Passing rock: Five year kicking: EU veto: Assisi Satan: Numb nuts hackers: The age of guns: and Old Fart parking.

Not bad at the Castle this morn, cloudyish, coldish, dryish and calmish, study-empty, his Maj-still bonkers, been out for a drive while the roads are quiet, and hopefully the bonfire bollix is over so that me and my pussy can get a bit of peace.

Apparently an asteroid bigger than an aircraft carrier will dart between the Earth and Moon on Tuesday the closest encounter by such a huge space rock in 35 years.

Scientists say this one will not threaten to destroy Earth.

“We’re 100 per cent confident that this is not a threat,” said the manager of NASA’s Near Earth Object Programme, Don Yeomans.

The asteroid, named 2005 YU55, is a quarter-mile across and is being watched by ground antennas in California and Puerto Rico as it approaches from the direction of the Sun. The closest point will occur at 11.28pm on Tuesday when the asteroid passes within 202,000 miles of Earth and 150,000 miles from the Moon. Both the Earth and Moon are safe “this time”, said Jay Melosh, professor of Earth and atmospheric sciences at Purdue University in Indiana.

If 2005 YU55 was to hit earth, it would blast out a crater four miles across and 1,700ft deep, says Professor Melosh. This would mean an earthquake magnitude of 7 and 70ft waves – twice the height of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, which killed 230,000 people in 14 countries.

 

Bigger than an aircraft carrier-how big is that, as we don’t have any I need a point of reference.

And yet again-hard pressed households will see their gas and electricity bills rise by 30 per cent within the next five years, according to a senior industry watchdog.

That comes on top of the 21 per cent rise in energy prices over the past 12 months that has left families and pensioners struggling to find, on average, an extra £224 for heating and with a bitterly cold winter said to be on the way, rising energy prices will have “dangerous consequences” and put people’s health at risk, says Ann Robinson, director of consumer policy at price comparison website uSwitch.

Research by uSwitch found that 23 million households, or 89 per cent of the population, will ration their energy usage this winter, either by keeping their heating on low or turning it off altogether to save on fuel bills.

Given current trends, she believes that energy prices will have risen by nearly a third by 2016.

Just a guess then...

Allegedly Britain will be marooned inside a "permanent minority" in European Union decision making in just three years' times after rule changes kick in on member states' voting powers, according to a new report.

The document seen by The Sunday Telegraph shows that under changes already agreed to in the Lisbon Treaty, eurozone countries voting as a "caucus" will have a permanent in-built majority in the EU's Council of Ministers - its main decision-making body - from November 2014.

Britain will be unable to block a plethora of new laws even it if it joins together with other countries not in the eurozone - risking severe damage, in particular, to the City of London.

Yet another reason to get the hell out....

Over in the land of onions and the odd basilica

Art restorers have discovered the figure of a devil hidden in the clouds of one of the most famous frescos by Giotto in the Basilica of St Francis in Assisi, church officials said on Saturday.

The devil was hidden in the details of clouds at the top of fresco number 20 in the cycle of the scenes in the life and death of St Francis painted by Giotto in the 13th century.

The discovery was made by Italian art historian Chiara Frugone. It shows a profile of a figure with a hooked nose, a sly smile, and dark horns hidden among the clouds in the panel of the scene depicting the death of St Francis.

The figure is difficult to see from the floor of the basilica but emerges clearly in close-up photography.

A devil: How many are there then?

Still in the land of smelly cars and Vino

A fan site for a French rugby union team is recovering after hackers mistook it for the website of the German stock exchange and launched an attack.

The allezdax.com website for second division Dax in rugby-loving southwest France was shut down for two weeks after its usual 700 daily page hits -- 1,200 on match days -- skyrocketed to 80,000 because of the attack.

"Our defences were certainly inadequate," one of the site's administrators who gave his name as Stephane told the France Bleu Gascogne radio station.

He said the hackers had "insulted us copiously in German" thinking they were something to do with the DAX, Germany's blue-chip stock market index. 

Shame they weren’t on pay to click....

Left a lot to the land of the right to wear short sleeved shirts

South Carolina officials say a 10-year-old trick-or-treater pulled a handgun on a woman who joked that she'd steal his Halloween candy.

The Augusta Chronicle reported today a 28-year-old woman told authorities she recognized some youngsters Monday evening and she joked she'd take their candy.

Aiken Public Safety Lt. David Turno says a 10-year-old in the group said "no" and pointed the handgun at her.

Turno says the gun wasn't loaded but the boy had a clip of ammunition. He was taken to the police station and was turned over to his parents.

Turno said the boy's brother, who is also 10, told officials he also had a gun and both weapons were recovered by police. Turno says the boys got them from their grandfather without his permission.

Think I would rather have the treat....

And finally: 

Still in the land of submarine motors

An 86-year-old woman in America is recovering after accidentally driving her car into a swimming pool.

It happened when Mary Lee Fine, who lives in a retirement home in Austin, Texas, tried to get into her car through the passenger seat because the driver's side was blocked by another car.

After starting the car, it unexpectedly went into drive, reversed and hit another vehicle.

It then sped through the parking area, hitting a fence and finally landing in the pool.

"In pushing myself to get over, I either hit the key or the gear shift, I don't know what happened, but the car backed up - wooo whoom," she said.

Mrs Fine's car started filling with water but it was propped up by a garden chair that was knocked into the pool during the incident.

It stopped the car from sinking, allowing Mrs Fine to remain safe until her neighbour was able to wade into the pool and rescue her.

Luckily, she said, the water was warm.

She added she may take a taxi the next time she goes shopping.

Wasn’t an Austin Maxi then....

That’s it: I’m orf to Charlie’s place in Falmouth 

And today’s thought: George Osborne should resign, as there isn’t any money left in the treasury he's got nothing to do.

Angus

Switch orf: 1st class mail: Pippa’s back: Todger revenge: and squirrel in the dark.

Cold, clear and a touch more than a tad breezy at the Castle this morn, the study is still void of any broken one eyed monsters, and I was woken up at three of the am by terrible wind, and the weather wasn’t much better. 

I see that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaire Club Coalition failed to front up to the “energy” companies coming up with an expected Piss Poor “solution”-change your supplier.

Chris (no nuclear/yes nuclear) Huhne said "We should be switching if we're not on the cheapest tariff and taking the opportunity ahead of this winter to really make sure that we're insulating so that we can save money."

 

So why is it that with new loft insulation, cavity wall insulation and double glazing with “heat reflecting” glass, the castle’s fuel bill has gorn up from £48 per month to £87 per month when the cost of “fuel” has only supposedly gorn up by 25%?

Piss poor liars.... 

And:

Royal Mail could be allowed to set the price of first class stamps for the first time, prompting fears that the cost of sending a letter will rise sharply.

Ofcom, the new postal regulator, is proposing to let Royal Mail set its own prices for first-class post. The price of second-class stamps will still be regulated, to ensure that those on low incomes can afford to use the post, but there are fears that the changes will create an exaggerated two-tier service.

 R.I.P snail mail.....

 And:

Pippa Middleton  has been snapped getting close with a mystery man at a boxing match as her boyfriend Alex Loudon looked on.

The 28-year-old - famed for her pert behind - was dressed in a plunging silk Alice Temperley number as she was lifted up on the dance floor Dirty Dancing style by the unknown man after the final round of the charity boxing event.

Nevertheless, Miss Middleton's 31-year-old long-term partner did not seem perturbed by her daring performance.

Although the couple attended the annual Boodles Boxing Ball two weeks ago, these photos have just been posted on the event's Facebook page.

Bit of a paunch there Pippa, not up the duff are we?

Over in the land of Agent Orange

A Vietnamese woman said she snipped off her husband's penis with scissors and threw it into a river after he allegedly had an affair and beat her, Taiwan police told AFP.

Police said the 30-year-old woman, identified only by her last name, Pan, cut off about half of her sleeping partner's penis at their home in Tainan.

Pan turned herself into police and faces assault charges, investigators said Sunday.

The woman claimed she threw the severed appendage into a river for revenge.

Her Taiwanese husband is 29, jobless and known to use drugs, police said.

His condition was not released.

Probably feeling a bit inadequate.....

 And finally:

 In the land of the overhead transformer and the home of the dark

A squirrel cut off half of Greenwich's power leaving 15,000 people in the dark for hours as they woke up.

Connecticut Light & Power spokesman Mitch Gross said the squirrel, which was zapped by tens of thousands of volts of electricity and died instantly, caused a piece of equipment in the company's Cos Cob substation to malfunction.

'The squirrel is history now,' Gross added.

The incident happened just after 8am and before Gross said at 10am that the outages would last for several more hours.

All power has since been restored to those affected.

I prefer my Squirrel baked rather than zapped...

That’s it: I’m orf to reinvent the wheel 

And today’s thought: Experience is what you get whenever . . . you don't get what you want.

 Angus

Garden police: Bagel heads: Don’t shoot the Moose: Bikini sunset: Electric pavements: and an Ostrich in a hole.

Sunny, dry and calm at the Castle this morn, the study is bulging at the seams with non-adding machines and I inflicted some serious vandalism on the garden yesterday.


Bit late, slight problem with blogger-it doesn't want to insert hyperlinks, so I had to do it manually, and I can't centre any text without moving half the post as well.


Up in Hertfordshire

An elderly woman was left "mortified" after being confronted by Taser-wielding police officers - just for watering her neighbour's garden.

Patricia Cook was picking up loose apples and watering plants as a favour to her close friend Karen, who had gone on holiday to Scotland.

"I go to that house every week. My friend, Karen, went on holiday and asked if I would keep an eye on it - if I could water the plants.”

But the 67-year-old pensioner was suddenly faced by police carrying powerful Taser weapons after they scaled a 7ft fence to challenge her.

The drama erupted after another neighbour rang 999 fearing that burglars had broken in.
She had gone into her neighbour's garden opposite her house with her daughter Louise to water plants and pick some apples.

Karen had asked her to look after the house and garden while she was away on holiday.

But two police cars with flashing lights had dashed to the scene after less than 10 minutes of the two women going, with three officers climbing the garden fence.

Shocking.....

And over in the land of glowing things

A recent trend in body modification is implanting objects, such as magnets, in the skin.

But the latest thing is injecting saline solution under the skin, which results in “Bagelheads”.

A saline solution drip, which is injected at your local tattoo/piercing shop by a professional piercer. The injection causes massive swelling, which can then be moulded and pressed into the shape of your choosing.

Apparently, if a skin-shaped bagel isn’t enough for you, you can add food dye to give colour to your bump. So, with a few dots of black food colouring, I guess you could easily transform your plain old Bagelheads into a much more delicious cinnamon raisin.

The fad isn’t relegated to just the face. Low-IQ Japanese in Tokyo and Osaka have also been injecting bagels into their boobs, arms and arse.

Thankfully, the bagels only last for one night before your body absorbs the saline solution and the skin returns to normal. Possible side effects include headache, infection, stretched skin, the inability to wear a hat and looking like a real plonker.

If you want a permanent Bagelhead just have a wander over to the nuclear plant.

Left to the big bit above the States

Mounties in Newfoundland and Labrador say they get calls every day during the annual moose hunting season about people shooting the animals from the highway, sometimes while driving.

"They are basically reporting persons driving on the highways and secondary highways hunting from their vehicles," said Sgt. Boyd Merril. "Most honest hunters call it laziness. Some call it dangerous. The RCMP refers to it as unsafe, dangerous and illegal."

Merril said some people drive slowly along the highway, peering at the woods and impending traffic, while others stop to shoot moose from the roadside.

"As well, we get reports of some hunters driving with loaded firearms in their moving vehicles," he said.

The force is reminding people that this behaviour, however convenient, is unacceptable and can yield a slew of charges under the Highway Traffic Act, the Wildlife Act and the firearms sections of the Criminal Code.

"We have an enforcement campaign to deal with issues such as this, but we also have an awareness campaign, as some hunters may not know the difference - even though they should," said Merrill. "It is important to note that this is not the majority of hunters. It is a small but highly visible minority."

The mind boggles.....

Dahn a fair way

In New York, there's a clear line between public indecency and performance art and it's marked by the setting of the sun.

City officials have told artist Andy Golub who body paints nude women in public that his models cannot go bottomless until the sun goes down, the New York Post reports.

"It's a compromise that is allowing Andy to paint, and the police to do more important things - although less fun," said Golub's lawyer, Ronald Kuby, after a judge agreed to let charges against the artist lapse if he is not rearrested in six months.

Golub had been arrested for public lewdness in late July as he finished painting two nude women in Times Square.

Under an agreement approved prosecutors, he will be allowed to paint topless, but not bottomless, women all day long - subject to any crowd control issues.

Full public nudity is allowed in New York City, so long as it is part of a play, performance, exhibition or show.

Very liberal....

Back in Blighty

Paving slabs that convert energy from people's footsteps into electricity are set to help power Europe's largest urban mall, at the 2012 London Olympics site.

The recycled rubber "PaveGen" paving slabs harvest kinetic energy from the impact of people stepping on them and instantly deliver tiny bursts of electricity to nearby appliances. The slabs can also store energy for up to three days in an on-board battery, according to its creator.

In their first commercial application, 20 tiles will be scattered along the central crossing between London's Olympic stadium and the recently opened Westfield Stratford City mall -- which expects an estimated 30 million customers in its first year.

"That should be enough feet to power about half its (the mall's) outdoor lighting needs," said Laurence Kemball-Cook, a 25-year-old engineering graduate who developed the prototype during his final year of university in 2009.

The green slabs are designed to compress five millimetres when someone steps on them, but PaveGen will not share the precise mechanism responsible for converting absorbed kinetic energy into electricity.

They should put them on the roads; then I wouldn’t have to give half my income to the thieving gas and electric “suppliers”.


And finally:

Up a bit to Bedfordshire

An Ostrich gave a Rhino a close inspection; the two-tonne beast’s back legs left the ground when the bird pecked at flies and insects on his hide.

‘Ostriches are known for their lack of intelligence, their brain is smaller than one of their eyeballs, and this bird probably thought it was being friendly,’ said Abi Crowley, marketing manager for Woburn Safari Park in Bedfordshire.

'Kai has never met an ostrich and it's safe to say this encounter startled him.'


Makes a change from shoving its head in the sand I suppose, at least it is warmer....

That’s it: I’m orf to convert the Honda to electricity.




And today’s thought: The road to success is always under construction.

Angus

Tesco Law: Well- F##k you Boris: Grand price of energy: Lego of Star Wars: and Swiss Numpty.

Sunnyish, unwarmish and windyish at the Castle this morn, the study is overflowing with broken one eyed monsters, his Maj has decided that it is too cold to venture out and the Honda is up to 157 miles on twenty sqids worth of go juice.

I see that my favourite retailer will soon be able to sell consumer legal services in England and Wales for the first time following a change in law.

The government says the new Legal Services Act will offer more choice and better value for the public.

It says it also means law firms will benefit from investment and allow them to explore new markets.

Yeah right.....

 And:

Boris has decided that action will be taken so that police can arrest members of the public for swearing at them, Boris Johnson has promised.

The London mayor attacked police guidance advising officers not to try to arrest those who verbally attacked them on the basis that police should have thicker skins.

"I reckon we need to get back to where we were before some judge given law of 1988 and be clear that if people swear at the police, they must understand they will be arrested," Mr Johnson said.

I reckon that Boris should leave the alternative universe he seems to live in and join the real world.

 And:

The cheapest annual gas and electricity deal for UK households has hit £1,000 for the first time after above inflation price rises by energy companies.

The record energy bills come as three in 10 Britons admit that they are struggling to afford their energy bills.

Eight in 10 householders say they will be forced to start rationing their energy use by going without adequate heating, according to a survey of 2,300 people.

“Britain is on the brink of an affordability crisis when it comes to household energy,” said Uswitch.com, the price comparison site which carried out the survey.

The milestone of the £1,000 bill was reached earlier this week when Scottish Power pulled a £990 ‘dual fuel’ tariff from the market.

Mark Todd, a director at Energyhelpline.com, which released the findings about the £1,000 bills, said: “The cheapest energy tariffs keep getting axed and now there are no tariffs costing under £1,000 a year for an average home.”

 “This is the first time that has been the case and emphasises in stark terms how bills are reaching historic levels,” he said.

No shit........

Over in the sunny, old bit of the USA

A Star Wars fan spent six months and 30,000 Lego bricks recreating a scene from one of the movies.

Jay Hoff spent £1,500 on piecing together the moment the Emperor arrives to inspect a new Death Star in Return Of The Jedi.

Mr Hogg, a teacher, created the 6ft by 6ft model for his school's annual Science Discovery Day in Miami, Florida.

Pupils are expected to bring in a small Lego creation to display so he decided to join in to show his young charges how it's done.

He said: "The kids went absolutely crazy about it, which made it all worthwhile.

"I only got to display the model for one day and I still haven't had the heart to take it apart yet!"

Star Wars-science? And this guy is a teacher......

And finally: 

Over to the right a bit to the hilly, holey cheesy bit of Europe

A drink driver tried to park his car in a river after mistaking a slipway for an underground car park ramp in heavy fog.

Peter Thaler, 42, abandoned the car and walked home when he realised he'd almost ended up in the Ruess river in Sins, Switzerland.

But he was arrested the next morning when he returned to collect it while police were retrieving it and was still so drunk he failed an alcohol breath test.

"He was confused because of the fog but mostly because of the drink," said a police spokesman.

"He lost his licence and will be fined and will have to pay all the costs of the recovery of his car."

Didn’t have GPS then......

That’s it: I’m orf to check out the garden.

And today’s thought: I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

Angus