&Es to close because it will save them money, work and will give them more time to get out on the golf course.

 Who is in charge of our Elf service?

 

And according to “experts”

 

Only one in six ‘baby boomers’ is retiring in good health, with most succumbing to a range of conditions and diseases including high cholesterol, osteoporosis or cancer, a study has found.

Apparently Government Scientists have discovered that the average baby boomer - referring to those born in the years just after the Second World War - has two medical conditions.

Just over half have high blood pressure, a third are obese, and a quarter have high cholesterol.

A quarter have Type 2 diabetes or ‘pre-diabetes’, meaning they are on the cusp of fully developing the condition.

Almost one in five suffer from a mental health problem, while 12 per cent have chronic lung or throat disease.

Eleven per cent have cancer, the same proportion that has osteoporosis. In addition, 11 per cent have suffered from cardiovascular disease such as a heart attack, stroke or heart failure.

One in six have three or more health problems.

The results are from a study of 2,661 people born in 1946, from every walk of life, whose health has been followed from birth. For this, the latest study, they were assessed between 60 and 64 years of age for 15 conditions.

The study found the origins of poor health in one's 60s could usually be traced back to early middle age. 

 

Interesting-ish, so it has bugger all to do with the NHS, or being a Boomer, but life style which applies to everyone else in berated Blighty...

 

Up in the Smoke

Piles of washing and ironing send Pixie Le Knot round the bend – but she couldn’t be happier.

Britain’s most flexible woman has crafted a career out of her ability to contort into eye-watering positions.

She said: ‘I was always the most flexible child in the class and knew I had a gift as soon as I took up dance and gymnastics as a kid. It’s fun being able to do something other people can’t. But I really don’t know where I got the natural ability from – all my relatives are doctors.’

Ms Le Knot, from Leyton, London, spends several hours every day training her body to cope with the physical demands of contortion before performing up to five live shows a week.

 

I’m saying nothing.....

 

Over/ under the channel/chunnel

French scientists reckon that passenger jets could be chomping on straw or flying on fuel extracted from sawdust in coming years as the search widens for cleaner alternatives to kerosene.

The "ProBio3" project, started in early July and co-financed by a French government economic stimulus program, aims to use traditional horse-bedding materials to develop a new kind of biofuel that can be used in a 50/50 blend alongside kerosene.

"Tomorrow, planes will fly using agricultural and forest waste," said Carole Molina-Jouve, a professor at Toulouse's National Institute of Applied Sciences (Insa), who is coordinating the ProBio3 project.

Europe consumes around 50 million tonnes of kerosene per year.

 

Why not use all the wood to build ships and scrap the noisy polluting silver birds that are killing the atmosphere?

 

Somewhere in Apple Blighty

 A young schoolboy left his family with a £2000 credit card bill after using an app on his grandfather’s iPad.

Will Smith, six, unwittingly embarked on the spending spree while playing Monster Island, a popular children’s video game.

The youngster had spent the amount on the special app, which involves children "collecting" and "breeding" their own online creatures.

Players then battle their way through the different levels before they reach the “Dark Monster”.

Will had racked up the bill after accessing his grandfather’s password to iTunes, the Apple music store, where bought virtual food and coins at up to £70 a time.

Mr Smith, of Redcar, North Yorks, said, when he explained the situation to Apple, officials agreed to refund the amount.

But while the family was relieved to discover they were not the victims of fraud, Will was upset when told he could not play the game anymore.

 

Buy him a bleedin Meccano set....

 

And finally:

 

Far-far away and 13.2 billion years ago

The earliest known confirmed galaxy has been discovered with the help of cosmic lenses formed out of the warped fabric of space and time, researchers say.

This distant, ancient galaxy may have once helped clear out the murky fog that once filled the early universe, scientists added.

Astronomers estimate that the universe began about 13.7 billion years ago during the Big Bang. Recent findings suggest the first galaxies formed less than 500 million years after the universe's birth.

One tool researchers can use to peer at these galaxies are so-called gravitational lenses, magnifying glasses resulting from the warped fabric of reality.

Gravity curves space-time; the greater the mass of an object in space, the stronger its gravitational pull. This, in turn, bends light around it, affecting how telescopes on Earth view it.

The age of this galaxy reveals it formed during the so-called "epoch of reionization" that occurred about 150 million to 800 million years after the Big Bang. This critical but still largely mysterious event occurred when intense ultraviolet radiation cleared the fog of atomic hydrogen that once pervaded the cosmos by ionizing it into its constituent protons and electrons.

 

Well; you learn something new every epoch...

 

That’s it: I’m orf to listen to some chillies

 

And today’s thought:

Daily diary of a Boomer.

 

Angus

 

Generation shit for brains: face-kinis and morphsuits: The Sphinx observatory: Shoe socks: Christian tomatoes: and Avez-vous reçu de l'argent?

Loads of lack of cold, oodles of blue stuff above, not an atom of wet stuff and several long white things across the atmosphere from big silver birds with the vapours at the Castle this morn.

His Maj is still kidnapping amphibians and here is one he brought me at 9pm, which he left in the kitchen and frightened the brown runny stuff out of me when I turned the light on and it leapt across the floor...

According to a bunch of know nothing toss pots who have the life experience of a bit of gravel

All the problems in Millionaires Club Coalition Blighty are dahn to 'lazy' baby boomers, five MPs who are all 40 or younger and entered Parliament at the last election, are publishing a new book in which they say that "lazy" Brits prefer a lie-in to hard work.

Due to be published on the eve of the Conservative Party election, the book, called Britannia Unchained – Global Growth and Prosperity, also criticises the "baby boomer" generation for seeking to raise taxes for young workers to pay for their lavish pension pots.

Kwasi Kwarteng, Priti Patel, Dominic Raab, Chris Skidmore and Elizabeth Truss describe British workers as among the "worst idlers" in the world, and urge David Cameron to reform work places along the lines of the Asian, rather than the European model.

In the book, the group also claim that the country is being dragged down by support by baby boomers in their 60s and 70s for higher taxes in order to fund their pensions and live in comfort.

 

Oh dear, it seems that Thatcher’s generation has inherited the “it isn’t the governments fault” gene, and it is the old farts that make policy-I wish I could....

East to the land where wages are piss poor and Elfandsafety only belong to the right wing

Chinese ­beach-goers are covering up from head to toe in morphsuits and face-kinis in a variety of colours and designs.

Face-kinis first appeared a few years ago made from scraps of material found around peoples home.

The craze has hit the shores across Qingdao, north-east China, and masks are being made to meet everyone’s tastes in a variety of colours and designs.

My brain hurts.....

 

Over to the place where cars are the anti Christ

The Sphinx observatory is located at Jungfraujoch in Switzerland at an altitude of 3,571 metres.

The observatory provides unique conditions for successful research in various disciplines such as meteorology, astronomy, glaciology, physiology, radiation, and cosmic rays.

When the Jungfraujoch station opened in 1912 (which is also the highest railway station in all of Europe), Jungfraujoch became the number one place for scientists to conduct research under conditions of high altitude. At first the scientists worked in harsh conditions and lived in temporary shelters. Eventually, the Sphinx observatory was built in 1937 to accommodate eager scientists.

The Sphinx observatory is built on a steep cliff. The mountain top has been tunnelled to fit an elevator which ascends to the observatory from the Jungfraujoch train station. The main-part of the Sphinx is used by scientists but for the tourists there is a metal-grate terrace surrounding the building on all sides that provides a stunning 360 degree view of the Great Aletsah Glacier, of the snow capped Alps, and of the green valley down below. From the metal grating one can see 11,333 feet of abyss down below.

Sod that...

 

Still in the land of chocolate triangles

A Swiss company has designed a pair of socks designed to be worn for walking without shoes.

The Swiss Protection socks are designed to replace shoes altogether and make the user feel barefooted.

They even have spaces for each of your toes - in the same way fingers fit in a glove.

Designed by the Swiss Barefoot Company, the ultra durable footwear is reinforced by PVC soles which helps make them cut-resistant.

The Swiss company believe the socks are ideal for people who like to go barefoot and could be used for outdoor activities such as rock climbing.

Dieter Hesch, owner of The Swiss Barefoot Company, said: "It took many years of technical research and designing to create what we have now.

"I'm very happy with it and I even think the Swiss Protection Sock could become fashionable.

"We're also working on a new sock design which we think people will be able to run marathons in."

The socks come in long and short sizes and are available for about £45.

Cheaper to buy shoes, I think the altitude is getting to the Swiss....

Right a fair way and dahn more than a mile or twenty where real pyramids exist

Apparently a Salafist group from Egypt appears to be trying to retract a post on Facebook that warned that eating tomatoes are "forbidden because they are Christian."

The Muslim traditionalist group, calling themselves the Popular Egyptian Islamic Association, apparently still finds tomatoes offensive if they are cut in such a way that reveals the shape of a cross, according to the Now Lebanon website.

Along with a photo of a tomato cut in half to reveal what could be viewed as a cross, the group originally posted on Facebook: "Eating tomatoes is forbidden because they are Christian. [The tomato] praises the cross instead of Allah and says that Allah is three (a reference to the Trinity).

According to a translation by Now Lebanon.

"[God help us]. I implore you to spread this photo because there is a sister from Palestine who saw the prophet of Allah [Mohammad] in a vision and he was crying, warning his nation against eating them [tomatoes]. If you don't spread this [message], know that it is the devil who stopped you,"

Wonder what they think of cucumbers?

 

And finally:

Still in the tenth century middle east

Passengers on Air France Flight 562 were asked to open their wallets to check if they had enough cash to pay for more fuel when their plane made an emergency landing in Damascus.

The plane, heading from Paris to Lebanon's capital, diverted amid tensions near the Beirut airport on Wednesday. Low on fuel, it instead landed in Damascus, the capital of neighbouring Syria, where a civil war is raging.

An Air France spokesman explained Friday that the crew inquired about passenger cash only as a "precautionary measure" because of the "very unusual circumstances." Sanctions against Syria complicated payment for extra fuel.

He said Air France found a way to pay for the fill-up without tapping customer pockets, and apologized for the inconvenience. He wouldn't say how the airline paid, or how much.

The Boeing 777, carrying 185 people, took off for an overnight layover in Cyprus then landed safely in Beirut on Thursday. 

Surprised they didn’t put the plane in reverse and fly back to France....

That’s it: I’m orf to eat some walnuts-just in case 

And today’s thought:

Shit for brains generation.

Angus

Home NHS: Ticket to housing: No Mermaids-official: Fast read: and ET is home.

Still chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, spent the last couple of days orf doing “things” including a couple of hours and a quid or two having my annual Cholesterol fasting blood test up at the non magical Aldershot Centre for Elf where I sat with all the other “donors” in the cellar waiting for the “cashier number 2” board to announce my ticket number, listening to some inane “local” radio station and watching the receptionists (one of whom came in late) making themselves coffee and ignoring the ever ringing phones.

Which brings me onto other bits of the nearly privatised NHS

Hospitals are likely to see ward closures and fewer beds under the Coalition’s controversial NHS reforms, Andrew Lansley has admitted.

The Health Secretary argued the coming shake-up of the NHS would lead to “better services”, as more people will be treated in the home, rather than hospitals.

He has promised to protect “frontline services”, but around 60 hospitals are suffering dire financial problems because of deals sign with private companies under Labour.

The Health Secretary said whole hospitals would not “necessarily” close down because of financial pressures gripping the NHS.

However, wards and beds may shut as more people will be treated for health problems by GPs and at home under the reforms.

“If you have more services provided in the community, you will have less happening in hospitals,” he told LBC Radio. “That may mean wards shutting down, that might mean fewer beds."

The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition argues the proposed legislation will give GPs greater control over treatment and make the health service more efficient.

According to a Labour “spokesperson”

“Before the last election David Cameron promised a bare knuckle fight against hospital closures," he said. "Now that those very A&Es and maternity wards are closing one by one, it’s clear this was yet another cynical promise on the NHS.”

So keep a room spare if you ever need an operation.....but don’t worry abaht our shit for brains “leaders”, they all have BUPA.

A story for the baby boom bashers 

First orf have a read of THIS over at Orphans of Liberty.

And then peruse the story below. 

A couple who were priced out of the housing market have spent £11,000 turning a double-decker bus into a home.

The self employed auto-electrician was desperate to move in with girlfriend, Stacey Drinkwater, 20, but the young couple couldn't afford to buy anywhere.

They couldn't save enough for a deposit and found it impossible to get a mortgage from the bank as Daniel is self employed so the electrician decided to buy the double-decker bus last October despite his mum telling him it was 'barmy idea'.

Daniel and Stacey now live in the converted 1991 Leyland Olympia and say they could not be happier with their solution to the plight facing first time buyers.

The bus, which was used on routes in Dublin and East Sussex is now kitted out with a double bedroom, a twin bedroom, kitchen, TV lounge, bar, toilet and bathroom.

It has full plumbing running throughout, a 220 litre water tank, and can be connected to mains electricity to power lights and appliances.

The kitchen has a hob, cooker, fridge and a sink with running water.

The vehicle is currently based on a plot of land, which the couple rent on the outskirts of Canterbury.

 Stacey said: 'I love it.

My friends love it everyone thinks it is just a brilliant idea.

'Our mates who also struggle with high house prices even want to come and build their own house bus and live next to us.

 

So BBB’s use a bit of what is laughingly called your brain, get orf your arses and do something instead of blaming everyone else...

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration there are no Mermaids

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the federal agency declares in a statement on its website.

NOAA, better known for issuing reports on such topics as fishery stocks and climate trends, was apparently moved to wade into the mermaid debate by an Animal Planet special that made the case for the mythical creatures’ existence. The special, called “Mermaids: The Body Found,” threw together “evidence” such as cave drawings, injuries to beached whales, and mysterious deep-ocean bloops to paint what it calls “a wildly convincing picture of mermaids, what they may look like, and why they’ve stayed hidden… until now.”

Glad that’s sorted out then....

Left a lot and dahn to the place that wants the Falklands

An Indie Argentinean publishing house has come up with an “innovative concept”, using disappearing ink that fades away in two months time.

Dubbed “El Libro que No Puede Esperar” (The Book That Can’t Wait), this “interesting” format was pioneered by independent Argentinean publishing house Eterna Cadencia, as a way to promote young authors, who ”if people don’t read their first books, never make it to a second.”

The books come sealed in a plastic wrapper, and once that is removed and the books cracked for the first time, the ink begins to age and in 60 days time readers are left with nothing but the covers and a bunch of blank pages. So if you want to get your money’s worth, you really can’t put one of these books down too often, after you’ve bought it.

Cupid stunt?

 

And finally: 

According to “experts”

There could be four intelligent alien civilizations in our galaxy.

That’ll make four then......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to paint a battery on my torch

And today’s thought:

HELP! Our horses are drowning Olympics

Angus

Booming guilty: Afghan billions: Lotta bottle: Truck Nutz: Just one Gelato: Toyota submarine: and Christmas at Harrods.

Same again at the Castle this morn-cloudy, dull, dry and tepid, the bench is painted and varnished, the garden is finally fettled, the study is still empty and I am still knackered.

 I have cut the stump of the california lilac into a seat so that any passing Gnomes can have a rest (click on the pics for a closer look).

According to Auntie

Apparently we old fart baby boomers are the cause of all ills in dear old Blighty, and many young people in Britain are set to be in a worse economic position than their parents.

Shiv Malik, author of Jilted Generation - a book which examines the prospects for the 80s generation onwards - looks at his peers and sees further evidence of the impact a financially tight future is having on young people.

James Morris, pollster with Greenberg Quinlan Rosner and former speechwriter for Ed Miliband, says his research confirms Shiv's observation across generational lines.

Angus Hanton a baby boomer himself, reckons that there are some signs of sympathy among the baby boomer generation. He has founded a new think-tank called The Intergenerational Foundation to lobby for fairness between the generations.

He sees clear culpability on the part of his older peers.

"Let's take my own house [which] I bought 16 years ago for £160,000. It's in south-east London. It's now worth about £1.15m.

"So I've gained a million pound windfall to which I do not feel entitled, and that windfall, at the moment, is tax-free. Were I to sell [the house], there's no tax on that gain."

“It may appear very lucky for me, but the reality is when I sell, it will probably be to a younger person who'll be getting a mortgage and spending most of their working life paying off that windfall which went to me. I don't think that's fair."

So sell it and give the money away then, and let’s not forget the REAL reason for the state of the economy-greedy bankers, Piss Poor Government Policies, unrealistic valuations put on houses by Numpty estate agents, and the “I want it now” attitude of certain people who were given credit cards by institutions who knew that it was a risk but wanted the interest payments.

I do feel sorry for the “younger” generation but I am tired of the whinging and the endless “look at me I am a victim” mantra emanating from those who just want it all but don’t want to get orf their arses and spend fifty years working for it.

Boomers didn’t have it handed to them on a plate, we worked hard, saved hard and now that we are getting towards retirement “they” don’t want us to keep what we have earned.

 Grow up and get on with it.....

 

And talking of Piss Poor Policies

Britain has spent more than £18 billion on the war in Afghanistan and significantly underestimated the cost of the campaign in Libya.

The five-year conflict in Helmand is officially estimated to have cost about £4 billion a year, according to Ministry of Defence figures published in a Commons defence committee report.

But the panel of MPs accused the MoD of hiding the true cost of the war by refusing to disclose millions of unseen expenses.

The report added that the bombing campaign in Libya is projected at £260 million if it lasts six months – significantly higher than forecasts made by George Osborne, the Chancellor, in March.

When the first attacks on Col Gaddafi’s forces commenced four months ago, the Chancellor claimed that the cost to Britain would be “in the order of tens of millions of pounds, not hundreds of millions”.

 

My fault because I am nearly sixty..........

Right a fair bit to the land of “alternative” medicine

An unnamed 60-year-old got himself into a spot of bother when he slid a milk bottle too far up his rear-end and couldn't remove it.

Distressed at the situation he immediately presented himself to a hospital in Zhuai, China, where he told staff what had happened.

He claims he was constipated and was attempting a rather unorthodox method of stimulating his bowel. 

Wonder if it was silver or gold top?

In the land of the deficit and the home of the homeless

The police chief of a small South Carolina town will ask a jury to decide if a woman broke the state's obscenity laws by driving a pickup truck with plastic testicles hanging from the back.

Bonneau Police Chief Franco Fuda ticketed Virginia Tice, 65, in early July at a local convenience store after spying the adornment dangling from her truck.

South Carolina law considers a bumper sticker, decal or device indecent when it describes, in an offensive way as determined by contemporary community standards, "sexual acts, excretory functions, or parts of the human body."

The offense carries a maximum fine of $445 but no jail time, Fuda said.

Lawmakers in some states have sought to ban the colourful plastic or rubber devices that go by brand names such as Bulls Balls and Truck Nutz.

 Load of old bollocks...

Left a lot to the land of fast cars and pasta

Thousands of sweet-toothed students from around the world are travelling to Italy to take up a place at a university offering a course in ice cream making.

This year, around 12,000 enrolled to study at the Gelato University hoping to become schooled in the art of making real Italian ice cream.

The university is near Bologna at the headquarters of Carpigiani, the leading global manufacturer of ice cream making machines.

As well as practical courses, students attend technical lectures to learn traditional methods of making gelato. Marketing and management are also on the curriculum.

The courses cost around £700-a-week and students - who come from as far afield as Australia and Sierra Leone - stay in a local hotel.

Those who want to open their own ice cream parlours may have to invest heavily in their dreams, but the rewards can be huge.

As well as the satisfaction of making their own delicious sweet creations, a litre of ice cream costs little to make and can be sold for a tasty profit.

Cor...net.

Left even more

Numpty Wojciech Lapinski took a short cut to dodge traffic on a family day trip - and ended up out of his depth.

Lapinski, 35 - from Gdansk, Poland - didn't realise the tunnel had been flooded by a broken sewer and came to a halt in his Toyota in three feet of water.

Fire-fighters and police rescued the driver and his 86-year-old mum Izabella from the stranded car.

But she said: "It did put a bit of a dampener on the day."

 Another re-call for Toyota?

 And finally:

 Up in the Smoke

It is a tradition for Harrods to start their Christmas festivities early, but this year is the earliest in their entire history. At 8 am, 28th July, Harrods opened their Christmas range to the public.

Harrods stressed the need for the early launch, saying that there is an increasing demand from international shoppers for Christmas products.

“The peak for international shoppers begins at the start of July so we tried to cater to this early demand where possible," said a spokesman.

Part of the Christmas range includes exclusive ‘12 ice-creams of Christmas’ collection.

Flavours include Mince Pie, Christmas Pudding with Brandy Butter, and the rather peculiar Brussels Sprout. The flavours were chosen after a survey about what foods makes people feel the most ‘Christmassy’.

The ice-cream will be available to sample from this weekend.

This years’ theme is ‘A Crystal Christmas inspired by Swarovski,’ so customers can expect a glittering exhibition.

There are over 250,000 decorations alone, and prices in the store range from £1.95 for a tree decoration, to £2,999 for a life-sized Santa Claus ornament.

And for the first time there will be an ice-rink on the roof.

Fuck off........its July for what’s his/her name's sake.....

That’s it: I’m orf to sketch a spaceship

 

And today’s thought: Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1 1/2 tons." - Popular Mechanics, 1949

 

Angus