Argy Atlantis: Boris exposed: Seven fingered Numpty: Brazilian virus: Death Wish Coffee: and Glowing with health.

Miserable misty stuff, much lack of warm, minimal atmospheric movement and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the butler is feeding fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace with a will and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from the top of the kitchen cupboards.

I am orf to the General Medic tomorrow to have my elbow “pecked” so there may not be a post for a day-or three...

 

West to the land of ‘Orses and grass

Apparently until the 1980s, Villa Epceun was a thriving tourist hotspot 350 miles south of the Argentinean capital Buenos Aires. All that changed on November 10, 1985 though, when a prolonged period of heavy rain caused the salt water lagoon that brought so many visitors to the area to burst its banks, submerging the entire village in 30 feet of water.

But 27 years later the waters have almost entirely receded and the town has re-emerged from the murk.

Roads can still clearly be made out, particularly around the town's slaughterhouse and its religious monuments.

A launderette, complete with tumble dryers and washing machines, can be seen in one image but, as with much of the rest of the town, the sheer force of the water that engulfed it has left the area in ruins.

And as always an Argy has claimed a bit of land and has moved back in, the village's sole occupant Pablo Novak said he spends his days cycling around the ruins, remembering his home town's “glory days”.

The 81-year-old said: “Until about four or five years after the flood, when the waters were still high, nobody came around here at all...I was totally alone. All day, every day”.

Mr Novak says that in recent months, more and more visitors have been returning to the area, some to view the waterlogged village, while others return in an attempt to salvage possessions they never thought they'd see again.

 

Spiffing; with the extra territory they don’t need the Falklands then....

 

And Auntie is “doing” Boris

In a forthcoming BBC 2 documentary, the mayor of London says he thinks the job of PM is "very, very tough".

But he will say he would like to "have a crack" at it "if the ball came loose from the back of a scrum".

The mayor has been talked up as a possible future Conservative leader, but he has always said he would see out his second term as mayor until 2016.

Documentary maker Michael Cockerell told the Radio Times that when asked whether he harboured any desires for the top job, Mr Johnson answered: "I think it's a very tough job being prime minister.

"Obviously, if the ball came loose from the back of a scrum - which it won't - it would be a great, great thing to have a crack at.

"But it's not going to happen."

In the documentary, Mr Johnson says he feels embarrassed about his past as a member of the notorious Bullingdon Club, a dining group for ex-public schoolboys at Oxford University, whose members also included Mr Cameron.

"This is a truly shameful vignette of almost superhuman undergraduate arrogance, toffishness and twittishness," he said.

"But at the time you felt it was wonderful to be going round swanking it up. Or was it? Actually I remember the dinners being incredibly drunken."

Asked about the club's reputation for smashing up restaurants, he admitted: "Yes. And the abiding memory is of deep, deep self-loathing."

 

Bonkers Boris also reveals there is a strategy behind his public persona: "As a general tactic in life, it is often useful to give the slight impression that you are deliberately pretending not to know what's going on - because the reality may be that you don't know what's going on, but people won't be able to tell the difference."

 

No change there then.....

 

West again to where people have the right to bare arms

Police in Pennsylvania said a man is facing weapons charges after shooting his own finger while attempting to "get rid of his wedding ring."

Bradford police said officers responded at 8:56 p.m. March 2 to a home on a report of a man intentionally shooting off his own finger and they arrived to find Alfredo Fortunato Malespini III, 31, a lieutenant at the Federal Correctional Institution-McKean, bleeding from a severe wound to his left hand, The Bradford Era reported Monday.

Malespini, who police said was highly intoxicated, told officers he was "trying to get rid of his wedding ring" and had decided to "shoot it off."

Police said the man's attempt had been unsuccessful, as the finger was nearly severed but the ring was still attached.

Twat....should have used some Vaseline-I’m sure there is an ample supply in the prison.

 

 And East more than a whimsy

Allegedly having a Brazilian is bad for your health, a dermatologist in Nice, France, observed more and more patients coming to his office with molluscum contagiosum virus (MCV) outbreaks in their nether regions. About 93 percent of these 30 patients, both male and female, shaved, waxed, or clipped their pubic hair. This made Dr. Francois Desruelles, MD, wonder about the relationship between grooming downstairs and the spread of MCV.  

“Pubic hair removal is a body modification for the sake of fashion, especially in young women and adolescents, but also growing among men,” writes Desruelles in a letter published online in the British Medical Journal. “Anyway, pubic hair removal may be a risk factor for STMC [sexually transmitted MCV] or perhaps other STIs …”

MCV, a pox virus, spreads by skin-to-skin contact, from sharing items such as towels or clothes, or sexual contact. It causes pearly papules with dimples in the middle. While MCV looks unsightly, it is not painful and often goes away without treatment. Although a few bumps might be an inconvenience, some people develop hundreds of these papules, which can be embarrassing and disfiguring.

After looking at cases of sexually transmitted MCV, Desruelles believes that people are self-inoculating, meaning they are giving themselves pubic MCV from grooming. A person might shave a papule on her leg, for example, and the virus remains on the blade, which transfers it to her lady parts.

 

You’d need a strimmer to sort out my nether hair...

  

Left again to the place where apples are large

A New York man is marketing the world's strongest coffee - under the brand name of Death Wish Coffee.

Double the strength of an espresso, Death Wish Coffee even comes with a disclaimer warning drinkers to expect 'many sleepless nights'.

Mike Brown, the man behind the blend, used to work in a small coffee shop in New York, but got fed up with customers asking for stronger coffee.

"I always had customers coming in asking for our strongest and boldest roast," he said.

"I had to go through the process every day of explaining to them that dark roasts were actually the least caffeinated.

"This began my journey for finding and roasting the Death Wish bean and after many trial and error processes I found it.

"The type of blend, bean and roasting process we use makes Death Wish Coffee the strongest in the world.

"Its actual process is a secret because we have created something revolutionary and we do not want it stolen."

The extra-strong coffee is available to buy on Amazon and can be bought in packs of either ground coffee or whole beans.

 

Think I’ll stick to the instant stuff...

 

And finally:

 

From the country of European invaders

 

The largest pain management centre in the world, and a popular health tourism destination, the Healing Caves of Gastein welcome over 75,000 people every year. They all flock to this miraculous place to undergo a controversial form of therapy with radioactive radon gas used to cure a variety of medical conditions, from arthritis to psoriasis.

When the people of Gastein started exploring the nearby Radhausberg Mountain in search of gold, they had no idea they would discover something infinitely more valuable – naturally occurring low levels of radon gas. In time, they realized that the radioactive gas combined with the mountain caves’ high humidity and temperatures of up to 41.5° Celsius helped strengthen their immune system and cured some very serious illnesses. Word about the Gastein Healing Caves spread like wild fire throughout all of Austria, Germany and other Central European countries, and today Gastein is known not only as a world-class skiing destination, but also as a miraculous place of healing with a mind-blowing success rate of 90%. Most of the people who come here for radon treatment say a few sessions in the caves keep them pain-free for a whole year. Apparently, the radioactive gas is absorbed through the skin and lungs, activating the body at a cellular level and stimulating the self-healing process.

 

Pass.....

 

That’s it: I’m orf to track the old eyes

 

And today’s thought:

Who is next...?

 

 

Angus

Fruitless payments: Self defence pens: 1652 Coffee ad: Times to stop the rain: Phthalates: and Austin Healey comes home.

Wet, cold, windy and winsome at the Castle this morn, his Maj is still fed up, the left elbow is well on the mend and the interweb thingy went tits up yet again yestermorn due to the vast amounts of skywater, and it is as slow as the slowest thing you can think of this Monday. 

Bit late, been dahn to Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run, good news is that his fave Whiskas meat in jelly is back dahn to three squids a box and his Dreamies are still at one squid a packet.

The Farnborough air Show is finally over, peace has returned to the Castle and his Maj can stop hiding under the stairs.

Up in the Smoke

Allegedly the Home Office wasted nearly half a million pounds on unsafe rubber bullets they are not allowed to use.

Under a section titled "Fruitless payments" in its annual accounts, it shows that £427,000 was spent on baton rounds bought from abroad even though they did not pass UK safety standards.

The decision meant they could "not be used in the UK".

The payment was part of more than £806,000 needlessly spent under the "Fruitless payment" section which also included a botched property transaction.

The section of the report describes them as "payments for which liability ought not to have been incurred or where the demand for the goods or services in question could have been cancelled in time to avoid liability".

The latest accounts also reveal that the Home Office is expected to spend £11.2 million renovating a grade 1 listed used as a training centre for police.

The money was spent on renovating the Jacobean mansion in Hampshire which since 1960 has been the home of the Police Staff College.

I can think of a use for 650 of them....

East to the non-irradiated land

Japanese customs officials who impounded 200 pens more than a year ago said Friday the writing implements needed a weapons import licence because they were shaped like bullets.

Fountain and ballpoint pens made by US firearms and knife manufacturers, including Smith and Wesson, have been held up by inspectors in Nagoya and Osaka since April 2011.

The pens, which are made from a mixture of titanium and other metals, are fashioned to resemble bullets on the non-writing end.

A Nagoya customs official told AFP that under international regulations, the pens are classified as self-defence weapons, adding: "Special procedures are needed for the import of such products."

The company had successfully imported and sold the pens, which ranged in price between 5,500 yen ($70) and 32,500 yen, from 2008 to 2011.

So the pen really is mightier than the sword....

 

Back in the days

When coffee was very expensive and rare comes this ad.

It supresseth Fumes exceedingly, and therefore good against the Head-ach, and will very much stop any Defluxion of Rheumas, that distil from the Head upon the Stomach, and so prevent and help Consumptions and the Cough of the Lungs.

It is excellent to prevent and cure the Dropsy, Gout, and Scurvy.


It is known by experience to be better then any other Drying Drink for People in years, or Children that have any running humors upon them, as the Kings Evil. &c.

It is very good to prevent Mis-carryings in Child-bearing Women.

It is a most excellent Remedy against the Spleen, Hypocondriack Winds, or the like.

It will prevent Drowsiness, and make one fit for Busines, if one have occasion to Watch, and therefore you are not to drink of it after Supper, unless you intend to be watchful, for it will hinder sleep for 3 or 4 hours.

Mind you, it still is expensive....

Back up to the Smoke

And that venerable pay to view paper known as the Times cometh this editorial: 

"Let us make our position crystal clear: We are against this weather,"

"It must stop raining, and soon."

The Times lamented that the country was full of discounted swimwear, unsold garden furniture, and unused barbecues. It even said that the country's potato harvest has been affected - pushing up the price of chips

"When the proverbial cheapness of chips comes under threat, The Times says enough is enough," the editorial said.

"The British climate is supposed to be unpredictable," it continued. "At the moment, it is anything but. If sustained sunshine is too much to ask for, most of us would settle for a little bit of fickle."

Still waiting.....

Apparently the Ladies are doing themselves harm

According to “experts” A group of chemicals found in personal care products may raise the risk of diabetes, a new study suggests.

Women in the study with highest concentrations of these chemicals, called phthalates, in their bodies were more likely to have diabetes than women with lowest concentrations, the researchers said.

Phthalates are found in a variety of products, including nail polish, hair sprays, soaps and shampoos.

There was also a link between high concentrations of phthalates and insulin resistance among women who did not have diabetes. (Insulin resistance is often a precursor to Type 2 diabetes).

The findings suggest that phthalates could disrupt blood sugar metabolism, said study researcher Tamarra James-Todd, of Brigham and Women's Hospital's Division of Women's Health.

 The good news is that the study surveyed participants at only one point in time, and more research is needed that follows women over years to confirm the results.#

 Panic over-for now.....

 

Left to the home of the auto and the land of eBay

A Texas man whose prized sports car was stolen 42 years ago recovered the vehicle in California after spotting it on eBay, authorities said Sunday.

Robert Russell told the Los Angeles County sheriff's officials that he had never given up searching for the 1967 Austin-Healey after it was stolen from his Philadelphia home in 1970.

The 66-year-old retired sales manager from Southlake told the Dallas Morning News (http://dallasne.ws/ML2fBq ) he paid a friend $3000 for the car. It had sentimental value to him because it was stolen the morning after he took his future wife out on their second date.

Russell said he spent years surfing the Internet looking for the car and didn't have much hope of finding it

"The fact that the car still exists is improbable," he said. "It could have been junked or wrecked."

He said he checked on eBay periodically and spotted it a few weeks ago. He immediately called a Beverly Hills car dealership that was selling it.

He said the vehicle's identification number matched that of his car. He had the original key and car title, but not a copy of the stolen-car report to prove that it was stolen from him.

Russell contacted Philadelphia police for help and learned that the stolen-car report wasn't showing up at the FBI's national crime index because one vehicle identification number was entered incorrectly. The report was finally found and the file was reactivated, enabling Los Angeles authorities to impound the car.

Russell and his wife, Cynthia, drove to Los Angeles and took possession of the car. It's now valued at $23,000.

"It still runs, but the brakes don't work well," he said. "We're going to put it back the way it was

Ain’t modern technology wonderful.......?

That’s it: I’m orf to update me Android Jelly Bean

And today’s thought:

G4s Olympics

Angus

Down the drain: Moptop Milton: Another Potty old pair: Pippa’s buns: Cuba peas in its coffee: and taking a lump out of the law.

The sun has taken his hat off this electoral day at the Castle, cloudy, calm and chilly, bit late this morn, been to Tesco for stale bread and gruel, and been to vote, and to break the habit of a lifetime and reveal my preference I voted “Yes” to the AV change, why? Because U-turn Cam is so afraid of it and anything is better than the system we have now that allows politicians to vote themselves and their mates into government although they lost the election.

Peter Dunn at the Independent has written an interesting article on our green/brown/black/burnt country about poverty, have a click on the link and peruse his thoughts.

And the bonkers Health Minister Ann Milton has come up with a cunning plan to make our spawn fitter.

She has been looking at a scheme in operation in South America, where roads were closed to traffic on Sundays.

She told MPs that the idea, which began in Colombia, could help tackle childhood obesity.

During a debate in Westminster Hall, Mrs Milton said: "On Sundays, they close certain streets so that everybody can play in them. That is an outstanding idea.

"Before constituents email to complain about their streets closing, I should say that I accept it would not work everywhere. It could, however, work in some places."

Mrs Milton said that the latest Department of Health figures showed that 28 per cent of children aged between two and 10 in England were overweight or obese, along with 61 per cent of adults.

Yeah right, or it may be that the reason for the obesity is that many families can only afford to buy junk food for their off spring, or it could be because the lazy fat bastards can’t be bovvered.

Over the big bit of briny that begins with A.

Two women, dubbed marijuana grannies by prosecutors, have been jailed after California police found 800 cannabis plants in their home.

Aleen Lam, 72, and Virginia Chan Pon, 65, of San Bruno, were caught when police were called to a burglary.

No fool like an old fool-or two.

Back in Blighty

It seems that the latest craze is Catherine what’s her name’s sister Pippa, or in particular her arse.

Pippa Middleton's bottom looks set to go viral after pranksters posted a cheeky music mash-up on YouTube.

Set to the song Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal, the video highlights Pippa's most eye-catching moments from the Royal Wedding.

At one stage, it appears as though a clergyman is nodding in approval of the maid of honour's derriere, reports the Daily Mirror.

Pippa caused a real stir in her bridesmaid dress and a Facebook group praising her assets has already attracted more than 10,000 fans.

Her 'bum' also seemingly has its own Twitter account, @pippasass, which has just under 800 followers.

The YouTube clip has already notched up nearly 60,000 hits in just one day. It is one of dozens of clips of Pippa at the wedding posted on the video-sharing website.

Never seen coppertop Harry go so red….

Back over the thingy and down a fair bit

Cubans' morning Joe is getting a little more bitter and a little less potent. The island is once again mixing coffee with roasted peas in a cost-saving move.

An announcement in the Communist Party newspaper Granma says the new blend is being distributed for domestic consumption beginning this month.

Coffee for export will continue to be pure.

Cubans are accustomed to drinking coffee cut with peas, which was the norm here until 2005.

Some even complained when they started getting the pure stuff, saying it tasted funny.

Local cafes were still selling supplies of pure coffee Tuesday.

I couldn’t cope with pea-d-in coffee first thing in the morn; it would take me till noon to finish the post.

And finally:

Up a fairway to the old, warm bit of the colonies

A 10-foot-long alligator has taken a bite out of a Florida deputy sheriff's patrol car.

Alachua County Deputy Victor Borrero spotted the reptile, which was later put down, on Saturday evening near the Gainesville Golf and Country Club.

It attacked the patrol car while the deputy was waiting for an alligator trapper to arrive. Sheriff's spokesman Todd Kelly said the car's front bumper was heavily damaged.

The insurance claim form should be interesting.

That’s it: I’m orf to probe Einstein.

And today’s thought: "Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret" - Lawrence J. Peter

Angus

“I SAW A MAN WHO WASN’T THERE”

A quote from “what the blind man saw” but it fits nicely with the latest bit of money wasting, inane “research”-BBC NEWS.

Apparently people who drink too much coffee could start seeing ghosts or hearing strange voices, UK research has suggested.

If you drink more than seven cups of instant coffee a day you are three times as likely to hallucinate than those who drink only one cup.

The source of this amazing conclusion: 200 students at Durham university

Other amazing statements from this “study”; "“experiencing hallucinations is not a definite sign of mental illness and that about 3% of people regularly hear voices.”

What a load of old bollocks! This is the type of useless, pointless crap that makes me wonder why this type of thing is given column space.

Students are not exactly the most reliable source for research, and have a habit of “windups”; drinking twenty pints of lager can make you “see” things, as can certain herbal tobaccos.

Still I presume these highly paid “researchers” thought it was a good idea at the time, probably came up with it over a cup of coffee, or seven.



Other stuff.

Labour really isn’t doing too well is it? BBC NEWS- The Labour Party paid a sex offender convicted in the United States more than £2,500 to help it with its 2005 election campaign, the BBC has learned.

Activist Tim Russo, 41, was a visits co-ordinator in the East Midlands but did not have a UK work visa.

The Labour Party said it was unaware of Russo's past. It said it had not hired him but only paid expenses.

What is the old saying? Ignorance of the facts is no defence.


Labour again-Telegraph it seems that after the banks caused the “downturn” along with Gord’s de-regulation of the financial services, they have decided to employ someone as Trade Minister to help rescue the banks. This person is Mervyn Davies, who is a BANKER.

“The Telegraph can disclose that Mr Davies will become a peer and serve as Trade Minister under Lord Mandelson after the personal request from Prime Minister Mr Brown. It will be officially announced on Wednesday morning.”

The mind firkin boggles.


And finally.

As George Wa Bush bows out of the American Presidency, here are his twenty worse moments- Telegraph.

Only twenty?

“Indifference creates an artificial peace.”- Mason Cooley, 1992


Angus