DON’T PANIC!!!

Just to continue the never- ending saga of Gord and Ali.

Corporal Jones who lives at No11 is running about today shouting the above, Mr Mainwaring who lives next door is, sitting behind his desk at the “bank” with head in hands and can be heard to whisper “WHY ME? Tone didn’t have this problem, when he was Captain, and I was Corporal every thing went well, we were prudent and the country prospered. Then tone resigned and I became Captain and it all went tits up, WHY?”

Well Gord it’s like this, when you were Corporal you did silly things such as, de-regulating the financial services. Saying things like “We will remove constraints, and the risk basis for business is the best way to go”.

Unfortunately what you didn’t expect was that the financial sector would take you at your word and lend, lend, lend, to anyone that wanted money even if they had no chance of repaying it.

The other thing you didn’t notice was that only being a corporal, the captain was about to abandon ship and leave you with the financial equivalent of the “Titanic”, which to be honest was all of your own making.

And now you have to face the consequences.

There is an old saying-“Be very careful what you wish for, because you might get it” well, you did and you have.

You wanted to be captain; you got that wish. Sadly along with being Captain comes the responsibility of where the buck stops, and it has stopped on your desk.

Life’s a bitch aint it?

Angus

THE NEW WORLD

Still feel as though I’ve been run over by a truck, but here goes.



From the BBC:

IBM is about to start research on a new computer. The circuits will mimic the brain, it’s called “cognitive computing” and they are hoping to produce something with the level of a cats’ brain.

Two things I don’t like about this:

The word “cognitive” gives me the willies : To be, to be CBT, or to be CCBT or even to watch CBBC.

And:

What firkin use is a computer with the “brain” of a cat, the bloody thing will spend all day chasing the mouse (I love my pussy).






From Auntie Financial giant A Darling is about to “expose” his pre-budget report, and the nice kind man is probably going to give us tax cuts and more public spending.

All very nice, the “chancellor” thinks that this will stimulate the economy, and everything will be hunky dory again.

What a load of bollocks, what got us in this firkin mess in the first place was “Ali and Gord” playing monopoly with our money, the downside of these “nice bits” is, that in a year or so Ali will hit us with tax rises and cuts in public spending, to make back the £100 BILLION that he has borrowed.

Tax cuts don’t help the millions of pensioners because they don’t pay tax, tax cuts don’t help the sick or the unemployed because THEY don’t pay tax.

So whom will it help? It is aimed at those “on lowest incomes, partly because they have the highest propensity to spend - for the good of the economy - and also for reasons of social justice."

So, Ali and Gord think that giving a few quid a week to people on the minimum wage who are struggling with paying the bills now will enable them to rush out and spend it “all” and kick-start the economy.

What firkin world are they living in, it’s OK if you are getting £150,000 a year, you can probably ride it out but, please, Ali you have as much chance of that working as you have of being Chancellor after the next election.



1984 is here (nearly), from the BEEB -£1,000 fine for wrong ID details. One of the Govs’ other brainwaves the ID card is about to crawl out from under its rock.

“Identity cards for foreign nationals will be issued from next week, with the first cards being issued to British citizens at the end of next year in a pilot project for airside workers at Manchester and London City airports.”


“The document reveals that most people will have to pay more for ID cards than the £30 fixed fee previously discussed when large scale issuing of cards begins in 2011 or 2012.
Fines will also apply if cardholders fail to report their cards lost or stolen, and will be enforceable by the civil courts.”

“Homeless people wanting ID cards may be able to give their home address as a bench, bus stop or park where they are often found.”

What?

But this is the best bit-“ But providing false information, tampering with the register, giving out people's data without authorisation and holding false ID documents will be a criminal offence.

Anyone found guilty of unauthorised disclosure of information on the national identity register or an ID card application, would face up to two years in prison, while anyone found guilty of hacking into the ID database could be jailed for up to 10 years.”

They don’t need to hack into the system you stupid plonkers; the bloody Government is losing our data faster than it can make up excuses.

Mind you if they put the Gov in nick for ten years at least we will have some peace for a while.


That’s all for today, part two of “our first cars” will be up tomorrow, I hope.

Angus

Talking Heads

I am back again, with a new Item.

Talking Heads

Well Ali Darling

Did we get away with it?

I think so Gord, thank

Christ for Ross and Brand

Yes, it was lucky wasn’t it.

But what I meant was, did we

Get away with the economy thing.

Oh that, yes I'm sure they

Won't have noticed all that

money we have lost.

I think you are right Ali, after
All it’s not as if we caused it.

Of course not Gord, it

was all the fault of those

Nasty bankers, because

they weren't regulated.

Yes, that’s right Ali Darling,
We didn’t deregulate them did
We?

Well, I didn't Gord, BUT..........